Friday, October 11, 2013
“Paul...?
“Hello Paula, so sorry about the time” It´s detective Tischmann on the line.
“That´s OK, I can´t sleep.”
But I don´t tell him why.
When I got home I found a note from Matthew, saying he needed to get away from me for a couple of days. That he needed a breather.
There´s something else though, he´s hiding something and I´ve known it for a while; I just didn´t want to admit it.
It´s Joana. I feel betrayed, not only by my husband, but by the woman who used to be a good friend.
“That makes two us,” he laughs sadly, “Paula, where do you live?
“In the Soho.”
“Well, so do I.” She seems happy at the coincidence.
“I live on Thompson. You?”
“Right beside you, on Wooster St. Would you like...” She knows he shouldn´t, but I know he´s going to do it anyway, “I don´t know, maybe we could have a drink?”
“We could meet in about ten minutes at the bar that´s right near my house. It´s called Jimmy´s. Do you know it?”
“Yes... unfortunately I know it well. I´ll see you there in ten minutes, Paula. Till then.”
“See you there, Paul.”
23:32 hrs.
I´m still wearing the clothes I took to the funeral, so I head for my closet and pull out the dark blue dress Josh liked so much when we went to Joana´s exhibition, a mere ten years ago.
That was the time I saw Matthew for the first time. This is the dress I wear only in my dreams: when I see myself dressed in it, walking on an empty, arid field, overhead a bubbly sky.
Without really thinking, I open Matthew´s dresser and notice a lot of clothes missing. Will he be coming back? In the middle of a panic attack, I dial his number, but it sends me to his mailbox. Two, three, four more times... Matthew´s turned off his phone.
I imagine him, with her, making love in one of the millions of apartments in New York, where he just moved in.
I don´t have Joana´s number, she changes it constantly. The day we had drinks, we agreed to meet next week at her exhibition.
«You´re blowing everything out proportion, Paula. Breath in... breathe out... breath in... No. Matthew would never do something like that, not with Joana. She´s the one that introduced him to you, she always said he was not her type. Because of that, and other things, you ended up married to him. No, Paula, no, Matthew is not with Joana».
I say to myself, trying to calm down. I force a smile and slip into the blue dress. So classic, it never goes out of fashion.
I don a gray knit jacket and slip into a pair of tan flats.
I go into the bathroom to touch up on my make-up, and as I look into the mirror, I feel surprised at the thought: I want to look attractive for Paul.
In my thoughts, I am unfaithful to Matthew, I feel I am being unfaithful to Josh too; thought the later makes no sense.
“Paula... Paula.” A creepy male voice whispers in my ear. I am paralyzed. I know something dismal is going to happen. I am not alone, it´s very likely that Josh´s spirit will pay me another visit, that he will appear out of thin air with his slit throat. A visit from the spirit world. “Look under the bed, Paula... under the bed.”
My eyes go as wide as they have ever been. I don´t see anything. I just heard a male, raspy voice that doesn´t sound like Josh´s at all. I follow it´s suggestion and trying to appear calm, I kneel by the bedside to take a look.
I see a ring, but it´s not mine, it´s Matthew´s. I pick it up sadly and place it on his bedside table. I stare at it fixedly, as if that would make Matthew come back.
As I turn towards the bathroom once more, I see Josh, but this time there is a rope around his neck and his eyes are closed. His bare feet are suspended over an immense pool of blood, swinging placidly. I choke down a scream.
“Leave me alone! Leave me be!”
I close my eyes tightly and when I open them again, Josh is gone, as well as the pool of blood.
I don´t want to come back to this apartment. I don´t want to be alone.
It´s twenty to twelve. I leave the house and just three steps away from the door is detective Tischmann, waiting. With him I feel safe.
“Are you alright?” He asks as soon as I step into the bar.
“What are you drinking?” I avoid answering his question. I don´t want to talk about me, about these crazy thoughts. I want to know about him... everything about him.
“Whisky”
“A Bloody Mary for me, please” I ask the barman, as I recall Tuesday night when I was there with Joana. The barman scowls at me, I guess he remembers the other night. “I don´t usually come to this place, thought the other night... the night Josh was murdered, I was here with a friend.”
Detective Tischmann looks serious and broody.
“That´s your alibi? That you were having a drink here with a friend?”
“Do I need an alibi, detective?” I ask as I slide closer to him.
“No, I was just curious. What time was it?”
“I met my friend at ten past ten and I remember I was stepping into my building at twenty minutes to midnight.” I smile, “I was quite drunk...”
“I think I might have seen you” he smiles naughtily. “A few minutes later it was I who came in to get drunk.”
“Why?” I want to know.
“I caught my wife in bed with a guy.”
“I´m so sorry, Paul.” I place my hand on his shoulder and gently stroke his back.
“Shit happens.” He says trying to make it sound unimportant.
“If something like that happened to me, I don´t know how I would react.” I feel sorry for the guy. It probably did happen, but as they say, out of sight, out of mind. “I saw you at the funeral today. Did you see anything odd?”
“No.” He replies tersely.
“So many things have happened in just a few days... it´s disconcerting.” I look him in the eye.
He is staring at my lips, I know he wants me. I know that look.
“It´s turning out to be a pretty intense week.”
“Paul, why did you want to meet with me? This has nothing to do with the case, does it?”
He smiles shyly, and he seems to hesitate before replying.
“No. I know this is not right. But something about you is very interesting.” He accepts, as he smooths his hair.
“What about me?”
“I don´t know. You told me you would like to do whatever you could to help with the investigation.”
“Then, it is professional, Paul.”
“Not exactly,” he laughs nervously, “But together, we are going to find out who killed Parker.”
CHAPTER 7