CHAPTER SEVEN

Karen was waiting for me in front of the school, looking as if she had been waiting for hours, her arms crossed, her face full of huffs and puffs of impatience. Two of the girls from her class were standing beside her, all turning with similar expressions on their faces as I hurried along. Melina had kept me for a few minutes, explaining more about the school campus and describing the teachers I had yet to meet. She wasn’t rushing to go home because she was staying to do some work in the library and watch Tommy in basketball practice. I pretty much concluded that they were really just good friends. She had invited me to join her, but I thought I’d better not do too much this first day. And I sensed how jealous Karen would be.

“I have to show my face at practice,” she explained. “I’m his lucky charm. Not that he needs one. You’ll see when you come to a game. Call me tonight if you have any questions. You have my number on my card.”

I thanked her for helping me and started away. Two other girls in our class, Vikki Summers and Liona Wesley, had given me their cards as well. Even one of the boys, Bradley Kadinsky, gave me a card, too. Did everyone really have one? I wondered why Karen never mentioned having one or why Ava didn’t mention that she would get one made for me. It couldn’t be that she didn’t know about them.

“Lucky for you that my father’s never on time,” Karen said as I approached. The girls with her smiled. “You’d have to walk home.”

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it. Melina had some more things to tell me, and some of the other students in the class wanted to give me their cards, like business cards. Do you have one, too?”

“No. If someone here doesn’t know who I am, too bad,” she said.

“Well, Melina told me—”

“Melina.” Karen interrupted as if it was profanity. She raised her eyes toward the other two, who nodded. “She thinks she’s student government president or something. She’ll twist her ears over, telling you about herself. She’d keep the president waiting until she’s finished.”

The other two laughed.

“I was also on the other side of the building,” I said.

Karen shrugged. I looked at her friends. I was about to introduce myself when Karen finally spoke up.

“This is Adele Scholefield and this is Margaret Toby, whose party you’re going to Saturday night.”

“Hi,” I said. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Glad you’re coming. New kids are always a headline,” Margaret said.

“Believe me, I’d rather not be a headline.”

Karen groaned, maybe afraid that I would dramatize my life the way she dramatized hers and become the center of attention.

“Karen says your mother died recently, and she was her father’s sister,” Adele said. There was a pause when I didn’t say anything. “We’re sorry,” she said.

“Thank you.”

I looked at Karen, wondering how much more she had told them. Did she explain why I had come here and why she never had known me? Other kids my age would have the most questions to ask, especially at a party, and that was only two days away. Daddy and I should talk about this, I thought, as well as about what he had told Dr. Stewart. The problem was, it was difficult for us to have private talks at the house.

“We’ll see you at my party,” Margaret said as a Mercedes sedan was pulling up.

“It’s not too soon for you to party, is it?” Adele suddenly asked me.

“Yeah, maybe it’s too soon,” Karen said, and looked at me hopefully.

“Everything’s too soon for me. One more thing won’t matter,” I said. I looked at Karen. “Besides, Karen wanted me to meet all her friends.”

“Huh?” Karen said.

Her two friends laughed.

“Love your hairdo,” Adele called.

“Me too,” Margaret said. They shouted goodbye and hurried to the Mercedes. The moment they were too far to hear us, I turned to Karen.

“What else did you tell them about me?” I asked.

She shrugged. “What else could I tell them except your mother died and you showed up unexpectedly? You don’t share secrets yet.” Before I could respond, she cried, “There’s my father!”

We watched our father drive up. Karen quickly got into the front seat, and I got into the rear.

“Your hair’s very nice, Saffron.”

“Thank you… Uncle Derick.”

“I should get my hair done for the party, too,” Karen said.

“Talk to your mother. How was school?” Daddy asked me as he started driving off.

“She only had two classes, Daddy,” Karen answered for me.

He ignored her and waited for my response.

“It’s great,” I said. “How lucky everyone is to have a school like this. It’s beautiful, and the two teachers I met were very nice. So is Dr. Stewart, who told me she gets to know every student,” I emphasized. He glanced at me quickly in the rearview mirror.

Karen turned to me and widened her eyes as if I had said something that betrayed her and every other student.

“Dr. Stewart is very nice?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.

“She was to me.”

“Because you’re new. Wait until you’re here a week,” she said, and turned back around quickly.

“Don’t discourage her, Karen. I’m glad to hear you had a good start, Saffron,” Daddy said, and started away. “Don’t forget to mention that to Ava’s father, Amos Saddlebrook, when you see him Sunday night.”

“I told my grandfather that lots of times,” Karen said.

“He never hears it enough,” Daddy said.

“You’d better not just give him compliments to get him to like you,” Karen warned me. “Mommy says he has a built-in bullshit detector.”

“Karen. Watch your language.”

“I’m sure she’s heard worse, haven’t you, Saffron?”

“And seen worse, too,” I added, glaring back at her.

Her smile quickly faded. “Well, don’t describe anything disgusting about where you’ve been and what you’ve done when you’re with my friends at the party. They all gossip and exaggerate. It’s like that game you told me about, right, Daddy?”

“It’s known as telephone. A message is passed along through a group and usually is quite changed when the last one repeats it.”

“Exactly. Especially things you might describe,” Karen told me.

I might describe? I thought. Oh, there is plenty to tell that you won’t want to hear. I caught Daddy’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Shut up was written across them.

I looked away. To have to sit quietly and listen to Karen basically tell me to avoid talking to people about myself while Daddy sat silently was shredding my heart. Maybe he was thinking it was better to ignore Karen’s snide remarks than to come to my defense. The more he did protect me, the more suspicious she would become. He and I would never stop tiptoeing on the thin ice.

“And what about you, Karen?” Daddy asked her, obviously eager to change the topic. “How was your day at school?”

“Pretty good. I got an eighty-five on my English test today,” Karen said. “And I hardly studied for it.”

“Really? Well, now that you have an AP student living with us, maybe she’ll help you get a ninety-five,” he said.

Karen’s shoulders rose as if she had felt a chill run through her body.

“Right, Saffron?” Daddy asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror.

“We’ll help each other, Uncle Derick,” I said. “Going to school isn’t just taking tests. There’s a lot else to learn, and I’m sure Karen can teach it,” I said, making it sound like what there was to learn was unspeakable and she was the expert when it came to any of that.

Karen spun around to look at me. Maybe she thought I was joking or making fun of her. I was, but the expression on my face was enough to convince her I wasn’t. Ironically, she looked pleased.

“That’s great,” Daddy said. “You can help your mother shop for Saffron on Saturday. Mom might not be up on what’s cool now and what isn’t.”

“Won’t Saffron know that herself? She’s from California. I’m from Sandburg Creek.”

“Fashion wasn’t at the top of my list,” I muttered.

She looked at me suspiciously. “Still, you saw what other girls were wearing in school, didn’t you?”

“Why look in the windows of jewelry stores if you can’t afford any? You’re just torturing yourself.”

“Huh? What’s that mean?”

Neither Daddy nor I answered.

She sighed deeply. “Oh, I’ll go shopping with them. I need some new things,” she whined. “Mother hasn’t bought me anything new since my birthday.”

“Well, lucky for you that Saffron needs some new things,” Daddy said, and laughed.

I knew he was trying to be funny, but I couldn’t even smile, watching and listening to him being so kind and loving to another daughter. I never wanted to face a crisis in which he had to choose between us. Karen would always come first. After all, I was only his niece.

Besides, when it came to him choosing me over his own happiness, my success record was not too good.

In a real sense, I felt trapped now that I was really here. I had to avoid serious conflicts with Karen at all cost, with anyone, for that matter, and I feared there were plenty of possibilities for conflicts here at this school for privileged kids. The more spoiled someone was, the less compassion she had for others. Karen was climbing to the top of that list every passing moment we were together, most likely out of jealousy and fear that I would steal whatever spotlight she lived in at this school.

Would I, could I, ever get to like her or get her to like me? Did I really want that?

“Yeah,” Karen said. “You mean how fortunate for her that I’m here to help her get the right stuff,” she said.

We were both waiting for Daddy to say something, but he just looked forward and drove. I had been hoping he’d turn to her and at least say something like She’s really far from lucky, Karen. She lost her mother and has had a very difficult time of it. We should all help her as best we can. I longed for him to say something like that, but it was clear in the silence that he wouldn’t. My orders were just as clear: stay away from bringing up my past because of the danger that I would confuse things. The safest option was to pretend I was just reborn here. I had no history beyond yesterday.

We drove in that uncomfortable silence all the remaining way. When we reached our street, Daddy slowed down to almost a crawl. I saw a police car in front of his house.

“What’s that?” Karen asked. “Why are the police here?”

Daddy said nothing. We pulled into the garage. When we all got out, Daddy looked at me and spoke so low that he was practically only mouthing the words. “Don’t say anything. I’ll do the talking.”

Ava called to us from the fancy living room the moment we had entered from the garage.

“In here,” she said.

Karen looked at me with an impish smile. “Did you rob a store or something on the way here?”

“No,” I said. “I robbed it here.”

“Karen,” Daddy said sharply, the worry written in capital letters all over his face. “Maybe you should go upstairs and start your schoolwork.”

“After I say hello,” she said defiantly. She was obviously very curious about why the police were here. “Mother doesn’t like me dissing guests, you know. Besides, why didn’t you tell Saffron to go up to her room, too?”

“Just behave your… selves,” he said.

We entered the elegant living room. Ava was seated across from a policeman whose highly decorated uniform loudly announced he was the chief of police. He had his hat in his lap. His golden-brown hair was cropped military-short. To me, he looked quite young for a chief of police, maybe thirty. He had wide shoulders, but he was a bit chubby, with soft round cheeks nearly swallowing up his jawline. He stood up immediately and was clearly over six feet tall, with bright hazel eyes. I was sure that the mature and commanding look he sought was compromised by the freckles on the crests of his cheeks.

“Hello, Chief,” my father said, and smiled.

“Mr. Anders. Karen,” he said, nodding at her. “How’s school?”

“Long,” Karen replied, and he laughed.

Then he looked at me. “You must be Saffron, then.”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Chief Siegler was cruising our neighborhood when I came home,” Ava said. “I invited him in for a cool drink. He wanted to see Garson, too.”

“Going to be a big guy,” Chief Siegler said.

“Once he gets those teeth,” Daddy said. “Sit, Sam. Girls?” Daddy looked at us both. He looked very nervous, but maybe only to me.

“I’m going up to take a shower,” Karen said. Fortunately, she was bored already.

“You might stay a while, Saffron,” Ava said pointedly. “The chief was asking about you, how you were fitting in. It’s better if you speak for yourself.”

Karen grimaced.

More talk about me? Boring.

She left after looking at Ava and saying, “Nice to see you, Chief.”

Daddy nodded at the sofa Ava was on, so I moved to it. Chief Siegler looked at Daddy and sat. Daddy didn’t move. The chief turned to me.

“Everything working out all right for you? I know it’s only been a little while, but I know how hard these things can be for kids your age, going to a new school, making new friends, and learning the ropes. And that’s without the unfortunate circumstances that brought you here.”

“Yes, sir,” I said. “Everything is fine. It’s a beautiful school.”

“Quite a trip you took to get here?”

“Yes, it was.”

“How was your flight?”

“It was my first, but I thought it was okay. I slept most of the way, even on the bus.”

He nodded but looked keenly at Daddy, who smiled. Was it all going to collapse right now in front of Ava? Would the police chief ask me more detailed questions, like the name of the airline, or when exactly the flight left?

“She’s an AP student, you know,” Daddy said quickly. “She’ll graduate early.”

“No kidding? Did you fly out of LAX?” he asked. Before I could reply, he added, “My wife and I have always wanted to go to Los Angeles? You lived close to L.A.?”

“Yes,” I said. I was glad he had said “Los Angeles.” I didn’t know where LAX was or what it was.

“You ever been to Hollywood?”

“No, sir.”

He laughed. “It’s like people in New York City who’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty.”

“I’ve never been,” Daddy said.

Ava looked sharply at him and at me.

“It’s a big country and lots to see, especially for a hometown boy,” the chief said. “The only time I left Sandburg Creek was to join the army. My wife and I are always talking about doing a cross-country trip, too. I hear a train might be fun,” he added, looking at me. “You ever go on a train?”

For a moment, I thought the lie would choke me. I didn’t try to swallow.

“No, sir. I never traveled anywhere, any way, for enjoyment,” I said, trying not to sound surly.

“I see.” He held his gaze on me for just a beat too long. I had to look away and then back at him. “Sure. I understand.” He looked at Daddy. “Anything in particular you need for Saffron, Mr. Anders?”

Why would a police chief ask that? I wondered.

“We’re okay. I think we’ve made a good start. As you said, Chief, a change, under her circumstances, is not easy, but she’s doing fine. Proud of her.”

“Glad to hear it. Well,” he said, standing. “They got me checking out some potholes in the neighborhood. Someone on the street is quite persistent about it. I think you know who I mean.”

“Shouldn’t that go to the highway department?” Daddy asked suspiciously. He glanced at Ava, too.

Chief Siegler nodded. “You know how it is. Everyone looks to someone else. Everyone’s too busy. Thanks again for the chat and the Coke, Mrs. Anders.” He put on his hat.

“I’ll walk you out,” Daddy said. He looked at me with a bit of concern. I knew the warning in his eyes. Don’t offer up any information. Just answer questions directly. It was the mantra that greeted me in the morning and that I feared would follow me forever here.

As soon as Daddy left with the police chief, Ava turned to me.

“And really, how is school so far? Did anyone give you any trouble? Any of Karen’s so-called friends?”

“Oh, no. Just the opposite.”

I described everything about my half day that I could. I told her how nice Dr. Stewart was and how a girl named Melina Forest had been assigned to help me adjust. I even brought up the business cards.

“A stupid affectation. I won’t permit Karen to do that, nor will I allow you.”

“Not anything I care about having, Aunt Ava.”

I laughed to myself recalling how Karen had defended herself for not having one, claiming to be above all that, when the truth was, her mother wouldn’t permit it.

“Good.” She looked toward the front of the house. I could see out the window, too. Daddy was in an intense conversation with the chief. Of course, I knew exactly why. The question tormenting my stomach was what had the chief of police told Ava? As part of the fabrication Daddy had given her, the police supposedly had informed him I was on my way. Did Ava ask him, and did the chief deny that?

“You can go up and change, Saffron. Do you have much homework?”

“Yes. Melina Forest had my other textbooks from the earlier classes I missed and marked where the classes were up to in the books. She was quite helpful. I have a lot of catching up to do. Some of the subjects are brand-new for me.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” she said, looking out the window at them again. I didn’t think she had heard a word I said. Hopefully, she had not seen how much I had been trembling in expectation of her questions.

I quickly rose and went up to my room. Was all of this going to come to an abrupt end now? I went to my window and looked down to see the chief of police drive off. Then, feeling my insides still trembling, I sat on the bed and listened to every sound in the house, anticipating the roof falling in. Garson started to cry, and that was followed by footsteps on the stairs and in the hall. I waited, half expecting to hear Ava shouting. Another set of footsteps grew louder and closer. There was a knock on my door.

“Yes?”

Daddy slipped in, not opening the door fully.

“I know you’re worried,” he began, almost in a whisper. “He didn’t give anything away.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. His contract renewal is coming up. He played Ava well, looking out for me. He doesn’t know why or anything; he just thought it was a good idea to go along with what I had told her happened. We’re fine.”

“Ava’s not suspicious?”

“Not a bit,” he said.

“I’m worried about going to this party, the questions. And this Dr. Stewart. She wants to have a private get-to-know-you session. What did you tell her? What could she ask me?”

“I followed the notes I gave you to a T. You can elaborate on anything you want. Don’t be nervous about any of it. Just do as I told you to do. Your story is always that you don’t want to bring up troubling memories just yet. Just go with that and stick to the general facts in the notebook. Dr. Stewart will definitely not be a problem.”

“You’ve been married a long time, and you’re part of the family business, Daddy. Don’t you think the truth might be better now?”

He drew closer, a cold look in his eyes. “Try to avoid calling me Daddy, Saffron. And no, it would, as I told you, be a disaster for us both.”

He paused, waiting to see if I would say anything, and then he slipped out the way he had come in.

I let out a breath that seemed to have originated from the bowels of the earth and then began preparing for a shower and changing my clothes. As soon as I stepped into the shower and closed the curtain, I heard the bathroom door open and saw Karen come in wearing her bathrobe and sit on the closed toilet seat. She sat back and began filing her fingernails.

“What do you want?” I cried.

“Just take your shower,” she said. “I’m not rushing downstairs to look after Garson because Celisse is leaving or to help with dinner.”

I saw her stand up, turn, and undo her robe to look at herself in the mirror, running her palms over her developing breasts.

As soon as I stepped out, she turned to look at me. Not anyone but my mother and Daddy when I was little and Mazy ever saw me stark naked. I reached quickly for my towel, fearful that she would declare I wasn’t as old as I claimed. If anything, however, it was just the opposite.

“You’re so well developed already,” she moaned. “Look at me. And you have the ass of a grown woman, too.”

“Sometimes it all happens practically overnight,” I said, putting on my robe after drying myself. “Don’t obsess over it.”

“Every other girl in my class is more developed than I am.”

“Not Melina Forest.”

“She’s not in my class, and I don’t compare myself to her for anything. She’s from another planet.”

She thought a moment, staring hard at me.

“What?”

“Do you masturbate? Adele thinks that makes you develop faster. Is that what you did?”

“You share everything with your friends, even stuff like that?”

“With best friends. That’s what they’re for. I told you about sharing our secrets before we became best friends.” She paused and looked at me askance. “You sound like you never had even one?”

“I wasn’t as trusting as you are,” I said. “Even with the short time I was at school and the few girls I met, I wouldn’t be so eager to do it now, either, after meeting some of those girls.”

“Well, are you going to share secrets with me or not?” she asked, with her hands on her hips. She did look a lot like Ava, especially when her temper flared. In my heart of hearts, I wished she was practically a clone and my father just happened to be here.

“I have masturbated,” I admitted. “But that’s not why I’ve developed and continue to,” I said. “It’s a ridiculous idea. Probably some stupid thing on the internet. Some suckle on the internet like a baby on its mother’s breast.”

“What?”

She smiled. Her little rage calmed, and she followed me to my bedroom.

“Suckle on it?”

“That’s how it seems,” I said.

“You don’t have to put on your old clothes,” she said when I started to reach for the clothes I had brought with me. “Just wait. I’ll get you something nicer.”

“Thank you.”

I smiled to myself, remembering Mazy telling me you get more with honey than with vinegar. About a minute later, she returned with a long-sleeved dark-blue sweater dress with rib-knit cuffs. She handed it to me, and I held it up.

“It’s very nice. Thanks.”

“I think I wore it twice since my mother bought it for me. I have clothes that still have tags on them,” she confessed. “My mother forgets what she bought me.”

“Really?”

I slipped on the dress and looked at myself.

“It fits you better because you’re more filled out,” she said in the tone of a moan. “Your mother must have been pretty. Don’t you have any pictures of her?”

“I do,” I said, and took out the envelope of pictures Daddy had given me.

She seized them like a starving animal and plopped onto my bed as she sifted through them.

“There’s none recent?” she asked, looking up from the last one.

“We were both too busy to take pictures.”

“Even on your phone?”

I looked down, playing on the ashamed bit.

“Remember, I said I never had a phone.”

“I didn’t believe it. Why not?”

“We had to budget our expenses, especially this past year.”

She stared at me as if I had really just landed on earth.

“Oh,” she said, looking like she had swallowed sour milk. She didn’t even want to hear about people who were less fortunate. “Well, I’ll ask Daddy to get you one. You need it,” she said firmly, even angrily. “We have to stay in touch all the time.”

“I guess,” I said. “He did say he would.”

“Well, I don’t guess. We sneak texts in class. I’ll show you how to hide your phone and put it on vibrate so you can feel a message without the teacher knowing.”

She glanced at the pictures and then put them back in the envelope.

“Your mother was beautiful, just as I thought,” she said.

“Yes, she was.”

“How many boyfriends did she have after your father left?”

“I don’t know exactly. Too many.”

“You never liked any of them?”

“No.”

“Any you hated more?”

I looked down. I’m onstage, I thought.

“What?”

“One was a little too interested in me.”

Her eyes widened. “You’ll tell me all about that, right?”

“What I can. It makes me sick to remember.”

“I bet. Yes, when you can.”

She looked so happy that I nearly laughed.

“I’m getting dressed for dinner. Afterward, we’ll do homework together and talk. In my room,” she added, like someone driving nails into the wall.

“Okay.”

She marched out. I looked at myself in her dress again. I’m sure it looks better on me, I thought. But I’m sure I should never let her know I think so.

Almost as soon as I entered the dining room, Karen emphasized my need for a phone. “I know you said you were getting her one, Daddy, but make sure it’s just like mine. It makes texting and exchanging photos easier.”

He looked at her across the table, got up, and left the room.

“Derick, what the hell…” Ava called after him.

When she shouted, Garson moaned in his bassinet but didn’t wake up.

A minute later, Daddy returned with a new phone in its box.

“I forgot I got it today. It’s all set up, and it’s just like yours, Karen,” he said, and handed it to me.

“Let me see it,” Karen demanded.

I took it out, glanced at it like someone who’s never seen one, and handed it to her. She immediately began entering numbers.

“We’ll do all that after dinner,” Ava said. “You know how I feel about phones at the dinner table, here and especially at a restaurant.”

Karen ignored her, finished what she was doing, and handed it back to me.

“You have my number and the other girls who are important,” she said.

I looked at Ava, whose eyes were flaming, and put it quickly back in the box.

“Thank you, Uncle Derick,” I said pointedly. He nodded.

“I swear,” Ava said, shaking her head. “Sometimes I feel as if I’m all alone here.”

No, I wanted to say. That describes me, not you.

Later, Ava calmed enough to give Karen and me compliments on our cleaning up after dinner. Karen worked hard and fast, looking forward to our retreating to her room. I knew I had to become quite creative quite quickly. I only hoped that the stories I was about to invent would be ones I wouldn’t forget in a week and get caught having lied.

There was one clear realization that would never be a lie: the only truthful moments I’d spend in this house were the hours I slept.

Now I’d have to worry that I might talk in my sleep.