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Gertrude slept for thirteen hours straight.
She awoke to someone knocking on her door. She sat up, knocking a few cats off her in the process, and slid her feet into her slippers. Her hair looked like she had rubbed a can of mousse in it and then stood between opposing high-powered fans, but she didn’t think to smooth it down. She wanted to see who was at the door.
There had been a few reporters there the night before, but she had given them a statement, and they had happily trotted along.
She peeked out a window and saw Andy and Samantha on her steps.
She opened the door. Andy jumped at the sight of her. Samantha elbowed him in the side.
“Morning!” Gertrude said brightly.
“Morning,” Andy said. There was an awkward pause while they both stared at her hair. Then Andy asked, “Could we come in for a minute?”
“Oh!” Gertrude said, stepping backward, and sweeping her hand in a ‘come on in’ gesture. “Of course! Mi casa is you casa!”
They stepped inside. She closed the door behind them, and Andy handed her an envelope. “Here’s what I have right now, and I’m sure I owe you more, so just let me know what my balance is. I’ll pay you as soon as I can.”
Gertrude peeked into the envelope. It was full of twenties. She looked up at Andy. Then she handed him the envelope. “You know what? Don’t worry about it. I was glad to help.”
Andy’s jaw dropped. “But, Gertrude—”
“No, really, it’s all right. If you were rolling in the clams”—Andy frowned in confusion—“that’d be one thing. But I know you’re not. So really, this one’s on the house.”
“Wow, Gertrude, I don’t know how we will ever thank you. And I mean, I was thinking that before you just handed me this envelope.” Andy took a deep breath. “I gotta admit, I thought I was nuts hiring you. But I wasn’t. You did it. I don’t know how, but you really did it. You saved my Samantha.” He looked at Samantha then, his eyes full of adoration. He pulled her to him, and kissed her on the top of the head.
“All right, you lovebirds get out of here now. And Andy, you should know, I couldn’t have done it without Samantha. Well, actually, that’s not true. I could have done it without Samantha. But still, you should know that she was a big help.”
Andy smiled at Gertrude, then at Samantha again. Gertrude hadn’t known Andy could smile that much. She opened the door for them and shooed them outside. Then she headed toward the bathroom for a visit that was rapidly becoming overdue. She’d only taken about three steps when there was another knock at the door. She sighed and turned back toward it. As she opened it, she loudly said, “I told you, don’t worry about—”
Deputy Hale was standing on her steps.
“Oh, you.”
He smirked.
“What can I do for you, Hale? Come for some investigative tips?”
He shook his head, his smirk fading. “Gertrude, I don’t know how you did what you did. Sounds to me like you were reckless and got blind lucky. But I also don’t care. You want to get yourself killed, go ahead. I obviously can’t stop you. But that’s not why I’m here.”
“Oh no? You selling Girl Scout cookies?”
“I know you think you’re funny. But you’re really not. I am here because there’s been a complaint against you.”
“What? From who? Sue? Dave?”
“Who’s Dave? You know what, never mind. No, from Colby Rodin. He’s a PI in town—”
“I know who he is.”
“And he’s saying that you’re operating without a license. Wants me to put a stop to it.”
“And you’re his errand boy?”
Hale frowned. “No, but we do work closely with him sometimes, and I would like to stay on good professional terms. The thing is, he has a point—”
“I never told anyone I was a private investigator.”
“No, but you told them you were a gumshoe.”
“And is there a law against that?”
“Gertrude, I’m just saying, you’re treading on thin ice here. If something were to happen, you could easily get sued.”
Gertrude cackled. “It’s hard to get blood out of a turnip!”
Hale sighed. He rubbed his forehead. “I’m just saying. I think your choices are, find another hobby, or, and it pains me to say this, get licensed.”
Gertrude’s eyes grew wide. “Get licensed? Don’t you need to go to school for that?”
Hale nodded.
“All right. I’ll think about it. Is that all?”
Hale nodded again. “I think your heart’s in the right place, Gertrude. You helped to rescue those women, but you could have just called me when you figured out who it was—”
“And would you have listened to me?”
Hale gave her a long look. “How about this, Gertrude. I really, really hope there isn’t a next time, but if there is, I promise to listen to you.”