‘Jian, Green Sunset is outside the door, requesting urgent entry,’ Marque said. ‘She says it’s very important.’
I checked the time on the wall near the bed: nine in the morning. Haruka and Miko were still asleep, with Miko as usual sandwiched between us. I’d overslept after staying late at the party.
Haruka groaned softly on the other side of the bed – he wasn’t a morning person.
I pulled myself up to sitting. ‘Let me speak to her.’
Marque opened the door.
‘Is there a problem, Sunset?’ I asked.
‘Jian. Marque said you were sleeping – but this is really important. I had to excuse myself because it’s a Mushroom matter. The Mushroom President of Tropical Cavern Two is here seeing the Empress! The President was white with fury – he found out about the children. It’s escalating into a diplomatic incident and the Imperial Guard needs your guidance.’
‘What children?’ I asked, touching my stomach.
‘The ones the Hive are buying! Marque?’
‘He’s threatening to withdraw his nation from the Empire over what he calls “the trafficking of children by the Hive under the auspice of the Empire”.’
‘Just one Mushroom nation leaving, and the others remaining in the Empire? Can they even do that?’ I asked.
‘Yes,’ Haruka said from under the covers.
‘Some species have done it – one planetary nation leaves the Empire and the others stay,’ Marque said.
‘I’m on my way,’ I said, pulling myself out of bed and padding barefoot towards the bathroom.
‘When’s my first appointment for today?’ Haruka asked Marque as I closed the door.
I emerged twenty minutes later, showered and in a fresh Guard uniform. Haruka was waiting for me, similarly ready and in one of his diplomatic kimonos – pale gold with a wide obi in a darker gold, with gorgeous sweeping sleeves. He had the front of his long green hair tied up with gold pins stuck in the bun on top of his head, and the rest flowing down his back. He hadn’t had time to do his make-up.
‘I’m coming too, if that’s all right with you,’ he said. ‘Sunset asked for me.’ He winced. ‘My face is a mess.’
‘I can do it for you on the way,’ Marque said.
‘I do not have time to describe today’s colours to you,’ Haruka said with dignity. ‘I’d rather go without.’
I wrapped my arms around him. ‘Your appearance is irrelevant to these negotiations, the Mushrooms can’t tell the difference,’ I said. ‘Your soul is pure and bright and beautiful and I love you.’
‘She is entirely right, and I love you as well,’ Miko said from the bed without moving.
He squeezed me and spoke into my ear. ‘You always know the right thing to say, and it makes me love you even more.’
I gave him a quick kiss, making him smile. ‘I’m sure you’ll be needed.’
‘You are needed now, sentients,’ Marque said. ‘The President’s shouting so loud some of his filaments have come off.’
Miko changed to two-legged form and sat up. ‘Is Shudo available?’
‘No, he’s still on full-time over-parenting. The children don’t go into socialisation for three more of your weeks.’
‘Graf then,’ she said. ‘Jian’s off work!’
‘I didn’t have a chance to do the handoff to Graf; I was supposed to do it last night but the party got in the way,’ I said. ‘I’ll sort this out then do the handover.’
‘Don’t let her take a bullet for the Empress, my love,’ Miko begged Haruka.
‘I’ll guard her with my life, and so will Marque,’ Haruka said. He nodded to me, his green hair rippling with the movement. ‘Let’s go.’
The door opened to reveal Green Sunset, the Mushroom guard. She was a round greenish ball of fungal filaments, as tall as my shoulder, and had blue-and-silver ribbons tied through her threads to indicate her Imperial Guard status.
We charged through the corridors of the Imperial Palace complex, following Sunset as she rolled in front of us. She spread and shrank with distress as she rolled, her filaments twining among themselves and occasionally dropping off to wriggle for nearly a minute before they went still.
‘Deep breaths, Sunset, you’re losing filaments,’ I said.
‘I don’t breathe, Captain,’ she said, but her size stopped changing and her colour deepened to a pale green from the agitated white. Even her filaments stopped writhing as frantically.
‘You are a worthy guard, Sunset, that is magnificent control,’ Haruka said.
‘Thank you, my Prince,’ Sunset said, and then we were at the towering blue-and-silver doors of the Empress’ audience hall, where Graf was waiting for us.
‘Thank the many-legged you’re here, Captain,’ Graf said. ‘It’s quickly deteriorating from a diplomatic incident into a full-on crisis. The guards inside don’t know how to handle it – is this bluster or a genuine threat? The Empress told them to stand down, but they fear for her safety.’
‘I can’t go in, I’m too compromised,’ Sunset said.
‘Guard the door, Sunset. Graf, with me.’ I looked up. ‘You there, Six?’
‘Ma’am,’ Six said from the light fitting above us. ‘Five-Shriek is one of the guards inside and as usual has made things worse. It’s backed off when it should have tried to defuse the situation, and the argument’s escalated.’
Graf waved its palps at the ceiling. ‘You and Five-Shriek really need to do something about your constant bickering.’ It raised its body. ‘Ready, ma’am?’
‘All right.’ I straightened my collar. ‘Let’s do this.’ I nodded to Haruka. ‘Ambassador.’
He ran his hands over the scales on his temples and nodded at the door. Graf opened it and both of us winced as we heard the President yelling.
‘I just used a word outside parameters for polite conversation. And now we have fifteen ships at the edge of our space, and three of them aren’t even cats!’ the President thundered. ‘Another word outside parameters. Suggest using more casual translation protocols.’
He was a larger ball of filaments than Sunset, as tall as Haruka, with ultra-violet ribbons tied onto his outer strands to indicate his rank. He grew and shrank with irritation, and the floor was littered with wriggling fragments. The Empress stood next to her throne at the end of the vaulted chamber, and the rest of the chamber was deserted except for the Mushroom delegation and a couple of uncomfortable-looking Imperial Guards. The morning sun shone blue-white from the large windows overlooking the square, making the polished floor shine.
‘What else could they do? It was a chance to rescue the poor children. They saved Uo’s life,’ the Empress said, her claws clasped with emotion.
‘As I said.’ The President rolled around the room, past his bodyguards who stood to the side with the President’s wife. The First Lady was usually the same size as the President, but during this conflict she had shrunk to barely knee-high on me. ‘Three of the ships aren’t cat ships at all, they’re member species of the Republic, and the cats have ordered one of the species to buy passage with their word outside parameters children. They know the children won’t be harmed and that we’ll care for them.’
‘They want to sell their children?’ Haruka asked. ‘Surely you suggested something else in trade?’
‘Ambassador. There you are. Finally,’ the President said, changing hue to pale green. ‘We don’t want to trade! We want them to leave. We don’t want to deal with them at all, and we don’t trade in children!’ He flattened over the ground, then rose to a ball again. ‘The Hive has created a de facto currency for trade between the Empire and the Republic, and it’s word outside parameters children. I would not be surprised if the cats have started collecting more children buy their way through Empire space!’ He spun in front of the Empress. ‘Why didn’t you stop this, Silver? You had to know this would be the outcome. More children will be wrenched from their families, used as toys by the cats, and then traded like cheap trinkets to buy passage through the Empire.’ He stopped spinning and stood still. ‘This is completely unacceptable.’
‘What else could the Hive do, reject the children and send them back to be tortured and killed?’ the Empress asked. ‘It’s not like the Hive had much choice – it needed to save those lives. I know how important your children are to you – you’d do the same thing.’
‘Not like this,’ the President said stiffly.
‘What policy have the other nations on your honoured homeworld adopted with regard to this?’ Haruka asked the President.
‘My nation, Tropical Cavern Two, is the largest, so the cats approached us first. Once I decide what to do, the rest of my people will follow my lead.’
‘Will the other Fungal Consciousness nations leave the Empire if yours does?’ Haruka asked him.
‘I don’t know,’ the President said, shrinking slightly. ‘The Prime Minister of Arctic Cavern Four is a dragonspouse to the Empress. I doubt very much that she’ll give that up, she’s very much in love with the Empress.’
‘Four of the eight national leaders on the President’s homeworld are my spouses, and I love them dearly,’ the Empress said.
‘Spouses or not, we will not traffic in children,’ the President said, and his filaments stopped moving and went rigid. ‘This is not negotiable.’
‘Can you suggest an alternative?’ Haruka asked.
‘To what? Trafficking in minors?’ the President said, the tendrils moving again.
‘The issue is clear,’ Haruka said. ‘The Hive are allowing the cat ships through their space in exchange for the children. You are not. Would you accept something else in trade from the cats?’
‘They didn’t offer anything else. Giving the children to the Hive worked so quickly they obviously thought we would be just as . . .’ His filaments went rigid. ‘I just used an ancient archaic term suggesting immoral sexual proclivity. We would not permit those word outside parameters through our space anyway.’
‘Lift the goddamn filters, Marque,’ I said through comms, frustrated.
‘There are no equivalent words in your language,’ Marque said.
‘If you leave the Empire, you will lose all the trade and transport advantages that we provide,’ Haruka said.
‘As well as our protection from the Hive,’ I said.
‘Oh, Jian,’ Haruka said under his breath as the President flashed dark grey that rippled over his tendrils.
‘We don’t need your protection! Are you really digging up this conflict again? Next thing you’ll be calling me a word outside parameters Mushroom!’
Sorry, I said telepathically to Haruka.
‘If you leave, you will lose all the advantages of Empire membership – for no reason,’ Haruka said. ‘The Empire isn’t asking you to traffic in children.’
‘The Empire asked us to let the cats through – and they are already at the edge of my species’ space!’
‘May I suggest a compromise?’ Haruka asked, folding his hands into his sleeves. I glanced at his face: he did the hands-in-sleeves thing when he was particularly agitated and was concerned that others would see that his hands were shaking. ‘Don’t deal with the cats at all. Let us deal with them. We’ll take them from the edge of your space and you won’t see them again.’
‘What will you do with them?’ the President asked suspiciously, but he had gone from grey to greenish-grey.
‘You don’t need to know. Let us handle it.’
‘Can you guarantee the cats will leave and we won’t have to talk to them again?’
Haruka bowed to the President. ‘I can.’
‘Can you guarantee that no more children will be trafficked?’
‘Rescued, yes. Trafficked, no.’
‘Not good enough. My original point still stands: you are allowing them to establish children as a currency and they will kidnap more to attain their goals. Whether you perform the transaction out in the open or hidden from sight, this is not acceptable.’
‘We can’t leave children in the hands of the cats. They are tortured and murdered,’ the Empress said.
‘I won’t argue in circles with you.’
‘Will you hold off making a decision until I have spoken to the other parties involved?’ Haruka asked. ‘Let me talk to the Hive, and to the travellers in the ships at the edge of your space. I’m sure I can work out an arrangement that’s acceptable to everyone.’
‘I’ll give you one of our of time periods that’s equivalent to seventeen of your days,’ the President said, his filaments still halfway rigid. ‘Any solution you suggest must not include the sale of children – and I want to see proof that it’s not occurring. Tell the goddamn Hive to stop trafficking in children as well. The Empire has done some despicable things in the past – the slavery of your own goldenscales spouse included – but this is absolutely deplorable. It must stop.’
‘I understand, honoured President. Leave it with me.’
‘Take us home, Silver,’ the President said.
‘Sorry about that,’ I said as we walked more slowly back to our quarters.
‘It was already a disaster on a par with our wedding night,’ he said. ‘I don’t think anything could have made it worse.’
‘Tell me what happened on your wedding night, please,’ Six begged from the light strip above us. ‘Marque refuses to share what went so badly wrong.’
‘I can’t share because I don’t know!’ Marque said. ‘They were on private.’
‘Everybody knows that privacy mode is a joke,’ Six said. ‘You watch everything.’
‘Seriously, I don’t,’ Marque said. ‘I’d love to know what went wrong as well.’
‘If Marque told you what happened,’ I said, ‘everybody would know for sure that privacy’s a joke.’
‘I have never monitored anyone who asked for privacy,’ Marque said with dignity.
We entered our quarters, where Miko was waiting for us with a plate of grilled mutton in front of her, and a selection of breakfast fruit and bread on the table. She poured tea as we sat with her.
‘Marque relayed – you said that it was as bad as our wedding night?’ she said. ‘It can’t have been that much of a disaster.’
‘I’d say it was worse but we all know that isn’t possible,’ Haruka said.
‘What happened on your wedding night?’ Marque asked. ‘How could anything be that awful?’
‘I need to go back to my office and start putting the team together for the negotiations,’ Haruka said. ‘I need a click to help me negotiate. How many ships at the edge of Mushroom space? Fourteen?’
‘Fifteen,’ Marque said.
‘Some of them are cat subjugate species that we know very little about.’ Haruka put his head in his hands. ‘I understand that the cats missed the original transport to their homeworld and just want to go home, but why are subjugate species travelling from the edge of the galaxy to cat space?’ He sighed and raised his head. ‘I’d better go.’ He rose, stood between me and Miko, put an arm around each of us and kissed us. ‘Make sure she eats, Miko, she’s eating for two now. And take your time teaching your sisters to gate.’ He squeezed us. ‘Both of you work too hard.’
I squeezed him back. ‘You only have seventeen days to sort out a disaster as bad as our wedding night. I think you’ll be the one working too hard.’
He went out.
‘What happened on your wedding night?’ Marque asked again.
‘Marque, please put us on privacy,’ I said.
‘That’s not fair,’ Marque said, sounding petulant. ‘You can just mute me. You don’t need to lock me out.’
‘Privacy please, Marque.’
‘Done.’
‘So what happened with the Mushroom President?’ Miko asked me.
I cut a piece of bread from the fresh loaf, realised I couldn’t ask Marque to toast it for me, and put some strawberry jam on it anyway. ‘Haruka managed to keep them in the Empire, but he has an enormous amount of negotiating to do. Let me tell you all about it.’
Ten days later, Tomoyo folded us on Miko’s ship to the border of Hive and Mushroom space where the fifteen Republic ships were waiting for us. Oliver, Haruka and SnapRap, a click, joined Miko, Tomoyo and myself on the gallery as we watched the cat ships drop out of warp. SnapRap looked like a mantis, as tall as me, but its consciousness was shared between three bodies within its bubble of lower gravity.
The twelve cat ships were enormous – their largest cruisers, short of the flagship itself, and each big enough to hold a small town. The ships belonging to the subjugate species were much smaller – one of them only the size of a single-person transport vehicle – and were dwarfed to insignificance by the larger cat ships next to them.
‘Give me a few more nanoseconds to scan the colour of the cat ships for clan affiliation; their range of greys is significantly wider than any other species,’ Marque said.
Haruka glanced at me. ‘Are you sure this will work? Claiming Aishishistra is a huge gamble.’
‘Yes,’ Oliver and I said in unison.
‘These ships were still at the edge of the galaxy during the revolution,’ I said. ‘They’ll have been updated on the new procedures through teleport communications, but their attitude will be pre-revolution.’
‘It looks like my clan colour to me,’ Oliver said. ‘If they’re members of my clan it will definitely work, but they may try to “accidentally” kill Jian to avoid the obligation.’
‘You’d better protect her, Marque,’ Haruka said sternly.
‘I will,’ Marque said. ‘This sphere is disposable. If they try to infiltrate it with nanos, I’ll warn you to leave, then self-destruct.’
‘I still don’t like it,’ Haruka said.
‘Well?’ I asked. ‘Is it Oliver’s clan?’
‘Yes, it is,’ Marque said. ‘These ships were at the edge of the galaxy when the Clan Sishisti coup happened, and obviously failed to return to the homeworld. They’ll be loyal to the previous regime.’
‘Good,’ Haruka said to Oliver. ‘They’ll recognise you as your father’s inheritor and obey you.’
‘Not my father, Otosan,’ Oliver said.
Haruka didn’t physically react to being called ‘Father’ and Oliver’s emotions changed from affection to disappointment.
‘Oh geez.’ I gestured with exasperation. ‘Did you have to do that right now, Ollie? The last thing he needs is to be crying with joy in front of a species who value cool, emotionless detachment in their relationships.’
Oliver moved next to Haruka and put his arm around Haruka’s waist – they were a similar height.
‘Sorry, Haruka,’ he said.
Haruka pulled Oliver close and kissed the furry side of his head. ‘I’m fine. I may need to take the occasional “crying with joy” break during the negotiations, though.’
‘Just let us know if you do,’ I said.
Haruka leaned his head on Oliver’s shoulder, his voice thick with emotion. ‘I never thought I’d earn the honour of being called Otosan by you, Oliver Choumali.’
‘Already ten times over,’ Oliver said. ‘You and Miko have made Mum the happiest she’s been in many years.’
‘You may enter,’ the cats said through comms.
Oliver and Haruka separated with a final affectionate pat. Miko created a gate and we stepped through onto the cat ship. Tomoyo remained on Miko’s ship, her front claws clasped and her eyes wide with pride.
All the cats’ ears went flat when they saw us, and their whiskers went even flatter when they saw Oliver. They were wearing the older cat space uniform in the black of Oliver’s clan.
Oliver stood with his back straight and stared the other cats down, glaring at each of them in turn. Haruka and I spread our arms, leaned forward and moved our butts from side to side in the general cat greeting for respected social equals. The cats stared at us with contempt. We straightened and waited for them to speak first, and they didn’t.
Looks like they don’t recognise him as his father’s inheritor, I said telepathically.
‘Let’s try claiming Aishishistra and take it from here,’ Oliver said through comms.
Snaprap took over. ‘We are here to negotiate your passage through Empire space. Captain Choumali returned the cat child’ – it used Oliver’s cat name – ‘to his father and claims Aishishistra. Is there a location within this ship where we may comfortably speak to each other? Or, if you prefer, you may come to our ship.’
The cats were again silent for a good minute, and Snaprap raised one front appendage to indicate patience.
‘I’m into their comms,’ Marque said through our own channel. ‘They’re making no attempt to lock me out, and their nanos have already died from starvation so far from any stars, so I’m in no danger from the little bastards. The cats are arguing about Jian’s status and whether she can actually claim Aishishistra. They know that it’s no longer valid back in the Republic, but they’re more familiar with the old ways and they know that she has a valid claim, even though Oliver didn’t fully inherit. Consensus is: yes, she can claim. They want to respect their “lost heritage”, particularly since the Sishisti coup removed their clan from power. They’ll provide you with full Aishishistra benefits. Big sigh of relief all around, guys.’
‘Aishishistra is given,’ one of the cats said.
They unholstered their weapons and raised them, pointed at the floor, for me to inspect. They then placed them in a locker at the side of the bridge. Oliver removed his own weapon, raised it for me to inspect, and placed it on the floor next to him.
‘I really don’t like this,’ Miko said through comms. ‘This puts both my spouses and my darling stepson in terrible danger.’
‘Jian has lightning-quick reflexes, she’s enhanced human, she’ll be the only armed sentient in the room, and she has your backup,’ Oliver said through comms. He nodded to Haruka, who pulled his swords from his belt and placed them on the ground. ‘Shoot first and ask questions afterwards, Mum, you can basically do whatever you like to defend yourself and they won’t question you.’
The cats finally did the greeting by raising their hands and wiggling their butts. They then approached Oliver and touched the side of his face to acknowledge his superior status. Everybody except Oliver wiggled their butts in greeting and the cats guided us from the bridge to a small meeting room. It had a central low table with several flat screens and cushions around it on the carpeted floor.
I stationed myself standing behind the Empire delegates to guard them, and everybody else sat on the cushions around the table. A female cat in the white robes of a bonded virgin emerged from the side of the room holding a bucket. She scooped kibble out of the bucket and placed a small pile of it in front of each delegate at the table, hesitating when she arrived at Snaprap. She nearly threw the kibble at the table in front of the click’s three bodies and scurried away from it. She went out of the room and returned with an urn shaped like a coffee pot full of the cat drink, neowra, which was like a savoury fish broth served warm. She placed cups in front of each delegate, including three for Snaprap, then knelt in the corner as far away from the click as possible.
Everyone except me took a single piece of kibble delicately in one hand – Snaprap using its front pincer – and studied it for nearly a minute before putting it in their mouth. I winced; I knew exactly what the kibble tasted like and never wanted to taste that liver-like dusty crunch ever again. I didn’t touch it.
The cats watched Haruka silently without moving, as if they were waiting for him to erupt. When Haruka didn’t speak, the cat leader gestured over the table. ‘Colonel Choumali, as holder of the benefit of Aishishistra it is customary for you to partake.’
‘Cultural note,’ Marque said on comms. ‘It’s a level three insult to refuse the refreshments.’ Its voice changed to amused. ‘Additional note: Haruka’s kibble is poisoned.’
I furiously raised my weapon and Haruka broke in on comms. ‘Don’t shoot anyone! Marque already neutralised it.’
I lowered my weapon and scowled as I spoke through comms. ‘They just tried to kill you and you’re shrugging it off?’
‘They had to know it was ineffective,’ Haruka said, still on comms. ‘So whatever the motive, it makes no difference. They’re probably just insulting us.’
‘Only Haruka’s food has the poison in it; they’re targeting him and ignoring me,’ Snaprap said. ‘I’m not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.’
‘Would you like to use the assassination attempt as leverage?’ Marque asked. ‘I can provide evidence.’
‘Only if we hit an impasse and we can’t talk this though first.’ Haruka squared his shoulders. ‘Let’s find out why these huge ships are in the middle of Empire space.’
‘I would have shot the lot of them right between the eyes already; you have the patience of a saint,’ I said in comms, then switched to out loud. ‘I would prefer not to partake as I am acting as a bonded female service guard for my spouses.’
The female cat’s face filled with awe and she stared at me. The male cats showed no expression, but their emotions were surprised at my knowledge of their culture, particularly towards hidden females.
‘We acknowledge your right of Aishishistra and your service duties as bonded female,’ the leader said. He turned to Haruka. ‘Let us discuss our transport through Empire space. We wish to return to our homeworld.’