Mum refused to cook, and I didn’t want to eat anything healthy, so I dragged Josh to the local ice cream parlour. Ice cream made everything better, right?
It was one of our go-to places, and I figured if anything could make him feel better for a little while, it was his favourite food.
We both grabbed sundaes, then we settled into a seat by the window to watch the world go by. It was a dismal day, so the windows were steamed up (ironic, I know), so we couldn’t see much, but I found watching people go past relaxing; a reminder that the world kept turning no matter what happened.
A little girl walked past with her parents. Every few steps, they’d pick her up and swing her, cheer, then put her down again. It was something fun I’d never done with my parents. They’d always been so busy ghost hunting when I was growing up that we’d never had the chance.
Then, my dad had been gone and my mum had all but shut everyone out. Including me.
‘Do you ever wonder what your life would’ve been like if you’d had different parents?’ I said as I watched the family. Then immediately wanted to hit myself. ‘Oh my god, I’m sorry. That was the worst thing I could’ve asked right now.’
Josh looked up from his ice cream. ‘It’s OK,’ he said, giving me a wan smile. He seemed fine about my slip up, but I still wanted to slap myself. There were kids around, though, so I figured that’d set a bad example.
‘No, I’ve never thought about of it. Why?’
I envied him. He had such a nice, normal family. Aside from his dad being an arse sometimes. He didn’t have to worry about family politics or ghosts getting in the way. Everything was just so normal for him.
‘Do you?’ he said, his gaze still on me.
I stabbed my peppermint ice cream with my spoon, while I mulled over how to phrase my response. ‘Sometimes.’
‘But then, that would mean you can’t see ghosts, wouldn’t it?’
‘I suppose. Both my parents could see ghosts, so I never knew any different. I just wish I did sometimes.’
Josh flashed me a sympathetic smile. ‘Have you ever seen him as a ghost?’
‘Once. Right after he died. He apologised for failing us, and said Mum and I had to look after each other. Then he crossed over.’
‘That sounds terrible. I’m so sorry.’ He reached over and put his hand on top of mine. Shivers went down my spine and I suppressed a smile. I didn’t want him to know his touch turned me to jelly.
‘Thanks. I mean, it was a long time ago. I was only seven. I don’t remember much.’
‘So you’ve been able to see them all this time?’
‘Yeah.’
‘It doesn’t scare you? It sounds scary.’
‘I don’t know any different. And it’s not like they can hurt me; they don’t have physical forms. It takes so much energy for them to interact with physical objects it can take them days to recover. Especially if they’re not that powerful. That’s plenty of time to exorcise them before they can do any real damage.’
‘Huh. That’s reassuring. I think.’
I chuckled, reluctantly pulling my hand away from Josh so that I could eat some more of my sundae.
‘I mean, after Dad died, Mum wouldn’t have anything to do with ghosts. She won’t even look at them when she sees them. It’s like she blames them for Dad’s death or something.’
‘But didn’t you say it was a car accident?’
‘Yeah. Maybe she’s worried I’ll find a way to communicate with him, or something.’
‘What, like a seance?’ he asked, half-laughing. He stopped himself. ‘Wait, are seances a thing?’
‘They’re a thing. Not that Mum will let me do one. She says they’re too dangerous. There’s no guarantee you’ll get the spirit you wanted to summon.’
‘But you said they can’t hurt you.’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t really get how they work. She won’t tell me. Says it’s a need-to-know basis, and I don’t need to know as I’ll never do one.’ I sighed. Seances sounded scary, but they also sounded cool. A part of me wanted to sit in on one to see what happened. Another part of me followed Mum’s fear and was worried about if the wrong ghost did respond to the summoning.
‘Haven’t you ever been tempted to do a seance and summon your dad?’ Something played across his face, as if he was considering it as a way to connect with his granddad again. My heart went out to him. I knew my mum would never let us even consider something like that.
‘Yeah. But I get where Mum’s coming from. It’s hard, knowing we could talk to Dad whenever we want to, but knowing it’s a really bad idea. Dwelling on the past doesn’t get anyone anywhere.’
‘That’s so deep,’ said Josh.
I laughed. ‘When you grow up around dead people, it sort of happens.’
‘That must’ve been rough.’
I nodded, stirring my sundae to encourage it to melt. I preferred it when it was all mushy. ‘It was. It is.’ I sighed. ‘That’s why I sometimes wonder what it would’ve been like to have a normal family, like yours.’
He scoffed. ‘My family aren’t normal.’
‘How aren’t they?’
He stabbed his ice cream with the spoon, taking a moment to answer. ‘Maybe you’re right,’ he finally said.
Of course I was right. His mum was sane. His dad was super intelligent. He had a cute younger sister. What wasn’t normal about his life? Oh. Right. Me.
‘Face it: the only weird thing about your life is that I’m in it, and you just found out I can see dead people.’
‘Well, Haley Joel Osment, I wouldn’t have you any other way.’ He met my gaze and smiled. I shuddered, looking away. How did he do that to me? How could he make my heart flutter so much, it felt like it could fly out of my chest?
‘Thanks,’ I said. My cheeks were probably crimson, but there was nothing I could do. Stupid pale skin and naturally ginger hair. Least I’d covered the latter with black dye. To Mum’s dismay, but whatever. It wasn’t her hair to dye.
‘You know you’re welcome to hang out with us whenever you want to feel normal anyway,’ said Josh.
‘Thanks. I just feel like I’m in the way sometimes, I guess.’
‘What? No!’ He reached across the table and put his hand on mine. ‘You’re always welcome at our place. I mean, you’re stuck with me as a friend anyway. So you might as well come hang out at ours.’
I laughed. His hand was still on mine, and it took all my strength to not stroke it. That felt too intimate, somehow. Like it would take it beyond the friendly, comforting gesture that he probably meant it as. ‘Even if I’m having a super weird day?’
‘Aren’t all days in your life super weird?’
‘Only most of them. Depends how many ghosts I see.’
‘Are there any in here?’
I studied the room, taking in the people around me. Ghosts looked so real sometimes, it could be hard to tell the difference. I had to stare at them for a moment to see if I could spot anyone looking translucent. The weaker they were, the more translucent they appeared. Super-weak ghosts just looked like glowing blobs or orbs, as they were too weak to maintain their original form. Most people were somewhere in the middle, neither physical-looking nor a glowing blob.
‘Yeah. There’s a dad looking emotional, watching his daughter eat ice cream with her mum.’
He jerked his head to the other side of the ice cream parlour. Of course, there was nothing for Josh to see. He just had to take my word for it. But it was true. There was a middle-aged man sitting next to a toddler, who was covering her face with ice cream, as opposed to actually eating it. It was cute and heartbreaking at the same time.
‘Can ghosts cry?’ asked Josh.
‘No, they don’t have bodily fluids. But crying is about more than how much water comes out of your eyes. It’s about facial expression, body language, the sound in someone’s voice. You know.’
Josh narrowed his eyes at me, as if he’d just noticed something about me he’d never noticed before. His studious gaze was disconcerting.
‘What?’
‘You see a lot, don’t you?’
‘You have no idea.’