Neil’s phone gave a loud ping as they reached the dock. He knew it was going to be the latest and last clue from Nori. He had no intention of opening the e-mail right away. He was already too rattled.
“I’ll return the boat keys, and I’ll explain about the missing boat,” Nakamura said. Jones tied up the ropes and got the boat moored safely. Neil could hear Nakamura and the manager of the boat rental company getting into a heated discussion.
Neil sniffed the air. He didn’t smell cherry blossoms anymore, but he did sense the whopping bill that was about to be placed on his credit card. Neil’s head started to pound as he thought about the mounting bills and the stress of his last battle. What if he lost? Would Nori slap a chain on his leg and force him to hunt rhinos on the ship?
Neil sighed. He’d better suck it up and read the clue and try to prepare. Neil joined Larry and Isabella in the SUV and opened his e-mail.
BOY FEELING RATTLED
RUSSIAN OMELETS BOO HISSSS LOSE
SHELLS SHOCK CRACKS APPEAR
(PS: YOU KNOW WHERE THE ANIMALS ARE AND THEY WILL HAVE THEIR REVENGE. 11 A.M.)
“Yikes, that’s some horrible poetry,” Larry said.
“No kidding,” Neil said, closing the e-mail and ignoring Larry’s dig. “I have a feeling eggs are involved.”
“Gee, with omelets? Do you think?” Larry said sarcastically.
Neil ignored him again. “Although I don’t see anything that would suggest chickens or ducks or geese. Maybe he means caviar? That’s fish eggs.”
“Oh, my goodness,” Isabella said, sitting bolt upright. “He means snake eggs!”
“Snake eggs?” Neil said.
“That’s what hissss means.”
Larry made a gagging noise. “Seriously? UGH! That’s gross.”
Neil ran his hands through his hair and moaned. “Snake eggs. Ohhh, can we go home now, please?”
Nakamura and Jones came back to the SUV. “Hey, what’s eating the Nose?” Nakamura said as he climbed inside and spied Neil rocking back and forth with his head in his hands.
“Interesting choice of words.” Larry laughed. Isabella explained the haiku.
“Good luck with that one,” Nakamura said with a chuckle. “I do have some good news for you. The bill is only half of what I predicted.”
Neil gave a muffled “Hooray.”
Jones started to back up the car. Nakamura turned around to look out the back window. “What’s dangerous about snake eggs? Are they poisonous?”
“I bet collecting them is!” Larry said.
Instantly, Neil knew that Larry had hit upon the challenge. That was the final trial. Not cooking snake eggs, although he’d have to be ready for that, but collecting eggs that were being protected by snakes. Neil was going to have to grab the eggs himself. If he refused, he would lose. If he didn’t, he’d risk getting bit himself . . . and ending up dead.
“So Nori wants me to get bitten by a poisonous snake!”
“Actually snakes are venomous, not poisonous,” Larry said.
“What?”
“They’re venomous. They inject venom,” Larry said.
“Let me guess, you learned that in biology class?” Neil said.
Larry nodded. “Yes. Your biology class. It’s on page five of your homework. I peeked.”
“Does page six tell me where the pickup point is?”
Nakamura jumped in. “I think I’ve got that figured out. ‘You know’ is a clue. He’s referring to the Ueno Zoo. That’s where they are going to pick you up tomorrow.”
“Or maybe that’s where the battle will take place,” Isabella suggested.
“So then what’s the bit about animals having their revenge? Are they going to make me battle a gorilla?” Neil thought of Kong. “Wait, I already am.” Neil did not look happy.
“The Ueno Zoo is the oldest in Japan,” Nakamura said. “I used to go there as a kid, with my dad. He told me wonderful and horrible stories about the animals.”
“Horrible?” Isabella said.
“Just before the end of World War Two the authorities worried that the animals were going to escape. The bombs were wrecking the cages. So they poisoned all the animals rather than risk having them roam the streets. Dozens of rare and beautiful animals died. The elephants could sense the food was poisoned. They didn’t eat. They died of starvation.”
Everyone was quiet.
“Well, that’s a cheerful bedtime story,” Larry said finally. Isabella nodded.
“So what kind of ‘revenge’ does Nori have in mind?” Neil grimaced.
“The animals were poisoned by humans. Maybe the ‘revenge’ is that the humans are going to get poisoned? Seems pretty consistent with the other battles,” Nakamura said.
“Well, if anyone has any experience fighting venomous snakes, I could use some advice,” Neil said.
Everyone looked at Jones.
“Wear gloves,” he said.
* * *
The pickup point was the Ueno Zoo. Neil lingered by the gate for ten minutes before a large white van drove out of the zoo and screeched to a halt next to him. The door swung open and the driver motioned vigorously for Neil to hurry up and jump in the cab. Neil heard a growling from the back of the van. He had a sneaking suspicion the cargo was some poached rare animal for Nori’s floating zoo. He nervously got in, hoping the animal wasn’t also on the menu.
They sped to the dock, boarded a barge, and a short trip later, they were at the yacht. Neil was relieved to be back on the familiar territory; it would make his plan easier. The crane lifted them onto the deck and then the driver practically shoved Neil out of the cab door. The van sank down into the floor and disappeared.
Neil looked around at the ship, which seemed exactly the same. If Koko had attacked, there appeared to be no visible damage. Of course, it was a big ship. The deck rose again, vanless, and Neil stepped on. The deck slipped back down into the bowels of the ship. Neil could hear the lusty cheering of the crowd, even through the glass walls of the elevator shaft.
Neil took a deep breath and slipped a glove over his right hand. It wasn’t just any glove; it was one of the gloves Jones wore when he went diving in piranha-infested waters, or so he said. It resembled the chain-mail glove one might see as part of a suit of armor in a museum—but lighter and with no holes between the links for any fangs to find their way to inject poison—or venom—into a person’s circulatory system.
He reached the kitchen. Neil saw Nori parading around a series of glass boxes, periodically smacking the sides with a stick. The resounding thwack did nothing to settle down the dangerous and angry-looking snakes that lay inside, coiled and ready to strike. Neil was pretty sure that was the point. Cobras spat venom at the glass, and rattlesnakes bared their fangs.
“Today, battle venom!” Nori yelled, repeatedly smacking a glass case with a red and black snake inside. The snake looked extremely ticked off. “This is our final battle! Winner take all!”
Kong stood perfectly still. He wasn’t wearing gloves. Hadn’t Nori tipped him off this time? It didn’t matter. Neil needed to forget the competition and worry about himself. Today he would make a true Neil Flambé meal. Everything depended on it. Neil actually felt a thrill as he thought of the challenge. He could feel the energy pulsing in his hands, and in his nose. He might lose, but . . . actually, there was no way he was going to lose.
“Today’s challenge is to make the perfect omelet. Simple. We have five judges and each has asked for three eggs. How many eggs will each chef need, Chef Flambé?” Nori pointed at Neil.
“Fifteen,” Neil said. Honestly, was there anyone in the world who didn’t want to nag him about his homework? Neil noticed with some surprise that the emaciated judge was still alive and still seated in the fifth chair.
Nori smiled. “Yes, fifteen. You will only have five minutes to collect those eggs. These ‘gentle’ little reptiles are guarding them.” There was an ooooh from the crowd. “You may choose only fifteen, and you must cook them all. But be warned . . .” He paused for effect. “Some are chicken eggs, some are actual snake eggs. Not all are safe to eat. Can you tell the difference?”
Neil smiled. “Thank you, Jones,” he whispered under his breath, quickly running through the litany of information Jones had taught him.
“Of course, if a chef gets bitten by one of these poisonous snakes, then perhaps the battle will be over before it begins. Neil Flambé, you are first! The clock starts now.” He smacked the sides of the boxes one more time and then moved away.
Neil approached the snakes slowly and carefully. Jones had told him to lull the snakes into a sense of safety. Sudden movement would make the snakes move. And they are a heck of a lot faster than you, Jones had warned him.
There were two holes cut into each box with one-way doors. His hands could get in, but the snake couldn’t get out . . . unless it bit him and then hung on as he yanked his hand back through. The first snake was some kind of small viper with a diamond-patterned skin. As Neil approached, it coiled itself and began to make a loud noise. Neil could see three eggs inside, all of them oval. “Chicken eggs,” Neil said. Snake eggs are longer and thinner, Jones’s voice came back to him again.
Neil took his armored right hand and gently slid it through a hole. The snake’s hissing noise grew louder. “C’mon, closer, closer . . .” The snake struck at his gloved hand. Neil could feel the incredible pressure of the viper’s jaws as it attempted to drive its fangs into Neil’s hand, but the glove worked. As the snake recoiled Neil was able to reach out and take a firm grip of its neck, or at least what he assumed was its neck.
As quickly as he could, Neil shot his left hand through the other hole and grabbed the eggs. This was harder to do than he’d imagined and he was only able to grab two. He could feel the snake wriggling free. He yanked his left hand out and let go of the snake. It struck at his gloved hand again and again as he yanked it out.
“Ten minutes left!” Nori called.
Surprised, Neil checked his watch. Nori was right. Five minutes gone and Neil had two eggs! He moved onto the next cage. A giant python was inside. Not a biter, Jones had said. But don’t let it coil itself around you or you’re a goner. Neil couldn’t see any eggs from the outside.
Neil stuck his right hand in and lifted the snake. It was slimy and heavy. Five large and long eggs were nestled together in the straw. Python eggs! Neil thought. He put his left hand in and gently felt the eggs. Snake eggs all have soft shells but two of the eggs were firm underneath. Try to cook snake eggs that are hard and you’ll have a live venomous snake baby on your hands, literally, Jones had said. The other three were squishy. “Squishy means sterile, which means edible and actually pretty delicious.” Neil grabbed them and got his hands out, just as the python began to tighten its grip on Neil’s wrist.
“Whoa! That was close,” Nori announced to the crowd. He was enjoying this way more than Neil. Neil repeated the process in four more cages, cornering a king cobra, rattling a rattlesnake, and ticking off two black mambas for good measure. But he had his fifteen eggs and no bites.
“Congratulations,” Nori spat. He seemed disappointed. “Now Kong will choose his ingredients.”
Neil watched as Kong strode toward the snakes. Without hesitating, he stuck his bare right hand into the first snake cage. But Neil saw he was holding something, a tiny spray bottle. Kong pushed the top and a fine mist hit the snake in the face.
Neil caught the scent. Cinnamon and cloves? He was confused. The viper recoiled as Kong sprayed the mist into its face. Then Kong reached in with his left hand and grabbed the egg Neil had left behind.
“A food-based snake repellent,” Nori said to the crowd. “Only a clever chef could think of that!” He looked at Neil and winked.
Kong had twelve eggs by the time he approached the second black mamba. But Neil was certain he’d seen only two eggs left in that cage, and neither was any good. Kong stuck his hand in and apparently came to the same conclusion quickly. He yanked his hand out and went back to the python and rattlesnakes, finally getting his last three eggs just as his time ran out.
“Egg hunting is over! Now you have ten minutes left to make your dishes!” Nori hollered into the microphone.
From that moment on, it wasn’t much of a competition. Neil was an omelet expert. He cut the soft-sided python eggs with a knife, letting the soft interior spill into a large bowl. Neil knew the snake eggs would get too tough if he cooked them on their own, so he set them aside. He took his chicken eggs and separated the whites from the yolks. He whipped the whites before adding the yolks and snake eggs back in, folding them together gently.
Then he quickly set up his five plates, chopped some fresh herbs, and leaned back and waited. The best omelets were cooked right before being served, and there were still five minutes left on the clock.
Kong, on the other hand, had made the fatal mistake of starting his eggs too early. Nori became increasingly agitated as Kong struggled to keep his omelets from getting too tough and too dry. It didn’t help matters that Kong had chosen more of the tougher snake eggs than Neil.
Three minutes left. Neil fired his burners on high and threw some butter in his pans. Once the butter began to foam he used a ladle to put equal amounts of his egg mixture in each. The eggs sizzled and bubbled, filling with the air pockets that Neil knew would make his omelets fluffily perfect.
With expert precision he quickly agitated each pan. He waited for exactly the right moment before adding a sprinkle of salt, pepper, and fine chopped herbs to each. Within seconds each omelet was on its own plate, awaiting the praise of the judges.
The omelets were cooked so perfectly the old man didn’t even need to resort to his blender and straw. The other judges hummed contentedly as the eggs melted in their mouths.
Then it was Kong’s turn. The judges practically broke their knives trying to saw through the tough skin on Kong’s omelets. The old judge didn’t even attempt to eat it, merely asking his servant to hold it to his mouth so he could smell and lick it.
It was looking like a clear victory for Neil.
Nori must have had the same impression because he ran over and began smacking Kong repeatedly with a whisk. “You will pay for this. Remember what I told you.”
Kong didn’t say a word but fell to the floor in a heap. Nori stood over him and yelled. “Yes. Die now. That will save me the trouble!” Nori walked away in disgust.
Neil sensed something was wrong. Nori hadn’t hit Kong that hard with the whisk. Why had he collapsed? Neil ran over to the chef’s side.
“What’s wrong?” Neil said.
Kong held up his hand and nodded with his head for Neil to shake. It was a tender gesture that Neil hadn’t expected. Neil took Kong’s hand, shook it, and then noticed the bite marks from the black mamba, turning Kong’s flesh purple.
“Congratulations,” Kong said.
“You speak English?” Neil said, flabbergasted.
“You win. I die,” Kong said. “I saw you threw the other battles. I do not know why, but I knew you would not let Kong win today. I will not give Nori the satisfaction of killing me. I have taken another way out.”
“No, no, NO!” Neil yelled. He ran over to his workstation and grabbed a towel. Rushing back he twisted it around Kong’s arm until he winced in pain. Jones had also given him some first aid tips, in case he messed up with the snakes. “Now sit up. Keep this stupid wound under the level of your heart. That will keep your heart from pumping the poison, venom, whatever, through your body. C’mon, sit up!”
“Who cares about this pathetic man; he will soon be food for sharks!” Nori said. The crowd stamped their feet.
The lava woman stood up. “This man is lucky to die. His loss is his shame but his death is his reward for living a glorious life of risk! Now, let us announce the scores and make it official. There is an eruption predicted for Mount Etna tomorrow and I would like to be there early. The best lava always spews out first.”
“NO!” Neil said. He needed to set his plan in action. “Before the judges announce their scores, I would like to ask for a slight change.”
“Change to what?” Nori said. “The battle is over.”
“A change to the grand prize,” Neil said.
Nori glowered at him. This was not going to be a slam dunk. Neil would have to appeal to Nori’s main personality feature—greed. Well, greed was probably in a close tie with cruelty, but Neil was banking that greed would win out this time.
Neil stood up. “I am about to be declared the winner—and you are going to owe me a large amount of money. I’m willing to sacrifice that for two prizes.”
“What?” Nori snapped. “TWO! You’re lucky I don’t send you over the side to join Kong with the sharks.” Nori took a step toward Neil.
“WAIT! Hear me out! You’ll save the money!”
Nori stopped. “I’m listening.”
“The prizes are these. One, you will NOT feed Kong to any sharks, and you will get that nasty bite on his arm looked at ASAP.”
Nori didn’t react. “And two?”
“I want to ride on a submarine. I want to look for my cousin’s body,” Neil said.
“My submarine hasn’t been in the water for months.” Nori stroked his chin, then shook his head. “No. I don’t care about money that much. You get the money; the sharks get Kong.” He started walking back toward the judges. “Now let’s see the scores.”
Okay, strike one, Neil thought with a bit of panic. Time to appeal to his cruelty. “I’ll lose my restaurant if you agree.”
Nori stopped and slowly looked back over his shoulder. “What do you mean?”
“If I don’t take the prize money I’m going to lose Chez Flambé. Look, I don’t want this man to die.” Neil pointed at Kong.
Nori smiled. “You are stupid enough to sacrifice that for this useless dying man?”
Neil nodded. “Kong will live. I will see the ocean floor, but I will have nothing left in my life except pain and loss.”
Even the judges smiled at this thought.
Nori walked over to Neil. “It’s a deal. BUT, if the judges don’t choose you, then you get to see the ocean floor, without a submarine, if you get my meaning.”
Neil felt a shiver but nodded. “Deal.”
All eyes turned to the judges.
The first two flipped over their cards. Both votes were for Neil. Neil breathed a sigh of relief. The next two flipped their cards. Both votes were for . . . KONG?
“What? That’s impossible!” Neil yelled.
The judge with the toupee smirked. “We enjoyed the omelet you prepared, but where was the thrill? Kong’s omelets were far more dangerous.”
“They were certainly a choking hazard,” Neil said.
“And unlike you, Kong didn’t wear gloves,” the other judge added.
Nori was thrilled. “Oh, but this is too wonderful!” he said, dancing and pointing a finger into Neil’s chest.
There was only one vote left—the emaciated fifth judge. Neil’s heart started pumping faster than the motor of Nori’s hovercar. The crowd was absolutely silent. Neil could hear the sound of all the eyeballs turning to watch the emaciated judge.
Neil stared at him as well. The man sat perfectly still. Is he dead? Neil wondered. Everyone waited for the man to flip his scorecard. The silence was broken by a low, scratching noise. It was coming from the man. Neil listened. The man was laughing!
“Oh, no,” Neil thought. He’s going to destroy me! He started looking for any kind of exit and took a step backward toward the kitchen and his knives.
The man seemed to take forever to flip the card, using a bony finger to lift it up and over the top of its board. It seemed to turn and then fall in slow motion, and as it turned everyone clearly saw the name Neil Flambé.
Neil gave the loudest whoop! of his life. He was so relieved that he actually jumped into the air pumping his fists.
The crowd went crazy.
Nori’s face fell. He stood in shocked silence.
The two judges who’d voted for Kong shook their heads in disappointment. “Why did you pick the boy?” the lava woman said.
The man chuckled, his whole body shaking with the effort. “I liked his food better. And to be cruel, to cause the most pain, it made sense for me to pick the boy.” He looked straight at Nori and began laughing harder and harder, his breath getting raspier by the second.
Nori looked at him and shook his head. “Father. How could you?”
