Trevor hadn’t had time to think about what he’d been advised to think about: what he wanted. But it rattled around his mind as he carried his armful over to G.G.’s.
It would be nice to sit with someone in the yard he’d helped build, and to cook for them sometimes. It would be nice to know G.G. was enjoying the garden even if Trevor wasn’t there. The thought unlocked a deep feeling in Trevor’s chest, a rich, purring contentment to think of his creation being enjoyed by a particular person or persons. Sky needed the sun and fresh air even if he pretended otherwise. He’d like to see flowers and growing things. G.G. thought a garden could be paradise on earth.
Trevor wanted them both there. That wasn’t really news to him, although he had avoided thinking it directly. He was demanding the attention of two amazing people when he wasn’t even sure about having the attention of one amazing person.
He’d done the right thing, Sky had said. But Trevor wondered as he continued down the sidewalk to the largest house in the court. Maybe, like Sky, he’d been doing things for reasons he hadn’t wanted to admit to.
He didn’t have any right, he decided. But he wanted. So he’d ask. He’d try. To make Sky happy long distance and to coax G.G. into the garden and get him to smile. And get him all soft-eyed and wide open again. And fuck him.
And then introduce him to Sky. If Trevor was that lucky. If he worked hard.
But first things first.
He knocked on the door.
The last time Trevor had seen G.G. had been at G.G.’s front door the evening before. Trevor had been encouraging G.G. to eat dinner while stepping onto the porch to make his way home. G.G. had still been fuzzy around the edges, clinging to Trevor but trying not to, frowning and glancing away as if embarrassed at himself for being so needy even though he’d gone without what he wanted for years. Trevor hurt even trying to imagine an ache like that. So he’d given in with barely a struggle, swooping back in to press G.G. to the doorjamb and hopefully out of sight of the rest of the court before tipping G.G.’s head up for a lingering kiss.
Not his best idea, in retrospect. G.G. needed more than some kisses, hot though they had been. Trevor might have made things worse for him.
That occurred to him, way too late, when G.G. answered the door.
G.G. was cleaned and in crisp clothes, and had even trimmed his beard closer to his face, although it probably wasn’t as neat as he would have liked.
Miss Delilah was behind him, uninterested in an outside world she had likely never visited, strolling toward the kitchen as if Trevor’s arrival now meant dinnertime to her.
Also behind G.G. was one of those floor dusters and a vacuum cleaner. Trevor supposed floors could be cleaned with one hand but that really didn’t feel like a task that needed to get done all that urgently. G.G.’s house had already been tidy.
Then Trevor noticed a box of dusting wipes sitting at the foot of the stairs, and looked back at a far too bright-eyed yet exhausted G.G. and said, “I didn’t mean to wind you up more, baby, I’m so sorry,” and stepped into the house while G.G. was moving to let him in.
Trevor had been at least slightly worried that G.G. had changed his mind or would think he’d revealed too much, and would accept the food but scuttle back into his house forever.
That was obviously not the case.
Trevor shoved the door closed with his shoulder and then bent his head to stop G.G.’s anxious vibrating with a kiss. G.G. tasted faintly of coffee, which couldn’t have helped him calm down. The physical release yesterday had not been enough, and Trevor couldn’t even pet him now because his hands were full.
“Ssh,” Trevor whispered, giving G.G. a softer kiss and urging him back until he bumped into the wall.
G.G.’s eyes met his. “Brian. Please. I… please.”
No one could have denied him. Trevor couldn’t have even if he hadn’t partly caused this.
“Brian?” he echoed anyway, watching G.G. closely. G.G. was so desperate that he was tossing out the term Sky used.
“I handled it,” G.G. insisted, breaking Trevor’s heart. “I had it handled. For years I did. Even though you were there and I thought you could take it. Could take over. I wanted you to. It’s been years of only me, of me handling it, handling everything, taking care of it all. Please. I can’t. Please, Brian.”
“Okay.” Trevor couldn’t let him go on. “Okay. I’ll take care of you, baby. But not Brian. Not for you. You don’t need it. Trevor to start with, until you feel comfortable with anything else you might want to call me. Now breathe for me. Real slow. Let me see.”
G.G. shuddered on the exhale.
“So good. Thank you.” Trevor held G.G.’s gaze, breathing with him until he thought G.G. was steadier. “Take a moment. Trust that I will help you, and breathe, and tell me what you do all day when you aren’t building things? Read?”
The line between G.G.’s eyebrows came and went. G.G. opened his mouth, said nothing, then closed it to swallow.
Trevor hardened his voice. “I asked you a question.”
G.G. melted against the wall and blinked slowly several times. “I read.” Once he started, the words fell from him in one long, sweetly accommodating whisper. “Mostly on the couch so I can look out onto the street. I make plans for what I want to do and research what I’ll need. Household things, cleaning. The cats—cat needs time. I do puzzles, sometimes.”
“Puzzles?” Trevor so surprised and delighted he dropped a kiss on G.G.’s nose to G.G.’s soft confusion. “Excellent answer. You’re already so ready for this, baby. Puzzles?” Trevor couldn’t get over it. G.G. probably did them on that dining room table. “You’ll have to show me later.”
But for now, thoughts of the dining room table reminded him of the food he was still fucking carrying.
“Stay here,” he ordered, reasonably confident that G.G. would obey, and left him to go put all the crap he’d brought with him on the table. He was back in seconds. Some of the tension had returned to G.G.’s shoulders, but Trevor got to pet him at last. “I’m sorry. I won’t leave again.” He stroked one of G.G.’s cheeks, the side of his neck, using his other hand to hold G.G. still for another series of slow kisses to help force G.G.’s breathing to even out. He slid his hands down to G.G.’s wrists and kept his grip on them tight.
G.G. made a hoarse sound but then went quiet. His color was high. He stared at Trevor, still needy but trying so hard. “Trevor.”
“Who wouldn’t want to take care of you, pretty?” Something deep and forceful burned through Trevor at G.G.’s shock, something like irritation that no one else had called G.G. pretty in these moments but also something like pleasure. The pleasure won. Only Trevor, then.
Trevor tightened his hold on G.G.’s wrists while he considered what to do. It couldn’t be anything too serious; he had no idea about G.G.’s limits, for one thing. And he didn’t have plans for G.G. yet. But G.G. had plans, or at least, fantasies.
“Poor starving G.G.,” Trevor murmured, then released him.
G.G.’s eyes went wide. His mouth fell open, possibly to protest or argue.
Trevor raised his eyebrows and G.G. seemed to stutter over words he hadn’t said. His eyes stayed wide but he didn’t speak.
“Living room.” Trevor wasn’t used to being mean to someone who wasn’t Sky, but G.G. needed to learn Trevor meant what he said. “Now,” he added sharply when G.G. didn’t move.
G.G. could scuttle even in his own house. He skittered to the entrance to the living room, his gaze on Trevor the whole time, blinking as if he still wasn’t sure this was happening. He stopped when his socked feet hit the carpet. Then he waited.
That was better. Trevor didn’t smile though. “Keep going. You’re going to kneel for me in the center of the room.”
Another hoarse sound escaped G.G., but he moved, stepping backward with some care, apparently afraid to take his eyes off Trevor.
Trevor wasn’t leaving anytime soon, but it was his fault G.G. worried that he might, so Trevor didn’t comment on that. He stayed in the entranceway, watching G.G. swallow and stare at him and slowly find his way to the center of the living room.
It was then that G.G. finally looked away, glancing at the window, the source of the afternoon sunlight that filled the space. Anyone interested could walk up to G.G.’s house and look in that window, not that anyone would. Not even Trevor had gone that far… although he might have if he’d known G.G. would be on the other side staring out and wishing Trevor would claim him.
G.G. turned to Trevor, mouth soft and open as Trevor slipped off his sneakers to step onto the carpet. He started to drop to his knees.
“No,” Trevor stopped him, ignoring the wounded look on G.G.’s face. He glanced around, noting the bright throw pillows, and passed by the couch to snag one before he approached G.G. He tossed it down between them, focusing on the shush sound it made hitting the plush carpet and the odd little sigh from G.G. instead of his own nerves. “On the pillow. I’ll hurt you if you like, but only things that heal. Not your knees. On the pillow or you get nothing.”
G.G. sank down onto the pillow without a word, turning his face up toward Trevor when Trevor stopped in front of him.
It was simple, easy, to slide a hand through G.G.’s hair until G.G.’s eyes closed.
That was better. Still not enough, but better.
The house was quiet. Not even Miss Delilah’s tippy taps could be heard. Just Trevor’s measured breathing and a sudden gasping inhale from G.G. before G.G. suppressed it.
Trevor let G.G.’s hair run through his fingers again, then closed his hand to pull on the short strands, lightly, curiously, relaxing his hold to pet G.G. again for a while before trying another tug. G.G. made a strained sound, barely audible, then blinked up at him.
His gaze was bright but not sharp. He was starting to go fuzzy around the edges again.
Stillness was what Sky called it. G.G. might have his own name for how this made him feel unless he called it what most people did. Trevor didn’t know the feeling personally, but he liked watching it happen.
He pulled, a little harder, and was rewarded with another slow, dazed blink.
“Pretty,” he told G.G., admiring and warm.
G.G. swallowed. His throat was distressingly bare but that was something else to be addressed later.
“Touch-starved, aren’t you?” Trevor wondered without really expecting an answer. He hadn’t ordered G.G. to be quiet but G.G. seemed to struggle to speak when he was under. Trevor stroked the shell of G.G.’s ear and then his temple, before running his hand through G.G.’s hair again, enjoying how the touch of silver looked in the yellow-bright room. “I could keep you like this, in full view of anyone who might approach your door.”
G.G.’s eyes met his before G.G. quickly lowered his gaze to stare at the floor.
“You like that idea.” Trevor took that in with a shiver of his own. G.G. liked to be watched. Or liked the fantasy of it. Trevor would determine which at another time.
“I could read one of your books while you stay right there and look so pretty for me,” Trevor continued, trying to gauge if G.G. wanted that now, or if it would be better to deal with his physical hunger and then leave him to his stillness. He couldn’t ask G.G.; G.G. didn’t want to think. He’d been taking care of himself for so long, a thousand decisions every day with little reward. Lonely and starving with no one to please. “I could use your mouth,” Trevor suggested without really suggesting, watching G.G. for a reaction and smiling at the jolt that went through his body.
That might work; a hole couldn’t think, after all.
“To be clear, a No or a Stop works for me right now. Even shaking your head. Understand?” Trevor didn’t think G.G. was up for any other kind of discussion.
He pulled on G.G.’s hair, drawing his head back. G.G. blinked at him, somehow glowing in the sunlight and looking even softer at the slight hint of roughness.
“Understand?” Trevor demanded.
G.G. nodded, an absent thing, gazing sleepily up at Trevor in a way that made Trevor want to blush. “A No or a Stop. Yes, Trevor.”
His voice was fuzzy at the edges too.
“That’s better.” Trevor cupped his chin, brushing G.G.’s lower lip with his thumb and not at all surprised when G.G. parted his lips to ask for more. Trevor left him to want, continuing to pet him gently with one hand while forcing his head up with the other. G.G. was so good, Trevor probably didn’t need to pull his hair. But G.G. liked it, so Trevor gripped him harder.
“I thought about you too, you know,” he confessed while G.G. tried to get Trevor’s fingers on his tongue. “I saw those piercings through your shirts. I thought about them, about fucking you. I bet you take cock so well. I bet I’d sink right in.”
G.G. was red in the face. A whine slipped from him.
“Now that I know you, I don’t just think about that. I think about all those people you must have subbed for and bottomed for.” Trevor let G.G. have his thumb. G.G. started to suck it with a grateful noise and his eyes still trained on Trevor’s. “I pictured you kneeling like this, and speared open, and overflowing with come.” Another noise from G.G. that traveled up Trevor’s arm to his chest. “Because I knew you wanted to be filled, isn’t that right, G.G.? Sweet, little Gigi, who’s going to let me fuck his mouth and then kneel there for me like a good boy.”
G.G. strained against Trevor’s hold to try to get Trevor’s entire thumb on his tongue.
Trevor took his hand away.
G.G. panted up at him, gaze so hurt that Trevor nearly forgave him.
But like Sky, G.G. couldn’t be allowed to get away things, even if he was starving.
“I don’t like you impatient,” Trevor informed him sharply. “Apologize.”
“I’m sorry.” G.G. was so earnest with it. Taking a moment to frown and form words but then say them clearly. “I’m sorry, Trevor.”
Trevor gave him a soothing pet down the side of his neck. “I know you’ve been waiting a long time. That’s why I’m not going to punish you for that. But if you disobey again, you get nothing. If you kneel for me, you do only what I tell you to do.”
G.G. looked up but didn’t otherwise move. “Yes, Trevor.”
“I will give you what you want,” Trevor promised him quietly. “You’ll learn that and then you won’t worry anymore.”
“Yes, Trevor.” G.G. was sweet and gorgeous, and had probably waited long enough.
Trevor reached for his zipper. “Put your hands behind your back. Be careful of your injury.” The order was easy too. Everything was easier with G.G. watching him dreamily and dying to be used. G.G.’s hands disappeared behind his back, making him sway forward. Trevor took out his cock and jacked it to get fully hard, smugly pleased when G.G. didn’t hide his hungry stare. “Open up.” G.G. wanted to be filled and Trevor could give him that.
The last few years might have left G.G. slightly out of practice, but it was obvious he was experienced. Within a few thrusts, his throat was relaxed and his eyes were closed, soft noises escaping him when Trevor wouldn’t let him move, but no complaints. He’d tensed once at the beginning, his nose in Trevor’s pubes, his fast breathing hitting too close to panicked, so Trevor took to pulling back every so often, leaving his cock in G.G.’s willing mouth but letting him breathe.
Once G.G. was pliable and open again, warmly willing to be drawn forward by his hair to take the length of Trevor’s cock, Trevor slowed down to drag it out, counting to himself, talking, anything to extend the experience and G.G.’s pleasure.
They were in front of the window, he reminded himself, hotter with the realization, as if Trevor wanted an audience too. But of course he did, he thought with the kind of desperate hysteria that came from trying not to come for an achingly long time. Look at the submissive in front of him. If he could get Sky remotely that happy, Trevor would feel like an emperor.
“Look at you.” He was talking, but didn’t stop. G.G. either didn’t mind or liked it, and Trevor’s gaze was fixed on him, so he got to decide which it was as he showered G.G. in flowers and filth. “Look at you getting your face fucked right in front of the window where anyone can see.” Trevor was panting but so was G.G., and the sounds mingled with the sticky wet squelching noises from G.G.’s throat and found the corners of the room the sunlight didn’t reach. “You like that, don’t you, Gigi baby?” G.G.’s eyelids flickered each time Trevor used the nickname. The perfect name for a soon-to-be spoiled poodle. “You like me having you where someone can see? Nancy maybe? Shocked to discover her hero is the slut of the court?”
A whine at last, choked on Trevor’s cock. Trevor eased back to allow G.G. a moment to catch his breath, and then he fucked in again, twisting G.G.’s hair. “Being mine where others can see? Look at you, you gorgeous little cumdump, on your knees, mouth open, happily gagging. Starving for this, weren’t you?” He pulled off though it made him want to whimper the way G.G. did before he fluttered his eyes open and licked spit from his lips. “Weren’t you?” Trevor demanded hoarsely, and barely waited for G.G. to plead, “Yes. Yes, please—” before he thrust back in.
He pulled G.G.’s hair hard enough to leave his scalp sore, drawing him close as he fucked into him a few more times and then came down his throat.
G.G. took it, was eager to, swallowing without a struggle and protesting only when Trevor eased back. His whimpered protest ended when Trevor left his cock in G.G.’s mouth, resting it on G.G.’s tongue as G.G. swallowed again: spit and more come and probably more spit.
G.G.’s eyes stayed closed. He worked his tongue, not teasing, just hungry, but stopped when Trevor tugged his hair again. He settled in place after that, finding his breathe without any fuss or problems.
“Sweet thing,” Trevor praised him. He had to take several moments to even say that. He stroked G.G.’s ear, his wet cheeks and beard, his neck. He swept G.G.’s hair from his forehead and watched G.G.’s peaceful face for any sign of discomfort.
Trevor could leave him there until either his knees complained or Trevor could fuck him again, but Trevor didn’t want to do that to him, mostly for the sake of G.G.’s knees. He also suspected G.G. was hard in his jeans, which had to be painful. But he wasn’t demanding anything, enjoying himself as he was, so Trevor continued to pet him until G.G.’s breathing was close to even. Then he pulled G.G. off his cock.
G.G. listed after him but didn’t whine or object. His eyes slowly drifted open.
“Good,” Trevor told him. “Very good so far, baby.”
Trevor gave the room a glance, the books, the chair, thinking how nice it would be to enjoy one of those books in that chair with G.G. on his cock, spaced out and waiting for instruction while Trevor read. Or maybe read to him.
Fuck, Trevor was a nerd.
But he guessed G.G. was used to longer sessions and could take it. And he had years to make up for.
So Trevor put a hand to G.G.’s hot cheek to keep G.G.’s eyes on him and ensure he was listening. “I’m going to move you. Do you need help up?”
It took a few seconds for G.G. to manage a bemused frown, so Trevor said, “Stand up and come here.” He led the way to the cushioned armchair a foot at a time, staying close in case G.G. needed help, shoving the purple ottoman out of his way and taking the throw pillow when G.G. forgot it.
He dropped the pillow in front of the chair, then sat down and spread his legs so G.G. could get comfortable between them. G.G. was hard in his jeans, but he also wasn’t complaining, so Trevor ignored G.G.’s cock for now, occupied with getting G.G. settled.
G.G. sat on his legs this time, less practical for long-term sitting but kinder to the rest of his body. It was more private this way as well. They faced away from the window, and with Trevor seated on the edge of the chair, their positions were more intimate. It was also easier to touch G.G. and guide his head back down and leave him to be used as a cockwarmer.
Trevor let out a sigh and began to talk again. He thought, a little dizzy himself, that he’d been aching for this all this time too. “These books.” He waved vaguely at the bookshelves in between running his hand gently over G.G.’s hair and scratching his scalp. “I can see more of the titles now. Sky would be losing his mind at some of them. I’ll have to find your favorites. Should I read some of them to you while we do this?”
That must have sunk in, because G.G. made a small sound and shifted on his knees.
“Oh, you like this so much. Look at you.” Trevor was in awe. He pushed a finger into G.G.’s mouth alongside his cock and G.G. began to suck with drowsy interest. Trevor pushed them in farther. “You’re as hungry as Sky said you were, aren’t you?” It was a question G.G. couldn’t possibly answer, because at the moment G.G. had no idea what Sky had said. But he was hungry, for come, for cock, for subspace and affection. “Starving. Maybe you found someone to fuck you but not this. You were waiting for me.” Not true, but Trevor’s voice went rough because he wanted it to be.
A strong shiver went through G.G. He inched back in the next second, losing Trevor’s finger, the head of Trevor’s cock resting on a fat, trembling bottom lip. Another shudder worked through him.
Trevor cupped G.G.’s jaw. “You’re so good. An eager, good boy. If you let me, I’d keep you, get you something pretty to wear so you’d know all the time who you….”
Trevor had never said anything like that. Wouldn’t dare with Sky because Sky wasn’t his except for what Sky said in the heat of the moment when he’d do anything to make Trevor happy. That’s what Trevor had thought. Until last night.
He finally said it quietly. “…Who you belong to.”
G.G. turned his head, Trevor’s cock falling from his mouth as he pushed his face against Trevor’s thigh. He either shuddered again or hadn’t stopped shaking. Trevor put a hand over the back of his neck but G.G. continued to tremble.
“Breathe,” Trevor ordered. It wasn’t until G.G. obeyed, inhaling and exhaling with a choked noise, that he realized G.G. was crying. Trevor slid closer instantly, firming the pressure on G.G.’s nape and then smoothing circles over G.G.’s back. “I’m so proud of you,” he murmured, curling around G.G. as much as he could and petting him as gently as he knew how. “You did so well. Of course, I’d want you. Who wouldn’t want you? You were incredible.”
G.G. tried to protest. “I could’ve…”
Trevor shushed him ruthlessly. “You’ve wanted that for so long. You were perfect. Perfect for me in every way that matters. And we have all the time in the world to do more. Just breathe and stay with me. Stay right here with me, baby.”
Sky had only cried once, near the beginning, after being edged too far. Sky hadn’t thought it was too far, judging from how he’d teased Trevor about the whole thing the next day. But the sight of Sky curled away from him, tears on his face, was not something Trevor had gotten over quickly.
It happened, people on the internet had told him. An involuntary emotional release after a big high. But Trevor still wondered, still thought that he’d pushed harder than he should have or that he’d accidentally touched on something too personal.
He’d done that now, made G.G. feel too exposed or want more than he felt he should. But G.G. stayed with him, breathing raggedly into Trevor’s jeans, allowing Trevor to touch him and smooth down his hair. When he finally seemed to calm, he didn’t raise his head.
“Do you want me to make you come or do you want to stay like this?” Trevor asked, keeping his voice low.
G.G. took a gulping breath, then made a move that might have been a shrug.
Trevor understood. “No choices yet. Right. Keep kneeling for me then, baby. And when you’re ready, if you want, I’m going to make you feel good. But either way, I’m going to put you on the couch to rest for a while, and so I can clean you up. I could even read to you, if you want. Then we’ll have the dinner I brought over. I’ve got you. Don’t worry anymore. I said that and I meant it.”
With a pause, either to think or just to remember how, G.G. nodded. He made a sound in his throat but no words emerged. He nodded again.
Trevor resumed petting him, his satisfaction rising when G.G. tipped his head toward his hand to ask for more. Trevor gave it to him, sliding his hand into G.G.’s hair. G.G. put his cheek to Trevor’s thigh and exhaled, resting more of his weight against Trevor. Better than words, really. Easier to understand: Please take care of me.
Trevor curled around him as much as he could without moving him.
“I’ve got you,” he said again, burning up when G.G. relaxed at last.