Monday, October 14, 2013
Good. They´ve taken the bait. This should give me enough time to find Matthew and talk to him.
A part of me is furious because he didn´t trust me, he didn´t tell me he killed my boss, probably because he was furious when he saw him harassing me. On the other hand, I feel relief. Relief at knowing he is not with Joana, that he hasn´t run away with her. He left me for powerful reasons, but I´m surprised he didn´t go to San Francisco to his parent´s home, and not knowing stresses me out.
Now I understand why he avoided my questions, insinuating he had been with Joana. How could he tell me he had killed a man? Who can do such a thing? A shiver runs up and down my spine just thinking about it.
Joana didn´t find him at home that night. He was fast and competent. By the time I got home from my outrageous drunk with Joana, Matthew was already asleep in our bed. I remember the time: I left the office at 21:30 hrs., I´m sure I saw the shadow before getting in the elevator; the murder occurred between 22hrs. and 23 hrs., according to Tischmann; I got home at 23:50 hrs., after stumbling for ten minutes on the street, though I live only feet away from the bar; and at 23:54hrs., with Matthew by my side, I fell asleep. This means he had enough time to do Josh in.
––––––––
I shy away from the TV cameras and reporters that crowd the entrance to the building, and go up to the agency. Everyone looks at me, unable to understand what really happened.
“Let´s get some work done, shall we?” I exclaim calmly, taking over the agency in one clean sweep.
Lisa approaches me uncertain and dejected, she speaks almost in whispers.
“Paula, what exactly just happened?”
“I remembered. That´s all Lisa. I remember Samantha was here and it was she who killed Josh.” I say tearfully. I´m a compulsive liar, quite good, actually.
Lisa believes me, her mouth gaping open and her eyes wide with amazement. She is making me nervous. “Don´t you have any work to do , Lisa? Come on, get to it.”
“Yes, boss.” She replies with a forced smile on her lips as she turns to go to her workstation.
I scrutinize Samantha´s empty office and Josh´s too. It feels so strange not seeing them there. All my coworkers are looking at me, I can feel it. It´s time to leave my cubicle and move into the modern, luxurious office of the idea-man in the company. I will take my position as creative director of the agency; though I know it might last only a couple of days if they discover the truth.
I feel like a filthy traitor who has risked it all for love, without even knowing if Matthew deserves it. He has become a coward and I´m not sure I know him anymore.
We had the perfect life and he had to mess it all up... all of it. He did it for me though, trying to make me feel safe. I seem to understand it all, yet there are many things I´m missing. Details I´m unable to penetrate. Maybe I´m wrong and I would rather see Matthew as a cold-hearted killer, rather than as an unfaithful husband who left me for my best friend.
I try to concentrate on my work, though I know my job hangs on a thread. I organize the work under the scrutiny of all my co-workers, I make calls to client.
At noon, I call Lisa and Nicole in for a short meeting. They are acting strange, hanging their head, out of sorts. They are still affected by Josh´s death. I am too, but I try to downplay it for my own good and Matthew´s... wherever he may be.
“Girls, I know it´s hard. I also know we have lost some clients and the agency´s work has gone to pot due to what´s happened. But we have to be optimistic and trust that all is going to turn out OK.” I expound, trying to cheer them up.
“Why did they arrest Samantha, Paula?” Asks Lisa frowning.
“I told you. I remembered, Lisa. It seems impossible, yet it was her... She killed Josh.” I insist.
“I can´t believe that.” Nicole denies vehemently. “What are you hiding, Paula?”
I take a deep breath to calm myself. My legs are jittery. I force a smile and try to be honest with them.
“Samantha and Josh had a daughter.”
“What?” They ask in unison, perplexed.
“Nine years ago, the girl was murdered. It happened at the time when Samantha was out for a while. Remember?”
They both nod, their mouths hanging open in surprise, listening attentively. “That night, Josh attacked me, so I ran away, confused and terrified. But I have been having dreams and my mind began to open up slowly, until finally, I have remembered. And yes, I did see Samantha. And as I was going down on the elevator towards the parking deck, I heard the crash and... I don´t know, I imagine that...
I start crying disconsolately. I remember the times when I used to cry in class. If I was going to bomb a test, I would begin to cry, and the teacher would feel sorry for me and raise my grade so I could pass. It´s a foolproof tactic, it always works.
Nicole and Lisa feel sorry for me. They get up and come over to pat my back in consolation. I can´t see them, but I know they are looking at each other and see me as a hero who must have had a hell of a bad time for the last week.
“Oh, Paula, I´m so sorry. With what you´ve been through, you don´t deserve this. Not you.” Lisa says, feeling sorry for me.
I look at her strangely, but decide to go on with the show. I tell them that everything will be alright; that they should continue giving their best to their jobs. That the three of us will be the best creative team the company has ever had. Come what may
CHAPTER 10