Trevor woke with a slight headache. His early morning jog was once again more of a walk, but he stayed out for longer, letting Ellie prance until they were both exhausted. His day was going to be busy, so he took something for his headache when it lingered, and had a bowl of cereal while his grandmother attacked the rose bushes with soap and water to keep away aphids.
He messaged Sky because he couldn’t stop worrying that he’d pushed too hard. You’re all right? That was okay?
His grandma had another appointment with a different specialist, a simple meet-and-greet, but Trevor got her in the car for that, and the drive was nearly an hour. Then he came back to drop her off and see that she was settled before he was off to run errands again. A delivery vehicle was parked in G.G.’s driveway when Trevor pulled out. It was of course gone by the time he returned from gassing up the car and then going to the bargain grocery store, the regular grocery store, and the organic grocery store to get everything on his grandmother’s list.
The sky had darkened and the air was faintly sticky. The weather and changing air pressure might have been the reason for Trevor’s headache, which returned after lunch and a lesson in bread-making.
He didn’t even get a chance to enjoy the bread. The skies opened with unexpected rain, and he was sent outside to deal with the plants in the garden while his grandma stood inside by the sliding glass door and shouted worried questions at him.
She sent him to shower and nap afterward. Trevor had objected, certain he didn’t need a nap, but his grandmother had watched him take headache pills twice and probably thought he was sick, so he went, then surprised himself by falling asleep on top of his covers almost immediately.
He woke to his phone chiming with work emails and task reminders.
He came out from his room to find his grandma had prepared food for dinner already.
“Everyone needs a rest,” she told him gently. She must have been more worried than Trevor had thought. He summoned a smile for her and she sighed in relief. “I thought if you had a night off, you could watch my show with me. I’ll let you have some of my weed,” she added, amused at even saying it, because Trevor had bought it for her and helped her learn what she liked and what worked for her.
“Okay,” he agreed without knowing what show she meant. Then she handed him a dish and told him to take it over to G.G. and hurry back, since, after the day she’d had, she was certain she would fall asleep early and wanted to have a ‘nice evening’ with him.
Trevor placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head to make her smile, put on his shoes, grabbed his umbrella, and then took the dish before stepping outside. The rain wasn’t heavy, but he’d been soaked already once today.
G.G. answered the door in no time at all.
Trevor swung the umbrella down to look at him, feeling some of the tension from his headache leave his shoulders when G.G.’s eyes crinkled at the corners, as if he had smiles in his thoughts.
Trevor handed him the dish with no small amount of regret. “Pasta salad and a sandwich made with fresh bread. I’m sure it’s good, but I haven’t tasted it yet.”
“Did you want to come in?” G.G. said the sweetest things. He didn’t even offer a reason. Though he seemed to realize it, because then he added, “Change my bandage for me?”
Trevor drifted forward, halting his progress before he gave G.G. the kiss that was on his mind. “Sorry,” he said, straightening. “Yes, I can do that. But my grandma wants quality time, so she’s my dinner date tonight.”
G.G.’s smiling thoughts made it to his lips. They turned up as he stepped aside to let Trevor in.
Trevor left the umbrella on the porch and sighed the moment he was inside the house, which was cool without being cold and smelled like coffee. Trevor liked the smell, and the drink, he just wasn’t as in love with coffee as much as his grandmother was.
“Some might say it’s late for caffeine,” he remarked. “You don’t have trouble sleeping? A lot of people seem to.”
G.G. paused to give him a study, or maybe to let Trevor go first through the kitchen door. “You look tired. Are you all right?”
Trevor must have been a disaster. “I’m fine. A headache,” he admitted a second later, but tried a smile as he immediately crossed to the counter to get the bandages. They’d been replenished and then some. “You’re all stocked up,” he commented with a pleased sigh. “Excellent.”
G.G. had color in his cheeks when Trevor turned around.
The dish of food was on the island. G.G. was back in his spot at the nook. “Well, I didn’t want you disappointed,” G.G. said, gaze briefly coming up in a way that was almost flirtatious.
Was flirtatious.
Trevor was at his side instantly. G.G. offered his hand and Trevor made a big deal of checking the nearly pristine bandages.
“This looks good. How’s your other hand?” A few dishes were neatly stacked in the sink, unwashed. That felt flirtatious too. G.G. had listened.
“I didn’t use it,” G.G. answered, watching Trevor expertly unravel his previous day’s work.
“Good. Good.” Trevor nodded eagerly without asking if G.G. had wanted to use that hand and what he’d wanted to do, although he thought of it. He spent another few seconds examining the much better color around the wound in G.G.’s hand. “This is in great shape. You’re taking good care of it.”
“Am I?” G.G. wondered huskily. “I think that’s you.” His gaze was warm. “Are you sure you’re all right? Do you want some of my ibuprofen? I don’t have anything stronger.”
Trevor closed his hand around G.G.’s wrist. He stroked the thinner skin there once, then again, while trying not to let his throat close up. He didn’t know why the question had hit him hard, but he had to take a moment to recover. He wondered if this was like what Sky had felt last night.
“Thank you for asking about me.” He petted G.G.’s wrist again, possibly recklessly, but G.G. didn’t take his hand back and his gaze stayed warm.
“You do a lot. You should rest too,” G.G. pressed, but then pulled back. “If I’m allowed to say that.”
That hurt too, though Trevor couldn’t have said why. “You are, you sweet thing.”
He pulled in a breath, then dropped G.G.’s hand so he could reach for new bandages. “If I’m allowed to say that.”
G.G. was a brilliant pink.
“If you want,” he allowed at last, after a pause. His voice was huskier than usual. “No one…. That is….” He cleared his throat. “You’re the one caring for me.”
Trevor swallowed and gave himself until he was done redoing the bandages and had thrown the old stuff away before he said, “I think you could use that hand tonight, if you’re careful.”
“I’ll be careful,” G.G. promised, and brought his eyes up so that Trevor was caught staring at him and thinking of G.G. touching himself on command. If G.G. was going to do that; G.G. was keeping his guard up, and Trevor couldn’t even really say that he’d commanded anything.
But he dropped his shoulders and smiled again. “Good. You should get a treat.”
G.G. stared at him, not exactly frowning, before saying seriously, “So should you.”
Taken aback, Trevor had no real answer ready. “I do. I treat myself all the time.”
“Hmm.” G.G. studied Trevor for a moment longer, then got to his feet. “There are people in your position who can be selfish. But you’re not one of them. I wonder if you know that you’re supposed to care for yourself too.”
There was a weight on Trevor’s chest when he tried to breathe in. He forced it to happen anyway, then gave G.G. a wonky smile. “My grandmother says everyone needs a rest.”
“If my hand were better, I would treat you.” G.G. looked directly at him, then dropped his gaze. “If you wanted me to.”
Trevor had to wet his lips. “I think knowing you’ll be careful tonight when you use your hand is enough for now.”
He could just see G.G.’s mouth quirk at one corner. “Yes, Trevor.”
“And I’ll be resting,” Trevor reminded him with more calm than he felt to hear that. “Date with my grandma, remember? We’re going to watch some TV series Sky got for her.”
That brought G.G.’s head up. “They talk?”
“Yeah.” Since that probably required more explanation, Trevor gestured loosely. “Sky and I… he’s been part of my life for years. We were together until his job required a move. Now we’re friends, best friends. With kinky benefits.” Trevor tried another smile but knew it came out wrong. “He’s… several states away. So he and my grandma exchange emails. She is… the coolest person in my family. She’s never once misgendered him or asked an inappropriate question.”
G.G. blinked at receiving that information. Trevor tensed, his head pounding with renewed strength. He’d forgotten G.G. didn’t already know Sky. He clenched his jaw, prepared to say something harsh before walking out the door. Then G.G. tipped his chin up to meet Trevor’s eyes and continued to stare at Trevor with a gaze that made Trevor’s throat tighten all over again.
“That’s a nice family you’ve made yourself,” G.G. told him, understanding and soft.
All the air left Trevor’s lungs, taking a lot of his tension with it. Then he gave a start.
“A family?” he echoed with a touch of amazement. He had a family, but then he also had his other family who had been with him throughout lockdown and everything else. Sky, and his grandma, and a lazy cat, and Ellie.
He wondered if his grandma thought of them that way. If Sky did.
“I don’t think I made it,” he said, focusing back on G.G. “Just circumstance.”
G.G. raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment.
Trevor needed… Trevor didn’t know what he needed. To kiss G.G. and apologize for freaking out at being told he’d made himself a family, even if G.G. couldn’t see him freaking out about it. To step outside into the rain and close his eyes. To go home and sit with his grandma and get high and not think for a while.
He kind of wished then that he could let go like Sky, or like G.G., who seemed to want to let go in a way Sky didn’t. G.G. should get to do that soon. As soon as they’d talked and Trevor could arrange it, he was going to do his best to allow G.G. to let go, and rest, and feel nothing but good things.
But not tonight. He was tired, and G.G. got that.
“I want to kiss you,” Trevor told him, then sighed. “But I won’t.” G.G. blinked several times. “Not yet. Not until….” Trevor waved to indicate the passage of time, and rest, and discussions that needed to be had.
G.G.’s mouth curled up at one corner again. The urge to kiss him only grew, so Trevor stepped toward the kitchen door, and then made himself keep going until he was at the entranceway, and then on the porch. G.G. followed him, bright-eyed and concerned.
“We’ll talk soon,” Trevor promised, thinking he should have had some of the pills G.G. had offered. “Tomorrow, probably. Grandma keeps promising lasagna for you, which means me learning about making pasta. So. Now you’ve been warned.”
“You’ve been helping make all of my food?” G.G. leaned against the doorjamb and watched Trevor like Trevor picking up his umbrella was of crucial importance.
“Yeah.” Trevor shrugged. “But only to a degree. I’m still learning.”
“Another thing to mastermind,” G.G. remarked, then straightened his shoulders before Trevor could argue. “Trevor, thank you.” There he went, making Trevor’s body react and Trevor’s brain short-circuit. “When my hand is better, tell me what you want and I’ll make it for you. Please.”
“Of course,” Trevor said immediately in response to that word.
G.G. shook his head, almost exasperated. “You say it like that. Easily. My people aren’t about gestures like this. No one I’ve known has ever….”
Trevor frowned. “What? They can paddle you but not bring you a pie? Or let you bring them a pie? I mean.” He stopped. “I mean, I don’t know if paddling is your thing or not. Consider that a joke if you want.”
G.G. sighed deeply at Trevor again. But also was again careful with his answer. “No. No pies, or meatloaf… or cleaning blood from my kitchen so I wouldn’t have to.”
“Ah.” Trevor briefly looked down. “The Brian Trevor brand of concern can be less than sexy, I know.” He stepped backwards off the porch and swung his umbrella up at the same time. “You can ignore that part like my bad jokes, and I’ll work on the rest, if you still want that. When your hand is better, or whenever. Or not.”
“Trevor,” G.G. gave him his frown back, “they’re both nice. Both…” he looked like he was deciding on the right word, “warm.”
Warm.
Trevor, in just a t-shirt and jeans on a cloudy, rainy day, got heated at the word. “I want things to be good for people. I want that, even if that means hurting them how they want… how I want too, sometimes. To give them what they need and keep them safe.”
“And well-fed?” G.G. wondered. It could have been a reference to his dinner, but for a moment, G.G. looked as hungry as Sky had said he must be.
Trevor’s hand went slack on the umbrella handle. Rain hit his face before he brought the umbrella up again.
“Yes,” he agreed. “Yeah. Yes. I know you’ve done this, or something like this, before. But think about what you want before we talk. If you want to be taken care of, or if you also want us to fuck, or…”
“Yes.”
Trevor didn’t move. Neither did G.G. Then Trevor pulled in a breath.
He was trying to do this right. He was trying to be better and deliberate, not like how he’d started with Sky. So he did not sweep back onto the porch to take G.G.’s mouth in a ravenous kiss. He said, “Good. That’s good. Thank you for your honesty. I would like that too. When the time comes.”
G.G. shivered.
“In the meantime,” Trevor lowered his voice, “be careful with your hand tonight.”
“I will,” G.G. promised, red at the thought, or maybe at how much he’d decided to give away today.
“Would a ‘good boy’ be out of line?” Trevor wondered. If he wasn’t going to kiss G.G., he should at least get that.
G.G. closed his eyes and was slow to reopen them. He shook his head.
Trevor gave it to him. “Good boy.”
He waited until G.G.’s flush had deepened before he turned to go back home, his steps light despite his headache.
Across the street, the Lexus was in Nancy’s driveway, along with Nancy, the kids and some man who was probably the husband. The husband glared when he saw Trevor watching them.
Trevor wiggled his fingers in a swishy wave. Bobert enthusiastically waved back. It only made the husband glare more.
Nancy bobbed her head in a nervous greeting. Trevor gave her a wave too, and then Alyssa, Princess of Darkness, before swirling his rainbow umbrella at the husband.
Alyssa laughed.
Trevor headed up his driveway with his headache still there, but less of an annoyance than it had been half an hour ago.