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I dragged myself into the room and tossed my coat on the floor. I felt exhausted. The flames didn’t go out until halfway down the trail.
Zoran was sitting at the table, flipping through papers. “How’d it go?”
I held out the egg to him. “Lockhart was going to smash it.”
The god took it from me and pulled out his necklace. “I saw the smoke.”
“I lost control. Nothing I did would stop it.” I rubbed my face and went to sit on the bed. “It was like the fire had a mind of its own.” I peered at my hands.
“Do you regret it?”
I glanced over at him to see the egg disappear into smoke. “Killing people?” I stated. “Yes, I never meant to do that. I’m not like you.” My head snapped forward. “But not as much as I should,” I whispered. “Lockhart deserved it.” I wrung my hands together. “The others didn’t.”
“You killed Edgar?” Zoran smiled.
“It was an accident. I was defending myself.”
“And the town?”
“I tried to stop it,” I stated. “But the dragons”—I motioned to the balcony—“that was all I could think about. The fire kept growing.”
“It was the expected reaction,” replied Zoran, plainly.
Sitting up, I gave the god a confused look. “Did you knew this was going to happen?”
“Check the list in your pocket.”
I retrieved my coat and took out the paper. Breaking the seal, I read the one thing written on it: one dragon’s egg. Taking a deep breath, I crumpled up the paper and threw it on the ground.
“Why didn’t you go get it yourself?” I snapped. “You shouldn’t have sent me up there when you knew this was going to happen.”
“I didn’t know what exactly was going to happen. But it did turn out better than I planned.” He scribbled down something on a scroll.
“Making me a murderer is what you hoped for?” I looked at him in disgust. “You’re sick.”
Zoran remained calm. “What did you learn, Fin?”
“That gods are no better than mortals,” I muttered, collapsing on the bed. “You kill for no reason and without remorse.”
“You saw the tunnel. They did that, so I think I had a good reason. You should at least understand now why I hate them.”
I rolled onto my stomach and took a deep breath. “Yes,” I replied. “I understand, but you should have warned me.”
The bed sank behind me as Zoran sat down. “Out of all the creatures, mortals and gods are the most alike. Are we heartless? Yes, but we can also be caring. It’s when fear and greed take over that we attack.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Free will is a plague on this earth, with guilt being the only thing to keep it in balance.” Zoran laid down beside me.
“You never feel remorse,” I whispered. “You don’t care if you kill an innocent person.”
“Not anymore,” he replied. “I’ve lived for too long. I’ve grown numb to guilt. All gods are the same. It’s why mortals revere us.” He leaned in close. “When one generation of mortals dies, another takes its place. I care more for the creatures who don’t have that luxury.”
“Like the dragons?”
He nodded. “I’ve seen species go extinct, and some come back from the brink of it, but never humans. Even when they fight and kill each other year after year, never once have they come close.”
I took in a shaky breath. “Zoran?” I peered into his eyes.
“Hmmm...” He brushed back my hair.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore.” I sucked in my lips. “I want to forget what I did. I don’t want to be like you, but I can’t deal with this anger.”
“My poor little bird,” he whispered. “One day you’ll be free from all emotions.”
I closed my eyes as he leaned in to kiss me.
“When that day comes, you will be strong, Fin,” he whispered. “With time, you’ll overcome the weaknesses of a mortal’s mind. I’ll be there to help you.”
The way he looked at me was so different. He seemed in pain, or maybe unsure. I clasped his cheek and guided his lips to mine. Zoran rolled on top of me and removed his coat while we kissed. I started to unbutton his shirt as he pulled mine up. We parted for a moment to discard our shirts.
I settled into the bed as he undid my pants. “What are we going to do? Everything is falling apart.”
He pulled the rest of my clothing off and kissed my cheek. “I will handle it. I am still a god, Fin. No matter what extent my brother goes to, I will always remain a god.”
Nodding, I ran my hand down his arm. Zoran wrapped it around me and sent fire racing through my skin.
I gasped and quivered in his arms. “Zoran.”
“Forget about the mortals,” he whispered in my ear. “You’re not one of them. You’ll never be one again.”
My breath caught as he hit me again with another wave of heat. I was shaking in his embrace as the temperature increased. I loved it. I loved feeling this man’s inferno.
***
THE BED SHIFTED BESIDE me.
I slowly opened my eyes. “Zoran?”
A sharp pain ripped through my back. I gagged and arched away from the object sticking into my neck. Ice surged through my veins. What was this?!
“Zoran?” I breathed.
Removing the needle, the god turned my chin slowly to him. “Shhh...” Zoran wiped my face. “I know it hurts. You’ll be okay, though.”
“Why?” I gripped his hand tightly. My skin was losing its color. I felt frozen. My arms and legs would barely respond. “I’m so cold. What did I do wrong? I did what you told me. What did I do?”
“It’s to protect you,” he whispered, leaning down and kissing my cheek. “Don’t fight it, Fin. Just let it happen.” He gathered me in his arms with a thin sheet draped over my lower half. Carrying me from the room, he took me to the staircase.
“Zoran,” I pled as we descended to the frost dungeon. “Please, not there.”
“It’ll be okay.” He squeezed me to his chest and kissed my head. “You’ll be safe down here. Aedus will never find you.”
My body was shaking, and I could see my breath.
“Stop, please. I’m sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry.” I wept into his shirt. It hurt. The ice was working its way to my core. I wanted to die just so I could find relief from the ache in my chest.
Zoran didn’t respond to my pleas and walked at a steady pace down the steps. We reached the bottom, and Yuki bounded out of the shadows.
Zoran laid me down on the floor and went to open the door.
“Help me,” I whispered, reaching for the dragon. “Help me, Yuki. Please.”
Yuki laid on the ground and gave me a sad look. He inched forward and nudged my cheek with his nose.
Zoran knelt behind me and patted the dragon’s head. “Keep him safe. Don’t let anyone near the door, not even me.”
Yuki nodded and sank back. Zoran gathered me in his arms and carried me into the room.
The frozen air hit my skin, and I started to convulse. I struggled to breathe as the pain overtook me. It hurt, it hurt worse than before.
Zoran took me to narrow platform. He laid me down on a soft cushion and positioned my head on a pillow.
After fixing the silk sheet over my legs, he brushed my hair to the side and kissed my forehead. “Patience. You’ll find your freedom again, my little bird.” He smiled slightly.
I wanted to yell at him, to beg him to let me go and forgive me for whatever I had done wrong, but my voice was lost. My limbs had grown still as the frost took the last of the heat from my body.
Zoran ran his finger over my face before softly guiding my eyes to close. “Sleep, Fin. Remember what you have learned.”
I let my eyes shut and the frost freeze them in place. The pain faded away to a state of numbness, taking my mind with it. I felt like I was floating again in Zoran’s crystal.
“Grow strong for me,” he whispered. “My sparrow.”