Ben turned to assess the newcomer, and then glanced back at Cat. His face seemed stonier, more reserved. He picked up his purchase, his lips tightening before he spoke. “It was nice to see you again, Cat. Please tell Eliza hello.”
“I will,” she answered mechanically, not looking at him, still watching as Grayson sauntered toward her, a lazy grin on his face. The two men exchanged a quick glance as Ben walked out without looking back.
“Hi, Cat,” Grayson said.
“Hi, how are you?” She stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. See, those were the kind of eyes that made her melt. Not chocolate. Chestnut. Sorrel. Mahogany. Ugh, why am I still thinking about Ben Cooper’s regular old brown eyes? She smiled extra widely at Gray as if to erase Ben’s face from her mind.
Gray’s gaze dropped to her mouth. She licked her lips nervously, and his nostrils flared. Good Lord, he’s like a stallion in heat. She twisted her fingers together and shot him a grin, amazed to think she could elicit such a reaction in a man as model-handsome as Gray. It made no sense. Then she sobered.
Of course, it didn’t. Unless I wrote him to behave that way. What a deflating realization, to think that maybe the only reason this guy was attracted to her was because she’d created him to be so. Her smile faded.
Gray didn’t seem to notice. “I’m great,” he said. “Five more papers to grade and my second dissertation chapter to turn in, and I’m a free man. At least until mid-January.”
“That’s great.”
The glumness she suddenly felt must have been evident in her voice, as Grayson reached out and touched her cheek. “Hey, you all right?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.” Geez, there I go, apologizing again. She shook her head. “Nothing to do with you, Grayson. Just some things I’m, um, realizing all of a sudden.”
He scrutinized her face as if trying to figure her out. After a moment, he said, “I’m here to find an anthology of Margaret Atwood poems. I love her Variations on the Word Love. Have you read it?”
“No, but I’ve read a few of her books. I loved Lady Oracle.”
Grayson walked toward the poetry section, thumbing through the books. “Here it is. I think it’s in this volume, at least: her poems from 1976-1986.”
Cat followed him automatically, lost in her own confusion over Ben Cooper, these men and her writing and what it all meant. If it were true. Grayson was alone, after all; no sister in sight. Was that evidence enough against Eliza’s notions—and hers, if she were honest—that she had created him, much less had any control over him?
“Shall I read it to you?” Gray’s voice dipped seductively. His eyes trapped hers again and her pulse fluttered.
Was it possible, since nothing seemed any different, that Grayson’s attentions had nothing to do with any stupid story, any silly manuscript, and were truly focused on her?
Cat hesitated for a second. She knew where it would lead if he read poetry to her: where it had led last time. She could feel the electricity between them, the currents flowing through the room. It was a different kind of magnetism than with Ben, but it was still powerful. Maybe Grayson wouldn’t seduce her right this minute, in the middle of a business day. But soon enough. Did she want that?
No. Sex without love isn’t worth it to me.
Eliza traipsed out of the back room, carrying a box of wrapping paper and ribbons. “I found the extra gift wrapping supplies,” she called out before she spied Grayson. “Oh.” She nearly dropped the box on the floor. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were busy.”
“It’s fine, Eliza. I was helping Grayson find a book he wanted. That’s all,” Cat said. She didn’t know Eliza had been downstairs. Had her friend witnessed her interaction with Ben? Not that anything inappropriate had happened, of course. Outside of her own head, at least.
Eliza grinned. “Sure, if you say so, Cat.” She turned to Grayson. “Hey, Grayson, how’ve you been? We need you to come to our next Poetry Night—you draw quite the crowd.”
Gray flashed her a flirty grin. Cat was amused to see pink infuse Eliza’s face. “I’d be happy to. When is it? I so enjoyed the last one.” He turned his gaze back to Cat. She could feel heat rush to her cheeks. Great, now I’m blushing.
“Cat did, too,” Eliza said. “I mean, we all did. But I think Cat especially appreciated how the evening turned out.”
Cat wanted to sink into the floor. If she’d been standing closer, she’d have given Eliza a swift kick to the shins. Surreptitiously, of course. Or perhaps not. “We’re still considering when to hold the next one,” she managed to say. “Certainly not until after Christmas. Maybe January. That’s one of our slowest months, so it would be good to draw more people in.” She was babbling. She needed to stop talking.
“Not a problem,” Grayson said. “Just let me know. I’d be more than happy to repeat my performance.”
Eliza dropped the ribbon she’d been holding.
“Thanks, we’ll be in touch.” Cat’s voice was a bit too cheerful in her desperate attempt to mask her embarrassment. “In the meantime, I’ve got to shelve more of our new inventory, so can I ring you up for the book?”
Grayson’s eyes cooled at the obvious dismissal. “I’m just looking today. Still considering my options.”
I bet you are. He had no idea what she could do to him. Or what she maybe possibly could do. She could make him dreadfully odiferous with enormous buck teeth. Or give him a painful boil on his neck. Maybe a nose that never stopped running. Try then to work your wiles on women with your poetry quoting.
She smiled smugly, feeling more in control of herself. Sure, it was crazy to believe she had such powers, but at least it took some of the power away from him.
Gray reached out and grabbed her hand, caressing her palm with his thumb. Okay, less in control now. He’s still damned sexy. “I hope to see you again soon, Cat.” He pointed to the mistletoe Eliza had hung over the Romance section. “Maybe I’ll catch you under that. Got to honor Christmas traditions, you know,” he said with a wink. Then he turned and walked out the door without waiting for an answer.
“Can you believe how many of these gingerbread house construction kits we’ve sold?” Eliza asked Cat as they cleaned up the kids’ section of the store the following Friday. They’d hosted a rowdy but fun group of kindergartners for Shiver Me Timbers Story Time that morning—temporarily renamed Shiver Me Gingers in honor of the season. Now they endeavored to get a big juice stain out of the area rug.
“I know, who knew they’d be a hit? I’m so glad you thought to order more of them while I was in Ohio.”
“Actually, it was Ben’s suggestion to get more. He noted that we sold six on Black Friday alone. He said a number of moms commented how nice it was to find a sturdy set that wasn’t made out of candy and sugar. Especially since they’re reusable.”
“Not sure the kids will have the same reaction. But I guess I’ll have to thank him ... again.” Cat’s thoughts flew back to the near-kiss from a few days ago. Had it been a near-kiss? It’d seemed so to her, but perhaps she’d misread the situation.
“Yes, you do. He was so great.” Eliza gave her a pointed look. “He asked me lots of questions about you.”
Cat stopped scrubbing. “What kinds of questions?”
“Questions that told me I was right on the money about his feelings about you. He tried to be discreet, but...”
“He’s with Mei.”
“Yeah.” Eliza frowned. “Yeah, he is.”
“He came in last week and bought her a Christmas present.”
Eliza held up her hands in mock surrender. “You’re right. You’re right. Clearly one can never have feelings for two people at once.”
Cat’s shoulders tensed. “Are you mocking me?”
“Of course not.” Eliza bit her lip. “Just ... no, never mind. Let’s drop it.”
Cat resumed scrubbing. Irritation brought a scowl to her face. Because obviously, one could have feelings for two people at once. She herself had feelings for three, if she counted the physical desire Grayson sparked in her. Acknowledging that made her feel sick. She was different from her duplicitous ex-fiancé. Wasn’t she? Having feelings was one thing; acting on them quite another. She snuck a glance at the sofa. Except she had acted on them. At least one of them.
But she hadn’t actually cheated on anyone, she reminded herself. She’d gone out with Grayson after deciding Derrick wasn’t for her. And she’d already put Grayson in the ‘not again’ category before going out with William, in spite of her stupid body reacting whenever he was near. Plus, she and William had only gone on one date; hardly enough time to consider being exclusive.
Although she’d finally acknowledged her silly attraction to Ben Cooper—to herself, at least—she hadn’t pursued it. And he hadn’t pursued her. She was in the clear, right? So why did she feel so guilty?
“Too bad,” Eliza continued after a moment, oblivious to her friend’s inner torment. Her mouth quirked up as she shot Cat a grin. “Because he’s rather awesome. So funny. Kind. Helpful. And have you ever noticed his eyes? They remind me of hot chocolate. I’d date him if I could.”
Cat sat back on her heels again and blew her hair out of her eyes with an exasperated harrumph. Yes. Yes, I have noticed those eyes. “Maybe you should tell him that. Don’t let him having a girlfriend stop you.”
Eliza raised an innocent eyebrow, obviously delighting in needling her friend. “I’m not his type.”
“Good to know. Can we get back to cleaning?”
“Sure,” Eliza said, spraying a juice spot with carpet cleaner.
“You know what else he suggested?”
“No, what?” Cat bit out.
“That we should have a Facebook page for the store. I can’t believe we didn’t think of that ourselves. You know I’m on there all the time.”
“I’m not,” Cat said. “It’s all cat pictures and playing weird, fake farm games, and people hooking up with their exes.”
“No, it’s not. Besides, Ben’s right; I see more and more businesses with Facebook pages. Seems to me like a good way to advertise for free.”
“It’s free to have a business page?”
“Oh, now you’re interested?”
“If you’re willing to set it up, sure. I’m so not techie.”
“No problem, Luddy,” Eliza said. “I’ll work on it this evening.”
The door jingled. Cat stood up to see Grayson removing a scarf from his neck, while the stunning woman next to him glanced around the store, a bored expression on her face. Cat took an immediate dislike to her, although she didn’t fully understand why. Except maybe that this woman was tall and lean and absolutely gorgeous. And she had hooked her arm through Gray’s in a possessive manner. A small spark of jealousy caught Cat off guard. She might not want Grayson, but apparently, she didn’t want anyone else to have him yet.
“Hi, Grayson,” Eliza called out as she walked forward to greet them.
Oh, sure, Eliza, betray me by being friendly to this model-like creature. Cat crossed her arms. Wait, model-like? Cat studied her again. Could it be? Was that a sisterly rather than a lover-like grasp?
She followed after Eliza, pasting a smile on her face.
“Hi, Eliza. Hi, Cat.” Grayson gestured to the woman at his side. “I’d like you to meet my sister, Amy. Amy, this is Eliza James and Catherine Schreiber. They own this great bookstore.”
Eliza’s eyes whipped to Cat’s. Amy?
Amy gave them the barest of nods before turning back to her brother. “Since when are you Grayson, Nick?”
The room started to spin. Nick? His name was Nick? As is Nicholas? She grabbed Eliza’s elbow to steady herself, though Eliza didn’t seem too stable at the moment, either.
Grayson glared at his sister.
Amy rolled her eyes. “I take it Nick didn’t sound intellectual enough for a guy into poetry, so you’re using Mom’s maiden name?” She sneered at Cat. “I guess it would impress some women.”
Cat bristled even as she fought not to throw up.
“Amy?” Eliza broke in. “You’re Gray’s—Nick’s—Gray’s sister?”
Amy’s face was like ice. “Um, yes. That’s what he just said. Although I prefer to go by my full name, Amaryllis. Only Nick—I mean Grayson—calls me Amy.”
Gray ruffled her hair. “That’s what big brothers are for. I am older by seventeen minutes, don’t forget.”
“I thought—I thought you told me you were an only child?” Cat stammered, the blood draining from her face.
“What? No, I never said that.” Giving her a confused look, he continued. “I’m sure I’ve told you about Amy—oh, pardon me, Amaryllis.” He elbowed his sister.
Cat gulped in big breaths of air and clutched her arms around her belly. “I’m going to be sick.”
“Gross. That’s a sign we need to be going, Nick.” Amaryllis edged away from Cat.
“Sorry, Cat. Hope it’s not that stomach flu going around,” Gray said, concern in his voice even as he, too, moved a few steps away. “We’ll let you go. I wanted to show Amy your store before I take her over to my department. She’s only in town for a few days. There’s some sort of bug conference—”
“—Entomology conference!” Amy interjected.
“—over in Gilmer Hall that she wanted to attend.”
Cat said nothing, but turned and fled to the back of the store, shutting herself in the storeroom. Eliza burst through the door a minute later, where she found Cat leaning over a bucket, dry-heaving.
“Cat, are you okay?”
Cat sat back on her knees, eyes red and hair wild. “I guess it’s good I didn’t eat breakfast,” she gasped, fighting to catch her breath. “Are they still out there?”
“No. Amy was dragging Grayson out the door as I came back here. He did say to let him know if you needed anything.”
The door jingled again. “No! I can’t go out there right now, Eliza. I can’t. I can’t!” Cat whispered, utter panic in her voice.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” Eliza said. She left for the front room. Cat could hear her greet someone—it sounded like a grandmotherly-type lady—enthusiastically.
At least it wasn’t Grayson returning. Thank God for Eliza.
She sat on the floor of the storage room, struggling to control her racing thoughts. It’s real. It’s all real. Or maybe what I should say is, it’s fiction! All of it! She heaved over the bucket again. I made them up. A maniacal giggle rose in her throat. How was that even possible?
She raised her eyes to the ceiling. “God, I’m not sure I believe in you half the time, but isn’t creating people your arena, not mine? What is this? What is this?”
At that moment, Eliza hurried back into the storage room. “This calls for emergency coffee,” she exclaimed. “Can you do coffee?”
Cat shook her head weakly as Eliza paced back and forth. “It’s two in the afternoon. We can’t close now.”
“We certainly can.” She grabbed Cat’s hand and pulled her to her feet. “And we are. Because I can’t face this without coffee. And cheesecake. Definitely cheesecake.”
Eliza raced to the front of the store, dragging Cat along behind her. Cat’s insides still churned. She barely noticed as Eliza flipped the sign to Closed, and herded her out the door and across the street.
Entering the coffee shop, Eliza said, “You need to eat something. Now.”
Cat shook her head. “I don’t think I can. I’ll just have a drink.”
“Fine, but I’m having cheesecake. Maybe even two slices.” Retrieving their orders, they slid into their usual booth.
Cat stared blankly around her, holding the coffee with both hands without drinking it. “I’m going insane. That can’t have happened.” Her eyes fixed on Eliza with desperation. “Tell me that can’t just have happened.”
“If you’re insane, then I am, too, Cat. Because we were both there and it did happen. You changed the story, and it changed reality.”
“But, but ... maybe he did tell me he had a sister and I forgot.”
“Really? You’re going to try to dismiss this again? How much proof do you need?”
Cat sank her head down onto her hands, gripping her hair tightly. She stared at the table. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”
Eliza softened her voice. “I know you don’t. I don’t, either.”
“Hey, Cat, Eliza. What are you guys doing here at this time in the afternoon? Is there a problem at the store?”
Oh, God. Ben’s voice. Not now. She closed her eyes. Not now.
“No, no, everything’s fine,” Eliza said. “We needed a breather for a few minutes. We’ll go back over soon. Can’t stay away long in the middle of Christmas season.”
A hysterical giggle escaped Cat.
“Is she all right?” she heard Ben say. Then he addressed her directly, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder and asking again, “Are you okay?”
She glanced up at him, her eyes rimmed with tears. “I’m fine, really. Just ... just a tough day. I’ll be fine.”
Ben’s eyes radiated concern. She could feel the warmth of his hand through her shirt. “Anything I can do?” he asked.
“No.” She shrugged his hand away. His gentleness was making her eyes well up again, and she was afraid she was going to burst into tears right here in the middle of the coffee shop.
He looked stung but gave her a small smile. “I guess you know how to find me if you need me. Take care.”
He nodded at Eliza before walking to the other side of the room, where he sat down and opened his laptop. He was alone today. He didn’t look her way.
Turning back to Eliza, she said, “Do you think you could cover the rest of the afternoon? I—I need to sleep. To sleep, and perhaps wake up where all of this makes sense, and where I know what is real and what isn’t. Because I sure don’t know right now.”
“Of course.” Eliza squeezed her friend’s hand.
“Thanks, Eliza.” She closed her eyes again. The manuscript. Derrick. Grayson. William. She couldn’t take it all in. Ben? She opened her eyes and watched him across the room. Where did he fit in to all of this? Did he?
“Let’s go,” she said to Eliza, who was shoveling cheesecake into her mouth.
Eliza licked her fork before hopping up. “That’ll prepare me for whatever might walk in the door this afternoon, right?”
Cat just stared ahead, unseeing, as they walked out the door arm in arm. Right. Sure. Unless it was Fitzwilliam Darcy. Or Jane Austen herself.
Which, frankly, at this point wouldn’t surprise Cat a bit.