“...so Sierra and I decided to bury the body behind the barn and start up a new life in Mexico.”
Will blinked, realizing that at some point his friend had stopped talking about livestock breeding programs. “What?”
“Oh, good.” Jarrett tipped back his cowboy hat. “You’ve rejoined the conversation.”
“Sorry,” Will mumbled. When he’d agreed to come to the ranch today and help Jarrett repair fencing, he hadn’t known Tommy would keep him up the night before. The kid was cutting his first tooth, which had led to a lot of drooling. And a lot of crying. When he’d left the baby up at the ranch house for Jarrett’s sister to watch, Will had felt equal parts relieved by the break and guilty for inflicting the teething child on someone else. But Vicki Ross was tough. She’d assured him that, if she could learn to walk again after months in a wheelchair, she could handle a fussy infant for a couple of hours.
“Sure you’re up for this?” Jarrett asked, pausing before swinging the hammer toward the post Will held steady. “I understand if you need to go. You look rough.”
“I’ll survive. Tommy and I are going to Megan’s for dinner, and she has a way with him. She— What?” He narrowed his eyes at his friend’s smirk.
“The two of you made a very cute couple at your brother’s wedding.”
“Did you just call me cute? Let me see that hammer a minute.”
“Admit it, you’re crazy about her.”
“I don’t know what I am.” It did seem crazy that he was so excited about seeing her tonight even though they probably wouldn’t have any real alone time, not with four kids under four. He’d be lucky if he got to steal a single kiss. And maybe it was a little crazy that he was spending all his free time with a woman who represented everything he wanted to postpone—family, commitment, permanence. They were even planning to go to Christmas Eve service together later this week.
Jarrett regarded him knowingly. “Do you remember when Sierra first came to Cupid’s Bow?”
“I remember that you crashed our one and only date.”
“I spent a lot of time fighting my feelings when it would have been better for everyone involved if I’d owned up to them sooner.”
“I’m not ‘fighting’ anything. I love being with Megan, and she knows that. But her life is complicated. And, until Amy comes back, so is mine. I barely had two solid hours of sleep last night and you want me to analyze my emotions?” He gave his friend a look of disgust. “Shut up and swing the damn hammer, already.”
* * *
MEGAN COULDN’T BELIEVE that it was already Christmas Eve. Where did December go? It had been a memorable month, full of surprises.
Her daughters did not share her bemusement. They were so full of excitement that they were practically ricocheting off the walls. The only way she got them to sit still long enough to dress them and fix their hair for church tonight was to suggest that it might not be too late for Santa to change his mind about who was on the naughty list. While she’d privately thought that the matching, lacy green Christmas dresses her mother had bought the triplets were a little impractical, Megan had to admit that her daughters looked great. Lily had a white bow in her hair, gleaming against her dark curls, and Daisy had a bright red one. Megan was still trying to situate a sparkly silver bow on Iris’s head when the doorbell rang. The rich, melodious tones pealing through the house made her smile; fixing the doorbell was just one of the many wonderful things Will had done for her.
She opened the door to find him standing with the car seat in one hand and a red mesh bag in the other. Stretching up on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. “Merry Christmas.” She had wondered more than once, if she weren’t expecting Spencer tomorrow, would Will have invited her and the girls to spend Christmas with his family? And would she have said yes? She adored the Trents, who had all been very welcoming to her, but a shared family holiday seemed like a serious step.
Trying not to overanalyze her own feelings or what was happening between her and Will, she stepped back and said lightly, “Am I running late, or are you very early? I’m not ready yet.”
His gaze slid over her in an admiring caress. “What more do you need to do? I don’t think it’s possible for a woman to be more beautiful than you already are.”
She grinned, raising the hem of her red-and-black skirt just enough so that he could see her bare toes. “For starters, I should probably put on shoes.”
“We still have plenty of time,” he said over the girls’ exuberant greetings. “I did come over early. Since I don’t think I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, I was hoping I could give you and the girls your presents now.”
“You didn’t have to get us gifts. You’ve already cleaned the gutters, fixed the doorbell and installed a carbon monoxide detector.” Earlier in the week, he’d tested the smoke alarm batteries, looked up reports on her microwave model and practiced a fire drill with the girls that was both serious enough to educate them and lighthearted enough not to give them nightmares.
He tried to look stern, but his eyes were twinkling. “After the hours I spent in a crowded mall—”
“Cupid’s Bow doesn’t have a mall.”
“Fine. After the hours I spent in the toy store on Main Street—”
“Hours?”
“Look, woman, do you want your gifts or not?”
She laughed. “As it happens, we have a few small things for you, too.” In theory, they could have exchanged gifts after service tonight, but she would already have her hands full trying to get the girls to settle down for bed. Best to get the gift-giving excitement out of the way now.
They all gathered in the living room, and Will unbuckled Tommy from his car seat so that he could scoot around on the floor. “I already let Tommy open one of his gifts, so he could wear it tonight.” That explained the long-sleeved onesie drawn to look like a miniature suit, complete with a Christmas tie.
“Very debonair.” She eyed Will’s dark button-down shirt and black slacks. “You clean up pretty well, too.” Seeing him dressed more formally than usual brought back memories of Cole’s wedding night, of the night she’d spent in Will’s arms. Longing trembled through her.
Luckily, her daughters were there to play chaperone, interrupting before Megan’s desire got out of hand. “Mr. Will! I made this for you.” Daisy thrust a gift bag toward him. “Open! Open!” Lily and Iris were tripping over each other, both trying to deliver their presents, as well.
“Hold on. How about we let Mr. Will sit down first?” Glad for the excuse to touch him, she took Will’s hand and led him to the sofa. “You girls be careful not to step on baby Tommy.”
In somewhat orderly fashion—or as close as they were going to get with Christmas only hours away—the girls lined up their gifts at Will’s feet. Before he’d even finished opening Daisy’s, she instructed, “Eat it! It’s yummy.” On the plate inside the bag, she’d arranged a graham cracker fire engine with cookie wheels, a red licorice ladder and a gumdrop siren.
“If she says it’s yummy, she knows what she’s talking about,” Megan said. “She did a lot of taste-testing during this project.”
Daisy was already crawling into his lap. “Do you like it, Mr. Will? The gumdrop is my favorite. Gumdrops are yummy.” She eyed the edible fire truck pointedly, and Will laughed.
“I love my present,” he assured her. “But somehow I don’t think it’s going to last long.”
“Open mine!” Iris instructed, climbing onto the couch and wiggling in next to her sister.
Her gift was an art project they’d created by covering her entire hand with red finger paint. She’d made a handprint on paper, then she’d drawn hats and faces on each finger so that it looked like five firemen working together to operate a hose.
“This is wonderful,” Will said to her with a hug. “I’m going to ask the captain if we can hang this up at the station.” Then he moved on to Lily’s gift.
She was watching with wide eyes and her thumb in her mouth. “Faw the Cwistmas twee.”
Megan had helped her daughter make an ornament out of clay. It was a firefighter’s hat that Lily had painted red; Megan had carefully written Will’s last name and number on it. He looked genuinely touched as he thanked the little girl. Lily shifted from foot to foot as if considering coming closer for a snuggle, like her sisters had. She compromised by taking a few steps closer, then sitting on the floor.
“I have a gift for you, too,” Megan said, “but compared to what the girls did, it’s a little lame.” Every time she’d tried to think about what to get Will, she’d faltered. All of her ideas had either seemed too generic for a man who’d seen her naked or too personal, implying too much of a connection or future. Will had made it clear that he didn’t want to get too serious about anyone right now, and she didn’t want him to feel pressured.
Are you really respecting his feelings? Or are your protecting your own? As long as she told herself that she wasn’t too seriously involved, that she wasn’t in over her head, maybe she could keep from getting hurt.
Will opened the envelope she’d handed him and grinned at the Smoky Pig gift certificate. “There is never anything lame about giving a Texas man the gift of barbecue.” He reached past Iris to get the mesh bag from the end table. “Now it’s my turn to pass out presents!” He gave the girls three identically wrapped, lumpy packages with uneven seams and too much tape. The extra adhesive didn’t slow down the triplets as they tore into the paper.
Shouts of joy echoed through the living room, and all of Megan’s daughters were talking at once. “Look, Mama!”
“It’s so cute.”
“Thank you, Mistah Will.” Lily was cuddling an oversize stuffed dog; from the look on her face, it was clear her new best friend would be riding with them to church and no doubt sleeping next to her tonight.
Iris held an adorable plush snowman, and Will reached over to ruffle her curls. “Like you said, Christmas should have snow.” Iris nodded emphatically.
He’d done an excellent job shopping for her girls, but it was the stuffed animal Daisy was snuggling that was pure genius. Will had bought her a snarling green T. rex; he’d tied an incongruous purple bow, Daisy’s favorite color, around its neck.
“Heads up.” Will tossed a lumpy package in Megan’s direction, his expression mischievous. “I have one for you, too.”
When Megan unwrapped the adorable stuffed hedgehog, she laughed out loud.
Will winked at her. “Merry Christmas, Prickly. Oh, and I almost forgot...” He fished a smaller, professionally wrapped box out of the bag and stood to give it to her.
Inside was a beautiful silver bracelet with three charms depicting a daisy, a lily and an iris. Tears pricked her eyes. “This is gorgeous. Help me put it on?” With a couple of tries, she could’ve managed it herself, but she ached for the physical contact. He fastened the delicate chain around her wrist, then surreptitiously pressed a kiss to her palm while the girls were distracted “introducing” their new stuffed animals to each other. Afterward, Megan made Tommy a bottle to take with them while Will and the girls snacked on licorice and cookies. There was a lot of giggling and chattering as everyone climbed into the van, full of sugar and holiday spirit.
The parking lot of the church was packed, and by the time they dropped off the girls and Tommy in their age-respective nursery rooms, Megan could hear the strains of music that signaled service was starting. She walked faster toward the staircase that led up to the sanctuary.
“Rats,” she muttered, “we’re late.”
Will took her hand. “Don’t worry, Kate and Cole are saving us seats. And since we’re late already...” He surprised her by lightly pressing her against the wall and stealing a brief but thorough kiss.
When he released her, she was breathless. “I’m not sure you’re supposed to do that here.”
“I thank God for bringing you into my life, and I’d like to think He wouldn’t mind my expressing appreciation.” He gave her a boyish grin. “Now, come on, slowpoke, or we won’t make it before the final hymn.”
Fingers laced together, both wearing matching smiles, they hurried up the steps. He slipped into the sanctuary while the congregation was standing to sing “O Come, All Ye Faithful.” The Trent family all squished closer together to make room for Megan and Will in the pew. Kate flashed her a smile that was both welcoming and perceptive, as if she somehow knew about the stolen kiss. Megan darted a glance toward Will to make sure none of her lipstick was on him. Last Christmas, she’d been the mother of two-year-olds, packing to move into a new house. She’d been so tired she barely had the energy to wrap gifts, simply shoving toys into red and green bags. But now here she was, in a new town and a new life, happier than she would’ve believed possible.
Life felt almost too good to be true, which made the cautious divorcée in her nervous.
“Everything okay?” Will whispered.
She blinked. Everyone around her was standing for fellowship greeting, shaking hands and exchanging hugs. Megan hadn’t even realized it was time to rise. Belatedly, she stood. “Fine.” After that, she forced herself to push away her doubts and focus on the adorable Nativity pageant being performed by five-, six-and seven-year-olds. One of Cole’s daughters was an angel, the other was a sheep who kept baa-ing with gusto. Finally, service concluded with every member of the congregation lighting a candle and singing an a cappella version of “Silent Night.” The simple beauty of the moment made Megan feel weepy.
Rather than rush immediately for the exit once service was finished, Will’s family waited for the crowd to thin out. Megan took the opportunity to say hello to each of the Trents, since she’d come in too late to chat with them before church started.
Will’s father surprised her with a large bear hug. “Wish you could join us tomorrow. Your presence would be an added touch of class.”
Gayle raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying I don’t keep a dignified home?”
He laughed. “I’m saying we need all the help we can get to counterbalance Jace.”
“Hey!” Will’s younger brother objected.
Cole gave him a reproving look. “You once tried to burp ‘Deck the Halls.’”
“I was a teenager.”
“It was a week before your twentieth birthday.”
“Nineteen is a teenager.”
Megan chuckled at their brotherly gibing. Christmas at the Trent house sounded, if possible, even more lively than Christmas with the triplets. Speaking of which... “I’d better hurry to the nursery.” Now that other parents were starting to pick up their kids, her daughters were probably getting antsy to go home and put out cookies for Santa.
Will told his family he would see them all the next day, then headed for a side door. It wasn’t easy to keep up with his long-legged stride.
“Are you trying to ditch me?” she teased.
He immediately slowed, flashing her an apologetic grin. “Hey, you’re the one who said we needed to hurry.”
“I meant more of a moderate hurry. Less emergency building evacuation, more spirited amble.”
He laughed as they rounded the corner to the three-year-old nursery room. Lily, coloring a picture just inside the door, glanced up at the sound. A huge grin spread across her face, her expression as bright as Christmas morning. “Mistah Will!” Her crayon fell to the floor as she ran toward him, arms outstretched and hair bow crooked.
He automatically knelt down to catch her, wrapping her in his strong arms. Suddenly, Megan couldn’t breathe past the lump in her throat. Noticing the commotion, Daisy and Iris came running, too. Will folded them all into a group hug. Even though Lily was already squirming away to retrieve her stuffed dog and her picture, the fact remained that Megan’s reserved daughter had sprinted toward Will with the kind of unrestrained adoration she’d only shown for a handful of people in her life. The triplets loved him.
And so do I.
Maybe, under much different circumstances, she would’ve felt joy at the revelation. But all of her emotional resources were currently tied up trying to stave off blind panic. Will Trent was a wonderful man, perhaps even the best one she’d ever met. But he wanted his bachelor freedom, had talked about dodging the bullet of serious commitment. She already had a failed marriage behind her in which she’d been more invested in the relationship than the man who’d sworn to love her; she wouldn’t set herself up for that kind of hurt again.
Worse, she wasn’t the only one who stood to get hurt. Her mother’s warnings echoed in her ears. Megan had daughters to look after, to shield from pain. They were already so attached to him, more excited about Will’s visits than seeing their own father tomorrow. How devastated would they be when Megan scared Will off by getting too serious, too fast?
I’m supposed to protect them.
She should have done a better job protecting her heart. Instead, whether he knew it or not, she’d handed it over to Will, just as heedlessly as Lily had barreled into his arms.
* * *
WILL EXCHANGED NODS with people he’d known all his life, seeing the amusement on some of their faces at the sight of him carrying a baby and surrounded by preschoolers. If anyone had told me a month ago, I never would’ve believed them. Even now he suspected that the reason he didn’t feel more self-conscious was because the situation was temporary. He cared a lot about Tommy, would be willing to risk his own life to save the baby’s, but that didn’t mean he was ready to have a baby.
Still, the thought of someday building a family no longer seemed as far-fetched as it had in recent months.
Once they reached the parking lot, Megan handed him the keys. “Do you mind driving? I...have a bit of a headache.”
That explained how preoccupied she’d seemed during the church service and the pained expression on her face as they exited the building. With the girls chattering, it was easy to miss how quiet Megan had become, but he’d started to wonder if something was bothering her.
“Of course I’ll drive.” Maybe when they got back to her place, he could make her a cup of tea or help her get the girls ready for bed.
He’d always liked the triplets; they reminded him of his beloved nieces. But for a moment back there, when little Lily had tackle-hugged him, his usual affection had amplified into something even more powerful and poignant. He suddenly realized that even though he’d brought their Christmas presents over tonight, his holiday tomorrow wouldn’t feel complete if he didn’t see them.
That’s you being selfish. The girls almost never got to spend time with their father, and Will didn’t have any right to interrupt their family holiday. But Megan had mentioned that Spencer was staying in a hotel, so maybe if Will waited until—
“You aren’t expecting your ex tonight, are you?” Will squinted at the car parked in their driveway. It was difficult to tell in the dark, but he didn’t think it belonged to anyone he knew.
“Definitely not.” Megan straightened in her seat, her expression alarmed, as if she couldn’t bear the thought of dealing with Spencer right now. “That doesn’t look like his car. Although I suppose it could be Bonnie’s.”
As Will turned into the driveway, he spotted a figure on his front porch. He did a double take, not believing his eyes at first. “It’s Amy.”
She rushed down to meet them, seeming to vibrate with nervous energy as she waited for him to open his door. She looked as if she’d gained a few healthy pounds in the last few weeks, no longer gaunt. Her expression was anxious, but her gaze was bright and alert. He hadn’t realized until just then how accustomed he’d become to the glazed look of defeat in her eyes.
Happy for her and for the progress she’d made, he enveloped her in a heartfelt hug. “Welcome back! I wish I’d known you were coming. I would’ve left you a key, instead of you sitting out in the cold.”
“I barely felt it. I was too excited about seeing Tommy again.” Her voice broke a little as she said her son’s name. “I know I still have work to do in rehab, but I just could not miss his first Christmas.”
The girls were piling out of the van now, demanding to know who Amy was.
“This is Tommy’s mama,” Megan explained, “and we should go inside so that she and Mr. Will can talk.”
Amy rounded the car to hug Megan, too. “Will said you helped take care of my son. Thank you.” Tears were starting to spill, and Will tried to catch Megan’s eye, to signal that she should stay. He wasn’t great with crying females.
Case in point, last time he’d had a crying woman in his house, she’d fled, leaving him with a baby for three weeks.
“Don’t mention it,” Megan said gently. “He’s a sweetie pie.”
Will had reached into the car to unbuckle Tommy from his seat. Should he tell Amy that the baby was crawling now, or just let her see for herself? They should also talk about Dr. Ingram adding cereal to Tommy’s diet. “Here.” He turned to Amy. “There’s someone who I’m sure would very much like to see you.”
Cradling her son against her, Amy burst into full-fledged sobs.
Casting a sympathetic glance in the younger woman’s direction, Megan told Will, “Take that girl inside and get her a glass of water and a box of tissues. Maybe some hot chocolate, if you have any.”
He nodded. “I’m so glad she’s back.” If she had missed her son’s first Christmas, he doubted she ever would have forgiven herself, even if Tommy was too young to remember it later.
“I’ll bet. Your life is finally yours again.”
He grinned at that, pleased by the prospect of not being covered in cereal or having to change diapers at four in the morning. “Just in the nick of time.” His place was barely baby-proofed enough for crawling; he couldn’t imagine how much trickier parenting would become once Tommy attempted to walk.
Megan’s expression was pained, and his relief at Amy’s return momentarily took a backseat to concern. Her headache was obviously getting worse. “Are you going to be okay? I can come over after Amy leaves if you need—”
“I can take care of myself.”
It was the prickliest she’d sounded in weeks, and he couldn’t help wondering if her crankiness was due solely to a throbbing skull. He’d almost detected...anger?
“Megan, did I do something wrong?”
“No.” She shook her head sadly. “No, you are not the problem. Now go, get that girl inside. The two of you have a lot to discuss.”
He pressed a light kiss to her forehead and turned to do as she suggested. But as he ushered Amy into the house, he couldn’t help wondering if there was also a conversation he and Megan needed to have.
* * *
AFTER THE INITIAL waterworks had passed, Amy pulled herself together pretty quickly. At first they talked at the kitchen table, where this had all started, and she told him about her rehabilitation program and how wonderful her aunt Nadine had been. But they soon moved to the living room floor, where Tommy could crawl around on the carpet with fewer obstacles.
Amy sniffed. “I can’t believe I wasn’t here when he started crawling.”
“It’s good that you got yourself off a self-destructive path. If you’d continued down that road, you might’ve missed so many more milestones. You still have a lot to look forward to—first steps, first words.” He gave her an evil grin. “Potty training.”
She laughed. “I missed him so much that, right now, even that sounds good.”
“Maybe there are ways to reduce your work hours so that you don’t miss so many moments. I was serious when I said my mother is willing to help you investigate new job possibilities.”
She leaned against the side of the sofa, her expression one of bewilderment. “I can’t get over how kind everyone in your family is. The world would be a different place if more people were like the Trents. But as much as I truly appreciate the offer, I don’t think I’m ready to come home to Cupid’s Bow just yet. Aunt Nadine is staying at the hotel out by the hospital—that’s her car I’m driving. She said mine wasn’t roadworthy.”
“She’s right,” Will said, recalling the junk heap Amy had been driving last time he saw her.
“Anyway, she and I are going to spend tomorrow with my mother, since it’s Christmas. Then I think Tommy and I will stay with Nadine for a few months. I didn’t see her very often when I was younger, because of her drug problems, but now that she’s cleaned up, she is a bona fide godsend. If I’d realized a month ago how wonderful she is, I probably would’ve taken Tommy with me and spared you all the hassle. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not.” He wasn’t just saying that to make Amy feel better, either. If Tommy hadn’t been here, if Will hadn’t so desperately needed help, he never would’ve knocked on his neighbor’s door. How would he and Megan have gotten to know each other? Or would they have remained strangers? That was a horrible thought. In a matter of weeks, she’d become one of the most important people in his life.
Without knowing it, by leaving Tommy here, Amy had given him an amazing Christmas gift—Megan Rivers and her adorable triplets.
Amy’s phone chirped a text alert, and she glanced down at the screen. She had pulled the phone out of her pocket earlier, and by Will’s count, she’d taken nine thousand pictures of Tommy since stepping into the house. “Aunt Nadine is worried about me. I guess it is starting to get late.”
“Are you okay to drive?” He knew it had been an emotional night for her.
“Will, I am the best I have been in months.”
He believed her. “If you give me the keys to your car, I’ll go set up Tommy’s seat and you can have a few more minutes to play with him.”
“And change his diaper.” She grimaced. “He smells a little ripe.”
“I will sincerely miss the little guy—you’d better visit me—but I will not miss diaper duty. Ever.”
* * *
EVEN THOUGH SOME of Tommy’s stuff was still there—Amy had said either she or her aunt would pick up the rest of it after Christmas—Will’s house felt bizarrely empty after she drove away. A couple of hours ago, he’d been in a noisy van with five other people. Now he was alone.
As the quiet settled around him, his thoughts turned back to Megan. Actually, that wasn’t quite true. She’d stayed on his mind all night, even as he’d been listening to Amy. Selfishly, he wanted to talk to Megan, see her. But what if she was asleep? Going to bed would probably be the best remedy for her headache.
Then again, it was Christmas Eve. According to his older brother, this was the night thousands of parents stayed awake to assemble presents and curse toy manufacturers. One of Cole’s more entertaining tall tales was the dramatic reenactment he did of the hours it had taken to cut free a baby doll stroller from its insane packaging and put it together.
Maybe Megan could use a hand. Maybe she would enjoy some company.
He knew he couldn’t stay the night, not with the girls as witnesses, but he’d love to be with her when Christmas Day officially arrived. Locking the door behind him, he stepped out on his front porch and texted Megan. You awake?
When three dots immediately appeared to show she was typing a response, he hit the call button.
“I was just texting you back,” she said as she answered.
“I know. But hearing your voice is even better.” There was a long pause that halted him midway across her yard. “Megan? How’s your headache?”
“Now that the girls are asleep, it’s manageable.”
“Good. Amy’s gone. I truly believe she and Tommy are going to be okay.”
“I’m relieved to hear that. She’s lucky to have you in her life.”
“And I’m lucky to have you. I couldn’t have taken care of him by myself. These last few weeks have put me in awe of single parents. I don’t know how you do it, Megan.”
“One day at a time.” She sounded sad.
Whatever the problem was, he desperately wanted to fix it. “My brother Cole has told stories about the woes of assembling last-minute toys on Christmas Eve. I thought maybe I could come over and help.”
“Thanks, but luckily they wanted a lot of art supplies. Not too much assembling required. I was just curled up on the sofa watching the end of a Bing Crosby movie.”
“Then maybe I could watch that with you. I give excellent foot rubs.”
“Thanks, but the credits are rolling.”
He sighed. Why did conversation with her suddenly feel difficult? Because it was over the phone and not in person? “Then maybe we could just talk.”
“You have a lot to process,” she said.
I do?
“We can talk after Christmas.”
“Or now, since I’m standing in your front yard.” He’d been waiting for her to officially invite him over before he volunteered that, but since an invitation didn’t seem to be forthcoming... “You should probably let me in before Abe Martin across the street mistakes me for a prowler and call the cops.”
“Probably.” The call disconnected, and a moment later, he heard the locks. She opened the door, her hair rumpled and backlit from the kitchen. She was wearing a battered robe over Christmas pajamas and was easily the most gorgeous woman he’d ever seen. Even with her melancholy expression.
“You look like you’re worried you won’t get what you wanted for Christmas,” he said lightly. “Want me to put in a last-minute word for you with Santa?”
The corner of her mouth turned up in a wistful smile. “Bringing your brother over here to play Santa was such a nice thing to do for the girls. You’ve done more nice things for them, for me, than I can count. And I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful, but...”
A horrible pressure tightened in his chest. “But what?”
“I was already starting to wonder if we’ve been spending too much time together. And—”
“You have?” Because he’d been having pretty much the opposite reaction. The more time he spent with Megan, the more he thought about her, the more he wanted to be with her.
She gave him a look that was affectionately pitying, one that reminded him uncomfortably of an expression he’d seen before. On Tasha’s face, the night before their wedding. Oh God, not again.
“We’ve been thrown together by circumstances,” Megan said, her voice starting to shake, “and it’s easy to get confused. Especially if you’re three years old. Tomorrow, Spencer is going to tell the girls that he’s remarrying. I don’t want them getting the wrong idea about you and me just because we’ve been spending so much time together. Distance would be good for all of us.”
“I disagree,” he said quietly. “If they got the idea that I cared about you, that I cared about them, it wouldn’t be the wrong one.” Jarrett had been right—best to face his feelings head-on and let Megan know how much she meant to him. “I’m falling—”
“Please don’t!” She shook her head, wild-eyed. “With Tommy gone, you just got your life back. Your freedom. The Christmas season is nostalgic and sentimental, but that doesn’t last. I don’t want you to realize a month from now you’ve made a horrible mistake. We’ve had a great time, but I think it’s come to its natural end. I hope we—”
“Do not ask if we can be friends,” he interrupted, nauseated with déjà vu. He was furious. Furious with her for this emotional sucker punch, and furious that he’d allowed himself to fall for someone again with no better results than the first time. You’d think I would learn. It took effort to speak, his throat was so raw with emotions. “Is this really what you want, Megan?”
Her eyes glittered. “It makes the most sense. You can resume making up for lost dating time, and I can focus on my girls and help them adjust to the idea of a stepmom.”
“But is it what you want?” He took a step closer, half tempted to try to kiss sense into her.
“Yes.” Her voice was a broken whisper.
He knew she was lying—they both knew it—but as she pulled away and closed the front door between them, he also knew he couldn’t coerce her to give them a future. With Tasha, he’d tried for hours, talking until he was blue in the face, suggesting they postpone the wedding instead of canceling it out right. Nothing he had said had changed her mind.
At least this time, he was walking away with his dignity intact.