Friday, October 18, 2013
“We´ll get through this.” Matthew tries to cheer me up, caressing my cheek.
“My God, Matthew, if you knew the horrible things I´ve done. I´m the most horrible person in the world.” I mumble through my tears.
“It´s OK Paula, we all make mistakes, and things work out in the end.”
“Thank you for being here Matthew. For standing by me no matter what. God, God, God... “ I repeat, dismayed. “I didn´t mean to harm you. Honestly. I didn´t want to...”
Matthew holds me tightly, trying to put me at ease. But as I run my hands down his bare back, a thin veil of blood trails my fingertips. I don´t know where it´s coming from, and as I look towards the lake, I see Joana, smiling.
“What are you lovebirds doing here?”
“Trying to calm Paula down, Joana. She needs our comfort.”
Then, as Joana comes closer, she pulls Matthew away from me and kisses him passionately. I watch them, shocked by the increasing flow of blood running down Matthew´s back, trickling down to mix with Joana´s in a glistening puddle.
My dream ends with the deep lake turning crimson as the outlines of my husband and best friend disappear in the mist, leaving me to rest on the dry, scorching ground under which their bodies lay interred.
I wake up in the driver´s seat of my car and start crying. The ghosts from the past are back. The dead are back to haunt me. Still drowsy, I can see Josh, with a deep cut in his neck, hiding behind a tree. He is looking at me. He opens his mouth, saying something to me, but I can´t tell what it is.
I remember. My mind has finally awakened. The clock has stopped and the fear returns. Madness has taken over once again, opening the door to the monster I have always been.