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When the van pulled into the trailer park, Gertrude was back by her own steps waiting. She had left Tornado with the kids. They had seemed to need him more than she did at the moment.
When the van stopped, Gertrude was relieved to see that Norman was driving. Norman was a retired bus driver who volunteered to drive the CAP bus several days a week. Gertrude thought he was kind of hot, with his shaggy hair and tattoos, though he was much too old for her.
“Norman!” she exclaimed as she climbed into the middle seat of the van. “All alone today?”
“So far, yep. I had to take a few guys to the drugstore, but since then, things have been slow.”
“Well, good, ’cause I don’t want any witnesses for this.”
Norman looked at her in the rearview mirror and there might have been fear in his eyes.
“I need you to take me to the nudie bar, Norman.”
“What?!” Norman cranked around in his seat so he could look directly at Gertrude. “Why?”
“I can’t explain, but I assure you it’s for a good cause.”
“Gertrude, that’s not what the CAP bus is for. I can’t take you to a bar.”
“I’ve got two Washingtons that say you can,” she said slyly, holding out two wrinkled, filthy one-dollar bills. Norman sighed, turned around, and put the van in drive.
As they drove around the loop, Gertrude saw two little eyes peering at her from the window of trailer number nine.
“You know, it is only ten o’clock. This isn’t exactly a breakfast joint. They’re not even going to be open.”
“That’s OK.”
“It is?”
“Yep. Don’t worry. It won’t take me long. And you don’t have to come in.”
“Come in? Of course I’m not going to come in. And I’m not going to wait around outside the bar either. This job don’t pay much, but I still don’t want to get fired from it.”
“Fine then,” Gertrude said, sounding exasperated. “When I come out, I’ll just wait by the door. Just drive around the block until you see me.”
Norman laughed. “Lady, you’re nuts.” A few minutes later, Norman pulled up in front of Private Eyes. “If anyone asks, I’m going to tell them that I dropped you off at the thrift store,” he said, nodding toward the consignment shop next door.
“Yeah, right. Like I’d be caught dead shopping in that highfalutin’ place. Nothing thrifty about that joint, no there ain’t.” Gertrude slammed the van door as an exclamation point.
Norm just shook his head and drove away.
Of course, the bar was closed. Gertrude leaned on her walker with one hand and pounded on the front door with the other. No one answered. She knocked again. Still nothing. So she pounded continuously until someone answered. When the door opened, Gertrude was surprised. Her hand was also quite sore.
“Hello!” Gertrude said. “I’m looking for Lori. Have you seen her?”
“Don’t know any Lori,” the man said and tried to shut the door.
Gertrude picked up her walker and shoved one of its wheels into the opening.
The man opened the door. “Look, lady, I don’t know you. I don’t know Lori. I’m just the janitor.”
“Oh good,” Gertrude said, and pushed the door open. “I was afraid I was going to have to waste time talking to someone in charge. My name is Gertrude.”
“Andy,” a baffled Andy said.
“Nice to meet you,” Gertrude said, and pushed past him into the bar.
“Look, your friend’s not here! No one is here!” Andy spread his arms to indicate that he was the only thing to see.
“I know. I’m just looking for clues.”
“Clues? Why, what happened?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I need clues. Lori is missing.”
“Missing? Did you call the cops?”
“No, no police. I’ll find her. I just need some clues.”
“Lady, I don’t think this is such a good ...”
“It smells bad in here,” she said, scrunching up her nose.
“Yeah, well, that’s why I have a job.”
“So that’s where they do it?” She pointed a stubby finger at the tiny circular stage surrounding a single pole.
“Yeah. That’s where they do it.” Andy chuckled, but it sounded reluctant. “So, um, I have to get back to work, so can you ... like ... go or something? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to let you in.”
“Yep. I’ll just be a minute.” She looked at the bar. Then she walked around the bar and stepped behind it. She ran a finger along the top of it as if she was testing for dust. “It’s sticky,” she said, curling her top lip.
“Yep.” Andy crossed his arms across his chest and sighed.
Gertrude bent over to look under the bar. “Is Lori a stripper?”
“What?”
She stood back up. “Is Lori a stripper?” she said slowly.
“I don’t know,” he said just as slowly. “I don’t know Lori. I don’t know anything except that I want to get you out of this bar.”
“OK, just show me where the girls put on their costumes and whatnot, and I’ll be out of here.”
Andy sighed and headed toward the back. Gertrude followed him into a narrow hallway. Several open doors led to several small, empty rooms. “What are these?”
“Uh, those are for private dances and stuff.”
“Oh,” Gertrude said and quickly moved past them. They went by another door that said Do Not Enter. “What’s in there?”
“The office.”
“Do you clean the office?”
“Nope.” Andy opened the door to a small room with gray walls. Gertrude stepped inside. There was a couch along one wall and a long counter along the other. Over the counter hung a long mirror. Various feathers and sequins were spangled on the floor. “Satisfied?” Andy said. “There’s no one here.”
Gertrude shuffled over to the mirror. The bar was littered with lotions, sprays, and various cosmetics. She shuddered when she spotted a Grace Space lipstick.
“You’re right,” she said, turning back toward the door. “I don’t see any useful clues.”
“OK then. Can you show yourself out?”
“Sure can.” Gertrude headed for the door, still examining her surroundings as she went. When she reentered the big room, she marveled at how many tables and chairs there were. She hadn’t realized Mattawooptock had that many “gentlemen.”
She squinted as she stepped back out into the sunshine and was pleased to see Norman there waiting for her. She hoisted herself into the van and then pulled her walker in after her. “I thought you weren’t going to wait.”
“Well, truth be told, I was getting a little worried. You were in there a long time. I wasn’t sure how much time someone could spend in a closed nightclub. Where we headed now, the liquor store?”
“Don’t be silly. Back to the trailer park, Hoke!”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Yes, Norm.”