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“You did what with his crown jewels?” My best friend Felicity shouts.
“Sssh, not everyone in town needs to know I grabbed his dick.”
“I bet it was a good one.”
The memory makes me smile. “I was.”
Harper, who owns the local bakery, puts our order of coffee and cupcakes on our table. “Enjoy, ladies.”
I take a big bite of my strawberry cupcake. “I can’t take responsibility for it. I mean, I was sleeping, for fuck’s sake!”
Felicity wiggles her eyebrows. “I bet it was an amazing dream.”
I groan. “The hottest. I dreamed he was eating whipped cream off me while I was spread out over one of his restaurant tables. Am I crazy to be mortified about that?”
“Of course not, but I’m positive the guy didn’t mind playing the leading part in your sex dream.” She sighs. “I wish someone had a dream like that about me. I want to find true love once and for all.”
“And you will. Besides, it’s not as if I love Stuart. We just happened to be on the same plane home, that’s it.”
“But you did love his dick,” she giggles. “Exactly how big was it, anyway?”
I slap her on the arm with my napkin. “I don’t know. It’s not like I have anything to go by. You know I’m a virgin, Felicity.”
“Well, so am I, but that doesn’t mean I can’t dream of a big, hard—”
“Stop.” I laugh. “There are other people here. They might hear you.”
“Oh, don’t be such a prude. I’m sure everyone in here has seen a dick before. Except for us.” She sighs again.
“I’m getting worried about you, girl. You should try to focus on other things.”
Every year, Felicity becomes more and more desperate to find true love. She’s an amazing person, and I honestly don’t understand why she’s still single. But the way she lets her singlehood define her entire life can’t be fun for her.
“You’re right. Here’s something else to focus on. Your brother. I still have to find him a birthday present. You don’t happen to have any tips, do you?”
I grin. “Well, since you’re asking...”
She holds her hand up. “Oh, no, none of those ridiculous gifts you guys keep buying each other. Don’t you ever get tired of this prank?”
I shrug. “I’d love to stop that silly tradition, but only if he stops it first.”
Felicity rolls her eyes. “Ugh, you guys can be so immature together.”
“What are siblings for if not to get on each other’s nerves?”
She takes a sip of her coffee. “Come on. Colin isn’t that bad. You’ve lucked out in the brother department, except for the nasty birthday gifts, but that’s just boys being boys. He’s a decent guy and fun to be around.”
The cogs in my head start spinning. This isn’t the first time she’s talked about my brother as if he’s a wonderful guy. Don’t get me wrong, he is, but he’s still my brother. It’s my duty to be annoyed by him. But Felicity? It’s almost as if she likes him.
My eyes grow wide.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that, Em?”
“You like him!” Now I’m the one shouting.
She nervously looks around the café. “Who? Nooo. I don’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You’re a bad liar.”
“Fine, you’ve got me!” She grabs my arm and shoots me a dramatic look, her voice lowering to a whisper. “Please don’t tell him. He can’t know.”
“Why not?”
She harrumphs as if that’s the most ridiculous question ever. “I’m not going to act on my feelings, okay? He’s a friend. A good one, for that matter. Me telling him I have a teensy tiny crush on him would fuck that all up.”
I tap my fingers on the table. Suddenly, things are adding up. The reason she hasn’t found the right guy for her, why she can never shut up about my brother whenever I call her... “This isn’t some silly crush. You’ve been in love with him forever.”
She opens her mouth, but no sound comes out.
A smile creeps over my face, and I nudge her leg with my foot. “Girl, we could be sisters-in-law.”
“Wow, hold your horses, Em. As much as I would want that, it’s not going to happen.”
My phone buzzes with an incoming call, and I check the screen to see who it is. Mom. “This conversation is not over,” I tell Felicity before directing my attention to my phone. “Hi, Mom.”
“Honey, I’ve got great news,” Mom starts. “Do you know Martin and Julia’s son, Kip?”
Uh-oh. Not this again. Mom thinking she’s doing me a favor by setting me up with every one of her friends’ single sons. “Mom, please, don’t.”
She scoffs. “You don’t even know what I’m about to say!”
“All I remember of Kip is that he and I never had anything in common when we were in high school.”
“Oh, honey, that was eons ago. He’s changed.”
I frown. “Really?”
I can practically hear her beaming with delight through the phone. “He’s a lawyer now.”
“So?”
“So that means he’s not only charming but also successful and smart. What else could you ask for in a man?”
“A sense of humor, perhaps? Kip used to be a stiff nerd, Mom. I doubt that’s changed. I’m sorry, but I won’t go out with him.” Silence falls between us. “Mom?”
She lets out a dramatic sigh. “I already told him you’d go out with him. In fact, he’s picking you up in one hour. He drives one of those electric cars. Very sophisticated.”
“Mom!” I realize I’m yelling, but I’m past caring. “I don’t give a damn about sophisticated cars. All I want is for you to stop meddling.”
“Is wanting your daughter to be happy called meddling these days? One date. That’s all I ask for.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I take a deep breath. How do I tell her I grabbed a man’s dick on a plane and have no room in my mind or heart for anyone else now because he fills up every available inch? That I can’t stop thinking about him filling me up?
I pinch the bridge of my nose with my fingers. “That doesn’t matter. Look, I’m not going.”
“You have to. I told him you would be delighted to go out with him. If you really don’t want to, then I guess you should tell him yourself.”
“Wait, what? You know I can’t do something disrespectful like that.”
“It’s only one date, honey. Have fun! We won’t wait up if you know what I mean.” She pauses. “You do know what I mean, right? Just make sure you take the safe route.”
I can feel my strawberry cupcake making its way up again. “Ew, stop, Mom. I’m hanging up.” I end the call, seething with anger.
Felicity hands me the rest of her cupcake. “Eat this. It’ll help you calm down.”
“Why does this always happen to me? Every time I return to Trout Creek, my mother forgets her promise of never setting me up with a date again and then pulls the exact same thing.”
“How bad is it this time?”
“It’s Kip Armstrong.”
Felicity pulls a face. “The guy who used to tell people he believed women should stay home and look after the kids? Wow, good luck.”
I groan. “I’ll need it.”
“Call me after, okay?”
I get up and give her a hug. “Thanks. You’re the best bestie a girl could ask for. Anyway, I’m out of here. I should get ready for my date.”
She gives me a thumbs up. “You’ve got this. Oh, and if you want out, tell Kip what happened on the plane. I bet you’ll be back home in no time.”
I laugh. “I wish I had the balls.”