Thursday, October 10, 2013
Although the meeting room where Josh was killed is still cordoned off, there are no policemen working there anymore. The blood had been cleaned and no doubt the glass partition would be replaced soon to make it look like nothing had happened.
The atmosphere is still tense. It´s impossible for all the employees, with their multiple tasks and responsibilities in the numerous advertising campaigns, to concentrate on their work. That includes me.
“Paula. Can you step into my office for a minute?” I´m surprised by Samantha´s voice as she stands at the door to her private office. There´s a sad, troubled smile on her face.
I walk into the spacious, stately office. The large glass table at the center is covered with papers. Chaos has taken over our boss; her countenance is strange and saddened.
“Without Josh as idea man, the latest project has been canceled.” Samantha informs me dispiritedly. She signals me to sit in one of the ample black leather seats in front of her desk. “Would you like a drink?” She asks pulling a bottle of whisky from a recessed mini-fridge.
“At eight twelve in the morning? No, thanks.” I answer with a nervous, stiff smile.
She ignores me and fills a glass for herself. She begins to pace nervously while I wait for her to continue.
“We´ll get over this. We still have five campaigns in progress, and the ones to come. We are not short on work, but we have lost an account worth millions. Do you know what that means?” I nod my head, fearing the worst: layoffs. Will I get fired?
“I like you Paula. Your mind is as creative as Josh´s” she continues, “You know, you were his right hand, don´t you? I know you had an affair years back. I don´t care. Who hasn´t had an affair with Josh?” She blushes. It´s the first time I´ve seen the boss blush, and it worries me. “I know it´s been hard on you too. It´s been hard on all of us.” She says more to herself than to me as she picks up a framed photograph from her desk I had never remarked on. She stares at it with tears in her eyes, runs her fingers tenderly over it and shakes her head.
She smiles at me.” That´s why I´ve decided to assign you Josh´s position. Starting today, you will be the agency´s head idea man. And we will add a zero to your pay. Agreed?”
I can´t believe it. I´m paralyzed staring at Samantha. I don´t know what to say.
“Paula? Do you accept the position, or should I offer it to Nicole? She will be pretty upset I didn´t offer it to her first, she´s been here longer than you.”
“No, no... I accept, of course! It´s just that I´m a bit flustered, you know? Everything has happened so fast. I was the last person to see Josh alive and it pains me so...” She nods knowingly.
She wants me to keep talking, but what I would like to know is if she knows about Josh´s disquieting past. The death of his father in a wreck, his mother´s illness, which he apparently inherited. I want her to talk to me about Josh. I need it. Did his drug problem get out of hand? Was he in trouble with the Mafia of something? Did I know the real Josh?
“Samantha. Do you know who could have done this?”
“No one at the office. I´m sure Paula,” she replies hurriedly, “ I know the people I work with, honest, responsible, intelligent and good people all in all. Somewhat competitive and ambitious, yes... but not to the point of slashing someone´s neck. As you know, we run all kinds of tests and interviews, including personality profiles.” She says without great conviction. We all know that those tests could be passed by five-year-olds.
“Josh´s position was very important, Samantha, were there any rivals?”
“Other than Henry Weissman of the Smith Agency... He and Josh were nominated for an important award. But believe me, Henry wouldn´t hurt a fly. I want them to catch the killer Paula, maybe more than you do. Deep inside I cherished Josh. With his strangeness and unknown inner world.” Samantha shakes her head and looks again at the picture on her desk. “But that is to be expected of a genius, right? That´s the way they are... different. They border on madness. And now Charlotte is laying in a hospital bed, fighting for her life... It´s madness...” She concludes, taking a deep swallow from her glass of whisky.
“What do you want me to do Samantha?”
“Take over two of the publicity campaign,” she responds as she digs in her drawer for the files, “a shopping center and a toothpaste brand. It´s no big deal, but it´s your chance to put yourself out there. Talk to the clients, ask them what they want and come up with something. Come up with a magical world in which selling is the main focus of your work. That´s what Josh used to say, right?”
“A magical world...” I muse.
I think about Josh. He´s dead and suddenly I feel him standing beside me, patting my shoulder, staring at me fixedly as he did when our affair started. I feel his tongue playing with mine, his breath, fresh and delirious, his lips on mine. I think I hear a whisper... but I don´t know what he´s trying to tell me.
“Paula?” I rise, scatterbrained and lost, grabbing at the folders Samantha´s holding out to me.
“Are you OK?” I nod. “Will you go to the funeral? It´s tomorrow at eleven.”
“I´ll be there.”
I walk out of the office, folders under my arm and return to my cubicle. Samantha´s watching me from her office, whisky glass in hand, while I look around the tiny workspace I´ve occupied for the last ten years. I will soon be out of here and in Josh´s spacious office.
I turn to look towards Josh´s office. I can still see him, sitting behind his computer, his elbows propped on the glass table, staring at me curiously with a whimsical half smile.
For a second, I can swear my phone is going to ring and it will be him, asking me to step into his office. A part of me wishes to be ten years in the past, when I was his lover, his colleague, his friend.
A colleague he betrayed when he found true love. A colleague he used selfishly to satisfy his needs, to fulfill his wildest sexual fantasies. The fantasies of a twisted, sick mind whose existence I completely ignored.
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