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Dante
I stared at the black night leading into the forest. Part of me wanted to disappear into it like I used to when I was a kid. Take Charlie with me. Forget all my worries. Live simply and happily with her.
“Dante?”
“Why did I bring you here?” I repeated her question.
“I wish there was an easy answer to that,” I said. I knew why. But for the first time that I could remember since the night my mother died, I was afraid ... afraid to speak my mind.
“Why?” Charlie asked innocently. “I’m no threat to you, so I can’t imagine why it’s so hard to answer.”
“You’re the biggest threat Charlie.”
“I would never say anything about what you’ve told me Dante. I swear it,” she said, fear spreading across her face. I hated myself all over again.
“You really don’t know, do you?” I asked, turning to face her.
“No,” she said.
“So it would come as a complete surprise if I told you that when all of this is over, I want a life with you Charlie?”
“You what?” she said.
“I want a life with you,” I repeated, more to convince myself that I’d said it out loud than in answer to her question.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you want the same thing,” I almost pleaded. “I think we have the makings of something that could be really good if gave it a shot.”
“You really know how to throw a girl for a loop,” she said, her forehead between her right thumb and middle finger.
“I don’t know why you’re so surprised.”
“It could have something to do with the fact that we barely know each other.”
“Time is no indicator of how well you know someone. I’ve shared more about myself with you than I have with anyone else – ever,” I pointed out.
“But still; there’s so much more that goes into a relationship.”
“Like loyalty, trust, communication,” I said.
“And love Dante. You haven’t mentioned love.”
“What is love if not those things?”
“So are you saying you love me?” she asked.
“I don’t believe in love, not as it’s defined by today’s standards. It’s a word that’s used too lightly. People fall in love with shoes and houses and cars. How can that same word be applied to what a man and a woman who care about each other share?”
Charlie bowed her head, her expression hidden under her lowered lashes.
“I will be loyal. I will be kind. I will be thoughtful. I will be generous. I can give you all of that.”
“But you can’t tell me that you love me?”
“Would you rather hear love, or see the emotion in action?” I countered.
“Dante it would never work between us.”
“I disagree.”
“If I’d met you a year ago, I would have accepted your offer without hesitation. But now...”
“Why not now Charlie? What’s different now?”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way ... but you are everything I’m trying to move away from. Even if things get squared away with your brother; the life you lead. It’s not something I could sign onto.”
“Very well. I’ll show you to your room,” I said cryptically.
Charlie was a sweet poison that I knew I’d never exorcise from my veins. I remembered my father being kind of obsessed with my mother. Not in a bad way, but in a ‘there’s no other woman on earth that I could have made a life with’ kind. Inexplicably, that’s the way I felt about Charlie. I knew that I’d compare every woman after her to her.
And ... I also knew that none would ever measure up.
“I’m sorry Dante,” she said, at the door to her room.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry Charlie.”
She smiled sadly at me. “For a man who doesn’t believe in love, you just said what is quite possibly the most romantic line from the most romantic movie of all time.”
“Life is full of ironies, isn’t it sweet Charlie?”