Wednesday, November 9, 2013
A soft caress wakes me up, but when I open my I eyes I find Matthew is no longer in bed. I never know exactly what schedule he keeps, so I imagine he´s gone to work early today.
I push myself up on the pillows, looking at the disheveled bed; it´s a mess, proof of a restless night, twisting and turning. I have a monster headache courtesy of the numerous Bloody Marys consumed the previous night. The clock shows half past seven.
As I walk toward the kitchen to fetch a cup of coffee y remember last nights dream. It´s easy, it´s a recurrent dream that has been plaguing me for a while.
«I´m facing away from my line of vision, wearing a vintage dark blue dress that´s been in my closet forever. In my right hand is a heavy suitcase, in my left an umbrella in white and mauve -the colors I dislike the most-. Around me all is dry, an arid mountain in the middle of nowhere. I walk continuously and I can never see my own face. It´s windy and my red hair is pushed forward interfering with my vision of the horizon, of the overcast sky from which huge bubbles emerge.
0:800 hrs.
I leave the apartment with a radiant smile on my face. There´s no particular reason I should be so happy, yet something tells me it´s going to be a great day, even if the New York sky chose to be cloudy. There´s only one thing that could spoil my day: meeting Josh.
«How can I look him in the eye after last night? What am I going to say? What will he say to me? » A countless number of thoughts go through my head as I move through the over crowded streets and countless traffic jams in the noisy city streets.
I don´t even want to think about the possibility of being fired just because I didn´t give in to Josh´s advances. If they did, boy, would I fight back. I would definitely rat him out, no questions about it. «No, no, no! Out with the negative thoughts, Paula. It´s going to be a great day. I am going to have a great day. » I repeat this to myself over and over. I smile again, but it doesn´t last more than a few seconds. On the morning program on the radio, a nonchalant announcer is talking about a murder at the agency where I work:
«The police arrived at six forty this morning after being alerted by the cleaning lady of the prestigious advertising agency, DIC, -to which, by the way, I sent a CV two years ago and hasn´t replied, radio doesn´t pay much, you know?- Anyway! The murder occurred last night. We will keep you posted as new information develops. And now, let’s all put on a smile! We all know Wednesdays suck, but the weekend will be here in no time! On with some music!»
I switch off the radio. I am stopped at a red light and I´m all goosebumps. A name comes to mind immediately: Josh. Who else could it be? He was the last one left in the office, there was no one else.
A part of me would have chosen to go home and avoid the comming crash with reality. A murder! At my work place! On the other hand, I want to park my car and get up there as quickly as I can to see if I am right; if Josh is no longer with us.
Sometimes I ponder about death. I have always believed that when we die, there´s something more; that inside our bodies a soul dwells that flies free when the end comes. I believe in the existence of other dimensions, a place where the souls that have departed from the living make their home.
I enter the parking lot, find my spot and remain in the car for a few seconds staring vacantly, with my hands on the wheel, squeezing hard. A chill travels down my spine, from end to end, and I begin to suffer hallucinations. “Josh? Is that you Josh”? A car parks beside mine. It´s Lisa, abruptly she jumps out of her car and taps my window.
“Pula! Paula, come on! What a mess! Let´s get up to the office and see what´s happened.” She tells me as if it was some kind of a show we are not involved in. I stare at her bewildered, shaking my head I try to rid myself of that feeling of confusion that is so common when facing the unknown. Or at least that´s what you think.
“I heard about it Lisa. Let´s go up and see what´s going on.” I reply as calmly as I can, wrenching myself out of the car and walking beside Lisa to the lift that will take us up to the office.
CHAPTER 3