Chapter Seventeen

On the way to Jenna’s apartment to pick her up for the charity event, Trevor’s knee bounced like a jackhammer as he sat in the back of the limo. Holy crap, how could he possibly be this nervous over a date? He’d been dating since he was fifteen, and all of his adult romantic life was documented in the trash magazines, killing even the most remote chance of privacy, so why was he so nervous now? He watched out the window at Manhattan whizzing by, rethinking his decision, or rather, demand. What if she was still angry with him? What if the whole evening was nothing but awkward? But no, after the night they had shared a few weeks earlier, there was something real between them. He knew it.

Trevor fiddled with the small, black, rectangular, velvet box he held in his hands, and as the limo turned onto her street, he caught sight of Jenna standing there, waiting. What the hell? He sat forward, livid. Why wasn’t she upstairs? Why was he the only one concerned for her safety? He would have gone up to meet her at her apartment door. There was no reason for her to be out here, freezing and unsafe.

As the car pulled closer, his furrowed brow relaxed, and his anger was replaced by awe. “Jenna.” Trevor bounded out of the limo before it had stopped completely. “Jenna, you look…” He gazed up and down her body. “Gorgeous.”

Jenna blushed, smiling the first real smile she had given him offstage in—he couldn’t remember how long. He smiled back, so incredibly happy to see it. He was happy to see the rest of her as well, the beautiful, long black lace dress that fit her body perfectly, the soft black wrap thrown over, her gorgeous hair pinned up messily, her eyes smoldering. Trevor fought to take a breath. “Jenna, you are…” He shook his head, speechless.

Jenna smiled and looked away. “Thanks. How’s Toby?”

“He’s okay. Recovery is going well, and there’s no reason to think it was anything more than an isolated occurrence.”

“Thank God.” A gust of wind blew by and she shivered.

“Come on.” Trevor led her to the opened door of the limo and climbed in next to her as the driver shut the door behind them. “You really are stunning.”

“Thank you.” She adjusted her gown, letting her small shiny clutch rest on the seat between them. “But I can’t take the credit. It was all Loretta. Except the gown. I found that at a vintage shop downtown. Is it okay?”

She looked up at him with eyes filled with so much vulnerability, all he wanted was to take her in his arms and prove how right it all was.

“Jenna, it’s perfect,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

She sat back, turning her head to look out the window, her wrap falling off of her shoulders. Trevor glimpsed her breasts, looking incredibly full in her gown. He inhaled deeply. Hell, yes. They should get dressed up more often.

She faced him again. “The rest Loretta created from her makeup kit. And the pearls”—Jenna played with her earlobe delicately—“are hers.”

“Luis has great taste.”

He leaned over and touched Jenna’s earlobe, lightly. She closed her eyes, swaying toward him but Trevor backed off immediately, keeping his hands on his side of the limo. There was no way he would push her; he had already scared her off once; it wouldn’t happen again. The re-wooing of Jenna Joyce had to be done carefully. He shrugged off a cold chill, hating anything so calculated. He would never play games with her, but he had to be careful. He placed the black velvet box on the seat between them, sliding it to her. “I was wondering if you might want to wear these.”

Her eyes widened and he silently prayed she wouldn’t push them back at him because it was too much, too soon.

****

Jenna’s heart pounded. The idea of Trevor giving her a gift after this much time had passed was so…unexpected. She ran her fingers over the soft velvet of the box, desperately wanting to see inside. But how unfair would it be for her to accept this? It would only be leading him on. “Trevor, I can’t.”

“Go ahead.” He nodded gently.

Jenna grasped the box in her shaking hand and opened it carefully. Nestled in a black satin interior were the most beautiful golden sapphire and diamond earrings, shaped like tiny sea turtles.

“Trevor, I…”

“Do you like them?”

“They’re amazing.”

“Like you.”

Jenna looked up at him. “I can’t keep them.” She closed the box and pushed it back toward Trevor.

His eyes hardened. “Well, that might be a problem, seeing I had them made for you.”

“You did?” Never in her life had someone thought about Jenna so completely. “That was so incredibly thoughtful.”

“Aside from the obvious connection…” Trevor patted his chest above his heart as he spoke. “I had them use deep golden sapphires to match your eyes and diamonds…well, because.”

Jenna froze at the word “diamond.”

“Want to try them on?”

Although her brain screamed, “No,” her head nodded.

Trevor leaned over, tucking a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, and Jenna closed her eyes, breathing him in. He smelled incredible, like light spice and clean laundry. She wished they could stay there all night, in the back of the limo, so close they were nearly touching. Trevor lingered with his hand at her ear. He touched her hair gently, and traced his finger down her cheek until it came to rest under her chin.

Jenna glanced up at him, certain he was going to kiss her. Her body leaned forward, feeling that undeniable pull toward him. She lifted her chin. But there was no kiss. Instead, he smiled, and the limo driver said, “We’re here, Mr. Hughes.”

Jenna cleared her throat, quickly removing her pearls and tucking them into her clutch, replacing them with her new stunning earrings.

****

They stepped out of the limo, and Jenna turned toward the museum hosting the benefit, reading the sign hanging over the museum’s rotunda. “It’s a benefit for an animal charity.” Jenna turned to Trevor and playfully slapped him on the shoulder with her clutch. Giddy inside, she fought back a giggle. She took a deep breath of the cold night air and it rushed into her lungs. She hadn’t felt this free since…the last time she saw him.

“Oh, look at that.” Trevor feigned surprise.

Jenna squeezed his hand. There was a spark from his touch and she quickly broke away.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Jenna. Just for tonight, let’s just be happy. Wherever that takes us, it takes us.”

Jenna tried to speak but he gently placed his finger to her lips.

“And wherever it doesn’t take us, it doesn’t.”

“But Trevor…” Jenna looked down. “I don’t want to be unfair to you.”

He placed his finger under her chin and lifted it. “Hey.”

He smiled, and her defenses slipped away.

“I promise I heard your warning. I’m a big boy.”

“Oh…” Jenna giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. “I know.”

Trevor chuckled, his broad shoulders shaking with his laugh. He took Jenna’s hand, slipping it in the crook of his arm. He tightened his muscles and Jenna immediately felt safe and relieved, but unfinished.

“Trevor?”

“Yeah, Jen?” He looked at her with eyes that for the first time in weeks were filled with happiness rather than sorrow.

“I—I’m sorry.”

He nodded.

She searched for her words. “If you had run out on me after we had spent that time together, I would have been devastated. And instead, you came to find me and brought me an incredibly thoughtful gift.” She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “There’s really no excuse. I—I just panicked, because I didn’t want to hurt you, and yet that’s exactly what I did.”

“I understand.”

“Really?” Jenna looked up at him. He was so strong and smart and mature. She felt like a teenager in comparison. But she wasn’t just a kid; she was a woman, a woman who was involved with Trevor Hughes…in one way or another.

“Yes.”

Trevor led her forward a few steps, but Jenna hesitated. She drew a deep breath. “And I’m not…”

He slipped her hand out of the crook of his arm and lifted it to his lips. He kissed her hand, gently. “I just want you here, Jenna. With me.”

She reached up with her free hand and played with her earring, delicately. She smiled at him and he led her inside.

****

“Wow.” Jenna took one step into the event room of the museum and stopped short. “Oh my goodness…” Her words fell away as she took in her surroundings: the high ceiling draped in millions of tiny white lights; dozens of large round tables covered in white tablecloths with white cloth-covered chairs flanking them; long birch branches climbing up the museum pillars, shimmering with sparkling lights; and large framed photos of animals everywhere along the sides of the room. A long bar with high white leather stools and at least a half dozen bartenders was before them, and a staff of dozens of waiters, dressed in black tuxedos, walked through the event room, carrying hors d’oeuvres on shiny silver platters. The room was warm and smelled like burnt sugar and vanilla. Hundreds of people milled about. “Trevor, this is…” Jenna walked closer to a photo of a dog with only one eye and a lopsided ear. “This photo—it’s incredible. Looks like a professional photographer did it.”

“It was a professional. Professionals photographed all the animals, hoping they’ll have a better chance at being adopted.” He tossed his head. “Come on, let’s get our seats.”

“Caspian…?” Before they could take a step toward the table, a woman in her mid-thirties wearing a long, black, sleeveless, satin dress and fire engine red lipstick stepped up to Trevor. Incredibly tanned, toned arm muscles flexed as she stood on her toes and kissed him on both cheeks. She didn’t even glance at Jenna. “Gloria. Remember? I work with the turtle charity.”

“Yes, hello.” He took Jenna’s hand, pulling her closer. “It’s Trevor, actually. And this is Jenna.”

“I know your name, but to me you’ll always be Caspian. So it’s true? You and Maggie?” Gloria looked Jenna up and down.

Trevor nodded. “Yes, she decided it was time to part ways.”

“She decided, huh?” The woman raised her overarched brows. “Well anyway, I’m hooked up with the photographer Henri and we’re using celebrities in the next series of pics. I’d love to use you…” She smiled, patting his bicep with her hand, trying to wedge herself between Trevor and Jenna. “I’ve heard the rumor that there’s a turtle tattooed on that wide chest of yours”—she made circles in the air around his heart—“but you’re super private about it. Why not give me a peek, and I can let Henri know it’s for real. It’ll be perfect with the underwater series we’ve got planned.” She nodded toward one of the doorways. “We can have some privacy over there. Behind coat check. Why not give me a look?” She licked her lips.

Trevor cleared his throat, standing up taller. “It’s very flattering that you’d like to use me for your photos, thank you. Why not give me Henri’s contact, and I’ll have my agent be in touch.” Smiling and winking at Jenna, Trevor took Jenna’s arm, leading her away from the woman and over to the bar.

“That’s nerve,” Jenna said over the soft band music as Trevor took two glasses of champagne from the bartender and handed one to Jenna.

“What’s that?”

“Asking you to disrobe in the middle of a black tie dinner?”

Trevor laughed it off like it was nothing. “Oh, I’ve been asked at the grocery store…Central Park…the middle of Saks.”

Jenna’s heart ached. “That’s not very cool.”

“You get used to it.” Trevor shrugged.

“But could you imagine if a man asked that of a woman? It would be scandalous. Not to mention incredibly tacky.”

“I guess.” He smiled, but his jaw jutted forward, his muscles clenched. “But what can I do? An occupational hazard, right? I mean, I do walk around shirtless nearly every day. I can’t expect people to look at me as more than bare-chested Caspian Locke if that’s what I show them.” He tipped back his champagne flute, swallowing hard.

Jenna took the empty glass from his hand and set it down on the bar. “Trevor, you do know how incredible you are, right?”

He snickered, rolling his eyes. “How much champagne have you had?”

Jenna put her hands on her hips. “Don’t laugh this off. Yes, you’re incredibly handsome, and yes, you are awe-inspiring shirtless…”

He scoffed, but Jenna went on. “But more importantly, you are a wonderful person, and you are so talented.”

“I sold out, Jen.”

“Caspian?”

Trevor nodded. “Sure.”

“But you’re playing Hamlet, now.”

“And it has been the most rewarding experience…” He reached out and touched a loose tendril of her hair. “In so many ways. But it’s too little, too late.”

“What about Brick? Like we talked about?”

“Jen, you know as well as I do, roles don’t just happen.”

Jenna nodded, understanding completely. “But there are ways, Trevor. You don’t have to play Caspian Locke forever.”

“Jenna, you know my situation. Amanda and Toby rely on me; how can I make that income anywhere else? Who will take a chance on a soap opera bad guy? What else would I do?”

“Why not produce, like you told Luis you’d like to do? You’ve got an eye for spotting talent. You cast me.” Jenna prodded Trevor playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’s true, I did.” He grinned.

“And you got Luis an audition for the new show, and you and I both know he is a fabulous actor. He deserves that role, no matter what lousy things I said to him. And while you’re at it, why not take over for Don?”

Trevor threw his head back, laughing uncomfortably. “Jen, you know the only students I would get would be wannabe soap actors. And I’m not sure I’d want to do that.”

“Then what? What would you like to do?”

“Honestly?” His eyes sparkled. “I’d love to start my own theatre company.”

Jenna nodded. A wave of excitement crossed her chest and shot down her arms but her belly filled with lead. “Then do it.” Her voice cracked.

He gave her the smallest, saddest smile.

“But you don’t want to do it in the city, do you?”

“No. I don’t know if I really want to deal with the crap it takes to start a theatre company in New York City.”

“I get it. As much as I love the city, I would imagine it would be incredible to start a theatre company somewhere upstate. Buy an old barn. Lots of land. House the actors. Do real, important theatre all summer long. Be part of a working community.”

Trevor smiled.

“Lots of greats started on soaps, Trevor. You’re not that show. And it’s not you.”

“I don’t know.”

He looked away, but she reached out and touched his cheek. Gently, she turned him toward her. She stroked his scruffy beard. “I know.”

****

When they made it to their seats, Luis and Loretta were sitting there, engrossed in conversation. Luis stopped talking when Jenna walked up and stood close to them.

“I didn’t know you two were here. I’m so, so happy to see you.” Jenna fought the tears in her eyes as Loretta stood and hugged her. Jenna stepped back, taking in Loretta’s full-length peach gown. “You look gorgeous. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“Trevor set it all up. Wanted you and Luis to get a chance to talk.” Loretta patted her husband on the shoulder. “It was my job to force him into his wedding suit and make him come.”

Jenna smiled. “Well you look great, Luis.”

“Thanks.” Luis sipped soda, watching as the first few couples made their way to the dance floor.

“Luis,” Jenna implored, moving closer to him. “Please, please forgive me. What I said, it was awful.”

Luis avoided eye contact.

Trevor whisked around behind them and took Loretta by the hand. “Loretta? Could I have this dance?”

“Absolutely.” She leaned down to whisper in Luis’s ear. “She’s sorry. We all do and say stupid things. All of us.”

Luis watched Loretta as she waltzed off with Trevor.

“Guess they really want us to get a chance to talk.” Jenna sat next to Luis. She tossed her clutch onto the table and leaned back, ready to take whatever horrible things Luis had to say to her.

“Guess so.” Luis picked up his soft drink and sipped it, watching the dancers as they twirled their way around the floor.

“Luis.” Jenna put her hand on Luis’s. “Please, please tell me what I can say to make this better.”

Luis shook his head and turned to her. Her hand fell away. “You and I…Jen, we’ve been through a lot.”

“Yes.” Jenna bit the inside of her cheek.

“Aside from Loretta, you’ve been my best friend for a long time now.” His gaze flashed to the table and back to Jenna.

“And you’ve been mine.”

“I still remember the first time I saw you. I had just been cast as Othello, big surprise, for my exam plays at school, and they told me they had a fabulous Desdemona for me, and in walks your first-year skinny ass.” Luis shook his head, laughing. “I kept thinking, ‘These are my exam plays and they’re giving me some first year kid who hadn’t even gone to get a BFA yet?’”

“That was when we met Don. He came to watch you.”

“And he snapped up both of us.” Luis looked at Jenna. “But they were right, Don and the school; you were a fabulous Desdemona. You’re a great actor, Jen, but you’re an even better friend. You’ve seen me at my lowest points. You’ve never judged me. You’ve given me pep talks after I’ve blown auditions. You let me puke in your bathroom when Loretta wouldn’t let me come home. So I guess”—he sighed heavily—“what I’m trying to say is, I forgive you for what you said to me.” His gaze darted up to hers. “But it hurt, and I hope to hell you didn’t mean it.”

“I didn’t. I swear, Luis.”

Luis nodded. “I know that. You’ve had a lot thrown at you lately. And I know you’re not feeling like yourself. I think it was just passion talking.”

Jenna threw her arms around Luis’s neck and hugged him tightly.

Luis pulled back, chuckling. “But Jenna, as your friend, I’m telling you, he’s a good guy. And guys like that don’t come along very often.”

Jenna turned to see Trevor twirling Loretta on the dance floor. They were both laughing. Jenna’s shoulders slumped forward. “I know, Luis.”

“Don’t make him wait forever.”

“You waited for Loretta.”

Luis pointed at Trevor. “You can’t compare us. I mean, sure we both have rugged good looks…” He chuckled, and Jenna laughed with him. “But I was a screw-up, Jen. You know that. Until I kicked my habit, I did a lot of things I’m not proud of. And a lot of what I did hurt Loretta. I waited for Loretta to say yes to marrying me because I had to prove myself. And why she waited for me…” He gazed at Loretta. “I don’t know. I’m just incredibly lucky, I guess.”

“Yes,” Jenna whispered.

“But what does he have to prove?”

Jenna swallowed hard. “Nothing.” She shook her head. “But you know I’ll never be able to make this donation if he’s in my life. If I think there’s even a chance, Luis…and what if, by some miracle, we make it? He’s so sick of being Caspian. He’s done. He’ll want out. And I haven’t even started yet. I can’t end up like my dad, my dreams tossed aside, because it’s time to be a parent.”

“You’re not your dad, Jen. And Trevor’s certainly not your mom.”

“I know, but what about—? Luis, he has obligations. He already takes care of people in his life. I can’t add to that. I can’t bring my crazy mother and my commitment to my sister to him. He’ll want to help, I know it, and it’s just too much. There are so many reasons why we can’t work.”

“And one big reason you can. Take a gamble, Jenna. Just like the rest of us.”

“But what if I lose?”

Luis leaned forward and took Jenna’s hand. He smiled. “ ‘And if we should fail? We fail. But screw your courage to the sticking-place, and we’ll not fail.’ ”

Jenna smirked. “You doing a Macbeth I don’t know about? Perchance?”

Luis shook his head. “Nah, I’m afraid there’s no theatre for me for awhile.”

“No theatre?” Jenna frowned, trying to understand. “Luis, that’s like having no air to breathe.”

“I got the show, Jen.”

Jenna sat forward, her heart racing. “The new crime drama?”

“The audition Trevor got me, yeah.” Luis nodded. “Kat called me earlier today. I almost can’t believe it myself. Just over two years ago I was a mess…and today…?”

Luis raised his glass and Jenna grabbed a nearby water goblet, toasting back. They placed their drinks on the table.

Jenna hugged Luis tightly. “Congratulations, Luis.”

He pulled back from her. “Jenna, you’re amazing as Ophelia in an Off-Broadway show. You’ve got a guy, a handsome, smart, talented guy who’s crazy about you. This should be the best time of your life.”

“I know.” Jenna looked at Trevor as he spun Loretta around the dance floor. “I know.”

****

The band began a slow, classic, love song and suddenly Trevor was there. At his intent gaze, Jenna’s stomach flip-flopped, like she had opening night jitters. His hair was perfectly disheveled and his scruff tamed. The way he moved—in control and confident—he was so incredibly sexy. He put out his hand and lifted her to her feet. Without a word, he led her to the dance floor and wrapped his arm around her waist. He took her other hand in his and held it tightly between them. As the band sang lyrics of a man professing his love, Trevor hummed along. He leaned down, moving her body with his.

For two minutes, it was utter bliss. Jenna knew it would have to end, but for now…she breathed deeply as Trevor held her tighter. She gave over to him, completely, his strong hand on her lower back moving her in time with his body. Together, they swayed slowly, barely moving from their one spot on the dance floor. She warmed at the feel of their two bodies, tight together.

His hand spread wider on her back, claiming her as his own. She sucked in a choppy breath, an undeniable ache forming at the thought of belonging to Trevor. He pulled her closer, and she clung to him, knowing she was safe, protected, and wanted. He leaned down and breathed her in, and for a moment, Jenna felt such a responsibility toward him—she wanted to protect him from anything and anyone that may hurt him—including her.

She squeezed her eyes shut, holding on tighter as she whispered, “Trevor.”

****

That one little word—his name—whispered in her soft, breathy voice, was all Trevor needed to throw caution and his plan of playing it cool, to the wind. Desire burned like a raging fire in his gut; before Jenna, he had never felt these feelings—these feelings of protectiveness and peace and happiness and possibility and strength—and love. And tonight the feelings were too strong to deny any longer. Trevor pulled her closer; they were no longer dancing, they were morphing into one. The only time he had ever felt this close to another person was when he made love to her, all those weeks ago.

“Jenna…” He needed her to understand he was here for her, and always would be. Thankfully, the song ended at just the perfect moment, and he sang the final words of the song into her ear. “I’m in love with you…” Trevor waited for her to push away from him, but she didn’t. Instead, she looked up at him with her beautiful eyes, glowing. Trevor took her by the hand, protectively. “We’re leaving now.”

She nodded. She understood. This was his time. Tonight, he would win Jenna Joyce, once and for all. He held her hand firmly as they made their way around the room, saying their goodbyes.

Loretta smiled brightly at Jenna. “Not staying for dinner?”

“I guess not.”

“It’s vegan, anyway.” Luis sighed, leaning forward against the table. “Go grab yourselves some burgers.”

A woman at another table shot Luis a dirty look.

Luis cleared his throat. “Tofu, of course.”

Trevor said goodbye, shaking Luis’s hand and kissing Loretta on the cheek. Texting his driver, he led Jenna to coat check, but Jenna still hadn’t uttered a word. Quickly, he laid her wrap over her shoulders and guided her out onto the cold streets of New York. She bounced on her toes in response to the bitterness, and Trevor wrapped his arm around her to keep her warm as he escorted her into the waiting limo. Settling in, he gave the driver directions. Finally, he turned to Jenna. Flushed, beautiful, Jenna. Every time he looked at her, he needed a beat to pass, just to reclaim his senses. He reached out and rested his hand on her shoulder. “We’re grabbing something to eat.”

Jenna nodded.

“And then, finally, we’re going to talk this thing through.”

There really was no option. He wouldn’t bully her or coerce her into anything she wasn’t ready for but frankly, it was time she was ready. She was a beautiful, talented young woman who was in a beast of a business, and that meant there would be people at every turn trying to take advantage of her. He had seen it so many times. But Trevor knew in his heart he belonged with her, that it was his job to protect her and watch her become a star, rising higher than she ever imagined. This was only the beginning for her…and for them.

The only real problem he faced tonight was the unknown, her secret, and more importantly, her reaction to her secret. That was the one variable he couldn’t control, and despite his confidence, this one little worry was eating away at him. Their show was ending soon and if he couldn’t get to the bottom of this now, he may very well lose her forever. He shifted in his seat. Losing her for any amount of time was out of the question—losing her forever was unthinkable.