Chapter Sixteen

Catriona

What am I going to do with Alex? He insists on clinging to his secrets, even after admitting he worries for my safety with his former right-hand man on the loose again. Alex's anxiety about that had been real, and it might be the most honest thing he's done in years. Now he feels embarrassed about it and thinks he can hide from me. Not likely, Dr. Thorne. I have a plan. Nothing will stop me from enacting it.

I'm going to crawl under his skin so deep he'll never get me out of his system. And aye, sex is the keystone of my plan.

The fact I will enjoy seducing him has no bearing on my scheme. It's a bonus, not the reason for my tactic. Bod an Donais, I want that man.

Alex stays at the museum for the rest of the afternoon. I know this because I go to the museum three times to make sure he's there. The security guard on duty tells me so.

"Dr. Thorne is holed up in the office," the guard says, "and he said not to let anyone in, not even nosy little Scots." The man winces. "His words, not mine. I'm sorry, Dr. MacTaggart."

"Call me Catriona, please. And I know it's not your fault Alex is an erse."

"He's really a nice guy."

Yes, Alex can charm the trousers off anyone. With women, he charms the knickers off them even when he doesn't mean to or want to do it. That bonnie little freshman is a prime example. Alex could have taken what she offered, had his fun, and never thought about her again. He didn't. And I believe him when he says he's never slept with a student.

However much he havers about being a bastard, I know the truth. Deep down, underneath all those layers of subterfuge and evasion, lies a good man.

After work, I wait by his car in the faculty parking lot.

The impossible man walks up to me, punches the button on his key fob to unlock the car, and says, "I'll be playing Bach today, at the loudest possible volume. You'll want earplugs."

He hands me an unopened package of foam earplugs.

I hold up my hand to tell him I don't want them. "I'll be fine. I can handle loud noises." I lay my hand on his chest. "I like making loud noises too. But you know all about that, don't you?"

He grunts and climbs into the driver's side.

On the trip home, he doesn't blast classical music. He keeps the radio off, leaving us in silence for the entire ride. I decide not to say anything and give him this time to get used to the idea I won't give up. I want the truth, once and for all, and I will do whatever it takes to get it.

The second we get inside Alex's house, he announces, "Good night, Catriona. I'll see you in the morning."

He turns to walk away.

I grab his arm. "It's seven o'clock, Alex. You're not going to bed, so where are you planning to hide this evening?"

He smirks a wee bit. "If I tell you, it won't be hiding."

"Wherever you go, I'll find you."

A strange expression flickers over his face, something reminiscent of…regret.

"Good night," he says again, and he heads upstairs.

"You have to eat, Alex."

He waves a hand in a dismissive manner without glancing back at me.

I want to growl and snarl at him, but I don't. He wants to annoy, confuse, and hurt me so I might go away and let him wallow in whatever he's trying to wallow in. Guilt? Fear? Self-loathing? Maybe it's all three, and more.

Making dinner for both of us distracts me for a while, though my mind keeps working on the Alex problem in the background of my thoughts. I've made a meal for two. Alex is going to eat, even if I have to stand there holding a sgian-dubh to his throat to make him do it. Only a dagger might make an impression on him.

Half an hour after he dismissed me, I knock on his bedroom door.

No response.

I try the knob. It's unlocked, so I swing the door open.

The room is empty. I check the attached bathroom, but he's not there either. I hurry down the hall, checking every bedroom including mine, but I can't find Alex. Downstairs, I search room by room, beginning with his study. No Alex in the study. Or in the living room. Or in the room that looks sort of like a solarium. It has many large windows that must let the sun pour in during the day, but right now it's dark.

When I reach the door at the end of the long hallway, I twist the knob. It's locked.

Eureka. The Sassenach has been found.

I knock lightly. "Alex? Are you in there?"

Silence follows.

"Come on, Alex, I made you dinner. You need to eat, or you'll never have the energy to keep running away from me."

Footsteps. Coming closer.

The door pivots inward.

Alex stands there, his clothes in disarray and his hair mussed. It looks like he's been shoving his fingers into that hair and whisking them around like, well, a whisk. His shirt is untucked and rumpled as well as half unbuttoned. He's also gripping the doorknob tightly.

"What do you want?" he asks, his voice rough.

"To feed you." I grasp his hand, prying it away from the knob. "Donnae be an ogre about it. I've made you a good meal. Please come and eat it."

He stares down at our hands.

I rub my thumb in circles on his skin.

Alex swallows visibly, then lets out a sigh that deflates his shoulders.

He nods once.

I lead him into the kitchen, and I let him get away with sitting on the opposite side of the island from me. He looks exhausted. After we eat, he'll feel better. I hope. Interrogating him when he's in a weakened condition won't help anything.

"Sorry there's no dessert," I say when we're both done eating. "Didnae want to spend time making something when I knew you were somewhere starving."

"Not starving." He pushes his empty plate toward the island's center. "I was resting."

"You do look tired, more than when we first got home."

"Home?" He squints at me. "Why are you referring to my house as 'home'? You are a guest."

Alex is right. I called this gloomy house "home." Why did I do that? I could dismiss it as a common way of referring to a house, but deep down, I know there's more to it. So I tell Alex the truth.

"I called it home," I say, "because being with you feels like it did when we used to live together. It feels comfortable and…right."

He stares at me without expression, for so long that my pulse accelerates while I wonder if I've said too much. Will he run away again? Will he get angry and toss me out the door?

Alex does neither of those. He bows his head, resting his arms on the island. "You think you want the truth, but trust me, you don't. If you leave tonight, at least you can hold on to your fantasy that I'm a decent man somewhere deep inside. If you stay, if you keep trying to get the truth out of me, you will regret it."

The words don't strike me as a threat. Given his fear this morning, I think he's terrified I won't like what I see when he finally shows me everything.

I stretch my arms out to close my hands around his. "Don't worry, Alex. I won't leave you."

He studies my hands, where they lie atop his. His brows draw together, and he swallows again, so hard I can see it.

Then he gets up and walks out the door.

I'll give him tonight to get used to the idea I'm not leaving him and he can't get rid of me. But tomorrow…

Get ready, Alex, I'm coming for you.