I was in my room, packing my few belongings into a small bag when Shandlin walked in. He didn’t knock, but then I’d left the door open.
He frowned. “What are you doing?”
Wasn’t it obvious? “I’m packing. I figured you’d send me back to the trainees any time now.”
“Is this your response to every argument, Iscee? Thinking you’ll get to leave? You’re not going.”
I put down the plain sleep jacket I’d been folding and turned to look at him. “What?”
He stood there still dressed in the same finery he’d worn to Rison, with his hands in his pockets and the usual absolute sense of his own power written on his face. “I’ve decided you’re not leaving. You’re a terrible guard, Iscendra Cole, but you know this wasn’t about wanting another guard. It was about testing my strength against the Old World, seeing what I could get away with. It looks like they don’t care about you enough to challenge me, so you’ll stay here.”
I’d known that already, but it didn’t explain why he’d keep me here as a personal guard, rather than just sending me back into the dog pit. Unless Derry and Zavier were right… “But…I’m not trained,” I blurted out. “And as you just said, I’m a terrible guard. All I do is wash dishes and draw pictures, and I talk too much. I definitely won’t risk my life for yours. What use can I possibly be?”
“You’re entertaining. Besides, the toilets can always do with a clean.” He lifted his chin then turned to walk out.
“But I already clean the toilets!” I called after him.
“Clean them better!” he called back, and then he was gone.
I stood in my small room, trying to figure out what had just happened. Was I the big crush…or was I the performing monkey? Because honestly, I’d prefer to be the second one.
And so I stayed. I certainly wasn’t a guard anymore, and I was told to wear a simpler version of the guard’s clothing (minus helmet) the few times I was allowed to go out. Shandlin mostly ignored me, which suited me just fine, but he still seemed to delight in having me do the most menial tasks – and still creating more ‘find the pog’ sketches. I took revenge in always claiming there was one more pog than I’d truly drawn, although I think he picked up on that after a while.
At first being back at the palace was like being in a bubble, shut off from the outside world, but then little pieces began to filter in here and there. I managed to find active holo-vids when the others weren’t in, or else looked over someone else’s shoulder. They didn’t try to stop me anymore.
And I saw increasing unrest. These news vids were largely from within Mars, and I had to read between the lines to get the truth. I knew Mars natives weren’t allowed to openly speak against their rulers, and on the surface the stories just seemed to be making any ‘rebels’ sound like hewlligans and any government forces sound like the good guys. But if you looked at what they were actually describing…not so much. But that was just the local news feeds. The few that I saw from Earth were far more scathing.
They said the Vyce regent had come back to his dome because of recent rebel actions causing the death of the High Duke’s personal guard (not quite true, fortunately for Colby), and I knew that was significant. Perhaps Shandlin would be bumped out of power without me even having to do anything. I didn’t want him hurt (except for that punch in the gut that he was practically begging for) but I sure didn’t think he should be ruling, nor his uncle.
The main topic was finances. It was now clear that Vyce was broke, regardless of how much power Shandlin liked to think it had. It was also depressed and crime-ridden. I’d already known that, but I’d known it from an outsider’s point of view, from the apparent safety of Unity. And then every time the topic of money came up, the news vids would talk about Shandlin’s mother’s dowry.
“Idiots!” he raged the one time I saw him watching a news vid on the subject. “It was over twenty years ago, and those were my mother’s personal things! They don’t get to just lay a claim on them!”
Yeah, it didn’t feel good when someone intruded on your personal space, did it?
But we all kept our mouths shut. Even though Shandlin’s mood could be so mercurial, I didn’t want to risk whatever might come if I really said the wrong thing…and I was so good at saying the wrong thing. Zavier and Bloom both had the ‘silent guard’ performance down perfectly, but then I still had to learn.
Colby hadn’t yet been replaced.
Shandlin spent some time with his uncle in the business part of the palace. I didn’t know what they discussed, except that when he came back, he was foul-tempered. “I’m so sick of this mess,” he snapped. “I just want to get away from all these stupid, difficult people!”
“You need a holiday,” Zavier ventured from his seat at the breakfast bar. I stood in the kitchen proper, making the usual garvafruit smoothies – heavy on the sugar.
“A holiday,” Shandlin scoffed. “You just want to lie around on a beach somewhere.”
“Sure do,” Zavier agreed cheerfully. “How about you, Iscee? How does a bikini holiday sound?”
I scowled at him, knowing he’d said it to encourage Shandlin, and that annoyed me. “Good, if you’ll wear the bikini.”
“What do you think, Bloom?” Zavier waggled his eyebrows. “Would I suit red polka-dot, or blue frills?”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t smile. “Ugh, the images you’ve put in my head.” Then she paused. “But perhaps getting away for a while would be a good idea. Maybe even off-world…”
Going off-world during a financial crisis!? Where were they going with this? But I could see Shandlin had been listening in, and a hopeful thought sprung to mind. “There’s always Optus,” I suggested, trying to sound casual. “There’s a resort called Paradise which has pink sand and really great drinks. You can fly there in a couple of hours, and I hear it’s cheaper to go there than some parts of Mars.”
“Paradise, the resort your aunt and uncle own?” Shandlin said snarkily. “Nice try, Iscee.” He paused, and as my shoulders slumped he added, “We’ll go to Eden. That’s on the other side of Optus, and it’s much nicer.”
Zavier cheered. Bloom looked neutral as always, and I just stood there with my hands full of sliced fruit. “Is this a real-guards-only trip, or can I come too?”
“You can come, Older.” Shandlin’s eyes flicked over me head-to-toe, so quickly that I would have missed it if I hadn’t been paying attention. “I wouldn’t want you to miss the sight of Zavier in a bikini.”
I’d been feeling uncomfortable, both at how he’d looked at me, and how easily the other two Breakers seemed to manipulate him. Had they always been able to do this? Why hadn’t I noticed before? But that last comment just made me laugh.
Three days later we were on Optus. The tiny man-made moon orbited Mars along with its two natural moons, and its carefully-tended artificial atmosphere meant it was summer all year round. While part of me felt guilty over encouraging Shandlin to spend money when Vyce was in financial trouble (or realised that this would suit the Freedom Movement’s purposes) the rest of me was thrilled to be here. Even if I couldn’t see Aria, I was still on holiday. Whoop!
When I’d come to Optus with my family a few years earlier, we hadn’t gone outside of Aria’s Paradise resort. But this time we’d come out of a different exit in Vyce Dome, and we’d taken the long route to our resort, starting with a slow air tour over the whole satellite. I’d watched in awe as we’d flown high over dozens of small, beautiful towns, complete with man-made lakes, rivers, and forests. There were even small seas for sailing, with tiny islands in whimsical shapes only seen from the air.
Then we’d come to land on this one large island, Eden. And boy was it beautiful. We stayed in a large set of rooms at the water’s edge, the beach of gleaming pink and orange sand just the right temperature for bare feet. And the High Duke had wanted to ‘blend in’, so he wore a wide hat and sunglasses the whole time…and we got to wear beach gear. I wasn’t all that keen on the one-piece swimsuit I’d been provided, but at least it wasn’t a bikini, and with a cover-up I felt just fine. It also made a nice change from the uniform I’d worn solidly for the last few months.
There wasn’t that much to do here, as I’d known there wouldn’t be. Bloom and Zavier, looking quite odd in civilian clothing, ‘guarded’ Shandlin as best they could with their limited weapons hidden in pockets and loose bags. I trailed around after them as I was ordered, trying to spot my aunt, uncle or cousin anywhere in the hordes of underdressed, relaxed holiday-makers. Just on the very, very small chance that they’d decided to check out the competition. It was unlikely, but I couldn’t help myself.
I didn’t see Aria or Uncle Eliezer or Aunt Judee, who was my mother’s twin. But I did see so many rich holiday-makers, resplendent in designer clothing and jewels, heedless of whatever was happening on the planet below. I even saw a few celebrities half-heartedly trying to hide their identities, and not quite succeeding.
“Look over there,” I heard Zavier say to Bloom, sounding like a little boy in his awe. “I think that’s Archi Zhang. You know, the singer from Arparath.”
“Of course I know who that is,” Bloom retorted, but she was craning her neck just as much as he. But then even I could recognise that perfect profile, that spiked dark-blue hair, and the distinctive tattoo down his neck and shoulder. Yup, that was Archi alright.
“I wonder if he minds fans talking to him,” Zavier mused. “But he’s on holiday, right? He won’t want to be interrupted.”
“If he didn’t want to be interrupted, he should have worn a face-changer,” Shandlin announced. “He’s not, so he obviously wants to be recognised. I’ll go and talk to him. Bloom, you come with me. You’re cuter than Zavier.” He said it like a joke, but I supposed that to him, it must be true. Zavier wasn’t plain, but ‘cute’ wasn’t the right word either for someone six feet tall and covered in scars.
So they went over and spoke to the slightly startled-looking singer, while Zavier stayed halfway between me and them, looking a bit longing and jealous. I just stayed where I was, because while Archi Zhang’s music was decent, I didn’t care to talk to him – and why would he want to talk to me? And that was why when Derry unexpectedly appeared, I was sitting by myself.
He gave me one of those grins that made me check that all my clothing was where it ought to be, and then plopped down on the sand beside me. He wore an antique straw sunhat, loose beach trousers, and no shirt. It suited him. “We don’t have much time until my cousin comes back,” he said, his tone sounding flirtatious but his words the opposite. “Pretend we’re flirting.”
“Fine,” I muttered, feeling my cheeks heat. Was that a little disappointment I felt? “And it’s just pure coincidence you’re here, right?”
“Not at all.” Derry smiled again, leaned in very close, then his words were low and fast; “Iscee. Well done for talking Shanny into leaving Vyce, but it’s not enough. He needs to be seen behaving badly, to be seen as a poor, neglectful ruler. We need you to encourage that, to keep him here as long as you can, to make him spend as much as you can. There are casinos on the other side of the island-”
“Casinos?” I cut in, whispering hoarsely. I was genuinely shocked by the blatant request, as well as the assumption that I had talked him into coming. I hadn’t, had I? “That’s a bit much, Derry. I think he’s capable of behaving badly all on his own – I don’t have anything to do with it!”
Derry sighed. “You think I’m a monster for trying to make him look bad, don’t you? But this is bigger than one boy being exposed for the selfish beast that he is. I don’t want him hurt, I swear. But you have to realise that the sooner he’s out of power, the better for you. The better for everyone. You’ll be able to go right back to your home, and your family will be safe. Vyce Dome is at tipping point, and this could be the moment to change it.”
I thought about that. Getting to go back home…but regardless of what Shandlin was like, I didn’t want to manipulate things to be worse for him. That felt…ugly. And as I’d said, he could do that well enough himself. “Then what will happen to him?”
“Do you care?”
“I don’t want him hurt either,” I retorted. “Not because he doesn’t deserve it, but because I’m better than that. And if there is unrest, it’s going to be targeted at the Breakers, no matter what side we’re really on. You know what happened to Colby, right?”
Derry looked pained. “That was a moment too slow on Bloom’s part, and Colby was being heroic. Ended up alright for us, though; since he’s one guard down. Two if you count you.”
I scoffed. “If you can call that alright.”
“Regardless, you’ll be given instructions on what to do and when to do it. As Shanny’s personal…oh, he’s coming back. Look normal.”
Indeed the High Duke had grown bored of Archi Zhang and was stomping back, sending up little puffs of coloured sand with each step. His face looked like thunder. “Derry, what are you doing here?” he asked without preamble. “Don’t say it’s a coincidence that you’re here when I am. You followed me, didn’t you? I suppose you want to cause trouble.”
Then he guessed right. My half-smile (my attempt at ‘normal’) froze on my face.
Derry, who’d sat even closer to me once Shandlin had come over, threw his arm around my shoulder. I shrugged it off. “Why should you get a holiday when I languish in Vyce? I was just inviting your girl here over to my beach house in her spare time. Don’t begrudge me that.”
“She has no spare time! Go get your own guards, and stop bothering mine.”
“She’s not bothered.” Derry looked at me and winked. “Are you, lovely Iscee?”
“It’s just Iscee,” Shandlin snapped. “And you didn’t come all the way to Optus just so you could ask her on a date. What are you really doing here?” We were starting to attract attention, and Shandlin finally noticed. He rolled his eyes. “Come back to my suite. There are too many people here.”
I got up to go, but Derry grabbed my arm, pulling me back down. “Let’s talk here, Shanny. What have you got to be ashamed of, anyway?”
“Nothing,” the High Duke retorted, but his voice was lower. “Don’t tell me that this is about my mother’s dowry! I told you last time, those are my personal possessions, and I’m not selling them, no matter what.”
Derry shrugged. “I just thought the starving people of Vyce might appreciate a bit of love from their ruler, but apparently not. So I assume the dowry’s safe back in Vyce?”
“It’s somewhere you can’t find it. Don’t mess with me on this, Derry!” Shandlin stepped closer, his expression furious. “What you’re saying is starting to sound like treason. I’m the High Duke, I make the rules! And if you can’t handle that…”
“Alright, alright, sorry.” Derry stood, dusting the loose sand from his trousers. “Don’t go on about treason, you know it’s nothing like that. I’ll go off and have some fun since it’s pretty clear that none will be found here.” He gave me another grin, one I could see was entirely artificial, then smiled at Bloom who stood silently next to Shandlin. “See you ’round, sweet Iscee, Bloomers.”
Bloom turned bright pink, and Shandlin scowled. “Just go!”
Shandlin was silent almost the whole way back to the suite, not that it was a long walk. But the moment we were inside the main room he exploded. “What did I say about you talking to Derry!?”
Oh, he meant me. And he didn’t even know what Derry had really wanted… “You didn’t say anything,” I replied coolly, feeling the heat still in my cheeks. “You just said not to trust his flirting. And I don’t.” Especially as it was based around that nasty subject of treason.
“Does he have to drape himself all over you? It’s sickening!” Shandlin stomped over to the drinks dispenser and tapped the button for a pressed grapefruit juice. “Besides, he only does it to annoy me.” As if suddenly realising what he’d said, his expression changed and became almost rueful. “I suppose it’s working. But suds, he’s such a grawlix. An absolute wolcrox with no redeeming features. I can’t stand him!”
Zavier had vanished into a side room and Bloom was unobtrusively cleaning her hand spear in the corner – as if it needed it – leaving me to deal with this alone. The cowards. But I was reminded of what Derry had said, that the sooner Shandlin lost power, the sooner I could leave, and so I forged ahead. “Maybe if you didn’t act so irritated then he’d stop doing it. He’s like my brother Nik, not happy ’til he’s got someone angry.” Although unlike Derry with Shan, Nik wasn’t plotting to have anyone removed from their position.
Shandlin didn’t react as I thought he would. Instead he sighed heavily. “I don’t trust him, and I don’t want him talking to you. I know he’s got another side he doesn’t show to me. Who knows what he could say?”
A pang of guilt washed through me, then irritation at that guilt. No matter what Shandlin had done, or what he deserved, he wasn’t as oblivious as Derry might think.
But then Bloom spoke up. “Derry’s a mindless playboy with nothing to do except cause trouble. Iscee’s not stupid enough to listen to anything he could say. What was he trying to do, Iscee? Get you to pop behind a bush with him?”
It was ridiculous, but I found myself blushing bright red. “No! He was just trying to be charming, that’s all.” And even if that had been true, there hadn’t been any bushes nearby. It was a beach.
“I hope you do know better than to trust his charm,” Shandlin said darkly. “He’d never be really interested in someone like you. He probably thinks you know where I’ve hidden the dowry or something like that.”
Ouch. And that fully proved, once and for all, that the High Duke was not interested in me. Half amused, half annoyed, I retorted, “Way to make me feel hideous. Just because I’m not your type doesn’t mean I’m not anyone’s.”
His jaw dropped. “That’s not what I said! I meant that you’re not rich or famous or even famously beautiful, and you’re moody. It’s off-putting.”
Maybe he was right, but again, throwing stones from that glass house of his… “Well, if I’m moody, then you’re just as bad, except you’ve got the power to back it up. No wonder we’re both single.”
“I’m not moody,” he countered defensively. “And I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be. I’m just too young to be tied down.”
“Really.”
“Yes, really! Besides, I’m a High Duke. I can do what I want.”
“I know.”
“You could show a little more respect,” Shandlin said sharply. “I don’t know why I even keep you around.”
“Entertainment value, you said,” I answered flippantly. “And to pull a middle finger to the Old World. Is it working?”
“Well, you’re not entertaining me. You’re annoying me. And I don’t think the Old World really cares about what you’re doing here, do they? Unless you’re a spy.”
He’d said it lightly, but I barely kept myself from jolting. Keeping my tone as normal as possible, I replied, “What, and my secret plan was to get you to pretend to be my neighbour so that you could conscript me into the Breakers, and then make me your personal toilet cleaner? I can pass back information on your bowel movements, which I’m sure will be brilliantly useful to Earth.”
I heard Bloom let out a snort of laughter which was barely hidden, and Shandlin rolled his eyes. “Don’t be disgusting, you know I was only teasing. And you don’t really clean my toilets, do you? I thought the robocleaner did that.”
Now I was the one to roll my eyes. “You said you wanted them cleaner.”
He curled his lip. “I didn’t mean it. You don’t need to do that anymore.”
Like suds he hadn’t meant it. “Good. I won’t.”
“Fine.”
There was a long silence where I wondered at how we’d even got to this point in conversation when we’d started with the High Duke shouting over his cousin’s fake flirtation. Bloom coughed awkwardly, and Shandlin turned to her. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“I’m guarding you,” she replied, brow furrowed.
“Well, do it from another room. I promise to call for you if Iscee tries to kill me.”
Bloom frowned, but got up to follow instructions, and then it was just me and him in the large lounge room, the couches in between us.
I studied him warily. He didn’t seem angry any more, but his moods were so hard to fathom, and he could lose his temper so easily. “Why do you say things like that?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Why are you single?”
“What?” Talk about a change of subject. “I’m a Breaker, sort of. Dating’s forbidden.”
“Yeah, but before that you weren’t seeing anyone. What are you, seventeen? Eighteen? Don’t most girls of your age have boyfriends by now?”
I answered as impersonally as I could. “I’m seventeen. And yes, quite a few of them do. But I supposed it’s just that I live in quite an isolated area – lived – and I don’t meet a lot of boys that I didn’t grow up with…and it doesn’t help that I’m not rich, famous, or particularly beautiful. Oh, and moody. But I’m not on the shelf yet,” I added quickly. “Ask me again when I’m forty.”
“I never said you were on the shelf.” Shandlin was watching me with an expression that I couldn’t really read, so what he said next came as a surprise. “I never said you weren’t my type, either. You’re not ugly.”
“Gee, thanks!”
He frowned, as if realising he’d misspoken. “What I meant was that you’re actually quite attractive in your own particular way. I’ve always thought that. I wouldn’t want you to think otherwise.”
Uh oh. The conversation was going in a very unwanted direction, so I turned away, hiding my reaction by heading towards the drink dispenser. Uh oh. Uh oh. Had Derry and Zavier been right about that crush after all? And what was I supposed to do about it?
“Aren’t you going to say anything to that?” Shandlin persisted when I didn’t answer.
I still couldn’t look at him. “What do you want me to say? Thank you? Keley said it, Derry said it. You don’t choose ugly guards. You’re my…boss, so whether you think I’m lovely or an absolute swamp-mare doesn’t matter.”
“And what if I wanted it to matter?”
I turned to see he was still watching me, those very dark eyes slightly shuttered, and suddenly the room seemed too small. “I don’t get what you mean,” I said. I didn’t want to get it.
He has the biggest crush on you, Iscee.
Oh, please no. My heart leapt in my chest with panic or what might have even been excitement. I didn’t know what to do. But then he took three strides across the room and suddenly he was right in front of me, grabbing my arms, and then-
…then he kissed me.
As a first kiss it was utterly awkward. I was so shocked I didn’t move at all, and there was more pressure than skill. Then after a second or two the High Duke moved back and just looked at me, those dark eyelashes looking even blacker this close up. “Well?”
“Uh…”
He dropped my arms and took another step back. “Don’t tell me that this is a surprise to you. I won’t believe it.”
“But it is a surprise,” I replied, speaking through lips that felt like they belonged to another person. He’d kissed me. Kissed me. Me. No matter what the other guards had said, I hadn’t believed it. Not really. “You insult me constantly. Five minutes ago you were saying that I had no redeeming qualities, the next you’re acting like you’re interested. So no, I didn’t see this coming.”
“Oh.” At first he was taken back, then rallied. “Of course I insult you. You insult me back. We were flirting.” There was a long pause. “Weren’t we?”
I just stared at him. “You thought that was flirting?”
Shandlin’s eyes widened, and suddenly his gaze dropped from mine, looking anywhere but at me. He turned away, flexing his hands agitatedly at his sides. “Everybody thought it was flirting, not just me. They all think you’re my girlfriend. Zavier and Bloom said it. Derry thinks you are! That’s why he keeps flirting with you, because he thinks he can take you from me.”
Oh no. Oh nonononononono. I’d been set up by the others. It was worse than I’d thought, and I tried to save the situation. “He flirts with Bloom. He flirts with everyone. I think he just wants to annoy you, Shan. Anyway, he can’t take what you don’t even have.”
“But what if I did have it?” Then I saw the High Duke’s cheeks were hot red. He was blushing under that tan complexion, although he raised his eyes to meet mine again. “What if it wasn’t just all rumour? I think…I think we could be good together, Iscee. I could make a few allowances for you.”
I felt myself grow cold as I realised what he was saying. This, this was the exact situation that Derry had wanted me to create, and it was the exact one I’d wanted to avoid. But the choice had been taken away from me. “Allowances?”
“Yes, like…your family. I could let you visit them sometimes, although you’d have to come back home to the palace pretty quickly. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
The last was said almost hopefully, but I’d started shaking my head. This was wrong, all wrong, and I was growing panicky and angry, and I didn’t know how to deal with the situation. So as usual, my mouth made the decision for me. “The palace is not my home, Shan! It’s yours, but it’s my prison! Can’t you see that I’m not with you by choice? You can’t offer me partial freedom, then act as if I’m supposed to be happy with it!”
His eyes widened at my tone, but I couldn’t stop now. “I can’t believe you thought we were flirting! You insult and threaten me just like you do everyone else around you, and you’ve got no bloody idea of how we all feel! You’ve got to be the most selfish person I’ve ever met! And it’s not just me who thinks that! Why don’t you take a poll of all the Breakers, Shan? All those people who you seem to think of as yours, but who you don’t even pay for the first two years? See how they like you. See how the broke, depressed people of Vyce like you.” I lifted my chin, and my eyes were burning with unshed tears. I’d done it now, but I couldn’t be sorry. “So there’s my answer to your offer. No.”
Shandlin was silent for a long while, his dark head hanging and his hands in fists at his sides. He didn’t look at me. Then finally he shook his head and stormed out the door.