I took the stairs two at a time. I didn't wait for Thayre's direction, knowing right where his room was. And he didn't stop me, not even after we got inside his room.
"On the bed," he said, heading for the nightstand. "But lie with your legs over the edge."
"Long-ways or—"
"Doesn't matter," he threw over his shoulder as he searched through his closet for something.
Aside from the bit of light filtering in from the hall, I couldn't see much at all, but apparently Thayre knew exactly where he was going, returning moments later.
"Inch down a bit so your ass is on the edge."
I trembled from his tone as much as his words, but did as he asked. I lifted my head and glanced down at the foot of the bed, eying the few items he put there: a scarf, cuffs and...a wand?
"Before you freak out, let me explain," Thayre said as he picked the scarf up off the mattress. "I got these things out in case you wanted to try something else, but I'm not asking you to do anything. This is entirely up to you, but what you decide now will give me a better understanding on where we're headed. Think of it as a roadmap."
I sat up and held out a hand, taking the scarf from Thayre when he offered it to me. "And the scarf's for what exactly?"
"Blindfold." He shrugged. "What? I had to improvise. Besides, most of the blindfolds out there don't do shit. That said, I have a feeling you know what these are." He held up the set of leather cuffs, unsnapping one side so it was open. "They're more comfortable than they look."
"And the wand? Is that..."
"A conductor's baton, yes." He laughed.
"More improvising?"
"Not really. You'd be surprised how well it works as a tickler." He went on. "Everything I have out now could be used by any couple."
"Kink," I said, nodding.
"Yes. Just because one might be bound or use a paddle, it doesn't make what they're doing BDSM. I know I've said this before, but it needs repeating. Being a sub is as much a frame of mind as anything else. Without having those submissive tendencies the same way I have them as a Dom, we'd be another couple experimenting with kink. And we can still work along those lines. This can go as little or as far as you like."
"For now?" I paused, but the lift of his eyebrows asked me to continue. "I want to forget about the kink, my submission or anything else that might have to do with that lifestyle."
He nodded, but I didn't miss the flicker of disappointment in his eyes. "I'm okay with that, but if you change your mind—"
"I'll let you know."
Thayre patted on the mattress. "Lie back and, if it's not too much to ask, close your eyes."
I settled down, and after a bit of hesitation on my part, I shut my eyes. Thayre didn't move or speak for a long, unnerving moment. And soon, I couldn't remember where I'd left him before I closed my eyes. At the foot of the bed, of course, but how close was he? Where were his hands? His eyes? Was he looking at me or something else?
I shivered and folded my hands behind my head. I was still clothed. My legs hung off the edge of the bed. I wasn't exposed, and yet I felt completely vulnerable. In a good way. This was the one guy I knew I could trust, as much from our past as the events that had happened over the last two weeks. And while we might not have gotten into bed together when we were teens, I knew now that the attraction hadn't been one-sided.
Something clicked off to my left, but before I could react, music danced in the air above me. I tried to concentrate on where Thayre may have gone, but found myself following the music instead. It wasn't something I'd heard before, but it was definitely his. Strings opened the piece, joined by a bit of trance less than a minute into the song.
My head bobbed on its own while I gently tapped my foot against the air.
"Open your eyes."
I did, and smiled as small orbs of colored light moved from one side of the ceiling to the other. "Thayre, this—"
"Even without bondage, floggers and blindfolds, you can still submit. Your apprehension is more than enough for me. The entire time you were laying there, probably going out of your mind, I was standing right over here."
I turned my head in his direction, laughing at the small disco ball sitting on his dresser beside the source of his music. "Head games."
He smiled, then stepped toward me, leaning in to kiss me on the lips. "The best kind. But you see what I mean? You can't control your submission. It's a part of who you are, and, like it or not, you're stuck with it."
"Why are you so desperate to see me give in to it?"
He caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. "Because, I can see fighting it frustrates you. But also because you would make a beautiful submissive." He brushed a thumb under my eye, removing a tear I hadn't noticed was there. "Listen, I might not know what happened in your last relationship, but it obviously wasn't bad enough to throw you out of the lifestyle completely. Even if you hadn't brought this up tonight, I saw the submissive side in you well before you saw the Dom in me. You wear your submission on your sleeve, and while you may think you're tricking yourself, you aren't hiding it from anyone else. And again, I'm not asking anything from you, only that you be yourself around me. Especially when it comes to your music."
Tears burned my eyes. I was angry with myself and beyond frustrated with my life. When I wasn't defending myself at work, I was struggling to make heads or tails of my sex-life, and the other night with Thayre only seemed to complicate things more. Something had to give, and it all started in this room. Right now.
I threw my arms around Thayre, grateful when he hugged me. I buried my face against his neck, but even then, I was pretty sure he knew I was crying. He held me closer. Tighter. And once I'd taken a handful of steady breaths, he drew his head back to look in my eyes.
Lifting my chin, he asked, "You okay?"
I nodded, then fell into his arms again. I somehow knew we were moving too fast. We were past the point of friends heading toward something more—and I wasn't quite sure which one I was more comfortable with. Keeping our friendship would leave an odd tension between us, but if we continued in the direction we were headed, it could make matters worse.
Only if you mess it up. And given my track record...
"You're over thinking things again," Thayre said, playing with my hair.
"How—"
"You got quiet, and after seeing you play music for so long, it doesn't take a genius to know when you aren't mentally in the room."
"Sorry." I sat up, but I didn't look at him.
"Don't be." He brushed my cheek and met my gaze. "If you aren't comfortable with this, we can go downstairs."
I shook my head and reached for the top button of his shirt. "I think—I want this."
He cupped his hands around mine, removing them from his shirt. "Then lie down. Same as before."
I frowned, and was about to ask him why this particular position was so important, but the playful smile on his face was answer enough for me. So, with a little more confidence than before, I returned to the middle of the mattress, making sure my butt was on the edge of the bed and that my legs hung off.
"Eyes closed."
I took a breath then shut my eyes. By now, the music from earlier was gone, replaced by yet another, equally as mesmerizing melody. And again, I found myself focusing on the music, on where to place my hands on the violin if I were to play along with it.
I gasped when Thayre pressed his lips to mine, and suddenly I was in his room, breathing him in as he deepened our kiss. I sat up so I could work on his shirt, and this time, he didn't stop me. Lost in our kiss, we pulled at each other's clothing, unbuttoning buttons before parting to remove our shirts completely.
Thayre unclasped my bra and added it to the pile, keeping one arm behind my back as he lowered me onto the bed.
"You have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?" He kissed my lips. The side of my neck, slowly moving toward my collarbone. My shoulder. "Just perfect."
He fondled one of my breasts, gently sucking on the hard nipple as he used his free hand to work on the button to my pants. Lightheaded and a little dizzy, I couldn't keep my eyes open even if I'd wanted to. Between the melody of what was playing in the room and what he was doing with his hands, I was lucky I could still breathe.
I arched my back away from the bed as he drew away from me, using both hands to remove what was left of my clothing. Then everything stopped. Like before, he was quiet, but I honestly couldn't say where he was in the room.
"Fuck," I released a hiss of breath when he touched a finger to my clit.
"Feet on the bed," Thayre said somewhere below me. I pressed my heels into the mattress, and with his direction, I parted my legs. "Like that."
I was tempted to open my eyes and look at him, but not knowing was as exciting as whatever he'd planned on doing next. The front of my mind tingled as I mentally scanned my immediate surroundings for Thayre. I knew he was close. I could hear his even breaths, but he wasn't close enough for me to feel them, yet.
But any time I thought I heard something—every time I was sure I felt warmth hovering above my skin—I tensed. My clit throbbed, and I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning or worse—moaning from my own frustration.
I was sexually in need of release. Sure, I'd had my fair share of one-night stands, but they either ended before we reached the bed or the man I was with hadn't bothered to pleasure me before doing the same for himself.
And while Thayre and I had slept together, this was different. The awkwardness of our first night together had passed, and we were rapidly heading into unknown territory. I wanted this—needed this—to sub for him. Though I couldn't say if the same went for him.
I swallowed and took an uneven breath. I ached to open my eyes and see where he was. To keep my eyes shut and relinquish all of myself to whatever he had planned. I wanted to reach out to him and touch his skin, his abs. Instead, I placed my hands palm down on the comforter of the bed, clawing at the fabric as Thayre's hands held on to both of my legs.
"Oh God," I exhaled, and lifted my head off the bed.
Thayre's tongue on my clit. Two fingers parted my pussy lips, slipping inside a moment later to hook against my G-spot. At this point, wearing a blindfold wouldn't have mattered. There was no way in hell I'd be opening my eyes anytime soon.
Alternating between sucking on my clit and circling it with his tongue, Thayre kept the thrusts of his fingers even, never going any faster than was necessary for me to feel that cool flame coiling around the base of my spine. Already I was nearing my climax. All it would take from him was a little more pressure on my G-spot, or to keep doing those circles around my clit.
They stopped. He withdrew his fingers, and I whimpered as much from the absence as the taste of my pussy on his lips when he kissed me.
"Let me..." I licked my lips. "I want to suck you." I pressed a hand against the swell in his pants and smiled when I was rewarded with a groan.
"Later," he said, almost too quiet for me to hear. "But I want to fuck you first."
I shuddered. "You won't get any arguments from me."
"Good." Another kiss. Then he stood to get a condom from his nightstand. "Stay right where you are."
He quickly got out of his pants and tore the foil with his teeth, grimacing as he rolled the condom on his hard cock. My mouth watered at the thought of tasting him, but that could come later, after I'd had him inside me.
He returned to the foot of the bed, and without any warning, he thrust inside, stealing all the air from the room. I gripped at the bed sheets. Rocked my hips and drew him in as deep as he could go. His shaft brushed my G-spot, spending ripples of endorphins all throughout my body.
There was no going slow this time. No teasing. Thayre's abs trembled from exertion as he withdrew. Thrust in again, all the while, circling my clit with the pad of his thumb.
"So fucking tight," he said, his teeth chattering the slightest bit.
I smiled and tightened my kegels, laughing when his breath caught.
"It's going to be like that, is it?" He exhaled. Thrust harder. "Think you can do that until we finish?"
I shivered. "Depends on how fast you go."
Without saying another word, he strengthened his strokes, thrusting hard and fast while I tried, and failed to tighten my kegel muscles around him. But even then, he didn't stop. I begged my eyes to stay open, to focus on his hips and the way he fucked my clit with his hand. I knew I wouldn't last long, and given the way his breath caught, neither would he.
"Let me feel you come," he said, slowing his thrusts so they were on this side of bearable.
I took a breath. Held it. Closed my eyes and let my head fall back. He circled my clit one way, then the other. Every time I thought I had a handle on his rhythm, it would change, and we'd have to start all over again. But each time we did, it took less time for me to reach that point of too close and close enough so I wasn't tumbling over the edge.
I growled around my frustration when he changed the speed for the hundredth time. By now, I was fighting to hold on that much longer. I knew I didn't need his permission, but his thrusts had slowed to a crawl, which either meant he was nowhere near finishing, or he was edging himself as much as he'd been doing for me.
"You're close," he said, drawing me to his presence in the room. "I can feel it. Your clit's so fucking hard. All it would take is one. Good. Thrust."
"Oh. My. God."
He thrust hard against my G-spot, and white specs crowded my vision. I took a breath. Held it again, but every thrust forced the air right out of my lungs. I grabbed at the sheets. Lifted my back off the bed. Snapped my mouth shut to stifle a moan.
And, thank God, this time he didn't stop. My pussy convulsed around his cock, getting tighter with every thrust as he sent me over the razor thin edge.
"I'm gonna...fuck."
The room fell silent. My hearing was lost behind my orgasm. I didn't care. Not when it felt this good, and certainly not when I was with him. Thayre said something, but hell if I could understand the words. I was a million miles above the bed.
He thrust in as far as he could go. Once. Twice, gripping at my hips as he let a low groan and came.
I shivered, and once I found my way to Earth, Thayre had me under the covers of the bed.
"Would you be up for seconds?" he asked, getting up to throw the condom into a nearby trash bin.
"Give me five minutes," I said, my hands shaking when I sat up, "and I will be."
He smiled, then joined me in bed. "Good, because I'm not done with you yet."