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Abigail
Looking from Clayton to Vic, I just drop my head. I know I’ve messed up and I have no idea how to fix it. I’m not choosing one over the other. Each one gives me something different. Clayton understands my life and all the shit I deal with on the daily. Vic has always been my secretive but strong shoulder.
“Abigail?” Clayton asks in question just as Vic squats in front of me.
“Abi?” Vic murmurs.
Vic’s hand is on my knee and Clayton’s just placed his hand over mine. Shockwaves from both spots are pulsing through me.
“You’re touching me,” I whisper, never raising my head.
Clayton moves his hand away from mine. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t even know where to begin.” I know I sound defeated.
“How about the beginning and why you’re wearing a jacket for another school?” Vic suggests.
“Well, the jacket’s mine. She needed a coat,” Clayton mutters to Vic.
“Of course, you’d give her your coat. You just keep picking up after me. JESUS!” Vic’s voice starts low but rises with each word.
This automatically makes me pull away from him. Anytime someone raises their voice to me, I get hit. I sit my guitar beside me and pull my legs to my chest. Wrapping my arms around myself, I drop my head to my knees.
“You know what, man? I think you need to bring it down a notch. It’s just a coat and Abigail is obviously very upset about something. I mean, man look at her.” Clayton sounds worried but doesn’t lose his charm.
It’s quiet for a moment and I’m going to assume they are having a pissing contest because I know they haven’t moved. I can feel the heat coming off both of them. I can smell Clayton’s city scent and Vic’s more earthy one.
One of them decides to touch my arm and I’m betting it's Vic. Vic’s hands are smaller than Clayton’s.
“Baby Girl, you need to talk to me and tell me what’s going on.”
“I told you... I don’t know where to start, Vic.” I finally look up and my eyes connect with Vic’s, then Clayton’s. “I’m so confused and I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know how to fix what I already messed up.” My eyes keep bouncing from one to the other.
“Messed up what? What are you talking about?” Clayton’s eyes don’t leave mine.
“You and me.” I toss my hand between the two of us. “Me and Vic,” I toss my hand between Vic and myself. “It’s all messed up.”
“We’re fine.”
“If you think that, you’re as delusional as I am.”
Clayton laughs at me. “We’ve spent the entire week getting to know each other. I thought things were going swell.”
I hear a growl come from Vic and my eyes move to him just as quick. Vic’s nose is flaring and he’s just about got steam coming out of his ears.
“Before you go all caveman and try to throw me over your shoulder, will you at least listen to what I have to say?”
Clayton shifts himself and is straddling the bench beside me. Vic is still in front of me.
“Okay, so I’ve kind of been spending time with both of you. I’m having lunch with you,” I glance at Clayton, “and having dinner with you,” look down at Vic. “I don’t want to lose either one of you, and I can’t choose either.” I turn back to Clayton. “I’ve never been in this situation before and I have no idea where to go from here.” My eyes move to Vic’s. “I can’t do the screaming, yelling, and arguing all the time.” Then back to Clayton. “I don’t like to be touched by most, but you touch me and I’m okay with it for the most part.” I shake my head. “Oh, none of this makes any sense and like I said, I don’t know where we go from here. So, I guess it depends on the both of you...” With a shrug of my shoulders, I wait to see who will speak first.
I look at Clayton and he’s got that cocky as ever grin on his face, but when my eyes meet Vic’s, I can tell he has a war going on.
“What’s to choose? We’ve been hanging out, and you two have been hanging out. I don’t give a shit what you got goin’ on there, all I care about is what’s goin’ on here.” Clayton points his fingers between us. “We’ve been going pretty good gettin’ to know each other, no stoppin’ it now.”
“Wait, you want her to date both of us? Like what, we split her down the middle? You get her at school and I get her out of school? Fuck that! We need a better arrangement if I have to share her. I think we should have terms,” Vic grumbles.
“Terms? What are we, five? I wasn’t aware dating was an option. If it is, then that’s her call, not yours... Terms... Sheesh,” Clayton responds to Vic, incredulously.
I just look between them. I don’t know what the hell to say. Maybe some rules wouldn’t be a bad idea.
“Well, you sure didn’t come up with any grand ideas,” Vic retorts. “We both want her attention and apparently, we are going to be sharing it with one another. I don’t know about you, but I’d really like to know my place. Is it just you and I or will she be adding others too? Does one of us get full benefits and the other partial? This is so fucking confusing!”
“STOP! JUST STOP! This isn’t a pissing contest. I’m not a prize!”
“Thank you!” Clayton shouts
“Vic, I get you don’t think before you speak, and you’ve always been like that. Which just happens to be the only reason I’m not flipping my shit at this moment.” I turn to Clayton, , “As for your ‘we’re just friends’ thing, you’re delusional. Friends don’t get to just touch me unless they are Wayde and Adam and there’s a reason for that. I also don’t just stop work to eat with ‘friends.'”
Hearing Vic chuckle puts him back on my radar and I turn to him, threatening, “You ever compare me to my mother again and you will never have to worry about benefits. Got it?” Taking a deep breath, I stand and push Vic into my spot on the bench so I can see both of them at once. Clayton turns to face me and I lay it out. “This is the twenty-first freaking century. Grow up. This is new for me, just as I’m going to assume it is for both of you. Now you can either keep the bickering up and play the pissing contest, or you can stop. Either way, you need to decide. If you don’t stop, you need to find someone else because I’m not doing it.” I grab my guitar and walk away, leaving them sitting there watching me go.
