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June 21, 2013
Sonia arrived in the morning bursting with energy and radiating positively with joy. She didn’t know being at her dream job would make her feel this happy.
Until it came time for lunch.
Carrying an insulated lunch bag into the cafeteria, Sonia nervously twisted the strap between her fingers, her eyes darting uselessly around the nearly empty room. It felt like the first day of school again, and she couldn’t shake the feeling of failing some unspoken “coolness test”. Despite the gleaming counter showcasing salads, hot meals, and a wide variety of soups, the room seemed hollow and cavernous.
Before coming to work, Sonia didn’t realize there was a cafeteria that served meals, so she felt dumb for bringing her own lunch. When she realized how unoccupied the room was, she felt foolish. She had watched people leave their desks throughout the morning and return with a tray. She chastised herself for not realizing people were eating at their desks. The room felt hollow, echoing her own uncertainty. Her stomach tightened as worry prickled the back of her neck.
There were two men who were huddled at a table with folders, computers, and an actual calculator that printed noisily on paper. The men paid no attention to Sonia when she entered the room. All their attention was on the work they had spread between them, while their trays of sandwiches and soups sat undisturbed.
Only one other table was occupied. A young man sat alone with his back to her. Sonia walked to his table, where she could see that his hunter green shirt looked familiar. And his scent of too much Drakkar Noir — a spicy combination of juniper, jasmine, pine and leather — was even more familiar. This man worked in her department.
“Mind if I join you? My name is Sonia.”
“You’re the new hire. I’m Jeremy. Sure, have a seat.”
As Sonia pulled out a chair to join Jeremy, she could see he had a large square of white blotting out the green from the front of his shirt. “So, where is everybody?”
Jeremy stirred his soup as he nodded. “You noticed I’m pretty much alone, huh?”
Sonia noticed his nodding, and nodded in response, her curiosity growing. “Kind of hard to miss.”
Jeremy sighed. “Yeah, it’s kind of a thing here to eat at your desk. Most people do it so they can get more work done. At least, that’s what I’ve heard. When I started here eightteen months ago, several people ate here. It’s down to just me, mostly. And the bean counters over there when they are working on something.”
“Ah,” Sonia replied. She opened her lunchbox, arranging its contents with practiced ease for a mess-free meal.
Sonia listened to Jeremy slurping his soup for a few minutes until he broke the silence. “I’m glad you’re here in the cafeteria.”
“Me too. I know I can’t eat at my desk. I would really make a mess of things.”
Jeremy was slurping his soup when his spoon clattered noisily to the table. He sighed. “I’ve got Dystonia; it makes my hands shake and flail sometimes. I love tomato soup, but as you can see, eating it can be very hazardous for me. And anyone near me.”
“Oh, my goodness.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s why I lost the group I used to eat with. A tomato soup incident, that you can imagine didn’t go well.”
Sonia felt her stomach cramp as she considered what she might say. “Well, I’m blind and I drop food on myself all the time, but I don’t always know it.”
Jeremy was very still for a moment. “You know, we could make good lunch buddies. We can eat together, and I can check you over to make sure you aren’t wearing any lunch.”
“You’d do that?”
“Absolutely!”
Sonia felt the muscles in her stomach unclench for the first time that day. She had made a friend.
“Then we are lunch buddies,” she said.
Jeremy and Sonia ate their lunch together, happily chatting. Sonia learned that Jeremy also attended William and was surprised to be recruited by Lawrence Fashion after he graduated.
“Did you volunteer at one of his fashion shows?” Sonia held her breath waiting for his answer.
“Yes! How did you know?” Jeremy’s voice was full of surprise.
“Me too, I was a volunteer.”
“Wow, what a coincidence.”
How strange, she thought. I wonder what it could mean?
Jeremy dropped his spoon two more times during lunch. After eating, he wiped his hands and the table with the towel he had tucked at his neck.
“You ought to think about putting your soup in a thermos so you can just pick it up and drink it.”
Jeremy paused, wiping at the table. “You know, that might work. I’ve got a thermos with a good handle and a spout I can drink from. I’ll have to try that. Thanks for the idea.”
Looks like Dani isn’t the only one who can come up with creative solutions.
Jeremy and Sonia ate together from then on, getting to know one another and helping each other when they had mishaps at lunch. Jeremy helped Sonia when she dropped her silverware on the floor and couldn’t find it, he checked her over each day before they returned to work, and Sonia helped Jeremy be more confident in himself.
Sonia was certain she and Jeremy were really becoming good friends. Until they returned to their desks after eating together for two weeks. Lawrence was hovering around Sonia’s desk. Jeremy had been telling Sonia a funny tale from his childhood, but when he saw Lawrence, he fell silent.
“There you are, just the woman I’ve been looking for,” Lawrence said.
“Uh, hello, sir.”
“Sir?” Lawrence laughed loudly. “Just call me Lawrence.”
“Do you need something... Lawrence?” Sonia asked.
“I was just coming to check on you and see how your first weeks have been.”
“Uh, everything is fine.”
“Good, good. I want to have happy employees, you know.” Lawrence reached down to the desk and presented Sonia with a single carnation in a vase. Sonia had to pull the carnation close to her face to really see it, and its peppery fragrance was strangely weak. She felt a mixture of surprise and discomfort, wondering what the motive was behind the gesture. The flower’s faint scent only added to her confusion.
“I got this for you,” Lawrence said.
Sonia tried to swallow, but her mouth had gone strangely dry.
Lawrence pounded Jeremy on the back and then strode away without another word.
“What was that about?” Jeremy asked. Sonia noticed his voice sounded tight and high pitched.
“I have no idea.”
“So, you like carnations, huh?”
“Not really.”
“Okay, well, I have to get to work.”
Sonia could tell something had changed; Jeremy sounded cold and distant.
“Wait, is something wrong?” she asked.
“Why would something be wrong? You’ve got the boss bringing you flowers and checking in on you. Sounds like everything is great for you.”
“He brought me one flower and it doesn’t even seem very fresh, at that.”
“Yeah, it is brown around the edges.” Jeremy then took a step back and gasped. “Do you think he, like, has a thing for you?”
“A thing?”
“Like a crush?”
“I highly doubt Lawrence has a crush on me.”
“So why the flowers? I mean, flower.”
Sonia shook her head. “I’ve heard people around the office say he’s ‘eccentric’, so maybe this is one of his eccentricities?”
Jeremy paused. “Maybe.”
“Okay, well, see you at lunch tomorrow.” Sonia tried to sound as chipper as she could.
“Oh... yeah.” Jeremy turned and walked away. Sonia could hear his feet drag on the carpet.
Is Jeremy jealous I got an old brown carnation?
Then another thought made Sonia freeze in her tracks. What does the carnation mean? People said Lawrence was a little strange, but certainly the carnation means something. Sonia felt her heart hammer in her chest, wondering what Lawrence’s odd behavior was all about.
Sonia went to the ladies’ room to wash up before returning to work, and picked the last stall, since it was a large handicapped accessible stall with a sink inside the stall. She hung her lunch bag on the hook on the door and laid the single carnation on top of the toilet paper holder. She felt like her knees were trembling and gladly sat down on the toilet to get her breath.
As she sat there, she heard women enter the bathroom, chatting all the while.
“I heard he had someone picked for the job, pulled her from the volunteers at the fashion show from a few years back.”
Sonia froze when she realized the two women were talking about her.
The second woman snorted. “What could she possibly have that we need?”
“I think you’d be interested to know she’s blind. I think that’s a pretty big distraction, don’t you?”
“Huh? Might just do the trick.”
The women stopped talking and Sonia could hear two stall doors shut and the women go about their business. Sonia tried hard not to even breathe so they wouldn’t be aware of her in the bathroom. She heard the toilets flush, and the women met again at the sinks and continued to talk.
“What did Rachel say about her?”
“Rachel saw her in action, from what I’ve heard, and said she actually could be helpful. I mean, in PR.”
The second woman laughed. “More useful than the last one, I hope.”
“We shall see. The blind angle might just be a great cover.”
“Well, either she is going to be a giant screw-up that we could pin something to, or she is a dew-eyed Bambi that can be easily manipulated. Either way, I think we can breathe easy for a while.”
“Score for HR, huh?”
“Big time.”
The women washed and dried their hands. They left the bathroom, continuing their conversation, but Sonia couldn’t make out their words as they left the bathroom and walked away.
Sonia could feel air whoosh out of her lungs; she must have been holding her breath the whole time as the women talked at the sink. Was she just hired to be a distraction? What needed a distraction? At least the PR Coordinator said she could be useful.
Sonia felt the joy and happiness that had bubbled inside her at starting her dream job burst and evaporate. She felt dry, empty, and hot inside, like someone had burned her insides. This feeling made her wonder if she was doomed to go down in flames. Her breath caught in her throat. She could almost see her spectacular destruction unfold in front of her. Why was I hired? Am I any good at my job? Was I hired as a distraction?