“God, it’s good to be home. Thanks for picking me up.” Cat folded Eliza into a giant hug.
“Thanks for everything, Lizzie.”
When Cat didn’t release her right away, Eliza gave an uncomfortable giggle. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. But I think I’m going to have to write that Grayson test now.”
Eliza reared back, studying Cat’s face. “Really?”
“Yeah. I’ll tell you about it on the way home.”
The two headed out the airport entrance to Eliza’s car. Along the way, Cat told her all about her date with William, her mother ... and about the email she’d written long ago.
Eliza took it all in stride—a far cry from Cat’s reaction. Even now, in relating the details, the whole thing felt surreal, as if she were watching a movie, a film of someone else’s life. She wished she could skip to the ending, to find out how it all turned out. Was she in a romantic comedy or a horror flick?
Eliza gave her a knowing grin. “Told you so.” Another street or two passed. “I still want my Darcy. In a story to outdo that Nicholas one, baby.”
“It could all still be coincidence. Or, as you yourself, suggested, that Law of Attraction sort of thing. Marie agreed.” A scoffing noise was her only answer.
Later that evening, Eliza wandered into the living room to find Cat sitting on the sofa, bent over her laptop, staring at the screen. “Whatcha doing?”
Cat jumped, startled by the interruption. “Geez, you scared me.”
“Who else do you think is running around in this apartment?”
“It’s not that. I was just lost in this story. I’m trying to figure out what details to add about Grayson. I gave him a sister named Amaryllis. Isn’t that a ridiculous name? She’s a fashion model who’s into insects—as in, she wants to be an entomologist.”
Eliza wrinkled up her nose. “Bugs?”
Cat grinned. “I know. But there will be no mistaking it if Gray shows up with a bug-loving, twiggy sister named after a flower, right? And as ludicrous as that all sounds, I feel even more ludicrous for believing for a second this could be real. I feel idiotic for trying. It just can’t be real. It can’t.” The grin left her face.
“That you created him?”
Cat rolled her eyes. “What else would I be talking about? Of course that.”
“Sorry,” Eliza said with a shrug. “I think it is real. And I think it’d be awesome to have such power.”
Cat set the laptop aside for a minute. “But what of the potential repercussions?”
“What repercussions?” Eliza flopped down on the sofa next to her friend. “You get to create your own reality. You can have the Perfect Man you’ve always dreamed of. You can fix all your problems. Sounds ideal to me.”
“Does it? Does it truly? I mean, I know everybody thinks they want the easy life, but ...” Cat’s fingers rubbed the keyboard. “It’s been my fantasy for six years, or, if I’m honest with myself, even longer—at least since my dad died—to have the fairytale story that felt like it was ripped away from me.”
“Um, Cat?” Eliza interjected. “Ryan was no fairytale hero.”
“I know that now. I probably knew that then. I just wanted to believe so badly, to believe the stories in the books could be true, instead of the misery and suffering I see all around me. The misery and suffering you and I’ve both gone through.” She ran her fingers through her hair, squeezing her eyes shut as if she could block it all out. “But I couldn’t believe. Not anymore. I shut it all away. The pain. The longing. The hope.”
After a moment, she opened her eyes and smiled at Eliza fondly. “So, yeah, it seems ideal to have everything just the way you want it, to be able to stop worrying about things so much. And yet, I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right to have everything handed to me the way it has been in the last month. It doesn’t feel real, and I’m not sure it could ever feel real, could it?”
Eliza nodded, saying nothing. She grabbed Cat’s hand and squeezed it.
With her other hand, Cat took a sip of the tea from the mug she had resting on the side table. “Maybe my mom is right,” she continued, “and character-building experiences are what give meaning to our lives. You can’t have a character-building experience without some struggle, without some challenge, right? Of course, whenever Mom tells me that when I’m in the middle of something crappy, I want to tell her to kiss off, but still.”
“Excuse me, did you really just say a ‘character-building experience?’” Eliza exclaimed with a laugh. “Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now? Building characters?” She gestured at the laptop.
Cat had to chuckle. “Come on, you know that’s not what I meant.”
“Maybe not, but it’s still funny,” Eliza said, chortling.
Grabbing a pillow, Cat bopped her lightly on the head. “What I want, if anything, dear friend, is a man of character—not a character of a man I’ve created. At least I don’t think I want that. After all, it’s disheartening to think the only reason Grayson wanted to sleep with me is because I wrote him that way—assuming I did, I guess. Not that it makes much sense otherwise that he’d be into a woman ten years his senior.”
Eliza pursed her lips. “I get that. But just because you’ve created them doesn’t mean you’ve controlled everything they’ve done, right down to the details, right?” She leapt up from the sofa, pacing back and forth. “I mean, look at Derrick. When you wrote about him, he was in high school. You didn’t write anything beyond that, and yet here he is, having a life, wanting to date you, even though it’s years later. And as to Grayson—first of all, stop underestimating yourself, Catherine. I know you consider yourself a Plain Jane, but you’re wrong. And I’m not just talking looks. There’s something about you that attracts others—when you let it. I think it’s what drew me to you, too.”
Eliza paused, gaping at her in mock horror. “Unless you’re telling me you created me, too?” She snickered at her own joke, and then asked in a less certain voice, “You didn’t, did you?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Eliza. Of course not.”
“Well, anyway, you may have written about Grayson as a sex object, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only reason he’s into you.” Eliza stopped moving for a minute. “He’s younger than you are. How does that work into this whole scheme, when you wrote about him years ago?”
“My sister pointed that out, too, as evidence against your theory. Rereading the story about him, I did describe him as being a perpetual grad student, so maybe that did it. Maybe that froze him in time...” Cat trailed off. After a minute she shook her head. “We’re being ridiculous. I think it’s far more likely my sister is right and we’ll discover a reasonable explanation for all of this.”
“Sure. If you say so.” Eliza’s face fell.
“You think that would be bad?”
“I don’t know. I’m still hoping you’ll write my Mr. Right.”
“Tell you what—if this experiment with Grayson works, I’ll write you anything you want.”
Half an hour later, as Cat and Eliza were watching Vampire Diaries in an attempt to block out the craziness of the past week, Cat’s cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Cat, this is William.”
“Hi, William. How are you?” Nervousness coursed through her veins. She wanted to believe this was a nice, normal conversation between two wholly human, wholly not supernatural adults. But the way the hair on her arms was standing up, she knew at least part of her suspected otherwise.
“I’m very well, thank you for asking. How is your mother?”
“She’s doing much better. Her ankle is stable enough now that she can hobble around wearing a protective boot, which has made her much happier.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I hope she continues to feel better and recover quickly.”
“Thank you.”
“Listen, I’ll be back down in Charlottesville next week while we’re working on some investment plans for the UVa hospital. I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I’m hoping you’re still interested in that second date.”
“Absolutely,” Cat answered. “I’d love that.” Even if she’d made him up, he was quite the catch, right? Given everything he’d done for her, she owed it to him to explore the possibilities further. As if that would be a hardship.
Eliza watched her, raising an eyebrow.
“Great,” William said. “I promise, no limos this time. Unless you want one.”
“No, no.” She laughed. “A regular old car will do just fine. In fact, how about I drive?”
“Sure,” William agreed. “That sounds like an adventure.”
“Ha, ha. How’s Saturday?” she suggested. “I can pick you up at 1:00.”
“An afternoon rendezvous. I’m intrigued.”
Had she imagined the innuendo in his voice? “Where will you be staying?”
“The Boar’s Head Inn. Do you know where it is?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Great, I’ll see you then.”
After Cat hung up, Eliza said, “Going out with Will again, huh?”
“Yup.”
“And you don’t mind that you created him?”
Cat glared at her.
“Well, you were just saying you didn’t know if a fake guy would be what you wanted.”
“We don’t know that he’s fake. Besides, if he were—and I’m not saying he is—he’s the closest to what I’m looking for, so maybe I’d consider it.”
“Because he’s rich?”
Cat elbowed her. “I’m not shallow.” Hesitating a second, she added, “Well, not that shallow. It’s not that I want to be rich, but financial security sounds appealing to someone who’s been battling to keep her head—and her bookstore—above water for the past ten years. And for all my talk about struggles making us stronger, well, William makes me feel safe, and whether it’s feminist or not to say so, that’s what I crave. Right now, at least. I’m sure my mother would be appalled.”
“You don’t know that, Cat,” Eliza said. “You’ve always said how devoted your parents were to each other. I’m sure she wants that for you, too. You know I do. I want to see you open yourself up to love again. Your heart’s been frozen for years; it’s time you thawed it out.”
“What fancy imagery.” Cat sighed, wriggling around on the sofa for a more comfortable position. “You’re right. I’ve been in limbo for a long time, not taking chances on anything. Now with all of this, I don’t know what or who to believe anymore. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, not knowing what is real and what isn’t. I mean, if someone overheard us talking like this at the coffee shop, acting as if bringing characters to life were possible, they’d think we were crazy. And maybe we are. Maybe I am.”
“Don’t pull out the straitjacket just yet. Let’s wait and see if Amaryllis makes a grand entrance.”
Cat half-laughed, half-sobbed. “Oh my God, I really am insane.”
“No, insane is the Salvatore brothers continually working with Klaus when they know he’s evil,” Eliza said, pointing at the TV. “Seriously, would it be so bad if Elena became a vampire? At least then all these crazy efforts to keep her human could stop.”
Cat laughed as tears slipped down her face. “You do know that this is a TV show, right? It’s not real.”
“Hey, if you can create sexy men, who’s to say? A girl can dream. And Damon is so yummy.”
“I like Stefan better.”
“You would.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s all about safety. Damon’s all about danger.”
“I like danger, too.”
Eliza snorted.
“Okay, yeah, I don’t. I don’t want danger. A little intrigue, maybe. I’ll leave the adventuring to you.”
“Yeah, like I’m living on the edge,” said Eliza, her voice bitter. “I guess I’ve been hiding out as much as you have, Cat.”
They gave each other a long look. After a moment, Cat said, “Who would’ve thought a silly television show could lead to such introspection?”
“You’re right,” answered Eliza. “Enough of that. How about we go out for a pizza?”
Cat stood up and grabbed her coat off the hook near the door. “You’re on. Heck, let’s throw caution to the wind. Let’s add breadsticks, too.”
The next morning, the Christmas bells she’d tied on the front door jingled, and Cat looked up to greet the first customer of the day. Ben Cooper walked in, shaking off his umbrella. He wiped his feet on the doormat, and then searched the store with his eyes. Spying Cat standing near the Biography section, he broke into a grin and strode toward her.
“Hiya. It’s great to see you again.” His voice was cheerful. “How’ve you been? I hope your mom is doing well.”
“She is, thank you.” She ignored the sudden racing of her heart at his appearance, gesturing toward the window, through which they could see rain coming down hard. “I think you’re the only person I know who could be so happy on such a glum day.”
“Yeah, well, it isn’t the rain that has me in this mood, I guess.”
“What does? Do tell.” An uncomfortable expression skittered across his face for a second.
“Uh ... Christmas shopping. I need a gift for Mei, and thought who better to ask for help with that than you?” His eyes didn’t quite meet hers.
“You guys are still seeing each other? That’s great! I hope it’s going well.” I’m not disappointed. I’m not disappointed. I’m not disappointed.
She paused for a second. “Why would I have any idea what Mei would want for Christmas? I don’t know her.”
“Oh, um. She’s interested in container gardening, whatever that is. Considering I have two black thumbs, I’m way out of my element here, so I thought I’d ask you.” He ran his fingers through his hair, making the front stand up. Cute.
“Here, let’s check over in this section and I’ll see what I have.”
He dutifully followed her across the room to a small section marked Plants/Gardening. Cat bent down to pull a title off the bottom shelf, then abruptly stood and whirled around, almost knocking him off his feet.
He reached out with both arms and grabbed onto her to steady himself. “Whoa there, you okay?”
She looked down at where he still gripped her forearms. She could feel the heat of his long, lean fingers against her skin. She studied them, noting the veins cording their way across the backs of his hands, the well-trimmed nails. She’d never thought a man’s hands could be sexy, and yet that’s exactly what flitted through her mind. Ben Cooper had sexy hands.
She raised her gaze back up. Good Lord, she was just a few inches from his face. And he was looking right at her. Wow, his eyes are beautiful.
She’d never really been a fan of men with brown eyes, though her father had had them—brown had always seemed rather plain, without the exotic hues of the blues and greens she fantasized about. But she was ready to revise that, staring into the chocolaty richness before her.
Their mouths hovered within inches of each other. If she leaned in, she could ... Whoa. Where’d that come from? You can’t kiss Ben Cooper! She worked to control her breathing, which had inexplicably sped up. She stared at him, wide-eyed.
For a second she was sure he wanted to kiss her, too. His grip tightened ever so slightly, and his eyes softened. Had he just rubbed his thumb over her arm? She sucked in a breath, unsure of what to do. Of what she wanted to do.
He gave her an awkward smile, dropping his hands as he took a half step back. This close to him, she could see a small mole to the side of his eyebrow and had to tamp down the urge to reach out and touch it. Instead, she rubbed her arms where he’d been holding her, suddenly feeling cold.
“You okay?” he repeated.
“Yeah, uh, yeah. Sorry. I just realized I never thanked you for helping out Eliza on Black Friday. I should have called you right away when I got in yesterday. I’m so sorry. I’ve been, um, kind of distracted.”
Her heart pounded. Her stomach raced. What was wrong with her? Her nose detected the delicious smell of coffee mixed with man—a heady, warm scent that had her wanting to step closer again.
“With your mom.” He nodded in understanding. “Perfectly logical. In any case, it was no big deal. I was glad to help. Definitely a nice change from students complaining about their grades and planning for finals.”
She didn’t disabuse him of his notion that it was all about her mom. Because to clarify the alternative, the reality, the bizarre fact that she was wrestling with the possibility, the improbability, that she was bringing fictional characters to life, was not an option.
She dropped her eyes to his lips. She needed a break from the intensity of those chocolate eyes. Moving to his mouth wasn’t much better, however. She wanted to reach up and trace those lips, to feel the hint of stubble she noticed along his jaw.
She took a step back herself, squaring her shoulders to ward off her untoward—and inappropriate—thoughts. “Still, it was far above and beyond the call of duty. May I pay you for your time?”
Ben crinkled his face, clearly perturbed. “No. No, I offered that as a service to a friend. We are friends, aren’t we, Cat?”
“Of course we are. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you,” she answered. Taking a deep breath, she turned back around to the bookshelf. “But I do think there’s something down here Mei might like.”
She bent down and pulled off a book. “Here it is,” she said as she handed it up to him. “Container Gardening: An Easy Step-by-Step Guide.”
Ben took the book from her hand, his fingers touching hers as he did.
She shivered, surprised by the contact. Had it been intentional? And why was she reacting this way? She wasn’t the kind of woman who swooned over a man, was she? Except that’s all I seem to be doing lately, ever since this fall. Must be something in the air. Or my biological clock ticking. Or a certain manuscript.
She looked up at Ben to ascertain if he’d noticed the touch. He was thumbing through the book, not looking at her, seemingly unaware of the unexpected cascade of emotions running through her.
For a moment, she wondered if she’d made him up, too. Was that why he was having such an effect on her? A snort burst forth from her nose. Good Lord, I really do think I’m God now, imagining I’ve created everyone around me.
Ben stopped his perusal of the book and looked at her, questions in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. Again. I’m a little, uh, stressed out. That wasn’t directed at you.”
He watched her for a few seconds. “Anything I can do to help?”
There was such genuine concern in his face that Cat suddenly felt the urge to cry. It’d been so long since anyone, except Eliza, had worried much about her. Her family loved her and wanted what was best for her, of course, but they were six hours away. Derrick hadn’t asked her all that much about herself. Grayson had clearly had his eye, and his mind, on other things. William ... William was wonderful, but maybe that was because she’d written him that way. At least she and he had gone on a date and were planning another.
But Ben Cooper? She didn’t know Ben that well. Not really. Why was he being so helpful?
“No. Thank you. You’ve done so much already.”
He looked ready to say something else, but cleared his throat instead and looked down at the book in his hands. “This is perfect, thanks. I’m sure Mei will love it.”
At Mei’s name, Cat’s insides spasmed. He’s taken. Remember? And you have William. Not to mention the bookstore. She nodded.
Together they walked to the cash register. “Are you getting her anything else?” she asked as Ben fumbled for his wallet in his back pocket.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said, surprise evident in his voice. “This is what she wants.”
“Sorry. It’s none of my business. Lord knows I would find books a delightful gift from a boyfriend, but some women might feel it’s, um, less than romantic.”
Ben handed her his credit card. He paused a moment before answering. “We’ve only gone on a handful of dates, so I’m not sure she’d call me her boyfriend, but thanks for the tip.”
“Candles are nice. Or jewelry. Does Mei like earrings?” Why she was persisting in this? And why was she so happy that he’d said he and Mei weren’t serious? They still were something.
“I have no idea. I’ve never noticed if she wears earrings.”
Cat touched her own ears self-consciously, fiddling with the blue sapphire earrings her dad had given her as a college graduation present.
Ben leaned around to peek at her ears, and then looked her full in the face. “Beautiful.”
Cat stared at him.
“Those earrings, they are beautiful,” he clarified.
“Thanks. They were a gift from my father.”
He watched her a moment longer. “They suit you,” he said simply. Their eyes remained locked until the door jingled again, breaking the connection between them.
A man walked in.
Cat gasped. “Grayson.”