“Writing cannot express all words, words cannot encompass all ideas”
April 1971
Suk Hing carried on, working hard but thinking of nothing else of Gai and the possibility of travelling to a country that was truly foreign to everything she had known. One morning, she awoke and just knew. The time for hesitation and logical thinking was over; she needed to follow her heart. With renewed determination, she contacted Gai and excitedly told him that she would be honored to be his wife, and would gladly come to Canada to join him there. Their excitement and delight practically buzzed over the crackling telephone line.
It only took a day or so for Gai to get back in touch with her. He had made all the travel arrangements and she was to begin her journey to Alberta, Canada within the next few days. They spoke every day until that point, talking of their hopes and dreams for the future, how they would spend their lives together, where they would live, how they would raise their family in the future.
A few days before she was due to set out, Suk Hing received something special, something she would treasure forever. She carried it with her everywhere she went as she tied up all the loose ends in Hong Kong and said tearful goodbyes to the extended family she had rediscovered there.
Sitting alone on the long but thrilling journey to this new Promised Land and her brand new life of love and happiness, Suk Hing put her hand deep into her pocket. Her fingers found the familiar shape of Bui’s pocket watch, which she had carried with her ever since their arrival in Macau. She held it for a moment and whispered something else half forgotten from her childhood:
“I let go of what I am, so I can become what I might be.”
Letting the watch go, she rummaged further in her pocket and located the precise item she was looking for. She had handled it so much already; the paper was creased and dog-eared. The shakily scrawled Chinese characters swam in front of Suk Hing’s eyes, the poorness of the writing an indication of how sick her mother had become since she had left her. Rubbing the tears away in order to focus and drying her wet hand on her clothing before grasping the sheets tightly, she read the words for the hundredth time.
My Dearest Little One
I was delighted to receive your letter and hear all about what had become of you and the family. It does this old, tired heart good to know that you are all well.
I want to tell you that I always understood your actions and supported everything you did. Do not worry about me or any of the hardships you think you caused me; I would have gladly suffered much more to ensure the happiness of my daughter.
It brings me joy to hear that your life has been good since you reached Macau, and that there is hope, despite these dark times. I am glad you have found a good man. Although I want to tell you not to rely on anyone but yourself for your own happiness, I know that you will make the decision that is right for you.
I want you to go. I hope that this reaches you before you embark on your next adventure, and when you set foot on to the new land, you don’t look back. You go and make a better life for yourself. When you get there, you work hard and don’t rely on anyone for charity. Do not forget your past, but do not let it haunt you. Never use your past as an excuse so that the evils that you have endured may not be in vain.
I am proud of you, and all that you have achieved in your life. Continue to bring me joy and pride by having a good life, always working hard, and being a good wife and mother to your new family.
It is peaceful here now.