Thank God for professional hairdressers able to repair a dodgy clipper job on a seven-year-old’s head, administered by a frustrated mother sick to death of nits.
They are the evil cousin of sharing, the scourge of the playground, unsightly little buggers that jump from head to head and take up residence in even the cleanest of hair.
I’m sorry if just reading this is making you itch, but something needs to be done before we are all tearing our hair out and kids everywhere are sporting uneven hairstyles hacked by unskilled and exasperated mothers.
Save the Itchy & Scratchy Show for TV. Don’t send your kid to school with nits.
Think of their classmates. They don’t want to take them home. Transferring nits to another head doesn’t mean they all pack up, move on and leave your kid alone, instead they simply infest both.
You may think your child is the cleanest one in school, perfectly sanitised, pressed and brushed before they walk out the door. To a nit, it doesn’t matter. Any head is fair game.
So sit down with a fine comb and a bottle of conditioner and catch the damn things, each and every rotten little one.
Our GP recommends smothering the hair in conditioner, putting on a shower cap and letting the little blighters suffocate for a good hour.
My friend’s daughter has had them about four times this year. Her mum keeps her home from school, diligently bombs the damn things, combs each one out, then sends her back to be reinfested.
She is sure she knows which child is the carrier, but is powerless. The school can’t even say anything. The breeding ground might be front and centre in class, scratching her head with more than just confusion, but there is nothing you can do.
Mums, let’s help each other out. Don’t send your child to school if they are likely to swap anything more than ideas. Keep combing, checking, plaiting and spraying—and leave the haircuts to the professionals.