Chapter Fifteen

Trevor collapsed on top of her, holding his weight up on his elbows so not to suffocate her. He took a moment to catch his breath. He didn’t want to move, somehow terrified if he did, everything would suddenly change.

“Trevor?” Jenna’s soft, raspy voice stunned him back to reality and alleviated the fear inside him, at least somewhat.

“Yeah, baby?” Trevor lifted himself up and looked at Jenna; his breath caught at the sight of her. She looked so soft and gorgeous with her swollen lips, pink cheeks, and hair falling back across his couch. He lay down next to her and let his hand come to rest on her naked belly. “You okay?”

A smile crept across her lips. She blushed and nodded.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” Trevor chuckled.

“Yes.” Suddenly her eyes glassed over.

“Jenna? What is it?” Trevor wondered everything at once—had he hurt her? Was she disappointed? He knew enough to know he had made her happy. Twice. So why this reaction?

She only shrugged.

“Jenna? Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?”

Jenna shook her head. “No. I—I’m sorry.”

Her gaze dropped down, and Trevor placed his finger under her chin, lifting it upward.

“It was incredible, Trevor.” She smiled at him. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Trevor ran his hands over her tight, small curves, wondering if he and Jenna, together and apart, were doomed to a life of make-believe. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jen.”

****

She shivered.

“Are you cold?”

“A little.” She shrugged.

“Hold on.” Trevor jumped up, pulled on his boxer briefs then went to a tall armoire on one side of the music room.

Jenna propped herself up onto her elbows and watched him. He grabbed a t-shirt and tossed it to her. The soft cotton t-shirt fell gently on her lap. She slipped it over her head. He held out his hands and pulled her to her feet, the t-shirt dropping down almost to her knees. The t-shirt felt like an extension of him, and it felt…good to be covered by Trevor Hughes. Too good.

Trevor smiled. “That looks incredible on you. You look…so sexy.” His eyes were fixed on her as he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her.

Jenna molded herself tightly to him. She knew in every cell of her body this was wrong but it also made her so happy. The fact that they were playing a dangerous game she forced out of her mind. Right now, she felt only happy and lucky. It was easy to feel pure bliss in the arms of Trevor Hughes. She inhaled his incredibly masculine scent. She turned her cheek and rested it against his chest, and he leaned down and kissed her on the head.

“You are so beautiful.”

Jenna closed her eyes, enjoying her time in this fantasy world. He lifted her chin and kissed her gently. She looked into his eyes that were sultry and confident and so incredibly sexy.

“You know what we need now?”

“There’s more?”

Trevor chuckled. “Ice cream.”

Jenna smiled. “Trevor Hughes, I think you may very well be the perfect man.”

Trevor took her hand.

“Oh, uh, just a sec…” Jenna stopped and slipped on her pink panties that Trevor had tossed aside.

He smiled, took her hand again, and led her out of his music room and into his kitchen.

****

“Coffee, mocha chip, chocolate fudge, or mint chocolate chip?”

“Yes, please.” Jenna was perched on Trevor’s counter, the long t-shirt tucked under her legs.

“All of them?”

Jenna nodded.

“You got it.” He laughed. “I’ve never met someone who likes ice cream as much as me.”

“Love it.”

Trevor glanced at her quickly, struck by those two little words. Jenna looked away. Who could blame her? Damn, what was he doing? In all his years as a bachelor, sleeping with some of the most beautiful women in the world, he had never—not once—contemplated love. So what was going on here? Focusing on anything that may cool his feelings for Jenna, Trevor opened his sub-zero freezer and brought out four pints of ice cream. Jenna clapped.

“Let me just grab some bowls.” Trevor spoke as he rummaged for two spoons.

“Trevor…” Jenna put her hands on her hips, her legs swaying back and forth against the counter. “After what we just did, I think we can eat our ice cream straight from the containers.”

Watching Jenna sit there in his oversized t-shirt, ready to dive into pints of ice cream with him, Trevor couldn’t imagine being any happier. Ever. He knew he should count his lucky stars and enjoy every moment with her but there was something in the way she said these words that worried him. She shimmied herself off the counter and onto one of his bar stools then leaned across the giant island, digging into the mint chocolate chip.

“Jen.” He looked down at the pint of ice cream, took a deep breath and faced her again. “I hope you don’t think I do this all the time.”

“Eat four pints at once?” She looked up at him with her big hazel eyes. There was no sarcasm in her tone. “’Cause I sure would if the ice cream tasted like this. What is this?” She dug in again.

“Technically, it’s gelato.”

“How did I not know about this?”

She licked her spoon and a grin spread across his face.

He shrugged. “There’s a great gelato place not far from here. That’s where these come from. We should go one night.”

He expected her to freeze; to run screaming from the kitchen at the thought of spending more time with him. But she didn’t. Instead, she smiled and dove in again. Trevor ran his hand up through his hair. “What I meant was…what I mean is…” Jenna diving into the mocha chip sidetracked him.

She moaned. “This is heaven.”

“Okay.” Trevor reached across the counter and took her hands in his. “Now I’m starting to get a complex. I think you’re enjoying that gelato more than you enjoyed…” He tossed his head in the direction of his music room.

“Are you kidding me, Trevor?” She let her spoon drop onto the counter, making a splattery mess. She looked at him and he let go of her hands. “The only reason this gelato tastes like heaven is because of you.”

Trevor smiled, seizing the moment. His heart raced. Why was he tripping over his words? He was the older, more experienced one. What was going on? “That’s what I was trying to say. I hope you understand I don’t do this…” Trevor twirled his spoon. “Not the gelato.” He tossed his head toward the music room, again. “I mean the couch…”

Jenna stared up at him blankly.

“Or the gelato. A lot.” A drop of sweat slid down Trevor’s neck, and he reached up to wipe it away. Why was he so invested in this?

“Of course you do.” Jenna reached across the counter and squeezed his hands. Then she grabbed her spoon and shoveled another bite of gelato into her mouth.

“What?” Trevor laughed off her response. He waited for her to laugh but she didn’t. Her stoicism created fear in him, a fear that overtook his heart. This was the last thing he would ever want her to think—that she was a one night or one show, stand. “Jenna…”

“Wait.” She put down her ice cream and stabbed her spoon into the container. She looked Trevor straight in the eye.

Jenna had so much confidence, it was unnerving. He stood up taller, bracing himself.

“I think you have had a great deal of experience. And that’s cool. You’re a single guy.” She reached out and touched his hands in the way that calmed him. “And you’re not altogether horrible looking.”

Trevor chuckled, his eyes on her as she continued.

“You’re fairly successful.”

He laughed some more.

“If it weren’t for this dump you live in, you’d probably get laid a lot more often.”

“All right, all right.” Trevor smiled, feeling that certain emotion he had never experienced before Jenna. “Do you have a point?”

“Look, Trevor.” Her gaze dropped then returned to him. “I’m not one of those girls who’s immune to sex. The ones who do it as a performance, because that’s what’s expected of them.”

Trevor nodded, understanding completely.

“I feel sorry for those girls. I think society has pushed them into that position.” She smiled. “No pun intended. But I was never that girl. Sex means a lot to me. And from the way you just had sex with me, despite the amount of experience you may have, I think it means a lot to you, too.” Jenna grinned and tilted her head, looking so much older and wiser.

“Jenna.” Trevor moved around the island to get to her. He spun her stool so she faced him then leaned down, his hands resting on the high back of her stool. His body enveloped her. He wanted so much from her but he needed to be careful not to push. “I didn’t have sex with you; I made love to you.”

Jenna sighed, her body leaning toward his.

He knew she was terrified, but he wanted her to know this. “I’ve had sex…this wasn’t just sex. This was more.”

“Trevor—”

“Yes, I know there’s some mysterious reason you think we can’t be together, but I’m telling you, Jenna, it won’t happen.”

Jenna placed her small warm hands on his chest. Trevor inhaled sharply.

“Trevor, have you ever wondered why you’re an actor?”

“Because it was my calling, I guess.” He crossed his arms.

“Yes. And you know why? Because we have gypsy blood in us. All actors do. We’re nomads by choice. We don’t stay in one place very long—or with someone else very long—we’re incapable of it, somehow.” Her eyes glassed over as she smiled.

“Lots of great actors have life partners. Don and Evelyn for example.”

“Yeah.” Jenna nodded. “Except Evelyn gave up her career to support his. Someone always, in some way, has to give. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You’re thirty-two years old. What happens when you decide you’re ready to settle down? What happens to your partner? You buy her a McMansion in Jersey or Westchester, which should make her happy, right? And then the car takes you to work every day while she’s stuck home with unfulfilled dreams and crying children. While you play Caspian or Hamlet or Brick, she goes to PTA meetings and fights off suburban mothers who watch your show and dig at her with questions about what you’re like in bed.”

Trevor stepped back. “That’s exactly the reason Maggie didn’t want to be with me anymore. Because she wanted those things and knew I never would. It doesn’t have to be that way, Jenna. What makes you think I would ever be so selfish?”

“You won’t realize you’re being selfish. That’s the whole thing. Don’t you get it?” Jenna shook her head. “As much as I like being with you, I’m not prepared to give it all up before I even get started. Are you?”

Trevor clenched his jaw.

“So this has to be it, tonight. Only tonight. Because you’ll want to move on. You’re burned out, Trevor. I can see it. You’re so sick of playing Caspian your soul aches. That’s the reason we just connected the way we did. Honestly, before me, when was the last time Trevor Hughes, not Caspian Locke, made love to a woman?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was low and filled with anguish.

She tilted her head and nodded, wiping a tear. “I understand, Trevor, I really do. But I will never leave this city, or this business, ever, and if we push this any further, it will ruin our show. And neither of us can afford to have that happen.” She stood and touched his cheek.

He closed his eyes, holding her hand then dropped it and stepped back. “This is bullshit. Sorry, Jenna. But you’re wrong. If people want to be together they make it work. So tell me, right now, what’s the real reason you won’t give this a try?”

“I have obligations elsewhere.”

“What? An arranged marriage?”

“Of course not. I just—I can’t tell you, Trevor.”

Anger and hurt welled up inside him. Heat flashed through his body, his ego taking a punch to the gut. He backed away from her. Damn. Exactly what hurdle did she imagine could stop him? He could buy and sell most obstacles and he could hold his own against any man, physically or mentally. So what?

“No more ice cream?” She tilted her head.

Trevor stared at her. His heart felt…sore for the first time. He rubbed away a pain in his chest. In his life, if he worked hard enough he could always get what he wanted. That’s how life worked. But Jenna—smart, talented, beautiful, break-the-rules Jenna—there’s no way she would conform to his model of success. Even if he worked harder, would he get her? He shook his head. No, he didn’t want more ice cream.

“Kaaayyyyy…” Jenna plopped down off the stool then closed containers and tucked them into the freezer. She cleaned up the splatter and placed their spoons in the sink. She looked around uneasily. “I guess I should…” Then her gaze met his.

Trevor stood perfectly still, unsure for the first time ever, of what to do next. Jenna inhaled deeply then took his hand and gently pulled him toward the music room.

****

Her hand entwined in his and pulling him forward, Jenna backed into the music room. She folded herself onto the couch, tucking a blanket beside her. “Can I stay?” She looked up at him and her heart raced. Yes, he liked her and liked spending time with her, but at what point would he decide she just wasn’t worth the hassle? She was nothing special. Nothing at all. He didn’t move. Looking into his icy blue eyes, now warming with desire, Jenna understood he was hurting. Damn it. That was the last thing she wanted.

He glanced at her legs poking out of his t-shirt. Slowly she rubbed them together and took a long breath, finding it hard to make eye contact. “Just a few hours ago was Valentine’s night. I really don’t want to be alone—” Before she could finish her thought, Trevor’s mouth was on hers.

He stopped for a moment, pushing her hair back from her face, tucking it gently behind her ear. “Would you rather go to the bedroom?”

She shook her head. “I like it here. Okay?”

He nodded and she opened her arms to him. He caught her in his embrace and lay with her—facing her, their hands intertwined. Unspoken words crowded Jenna’s mind, but she couldn’t free a single one…it wouldn’t be fair. Instead, she turned her back to him, and he draped his heavy arm across her. She loved it. Jenna ran her fingers up and down the length of Trevor’s long, strong arm. She traced the sinews of his muscles, from fingertip to elbow. His breath escaped in bursts, warming her neck, as her touch elicited goose bumps on his arm. She subtly leaned back against him, feeling for his reaction.

He shifted closer to her so she fit her bottom up against his waist and his arm tightened around her. He buried his nose in her hair. She grabbed onto his forearm with both of her hands, and moved her head to kiss him. His grasp tightened and she reached down, sliding off her panties. He was ready, pressing into the small of her back and she moved closer in response, waiting, wanting, needing.

“Jenna, baby,” he whispered. “Stay with me.” His voice was nearly as erotic as his actions. He repeated his words as he entered her.

Jenna gasped as Trevor tightened his hold on her. This time when she let him in, she wasn’t sure she would be strong enough to let him go.