“Control your emotions or they will control you”
September 1st, 1966: 4 AM
Suk Hing spent the next day gathering her strength and forcing the mounting worries from her mind, mentally preparing herself for the journey, which was to begin the following morning. When the morning arrived, she was ready. As before, she would carry with her the deflated soccer ball bladders, but Bui’s family had also provided a twenty-five foot rope, which could be useful given the mountainous terrain. More than this, though, Suk Hing was ready to face whatever adversity arose with determination, and would let nothing stand in her way. This was her last shot, and if it didn’t work she would die trying rather than rot in jail for the rest of her days.
She and Bui were having one last meal when Lum Jong arrived at the house at half-past four in the afternoon. He had already eaten so declined the invitation to join them. Before it was time to leave, Suk Hing once again left any money she had with Bui’s mother and they parted with tears in their eyes and wishes of good luck. Like last time, they left on bikes driven by family members. Lum Jong and Bui rode with their respective brothers, while Suk Hing travelled with Bui’s sister. They left shortly after dinner; Suk Hing estimated the time to be around six p.m.
As they cycled along secluded gravel trails and winding back roads and the mountains rose nebulously on either side of the anxious travellers, Suk Hing began to lose her bearings. Within the mounting gloom, she could no longer track the direction in they were moving, or for how long they had been travelling. Bui’s brother and sister cycled side by side, so she could just make out Bui in the dark. When a sliver of moonlight managed to creep over the shadow of the mountains Suk Hing could see that he was trembling. Her heart sank; if Bui was this terrified already, it was possible that he could be a real liability on the journey ahead. He had to toughen up if he was to survive this. She was the only one who had made it as far as the water before. She knew exactly how panic and fear could overtake you in the icy darkness. If he panicked, there was little hope of survival.
“Any idea what time it is?” she asked him, hoping to distract him from whatever fears were running through his mind.
He glanced at her then pulled out an ornate pocket watch, opening it up to squint at the face in the half-light.
“That’s a pretty watch.”
“Yes, it’s a family heirloom. It’s about nine-thirty p.m.”
They had been cycling for three and a half hours. She didn’t ask Bui what he was going to do with watch when they reached the water; he seemed worried enough already.
Half an hour later, Lum Jong indicated they were approaching the departure point and that they should be ready to jump. Still disoriented from the sinuous mountain paths, Suk Hing had no idea how Lum Jong knew where they were, but she tensed herself for the imminent leap regardless. The bikes slowed a little and the three sprung off, running to the bushes at the side of the road and taking cover there. They watched the bikes immediately turn round and head back in the direction they had come, none of the cyclists even glancing at the bushes as they passed. They lay there in silence, waiting for about ten minutes to ensure everything was quiet, and giving the cyclists enough time to get out of the area. Once they were certain nothing was amiss and they’d had time to get their bearings, the three cautiously emerged from their cover and began to walk in single file along the edge of the road.
They hadn’t been walking long when a sound reached Bui’s ears and he stopped dead in his tracks.
“Someone’s coming,” he hissed. “Hide!”
The three dived back into the bushes, and listened hard to the night, but nothing stirred. They crept back out to the road and continued on. The walk along the shadowy road was already tense, but Bui’s jumpiness had seemed to infect them all, and several more times they had to scramble for cover when one of them thought they heard someone approaching. Each time it turned out to be nothing and they would cautiously re-emerge to continue on, feeling a little foolish.
They walked that way for two hours, the tension causing their muscles to ache. Bui and Suk Hing both jumped when Lum Jong suddenly held out a hand to halt them.
“We’re coming up to the first border,” he hissed to them. “We have to go around the village.”
Suk Hing stared into the darkness ahead. She couldn’t see any lights or other signs to indicate that they were coming upon a settlement, but she put her doubts aside and trusted Lum Jong. After all, he was the one who supposedly knew the area and he seemed confident of their whereabouts. He moved off to the left and Suk Hing and Bui followed blindly. They were moving stealthily through the bushes when the sound of laughter reached their ears.
Suk Hing stopped and listened carefully. It sounded like a large group of children playing. The three of them held position, waiting and hoping that the children would pass by. As the voices and laughter grew louder, they realized that the children were heading in their direction, and they were right in their path. If the children spotted them, there was no doubt they would call out and perhaps fetch an adult. The three of them looked at each other, the same anxiety reflected back at them from each face. They nodded to each other and scrambled, searching for better cover away from the path of the advancing group.
Suk Hing grabbed Bui and pulled her with him, knowing that his fear meant he was the greatest danger to them all. In the rapidly fading twilight, Suk Hing glimpsed a small ditch at the side of the road, which looked to be about three or four foot deep. It was their best shot. She jumped in and pulled Bui with her. Her feet splashed into ankle-deep water and Suk Hing held her breath, wondering if the sound would have been heard over the voices of the children. She couldn’t hear any cries of surprise, only muffled chatter. A noise above startled her, but as she peered over the top of the ditch, she realized it was only Lum Jong trying to find a place to hide. Suk Hing watched as he lay on the ground, covering himself in the leaves of a sweet potato bush that grew along the edge of the ditch.
As they all went silent, Suk Hing realized she could hear the water lapping and splashing nearby. She whirled round to locate the source of the noise, exasperated when she found it was Bui; he was shaking so violently in that few inches of ditch water in which he crouched was undulating and splashing against him. She scolded him, quietly telling him they were only children and to pull himself together. She gripped him firmly, trying to hold him steady, not really comfortable with touching him but having no choice.
“It’s probably just kids being let out from a night school, Bui, stop it. They won’t see us, but if you don’t calm down, they might hear us.”
Bui did his best to relax his muscles, but it still took most of Suk Hing’s strength to keep him as steady as possible. Finally, the voices moved away, and the night was quiet once more, save for the tiny rustlings and distant calls of nocturnal animals. Suk Hing climbed from the ditch and pulled Bui out after her. She made her way over to Lum Jong and helped him remove the spade-shaped sweet potato leaves as quietly as possible. Once they were all on their feet they resumed their journey, making a large circle around the village. It added distance and time to their journey, but it was their only option. Suk Hing had to tread lightly, her wet shoes making a squelching sound as she walked. She hoped they would dry soon, as it was adding to the discomfort of the long walk.
Soon the terrain changed. Having reached the foot of the first mountain, the party found themselves traversing a steep incline. As they climbed, the path beneath their feet became rockier and more uneven, the loose stones underfoot posing new dangers. Suk Hing was glad of the moonlight, its bare silver gleam offering slight but necessary guidance as the trail narrowed and all but dissolved among spills of limestone slag. They climbed single file throughout the night.
Around six a.m., the sun began to rise, and the party greeted the dim red glow emanating from behind the mountaintops with mixed feelings. The high altitude meant it was very windy and they were freezing, and the constant movement was the only thing that had kept their body temperatures at safe levels during the long, dark hours. They each welcomed the coming heat, but not its light, for while the sun would provide much-needed warmth, its arrival also meant that they would be highly visible. There was practically no cover this far up, the sparse vegetation limited to the odd clump of scrub and the occasional gaunt tree. In the dawn’s emergent light the surrounding area looked barren and hostile.
“We need to find somewhere to hide and to rest while we can.”
The two boys agreed, and they began their search before the sun had fully risen. Suk Hing found a cavity welled into the side of the mountain, around six feet wide by eight feet long, and approximately four feet deep. She shivered as she looked into it. It looked man-made and made her think of a grave. She dismissed the possibility of hiding in such a place as far too disturbing, but after searching for another ten minutes and finding nothing, she had to concede that there was little choice. She pointed it out to the boys and they congratulated her on her find, not seeing what she saw as she stared back into the condensed void of the grave-shaped trench. They jumped in without hesitation and Suk Hing had no choice but to follow. She reluctantly jumped in, her skin crawling.
Once they had determined they could all fit comfortably, they climbed out again and broke some of the tiny, one-foot high trees, carrying them over to the hole. Once back inside, they used the trees to cover themselves, hoping they would provide enough seclusion no matter what occurred through the daylight hours. They decided one should stay awake to act as a lookout while the others slept, so Suk Hing volunteered to take the first shift.
Lying awake, listening out while the boys slept, her imagination began to run wild. Being all but entombed in the grave-like hole felt like an omen, and Suk Hing wondered if this mountain would be the place of her demise. Would she be spotted by soldiers, shot on the spot? Would she die from exposure or lack of food, or would she slip and fall on the mountain, injuring herself so badly she couldn’t continue, forcing the others to leave her behind to her fate, ending up food for some ravenous mountain bird or beast of prey? Feeling the panic caused by the rising claustrophobia, Suk Hing gave herself a firm mental shake. She couldn’t let any of that happen. She just had to make it. She tried to turn her thoughts to happier times as she left the boys to sleep for as long as she could. As she began to feel her head grow heavy and her eyelids begin to droop, she woke Bui to take the next watch, curling up into a ball and hoping she didn’t have nightmares as she slept.
She was awoken just as the sun began to set. The orange glow was fading fast from the sky, and the three watched in silence until it had disappeared completely below the horizon. In the dusk, they freed themselves from the trees and climbed out of their hiding place. Suk Hing had never been so relieved and was anxious to start walking, putting the horrible thoughts created by the hideous space far behind her. In the moonlight they managed to hit upon the trail, and they followed this through the night, climbing and descending as they followed the rise and fall of the mountain range. She had no idea how far they had travelled, or how many villages nestled in the foothills they had passed, moving like ghosts in the night high above them as the residents slept peacefully in their beds, warm under the covers.
Suddenly, something caught Suk Hing’s eye to her left. She slowly turned her head, almost afraid to look. She could make out a tiny amber glow in the darkness, which would occasionally flare brighter. She caught the other’s arms, indicating they should stop and be silent. Staring intently in the direction of the light, she willed her eyes to adjust until she could make out the shape of a man in the moonlight. It looked like he was lying on his back, staring up at the night sky as he smoked a cigarette. They were close enough that she could smell the tobacco smoke. The three looked at each other with panic in their eyes. She kept a tight hold of Bui, afraid he would flee, making enough noise to alert the man. There wasn’t much reason for anybody to be this high up in the mountains at this time. He might be like them, but if he was, he was being very careless with the cigarette being so easily visible. Suk Hing thought the only explanation was that he was a soldier patrolling the mountaintop, perhaps taking a break, perhaps not really expecting to encounter anyone in this lonely duty. If he was a soldier, he obviously hadn’t spotted them or he would have reacted by now.
“I think he’s a soldier,” she murmured to the others.
“You’re not allowed to smoke in the army,” Bui whispered back. “Maybe he’s just some random guy.”
“Random or not, he’s a danger to us. Let’s hope he is a soldier who isn’t supposed to be smoking, it might give us something to bargain with if we have to, but we’d be better shutting up and trying to sneak past without him seeing us.”
Suk Hing motioned for them to move forward. They crept away as slowly and stealthily as they could, hoping the man was too lost in his thoughts to be paying much attention to his surroundings. They moved their feet carefully, trying not to dislodge any loose stones that might skitter and clatter across the path.
A grassy expanse appeared to Suk Hing’s right, the naturally occurring meadow materializing before them like a desert oasis within the barren mountain waste. They made for it, moving faster and more confidently as the ground underfoot softened. They lay down at the edge of the field, hoping the man would eventually move off in the opposite direction. They waited for some time, but heard and saw nothing. Perhaps he was a stationary guard, assigned to that particular area, or maybe he was too lazy to carry out his duties the way he was supposed to. Suk Hing and Lum Jong shared a silent look: they couldn’t lie here and waste the entire night. They had to take a chance, and move.
The two of them rose and motioned to Bui to follow, hoping they had come far enough beyond the man that they were out of his vision and hearing, even if he hadn’t moved off. He might have come in this direction, but they couldn’t hear anything so had to assume he was still in the same place or had gone the other way. Bui was shaking so much he could barely stand, let alone walk. In the moonlight his face had taken an ashen cast. His eyes, dark and wide as jet saucers, radiated with uncontained panic. He looked at Suk Hing pleadingly, and she understood that he was having serious second thoughts. As she helped him to his feet and gave him a shoulder to lean on until his rubbery legs could move, she wondered how far he had made it the first time he had tried, and how he had screwed up enough courage to even make the attempt in the first place. She knew that he was brave as he had helped shelter her the first time and had taken her to the mountains, and he had survived his time in prison and whatever humiliation the government had heaped upon him. She had to consider that perhaps Bui knew more of what happened to second-time escapees when they were caught than she did. It was the only thing that could account for his lack of courage now. She didn’t dare probe him; it was better not to know. With Lum Jong supporting Bui from the other side, they managed to move back onto the trail. Bui’s anxiety subsided as they further they moved from the area, and after a short time he was once again able to walk on his own.
It was just as well, as they soon reached another incline, steep and treacherous.
“Perhaps we should go around, this looks too difficult to climb without any equipment,” Bui suggested. “Going around would take us at least six hours,” Lum Jong replied. “Going up and along will be much faster. Besides, if we go around we’ll be too close to the villages in the valleys. I don’t think we have any option but to climb and hope for the best.”
It was more of a scramble than a climb as they tried to navigate the rocky mountainside. Suk Hing slipped several times, managing to find handholds to cling to until she had regained her footing. After climbing for what felt like hours, Suk Hing finally crested a broad mesa. She didn’t know how the other two had fared on the climb as she had been too intent on not falling to notice, but they were both with her as she straightened up on the apex, relieved they had each managed to survive the ordeal. They moved on, following a narrow spoor across the plateau in the dark, and paying no heed to their throbbing feet and aching legs.
“I think we should stop for the night,” Lum Jong said. “If we carry on, we will arrive close to the third border in the daylight. We want to avoid that at all costs. We won’t make it in time tonight so we should stop here, then move tomorrow night while we have hours of darkness left. Besides, there is always a shift change at seven a.m. and that’s when most of the army will be moving about and walking to different points. We should hide before that begins. Since we have Bui’s watch we can keep an eye on the time as we hunt for a good place.”
It seemed like a sensible suggestion and Suk Hing knew she would be glad of the rest after the gruelling climb. The three began to search for a good hiding spot to keep them safe through the day. It wasn’t long before Bui discovered a strange-looking bore in the mountainside, just large enough for someone to crawl through. Bui didn’t dare investigate the inside on his own.
“I’ll go,” Suk Hing volunteered.
“No, I’ll go,” Lum Jong said. “I’m the one that might not fit, so I might as well find out, as well as see what’s inside.”
Suk Hing waited anxiously with Bui as Lum Jong tried to wedge his stocky body through the narrow mouth of the burrow. Bui clutched her hand as Lum Jong disappeared from view. Once again, she felt uncomfortable with the intimacy, but under the circumstances she decided to allow it. They both breathed a sigh of relief as Lum Jong’s face appeared back at the entrance.
“Must be a den of some sort, but nobody’s home,” he said, his joke falling flat. “I don’t think anything has lived in here for a while so it should be safe enough. I think we’ll all fit, although it’s going to be tight. It’s probably the best we’re going to find.”
“Okay then, Bui, you go next.”
He made his way into the hole, happy now that they were taking cover. Suk Hing followed. “Tight” had been an understatement. There wasn’t enough headroom to properly sit, and the interior wasn’t wide enough for the three of them to lie down except in the fetal position, on their sides with their heads bent down and their knees tucked tightly up to their chests. It was comfortable enough for the first half hour, but after that, they all longed to be able to stretch out as well as escape the lingering musk of whatever derelict mountain fox or cat once sheltered there. However, they were safe and secluded, and could rest without worry of being discovered. They forced themselves to lie there until they all fell asleep.
They awoke several times throughout the day, but didn’t dare break cover to stretch their limbs. They could hear the dull whir of planes passing overhead, probably air patrols to watch the mountains, adding to the efficiency of the foot soldiers. Huddled and rigid, they stayed within, hoping to be able to go back to sleep until finally twilight arrived.
Dusk was as welcome as the dawn had been the morning before. Cramps and aches tore through Suk Hing’s body as she scrabbled back through the cave mouth and onto mountainside. The others, equally atrophied from the day-long sequester, crawled painfully out after her. The three of them lay there on the ground vigorously massaging their arms and legs, trying to get their bodies to comply. It took almost an hour before the cramps in their limbs would subside and their muscles would move fluidly enough that they could resume their journey.
They walked for another two hours or so, Suk Hing experiencing threatening twinges and jerks in several muscles, but the cramps stayed at bay, allowing her to keep up a brisk pace. The trail took them to the very edge of a precipice. Standing precariously at the edge of the cliff face, Suk Hing peered into the near dark and caught a familiar sight. Far below stretched a grassy plain approximately three-hundred meters in length. The vegetation had been cut down, so the expanse was nearly bare. To the east, the sea crashed in a regular rhythm of breaking waves. Despite not having a plan, despite not having any sense of distance and direction, despite placing her trust in a man she barely knew, Suk Hing had once again reached the third, and most dangerous, border.