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the landscape of our lives

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Driving to a meeting yesterday, I passed a young woman in a minivan who looked lost. She lingered at the stop sign far too long, looking one way, then the other. In the brief moment that I saw her face, I glimpsed both uncertainty and profound discomfort with being uncertain. Frozen in her tracks, she might have been frozen in time, for she was me twenty years ago. In my early thirties, I too was lost. I longed for approval but was certain of disapproval. I hoped to be enjoyed and not found lacking, but I felt unenjoyable and completely lacking. Somewhere, somehow, I felt I had missed the course on managing life.

Yes, I knew that the Bible says the God of the universe sings over me symphonies of delight. But my life experiences and self-loathing had rendered me deaf to his voice.

As we journey on in our becoming, we all get lost now and then. It is essential that we look up from the road and determine where we are, take note of our surroundings, check for mile markers. Context explains so much. Sure, we all lose our bearings, lose even ourselves, but we don’t want to remain lost. So I’d like to try and describe for you the setting of our lives as women. Did you know that there even is a setting, a landscape we all must navigate? This will be mighty helpful to you. Much of what you have been blaming on yourself has not been you at all. Every woman’s journey has two realties we must know and navigate—one internal, the other external.

the mystery of hormones

Yesterday morning I wanted to buy a puppy; this afternoon I wondered how many years I would get for homicide.

Am I simply nuts? Is this just the sin nature the Bible talks about, and I’m stuck with repenting of it again and again? No, my dear sister. There is an internal reality playing havoc with my world, but it is neither wounded­ness, nor sin, nor immaturity—not even a touch of insanity. There are powerful feminine tides washing to and fro inside each of us, and they are having an enormous influence on our lives—and on the way we perceive our lives.

Until the late 1900s the average life expectancy of women was forty-eight years. Most women didn’t live to experience the upheaval of menopause (though many lived in perimenopause, the difficult transition period that precedes it). Today, the average life expectancy for women is between seventy and eighty years. Most of us will not only experience menopause, we’ll go on to live a good twenty to thirty years after crossing into it.

Research regarding hormones and women’s bodies is relatively young but vastly increasing. Since women are living longer, there are more of us around asking for help and more professionals in the field taking us seriously. (You would have thought that men would have delved into this mystery long ago out of a sense of self-preservation.)

Women suffering from painful PMS or any hormonal imbalance used to be deemed merely emotional, hysterical, or unstable. Too many women today remain unaware of how their hormones are affecting their lives—emotionally, physically, and spiritually. But we don’t need to remain uninformed any longer or wonder if at certain times in our lives (or a month) we are simply going crazy. The bodies we live in and the amazing hormones that shift and flow through them help set the stage of our experience of our lives. They contribute profoundly to the landscape of our personal histories and our present realities.

four seasons

The bodies of women mirror nature. Every year we have spring, summer, autumn, and winter—four necessary seasons that will continue until the end of our time. And just as winter sometimes makes itself at home smack dab in the middle of a glorious spring week, so does springtime beauty leak into winter for a brief respite. There are four seasons, but they bleed into one another. In the same way, there are four seasons (menstrually speaking) in a woman’s life and four weeks to her cycle, but they are not always neatly separated. Some women’s cycles are as irregular as an unscrupulous politician’s voting record, and some women’s cycles function like a Swiss clock. Either way, there is much benefit for us in understanding what is going on in our bodies.

Let’s start with the four seasons. We have preadolescence when our child’s body develops at a rapid and sometimes awkward rate. These years set the foundation of our self-perception. Our heart’s deepest questions are being answered in these years. Am I loved? Am I worth loving? Am I captivating? From infants to toddlers to little girls, we are becoming ourselves, developing into the women we are today. In this season, we are fully feminine and are not yet encumbered (or blessed) by our period.

The next season of a woman’s life is the season of menses, the decades of possessing the (theoretical) ability to bear a child. Entering into this season is characterized by massive hormonal changes. It can be a difficult transition that often includes weight gain, breakouts, and titanic inner struggles. Who am I? What makes me valuable? Where do I fit in? Adolescence is hard. All the hormones being released into our bodies can make it an emotionally volatile time. Questions in our hearts continue to be answered as we settle into what becomes our womanhood. Our monthly period may be regular or come only as a complete surprise, but these years make up the longest season of a woman’s life.

The incredible capacity given to women to bring forth life carries with it a staggering honor and a high price. This is the season where most women find themselves with every period coming either as a relief or a sort of death.1

The third season of a woman’s life is known as perimenopause. During this season, which lasts up to a decade, our bodies change in ways as dramatic as when we first entered into puberty.2 For some lucky women it goes by practically unnoticed, but for many it can be agonizing. For most women, the experience falls somewhere in between. It is characterized by irregular bleeding, strong emotions, and relationships that may need to be renegotiated. Trouble sleeping falls here. Hot flashes begin here. And researchers have determined that hot flashes, previously thought to last one to two years, can last up to ten—lucky us! Oy. (I think I had my first one yesterday. I didn’t know for sure because it’s all new to me, but since I had to peel off layers of clothes, including my socks, and strip down to a light T-shirt and flip-flops to get comfortable, I hear it may have been one. Oh, and it’s fifteen degrees outside, so maybe.)

For women with children, this may also be the season when the children begin leaving home. The timing of the empty nest coincides with the slow shutting off of the oh-so-helpful mothering hormones. We begin to have thoughts more often like, Make your own *&%@ dinner, or maybe we say it. We begin to remember what we wanted to learn and become when we were young and not sidetracked by taking care of others. It’s a wonderful thing to have nourished our own gifting and desires throughout our lives, but if we have sacrificed parts of ourselves to tend to others (and who hasn’t?), this is the time when we come back to our own becoming. God’s timing in all of it is amazing.

The fourth season of a woman’s life is called menopause, when we no longer have menstrual cycles, we can no longer get pregnant, and we don’t need to worry about staining our pants. Many women live twenty to thirty years in what is sometimes called post-menopause. This season of life can be a marvelous one, with women stepping into a fuller expression of themselves. Creativity soars. Desires laid aside in the interest of raising a family resurface with vigor. Self-doubt and self-editing no longer hold the power they may have held when we were younger and less assured, and many women come to enjoy a previously unknown depth of self-appreciation. This is a really wonderful season.

The good news is that with God, we don’t have to wait until we reach menopause in order to be a woman whose soul is at peace with who she is, free from the burden of other people’s opinions and offering her unique and God-given strength.

life in a month

I’ll just go ahead and admit that my favorite week of my menstrual cycle is the first one. I have energy and a positive attitude. I make plans to throw a party, exercise with gusto, and believe all the fabulous things God says about me in the Bible with more fervor than I did just a few days ago. Come on over and we’ll bake a cake and then we’ll take it to a homeless shelter. Yeah, baby.

My hormones are doing their life-bringing thing. I would like to believe that this version of myself is the truest me, but I’ll still be me in three weeks when the party guests begin to arrive and I don’t want them coming over to my house anymore. It’s all me. The ups and downs, the highs and lows—and it’s all you, too.

There are four weeks in a woman’s cycle. Twenty-eight days. In the first week, estrogen is released and our ovaries begin work on an egg cell. Estrogen also helps to release other marvelous things in our brains like dopamine and serotonin. We are happier. Our energy level is at its highest, and if our husband winks at us before bedtime, we are very likely to wink back. Or wink first. This is our “You go, girl!” week.

When the second week begins, things change. Estrogen levels off and then declines. We are still energetic, strong, and creative, just perhaps not so manic. Then ovulation occurs. Estrogen rises slightly, and progesterone increases. The egg travels down the fallopian tube in anticipation of a chance encounter. (“Love was just a glance away, a warm embracing dance away.”3) We are more peaceful inside and also perhaps more sexually assertive. But then our energy begins to lessen. Our emotions may become a bit conflicted.

In the third week, if no embryo was fertilized, our brains signal estrogen and progesterone to vacate the building. Emotions slide a little bit. Blood sugar levels slide too. We aren’t feeling our confident selves as easily. For a few days, the empty space created by the departing hormones leaves many women feeling empty as well. This is not the ideal time to have a large gathering in your home.

Sometime during the fourth week, if we aren’t pregnant, both estrogen and progesterone leave, and so does the endometrial lining that formed in our uterus to prepare a cozy place for an embryo. Our period begins. Chocolate is irresistible. Commercials make us weepy. This is when we may wish we could unplug the phone and unplug from our life for a couple of days. These are the days to allow ourselves to slow down, take an afternoon nap, journal. A bubble bath may sound mighty nice. And then the crocus blooms. The daffodils make their happy appearance. Spring comes again, and hope rises. The cycle begins again.

See, you’re not crazy! My menstrual cycles are ending, and I am just beginning to learn about them. Cycles have affected my moods for forty years, and just now I am learning that mood fluctuations are normal. I’ve felt crazy. Broken. Dismissable. Why didn’t I chart them week by week before? (Dear sister, if you haven’t practiced this, please chart your cycle. Make notes in your calendar each month so you know where you are. Look up, and take note of the signposts. You’re not lost; you’re in your third week, that’s all.)

I have tried to live apart from my body, ignoring its cries for tending. I have tried to live apart from my emotions, ignoring their pleas for attention. It has not been a good choice. I’ve been living disconnected from my very self. I am my body just as much as I am my spirit, my soul, my emotions, my dreams, my desires, and my sense of humor. So honestly, right at this moment, I am not ignoring my very self. I will confess that I am low, tired, and my breasts feel heavy and sore. And because of what I’ve learned, I now know that this does not mean I am:

Depressed

Lost

Confused

Overwhelmed

Nuts

Making no headway

Moody

Forever stuck

It means my estrogen and progesterone are low. That’s all. Isn’t that a relief?

I am choosing to pray, asking Jesus to help me be kind to myself and to others, to allow myself to be tired and low. This is a normal part of being a woman. And yes, I do like the other weeks of the month much better. In my I-can-do-it-all week I want to write, speak, minister, experience more of the Holy Spirit, bring Jesus’s healing, and paint a room. Today I don’t want any of that. I want hot chocolate, bed, a movie, popcorn, and nobody to talk to me unless they’re bringing me pillows.

I am no expert on hormones, but there are experts available to us, and it is supremely important that we as women honor ourselves and take the time to discover what is going on in our bodies and when. Hormones affect us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. For some of us the effect is painful and emotionally damaging. But we do not need to suffer by remaining alone in it. There is help available to us on many fronts. Talk to a friend, a pastor, a counselor, a doctor. See a naturopath, a gynecologist, a hormone specialist. And lean into God. Press in. The difficult days of each month can become a respite of hiding our hearts in our God, who always understands us and loves us endlessly. There is grace here. There is mercy here. For every one of us.

But let us begin here: do not curse yourself by cursing your body or your femininity. To be a woman is a glorious thing. Yes, we bear a suffering that men do not know. This is not a reason to envy them or to curse ourselves. (By the way, you curse yourself when you say things like, “I hate my body; I hate my period; I hate hormones; I wish I was a man.”) Healing here begins with blessing:

I bless my body. I thank you, God, for making me a woman. I accept my body and my femininity as a gift. I bless these hormones inside me. I consecrate my feminine body to the Lord Jesus Christ; I consecrate my hormones to him. Jesus, come and bring grace and healing here. Speak peace to the storm within me just as you calmed the sea. Come and bless my femininity, and teach me to understand how you have made me and how to live with myself and the rhythms of my body.

Now, this was a brief glimpse at the internal setting of every woman’s life. Time to turn our attention to the external landscape we all share. It might be more powerful than hormones, and I’ll guarantee you that it’s having a mighty impact on many an unaware woman.

the war around us

I recently read a story about a twelve-year-old girl in Ethiopia who had been abducted by men who planned to force her into marrying one of them. She’d been missing for a week when she was found. Terrified and bloody after having been severely beaten, the girl was being guarded by three lions that had come to her rescue and chased her captors away. Three man-eating lions that would normally attack people had miraculously saved her!4

I love this story of another trinity coming to one in need. But after reading it, I learned that kidnapping and abusing girls in order to get them to marry is a common practice in Ethiopia. The United Nations estimates that more than 70 percent of marriages in Ethiopia come into being by abduction.

I’m not picking on Ethiopia here. Its history and current state of affairs mirror way too many other countries. The statistics on suffering in the world are mind numbing. But here is the story of one girl. I am amazed and grateful for this rescue and grieved for the millions of other girls who don’t experience rescue themselves.

Most little girls at some point dream of living in a fairy tale. The big surprise when we grow up is not that the fairy tale was a myth but that it is far more dangerous than we thought. We do live in a fairy tale, but it often seems as if both the dragon and the wicked witch are winning. (Sometimes we feel that we are the dragon—that’s the internal monthly battle, usually around week three.) But let me say with utmost seriousness, there is a battle going on around us every single moment of our waking and sleeping. The external landscape that we share is in the midst of a battle not only between good and evil but between life and death.

Things are not what they were meant to be. East of Eden, we have kept moving east and come all the way ’round, finding the garden utterly lost and cruelly unrecognizable. We were all born into this world. We came in gasping for air, and we are gasping still. It’s a tough place to make a living, a hard place to make a life. Fire and ice. Beauty and terror. Pain and healing. Intertwined.

The good news is that Life wins out. Life has already won out. Love has won out. But the battlefield remains where we find ourselves, and the setting of the battle is a world that fiercely hates women. God loves women. Jesus loves women. The Enemy, the Devil, has women in his crosshairs.

Not a cheery thought but one necessary to face. Your life’s journey runs through unfriendly terrain. You knew this already. The smoke from the heavenly engagement going on all around us affects our watery eyes and our labored breathing like smog. With mortars flying, aimed at our heart, we need to name it. So much of the sorrow in our lives finds its roots in misogyny.

the hatred of women

Misogyny: a hatred of women. From Greek misein “to hate” + gynē “woman.”5

The Greek philosopher Aristotle lived three hundred years before Christ and had a huge effect on the world as we know it. He believed that women exist as natural deformations or imperfect males.6 He was not alone in his belief, and that belief has had an effect. That’s the world you were born into. Misogyny colors our world, and the colors have bled into your life. Recognizing it helps us understand our life and navigate through it.

Misogyny is the hatred of women and everything female. It was birthed at the fall of man and has found its home not only in men but in women, too. It manifests itself in many different ways—from jokes to pornography to sex trafficking to the self-contempt a woman feels for her own body. Why is plastic surgery now common practice? Anorexia, bulimia, and binging all find their roots in self-loathing, in misogyny. The history of our world is rampant with damage, oppression, diminishment, contempt, and fear aimed at women.

When Jesus came onto the scene he turned misogyny on its head. A rabbi at that time wouldn’t speak to a woman in public, not even his own wife (this is still true for orthodox rabbis). Even today, an orthodox Jewish man is forbidden to touch or be touched by any woman who is not his wife or a close family relation. Jesus didn’t abide by those rules. During his ministry Jesus engaged with women many times. He spoke to them. He touched them. He taught them. He esteemed them. He had women minister to him physically, touching him, washing his feet, anointing him with oil and with their tears. He had women disciples traveling with him, supporting him, learning from him, and “sitting at his feet.” If we, the church, the body of Christ, had followed the example that Jesus had set instead of the traditions of men held captive to sin and the fall, we would have a much higher history here.

But misogyny got into the church. A long time ago. Many a Scripture-filled sermon has been preached throughout the centuries, advocating the suppression of women. We need to understand that the Bible records information and cultural practices that it does not support. The Bible describes in detail many acts of sin, but it does not endorse those acts. So it is with slavery—the Bible acknowledges it but does not endorse it. Yet slavery was supported from many pulpits in nineteenth-century America with sermons quoting Scripture. In the same way, Paul’s words about women have too often been twisted to serve the oppression of women—far from his intention.

The church has been horrifically skewed regarding women. It has taught that women are the source of evil, that sex itself is evil. Some churches continue to teach that the fall of man came because of Eve’s wickedness and that she and all women after her are temptresses. Churches have taught that women can’t teach, women can’t speak in church, women can’t cut their hair. Women need to cover their bodies, their faces, their heads. They should stay quiet, stay separate from men, and really should just stay home. Women can’t own property or vote or testify in court or travel alone. Women can’t go to school because they simply aren’t worth educating.

The good news is, it’s changing. The truth also is that Christianity has done more to elevate the status of women than any other movement in history.

But in far too many cultures it is not changing at all. Yes, “we’ve come a long way, baby,” but we’ve got a long way to go. Misogyny is fierce. It has come to us through people and governments and cultures and religions and nations. It comes through men. It comes through women. It can even come through little girls.

Think back to the playground. Little girls can be catty, cruel, and competitive. Generally speaking, boys slug each other and five minutes later have made up and moved on. Girls are laying strategies for revenge. They wound with sophistication and deadly words.

Women compete with each other for the attention of men. How many women have sacrificed their best friend on the altar of “boyfriend”? Many women are threatened by another woman’s beauty, intelligence, and grace. We walk into a room and unconsciously size up all the other women in the room. We quickly judge where we fit in the hierarchy of attraction (worth) without even being aware that we have done it. That behavior finds its roots in misogyny. Remember, misogyny is hatred. Whether we are aware of it or not, when we hate women, we are hating ourselves, cooperating with the Enemy, and perpetuating grave damage. To hate, Jesus said, is to murder.

So of course misogyny can lead to physical acts of violence. From women. From men. In 2 Samuel we read:

No sooner had Amnon raped her than he hated her—an immense hatred. The hatred that he felt for her was greater than the love he’d had for her. (2 Sam. 13:15 MSG)

Amnon, son of King David, fell in love with his beautiful half-sister Tamar and was frustrated “to the point of illness” that she was out of his reach. On the counsel of a friend, Amnon pretended to be bedridden with sickness and requested that Tamar be sent to care for him. Once Tamar was in his room, Amnon sent all the others away and asked her to come to bed with him. When Tamar refused, pleading with him to consider her humanity and his, Amnon raped her. After satisfying himself and devouring her beauty, Amnon’s “love” immediately turned to hatred.

Sam Jolman, a counselor who blogs about men’s issues, connects lust with misogyny:

As Dan Allender says, “Lust is not about sex. It’s about power.” Lust is a man’s attempt to dominate a woman. To strip her of her power. Rape is the obvious picture of this. Rape has nothing to do with sex. The pleasure in rape lies in the momentary experience of power. Notice how the savage brutality of war and genocide always involves murdering men and raping women. These are not lonely soldiers looking for a little taste of love, but savages looking to slake their thirst for power.7

As is true for so many of you reading, my story includes sexual assault. One instance occurred when I was twenty. A man followed me into a restaurant bathroom, locked the door behind him, and tried to force himself on me. I fought him. He ended up pinning me between the commode and the wall and pleasured himself. After climaxing, he released me and yelled, “Look what you made me do! Look what you made me do!” Then he left.

Look what you made me do. He blamed me for his sin, his hatred. That is not an uncommon slant of reality.

But let us be careful not to fall into blaming or hating men. May it never be! Men are to be esteemed. And so are women. Masculinity is to be relished. Celebrated. Honored. Welcomed. And so is femininity. The sorrow men reaped at the fall includes their separation from God and their separation from their ezer. God created Eve to be Adam’s ezer, the Hebrew word in Genesis 2:18 that means his lifesaver, his counterpart, the one whom he literally cannot live and flourish without. God’s intention was for men and women to support and complete each other, to be one in purpose, in mission, in love. But the fall came, and with it came division and sorrow beyond telling. Though much of the sorrow in our lives flows from human beings, people are not the enemy. Women are not the enemy. Men are not the enemy. Satan is the Enemy.

the true cause

Two children are sold into the human sex trade every minute, with nearly two million children forced into the worldwide sex trade each year.8 Eighty percent of those trafficking victims are women and girls. And human trafficking is not a problem only with other countries—it is rampant in the United States as well. Human trafficking was expected to be the number-one crime in America in 2012. The United States is the number-one destination for sex tourism.9

Or how about this? Eighty percent of pornography that floods the world is rated as “hard-core” porn.10 When most of us think of pornography, what comes to mind is “soft” porn. Hard-core pornography includes child pornography, sado-masochistic pornography, insanely beyond-wicked pornography. All aimed to destroy the hearts of every person coming near it.

The source of all this hatred and sorrow is not men, not the church, not even governments or systems of injustice. Scripture makes it very clear that the source of evil is the Evil One himself:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Eph. 6:12)

Evil is rampant. And it is far too easy to blame people, organizations, movements, the church, or political systems. But that will never change things because that is a naive understanding of the world. Jesus called Satan the prince of this world. Satan is the prince of darkness, whose sole aim is to steal, kill, and destroy life in all its forms, and he has power here. He has power here on earth, where and when the kingdom of God is not being enforced or advanced. He is the source of the hatred of women, the hatred you have endured. But let us remember: Jesus has won all victory through his crucifixion, resurrection, and ascension. All authority in heaven and on earth has been given back to him, where it rightly belongs. And then Jesus gave it to us.

I’ll have more to say about this in a coming chapter. For now let us acknowledge two things:

There is great evil in the world, my sister, and much of it is directed at women.

The source of that evil is not men, or women, but Satan.

If you will accept this, you can not only make leaps forward in understanding your life, but you can find your way through the battle to the goodness God has for you and the goodness he wants to bring through you.

the way forward is love

Just as we cannot overcome our feminine bodies by hating them, we cannot overcome misogyny by hating women, or men. When we hate women, we hate ourselves. When we diminish the role of women, we diminish ourselves. When we are jealous, envious, slandering other women, we join the Enemy’s assault on them. In doing those things we come into agreement with the Enemy of our hearts and of God by saying that what God has made is not good. It’s time to stop doing that. The way to navigate the external battle begins with love. Not blaming, not finger-pointing, but love.

Yes, the roles that have been dominated in the past by the female persuasion are the roles that are less valued by our society. Providing the backbone of our world and paid ridiculously low salaries are teachers, nurses, caregivers, professional assistants, you name it. Their work is diminished. The role of mother has been minimized as well. “Do you work?” means “Do you have a real job that requires something of you, or do you just stay home and bake cookies all day?”

Puhlease.

But we do not overcome this subtle misogyny by trying to be men any more than we overcome our feminine bodies by trying to “unsex ourselves” as Lady Macbeth attempted. Let us begin by celebrating the role we play; let us champion these callings and celebrate them every way we can. The truth is that who we are as women, what we bring, and the role that is ours to play in the world, in the kingdom of God, and in the lives of men, women, and children are of immeasurable worth and power.

The kingdom of God will not advance as it needs to advance without women rising up and playing their role. The transformation and healing of a man requires the presence, strength, and mercy of a woman. Men will not become the men they are meant to be without godly women pouring into their lives. Women will not become who they are meant to be without the strength, encouragement, and wisdom of other women nurturing their lives. Yes, it’s been hard. But that’s because you are so vitally needed. Your valiant feminine heart is needed today in the lives of those you live with, work with, and love. The hour is late.

Women are image bearers of God. Women are coheirs with Christ. Women are valued, worthy, powerful, and needed. There is a reason the Enemy fears women and has poured his hatred onto our very existence. Let him be afraid, then. For “we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Cor. 4:8–9). We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us, and we will not be overcome. God is our strength. Jesus is our defender. The Holy Spirit is our portion. And in the name of our God and Savior, we will choose to love him. We will choose to bow down in surrendered worship to our God. And by the power of Christ in us, we will choose to rise up and be women of God, bringing his kingdom in unyielding and merciful strength.

notes

1. For more on the subject, I highly recommend Lorraine Pintus, Jump off the Hormone Swing: Fly through the Physical, Mental and Spiritual Symptoms of PMS and Perimenopause (Chicago: Moody, 2011); and Christiane Northrup, MD, The Wisdom of Menopause: Creating Physical and Emotional Health during the Change (New York: Bantam, 2012).

2. Here I recommend Jean Lush and Patricia H. Rushford, Emotional Phases of a Woman’s Life (Old Tappan, NJ: Revell, 1987).

3. Frank Sinatra, “Strangers in the Night,” Strangers in the Night © 1966 Reprise.

4. “Ethiopian Girl Reportedly Guarded by Lions,” MSNBC, June 21, 2005, www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8305836/ns/world_news-africa/t/ethiopian-girl-reportedly-guarded-lions/#.UI78qLRpfWE.

5. “Misogyny,” Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition, s.v. “misogyny,” www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misogyny (accessed May 31, 2012).

6. Michael Flood, International Encyclopedia of Men and Masculinities (New York: Routledge, 2007), 443.

7. Sam Jolman, “Lust, Part 2: The Hangover,” www.samjolman.com, November 20, 2011, www.samjolman.com/lust-part-2-the-hangover.

8. Compassion Magazine, fall 2001, 7.

9. Julie Baumgardner, “Human Trafficking,” Timesfreepress.com, April 15, 2012, www.timesfreepress.com/news/2012/apr/15/041512e2-human-trafficking/.

10. Jolman, “Lust, Part 2: The Hangover.”