Luke finished the last of his calls and headed to the kitchen to make himself a drink. He’d been talking for so long, his mouth was as dry as the bottom of a parrot’s cage. He sounded like James Earl Jones. He was still feeling a bit tired and hungover, and his clients hadn’t taken it easy on him. He’d realised over the last few days just how accessible he’d been to them in the past. Call me any time was not manageable here, with all the upheaval. Plus, being a houseguest made him hyper aware of all his actions. He’d already trashed most of her gaff, and made a tit of himself more times than he wanted to think about too. Looking around the neat kitchen, he tidied away the dishes from the other night, flicking on some music to work to. Then he made a coffee, put some toast under the grill and hunted in the fridge for the cheese he’d bought. It was still there untouched, amongst the wine, fresh vegetables, and fruit. For a baker, she ate like an athlete. She’d still ripped into his steak though. It was nice to see a fellow carnivore enjoy a meal. Luke always loved his steak and pint nights with his dad down at the pub every Wednesday. The pair of them would never miss a week for the world. Till now. Today was Wednesday, and for the first time in their relationship, they weren’t even speaking.
His dad had never pushed him away like that before. The fact that he’d had a stroke at the wheel and survived a car crash barely intact was bad enough. They’d had to cut him out of his car, and he knew how his dad would have felt about that. He hated people hovering around him and never wanted a fuss – he was a proud man. But that moment in the hospital room had tipped Luke over the edge. He could see that he was the cause of his father’s distressed state. Although he couldn’t so much as utter two coherent words, there was no mistaking the cold look in his eye that shattered Luke’s heart into two. He just didn’t know why his dad had turned like that. It was the two of them against the world normally. The two Musketeers. All for one and all that.
That first night sleeping in Dad’s house alone had been the worst night of his existence. Even losing his mum didn’t match it. He was so young when she passed, he just didn’t have the same bond that he did with the parent who had raised him single-handed. His mother was a photo in a frame, an abstract idea rather than a tangible person. He and his father had done just fine though. They were the ultimate team, always had been. It was why he’d stayed at home for so long. He was happy with his dad, and his dad lived for him.
When he’d turned his key in the lock of his childhood home, there was no life within. No buzz of the sport on the telly. No Dad shouting ‘that you, lad?’ like he always did. As though they had loads of visitors. It always made him chuckle, and he missed it now. He might never hear that action again. This family home had no family left in it now. Just memories and the settling dust.
Plodding up towards his dad’s office, he opened the door and got to work. His father’s care would need to be looked after, and Luke knew his dad had always been a saver. There were no money worries, but he wanted to check his dad’s policy, see what healthcare they could get covered without Dad’s nest egg being used. One look at the staircase in the hall told Luke that things would need to change around here too. His dad had been pretty much resistant to everything done to help him at the hospital, and not only that, he was mean too. Angry. Frustrated. All things that Luke had never seen in his dad before now. He was … well, just Dad. Happy. Cautious. Predictable.
Opening his father’s filing cabinet, he was presented with their whole life. It was divided into files, all colour-coordinated with labels like TV LICENCE and CAR PAPERWORK. Luke’s heart clenched when he saw his dad’s handwriting on the labels. Would he ever sign his name again? Right now, he was so angry and deflated, he wouldn’t even try. The doctors had spelled out how hard Frank’s fight would be, and how much worse it could have been. How crashing his car brought people running to his side straight away. They’d spotted the signs, got him to hospital. He had every chance of recovering.
That was day one.
When Frank finally came to, the man Luke called Dad looked like a different person. Acted like one too. Luke understood, it was a lot. He’d been struggling with the news himself, but this was different. It was like the light went out in his father that day, and his dad seemed intent on smashing every bulb they tried to turn back on. When he’d kicked him out of the place, the nurses all giving him sympathetic looks as he passed them, Luke had sat in his car in the half empty car park and cried, hidden by the dark of the night around him. He felt like little orphan Annie, adrift without a responsible adult to hand. He needed to get his dad back, and fast.
Looking through the labels, he saw what he was looking for: INSURANCE. He reached for it, but in between the suspension file and the back of the cabinet was another file, hidden away. The label was tatty, faded and not written in his father’s scrawl. Luke recognised the style though. The looping S’s and Y’s. His mother had written SOMEDAY on the label. Pulling out the two files, he went and sat at his dad’s desk. He was long retired now, but still sat in here every day. Filing his post, writing to friends, talking to the birds that he fed from his windowsill every day. There were none there now, but he wondered how many mornings the birds would come to the window, looking for Frank. Luke pushed the thicker insurance file to one side, and slowly opened the Someday folder.
In it were clippings of holiday destinations, ideas for family days out in zoos, theme parks, anything that might take a person’s fancy. There were gardening ideas too, home décor. Kids games. Blue Peter crafting and sticking. Some of the photos Luke recognised, they were replicated from his childhood. He could still remember helping his dad. When he was old enough to hold a hammer, he was eager to be like him, do things together. Cutting all the wood for the sleepers, the pair of them painting them together in the sunshine with large glasses of pop filled with ice. He remembered the zoo days, the aquarium visits, the camping trips they shared. Man and boy, under the stars. He kept flicking through, realising that his mother had made plans for their lives together, their little family, but they never got to do any of it.
But his dad did. The articles and clippings, notes from his mum, notes with his own scrawl on, he’d kept it going. Adding to it, ticking off the ones they had done. He welled up when he saw the next one. His mum had written on one of the photos, a picture of the French Alps. In the sky, in blue pen, she’d written: Skiing holidays for the whole family! Can’t wait to tick this one off!
A tear slid down Luke’s cheek as he read his mother’s wishes, over and over. Stuff they had done, and many more they hadn’t. The more daring stuff didn’t have a tick anywhere. His dad had lost his mojo it seemed when it came to finishing the list. Maybe it was a bit too adventurous for Dad. He was a homebody, and he didn’t even watch the news anymore because it freaked him out so much. Luke had heard from family members how bubbly his mother was, full of life, daring. She drew the shyness out of her husband, just as much as he was the calm to her storm. And then the storm died out, and the landscape of their lives changed forever.
‘Oh Dad,’ Luke sobbed, closing the file and tucking both under his arm. The next morning, when he went home to his empty flat, the first thing he noticed was the invite from Hans, his longtime friend. Inviting him to come and stay in the French Alps, to share in the joy of Hans and Holly’s first child. He’d never met Holly properly. FaceTime wasn’t the same. He’d already bought the card to send with his regrets over not being able to make the trip out there, but looking at it now, something clicked. Rushing to the hallway to grab the files from his bag, he chucked the insurance folder on the kitchen countertop and rummaged in the ‘Someday’ folder for what he was looking for.
A second later, he was dialling.
‘Lukie boy! How are you? Calling to tell me you are snubbing my unborn child for another week sat in front of a screen like a pasty loser, yeah?’
Luke smiled, the first hint of adrenalin running through his veins.
‘Not quite, mate. Not quite. Listen, you got a minute? Something’s happened, and I need your help.’
*
Hans had already been up and popped his head around the door like a giant bouncing ginger Tigger. He bounced around for a while, mooned Luke whilst he was on a conference call, and then headed back downstairs to work. No mention of Rebecca, or where she was, but he did raise his eyebrows at the sofa. Luke had almost opened his mouth to tell Hans about the planned joint purchase, but he realised just in time how weird it sounded. It sounded odd, that he would end up owning half a sofa, with a girl who baked in the Alps. It sounded odd to a normal person, let alone someone with Luke’s highlight reel. He hadn’t exactly been adventurous, prior to this lunacy abroad.
Slicing some cheese to put onto the untoasted sides of his bread, he looked out of the window. This place was amazing. He felt different here, detached. More fun even. It felt nice to share a place with someone too. Since he’d moved out of his parents’ house, he’d been well aware of the empty feel of his flat. After the calls had stopped, and everyone else was settling in for the night. It felt nice to be in someone else’s space, with someone else for company.
Taking his cheese on toast and cuppa through to the lounge, he sat back on the sheeted sofa and ate in silence, looking around at Rebecca’s things. Or lack of them. The furniture was nice, but there wasn’t any personal feel to the room. Any of them really. It looked like a holiday cottage, all set up for life, but no evidence of living. She had no photos around, nothing that told him anything real about her.
She liked nice bed sheets, and things kept clean. She read books, he’d seen a few laying around. Notes in the margins of some of them, bookmarks and sticky tabs in others. She liked nice perfume, and good shampoo. She hated most humans, and he didn’t know why. He’d always felt awkward around people, but that wasn’t it with her. He’d watched her with customers. She was relaxed, open, and unguarded. Around Hans too. She trusted him, but he suspected that even that hadn’t come easily. She was a puzzle, and he was already here trying to solve another. He thought of the call earlier, the one she’d overheard. He’d never got the chance to tell her about his dad, but she seemed to be in a hurry. Finishing off his food, he placed the plate back on the coffee table, and noticed something underneath. On the floor, one corner just poking out from under the wood, was a black book. He leaned forward, and pulling it out, he noticed the gilded gold edges, and the title of the book. Photo Album. He stared at it for a while, before putting it back underneath the table. Right where he found it. He wanted to know about her, but he didn’t fancy pissing her off any more either. His fingers tingled at the thought of what was inside, what made a woman like her hide herself away here, without seeming to need or want anyone. He couldn’t really understand that. He couldn’t cope without speaking to everyone he wanted to back home. It was killing him being away from his dad, and he’d thought he was going to have to be sedated to even get on the plane to come here. It had felt so terribly wrong to be leaving, especially now. Even if his absence was what his dad wanted. Luke had avoided work trips abroad at all costs before, being a homebody just like his dad, wanting to stay close, and now he felt a little stupid to have only just used his passport.
They were so different, Rebecca and he, and being shoved together had obviously mortified her. Still, he could see glimpses of the real Rebecca coming out, and that’s who he wanted to know more about. He just wasn’t about to go riffling through her underwear drawer. He had caught himself sniffing her perfume bottle this morning, and that was bad enough. He’d half expected Gillian Anderson to come running in and arrest him. God, I’ve watched too much bloody TV for my own good. He just couldn’t resist though, he could smell something around Fir Tree Lodge he couldn’t place. A nice smell. Turned out, it was her. It must be sharing with a girl after living in a man only zone with his dad. Even their cleaner had been a man. He’d hardly grown up with a woman’s touch, despite the adoring women that his dad had attracted over the years. A single dad was like a baby gazelle to the voracious tiger-like mum set in their little village. He was hot property for many years, but his dad never bothered with any of them. He was already madly in love, with the wife he’d lost. So it had just been the two of them, and now, Luke was alone. Alone, in the French Alps, about to make a very horrendous mistake, and quite possibly break his damn neck. A little perfume sniffing was to be expected, he supposed, in the face of all that. Looking at his phone, he wished that he’d taken Rebecca’s number. He could call her, ask her if she was doing okay. If she needed anything maybe. God, I’m pathetic. It was gone four now and the café would be closing soon. He tucked his phone into his sweatpants, and making himself look a little more presentable, he headed downstairs to see Hans, and maybe even buy a piece of Becks’ cake. Rebecca. Damn. He liked the name Becks, it suited her but she seemed to hate it. Rebecca seemed too formal for her. There he was, thinking about her again. Dammit. He needed to get out of here, get some coffee into his addled brain.
The café was busy, people milling around coming in and out, others sat at tables eating, drinking and laughing. There was a real energy in the room, and Luke steeped down into the counter area, closing the door behind him just before Hans barrelled into him, knocking him off his feet and both of them halfway across the opposite counter.
‘Ca-can’t. Brea-the,’ Luke gasped, his torso gripped by what felt like an over-friendly bear, his hips jammed into the countertop as Hans crushed him from above. ‘Gerroff. Daft …’ He managed to take a gasp of air as Hans propped them both up. ‘Pillock!’ The air rushed out of his lungs all at once, and Luke shouted it loud into the space. The bloody high ceilings and echoey room bounced the word back around them, and the whole café was staring at them. It was then that Luke heard a familiar voice.
‘Pillock was just what I was thinking! Hans, put him down, he’s squashing my Chelsea buns!’ Rebecca strode into the room, bags weighing her down, her nose pink from the cold. Looking around her, she plastered on a smile and addressed the room. ‘Anyone need anything?’ It was as friendly as you like, to match her angelic-looking face, but it had an edge to it. She basically gave the whole room a ‘stop it now, or your baby photos are going on social media’ look, as though she was an overworked mother addressing her unruly children. The café-goers all shook their heads politely, the murmur of chatter starting up again. One man raised his hand, but his wife slapped it down and shushed him. The two women nodded at each other appreciatively, and the spell was broken.
Forgotten now, Luke managed to prise Hans’s meaty hooks from around his middle and push him off. Well, push was a strong word. He’d need a strong wind to make a dent. He barely moved him. Squeezing himself out from the gap, he tried to make a run for it, but Hans tripped him up as he moved to give him room, and before he knew it, he was on the floor. After screeching like a parrot and flailing his arms and legs around like a wonky windmill.
‘Hans!’ Rebecca was round the counter in a moment, glaring at any customers who’d dared to laugh. Luke could see her from his position on the floor. He’d twirled like a top before landing on his back. ‘What did you do that for!’
‘I didn’t mean to!’ he protested, bellowing like Brian Blessed. A toddler sitting at one of the tables nearby tried in vain to cover her ears, but her snow suit was so thick she just ended up waggling her hands ineffectually before bursting into tears. Hans groaned.
‘Oh no, not again. How the hell am I going to be a dad? Sorry Luke.’ Hans’s face looked wretched, and Luke tried to think of something to say to help his friend. He didn’t know much about kids though, apart from being one once upon a time. If he’d been a toddler and had seen Hans, he’d have probably filled his nappy too. The man was big, but that wasn’t all he was.
‘Hans,’ Rebecca jumped in, dropping her bags by her feet and coming to kneel by Luke. ‘You are going to be an amazing dad. Your baby will have the best protective parent ever, and that little one is going to love the bones off you. The kid will have its own bodyguard, teacher, and portable climbing frame. Now suck it up, go apologise to the parents, and give them some free cake. Get some practice in. Bribery is basically 85 per cent of parenting anyway from what I hear.’ Hans nodded, smiling now and he headed off to the cake counter. Luke tried to get up, but Rebecca placed her hand on his chest.
‘Don’t move, just for a minute.’ He felt weird, down here with her, on their own. He could hear Hans talking to the parents, laughing with them. Cake solved many problems, it seemed. He could hear the café sounds around him, but it all sounded muffled. Distant.
‘You had a good day?’
A lame question to ask when you were on the floor after being felled by Chewbacca. Rebecca looked down at him and all over his face, and then she started to run her hands through his hair. ‘Not bad. Don’t talk.’ He had to stifle a groan, it felt so nice. He did nothing but stare up at her, and she was looking right at him the whole time. She leaned closer, moving her hands to the back of his head now, his neck. The perfume he knew so well now filling his already jangled senses. Is she going to … to … she is, she’s going to kiss me!
‘Oww!’ She poked a sore spot on the back of his head, where his head had clunked to the floor. ‘That hurt!’
‘Sorry,’ Rebecca muttered, still prodding around his scalp and making him follow her finger. ‘You’re fine.’ She didn’t look sorry at all. In fact, he was pretty sure he saw a smirk. Either that or the tears in his eyes were blurring his vision. He was pretty embarrassed, even in their little bubble. She went to pull him up, but when her hand touched his he closed his fingers around hers.
‘Thanks. I can get up.’ He heaved himself up on the counter with his free hand, and when he stood up, the whole café clapped, and Hans whisper whooped along with them with one fatherly eye on the startled toddler, who was looking at him as if Hagrid had popped in for an americano, and she was the only one to see it. ‘Ah … yes. Thank you, my dear fans. I did enjoy my trip!’ He went with it, bowing, and then his hand was being pulled up the stairs, and the clapping began again behind the closed door.
At the top, Rebecca took him into the lounge and deposited him on the sofa.
‘Wait one minute.’
She headed back down the stairs, leaving him sitting back on the sofa like a lemon. He heard her tell Hans off again at the bottom of the stairs, the unmistakable wallop of a plastic bag hitting a Swedish pillock. Luke chuckled, and waited for his lodge mate to come back up.
*
Laden down with the bags, Rebecca had belatedly realised that her bags actually contained some precious things, so she was pretty miffed with herself. If she’d have remembered, she’d have given Hans a swift kick. She could do that now, bar the odd twinge and occasional night spasm in her back. Three words she randomly remembered many times. Often in the dead of night. Full mobility restored. Like she was fixed, all shiny and new. As if healing came with a memory wipe bonus. Plus, she could have kicked him in the goolies. Holly wasn’t in need of them, it would probably have given her a laugh too. Putting the bags down in the lounge, she went to check on the patient and found him turning on his laptop.
‘Your head okay?’
‘Yeah, fine. Used to it now.’ He rapped his knuckle on the top of his head. ‘It’s pretty tough. He got me worse than that the first night here. He forgets we’re all Borrowers compared to his size.’
She snorted with laughter, shutting the laptop lid. ‘Nice try, but I’ve been felled by Hans before too, he’s basically a toddler in a man’s body.’
‘I know that, when he stayed at mine back home, we always knew he was around. Dad used to hide the good china.’
‘I bet, the breakage rate skyrockets on my days off.’ She pushed the laptop lid shut again when he attempted to open it. ‘Besides, no more work. I have a job for you.’ Heading back over to the bags, she lugged them onto the sofa next to him and gave him her sternest look.
‘Now before I open these bags, I need you to remember that you owe me.’ He put up a hand to protest, but she karate chopped it back down.
‘You owe me, despite the fact that you did replace most things …’ She eyed the sofa with a devastated look. ‘… You do still owe me an apology. So,’ she pulled a small plush orange cuddly dinosaur from one of the nearest bags, ‘this is how you will pay me back.’ The look on his face was worth all the lugging of bags after all. He looked terrified.
*
‘You fancy a cuppa?’
‘Now, that’s the best thing you’ve said all day.’
‘Ah, come on,’ Rebecca teased him. ‘You loved every minute of it.’ Looking at him dishevelled on the floor next to her, covered in glitter and bits of ribbon, she suppressed a smirk. ‘They look great.’
All around him were baby bits, including a rather impressive nappy cake that they had spent half their crafting time putting together. Luke hadn’t even heard of one before, and thought they were about to bake. As if that was all she did. It had irked her at the time, but she was getting less and less shocked with every little weird thing he did and said. She realised, the guy was a brainbox, but he didn’t have a lot of life skills. Bear Grylls would have left him whimpering in the boat, strapped to an inflatable unicorn. It was cute though. And glitter suited him.
‘They do, but the whole experience was definitely a bit weird. Did you have a lot of babies around you, growing up?’
She thought of her childhood. ‘Nope, only child. Baby free. I didn’t even have time for babysitting to be honest.’ She got up to go to the kitchen.
‘Really?’ Following her in, he swerved around her, taking two mugs from the tree and flicking the kettle on. ‘Super nerd, were you? Sat in a corner somewhere, reading comics?’
She popped a tea bag into each mug, him passing the milk to her whilst she reached for the sugar.
‘Two, right?’ she checked, and he nodded. Spooning two spoons in each one, he grabbed the kettle the second it flicked off and poured the water in. ‘And I think you’ll find that you were the comic geek.’ He blushed, and she knew she’d nailed him. It. Nailed it. ‘I was the one who hung out near the gym, for fun.’ Oops.
‘Really …’ he muttered, trying to slowly lift the lid of his laptop again. ‘Any photos?’
Her eyes fell below the coffee table before she could stop them. Her heart was thudding in her chest. She’d had her album out before he’d landed in her life, a night filled with wine and regrets. Fuck. Had he looked? Surely not.
‘No, sadly not. I hate the camera.’
That was true enough. It had never been about that. Not for her. They both watched the tea stewing in the mugs, for lack of anything else to say.
‘So …’
‘Anyway?’
They both laughed nervously, their awkwardness made palpable by them removing their tea bags and adding milk in annoying synchronicity.
‘What I was—’
‘What I meant was—’
‘Got any plans for tonight?’ he blurted out, dropping his tea bag into the bin as he asked, missing it entirely. They both watched it slowly slide down the side of the bin, leaving a little tea puddle on the floor, and a path down from lid to bottom where the tea had dripped. He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. ‘I meant to do that. Pa Borrower uses them to fertilise his allotment.’ She was about to call him a plonker, when he put his hand over hers.
‘What I was trying to say, was that I would really like to get out of this flat for a bit, I was thinking we could go out to eat? I’ve not had a look around yet. My treat, to say thanks and sorry yet again. To you and your poor bins. Do you have plans?’
She didn’t, and if he’d seen her work calendar downstairs, he knew it too.
‘No, but you don’t have to do that. You already made it up to me.’
‘I know, but you’ve got to eat anyway, right? What were you going to do?’
She looked at him blankly. She had nothing. A family-sized bar of chocolate and a romance book in bed wasn’t exactly comparable to going out with a cute guy, to have a free meal. She’d only have to fend her mother off anyway. She’d rung once whilst she was out shopping, but Rebecca ignoring the call wouldn’t put her off.
‘Nothing really, bit of paperwork.’ Nice save, Rebecca. Cupcake empire boss vibes. Not reading about a hot vet whilst ignoring the competition entry forms that were now stashed in her bedside drawer, taunting her silently. You won’t enter, and Mum won’t listen. ‘Food out sounds nice actually. Dutch, of course.’
Luke rolled his eyes, taking a deep slurp of his tea. ‘Fab, pick you up at seven, then. You need a hand with the lounge stuff?’ He’d already tidied up, there were only the packages ready for Saturday stacked up. They could wait.
‘Pick me up?’ She shook her head at his offer of help. She didn’t want to cram them all into her room, they could stay there for now. She could get Hans to collect them before the big day, keep them stashed. ‘Where did you have in mind?’
‘There’s a great place on resort apparently. Hans was telling some of the customers about it, have you been? Top notch, he reckons.’
Rebecca was already making a face. She knew exactly where he meant. She’d been there before, many times. Being schmoozed and celebrated. ‘I have a place, a better one. Trust me.’
Luke frowned, but he didn’t argue.
‘Well, that’s decided then. See you at seven?’ He looked at her for confirmation, and she realised that she was nervous. Her stomach flipped at the thought of going out with him. This isn’t good Rebecca, come on. He’s leaving soon. You have to get your life together. Crushing on a passing hot nerd is not part of the plan. Besides, he annoys you, remember?
‘See you then,’ she said and he left to go to his room. Minutes later, she heard the bathroom door close, and the shower turn on. He was getting ready. Looking at the bags she had left to unpack, she picked them up and headed to her own room. Holly was right, she couldn’t answer the question about whether or not she liked Luke. Not to Holly, but now she couldn’t really deny it to herself any longer. He hadn’t been here a week, it had been what, three days? She was already interested in what he had to say and why he was here, and she knew it went deeper than just wanting to get the clumsy northerner out of her home, and out of her life. He was growing on her. It’s not every man that would sit making up games and favour bags for a baby shower. The fact that he didn’t know what a nappy cake was had made her laugh, but before long his technical brain had kicked in and he was designing structure ideas and colour schemes from what she had brought. The man was like a wedding planner, but looked like a GQ model. She’d had so much fun, till she’d realised that unlike everything else in her regimented sheltered life, it was temporary. He would do what he came to do, and leave. Just like everyone else around here. They came to visit and went home. She should be used to it, but right now she couldn’t help feeling just a little sense of panic. Closing her bedroom door behind her, she pulled out the outfits she’d splurged on in town. There was a nice little clothing boutique there that didn’t treat her any differently than they did when she shopped there before … well, just before. They always made her feel welcome. Comfortable. She could try things on there without getting a complex about flashing a scar, or catching someone spotting one of her flaws. She felt like enough of those were on show already.
‘Not seen you for a while Rebecca! How’s the café?’
Francesca, the owner, had just been seeing a customer out as Rebecca had entered the shop, the tinkle of the bell making her feel instantly at home. It was like a front room, rather than a clothing shop. A sewing machine sat off to one corner, storage boxes full of ribbons, zips, and tiny pearl buttons.
‘Not bad,’ she said as the customer smiled and left, bags in hand. They were alone. ‘Except for my houseguest.’
Fran’s eyes bulged, and her smirk was positively devilish. ‘I heard. Luke, isn’t it? How’s that going? You beaten him to death with a hand mixer yet?’ Her French accent curled her words beautifully. Even hand mixer sounded sexy when it rolled off her tongue. She was effortlessly chic, but not aware of it at all. She could turn heads as she entered a room, but she would be more interested in checking out the quality of the fabric in the curtains, and how a seam on a dress didn’t look right from across the room. Confident in her own skin, like most people were. Even Luke. He knew who he was, but he still wanted to push himself. That was the thing Rebecca missed. The impetus to try again, to care about getting a different outcome.
‘Not quite. He’s … interesting.’
‘Interesting? Explain. Oh, and I have a nice little outfit for you in the back. I’ve been saving it for when you came.’ She toddled off, raising a hand behind her at Rebecca. ‘Don’t worry either, it’s not from a designer. It’s off the rail. My rail, actually. I have a couple that would look great on you.’
‘How did you know I wanted some new clothes?’
Francesca turned around on one heel, like a ballet dancer, and eyed her up close. Rebecca came to a screeching halt, colliding boob to boob with Fran, who didn’t flinch. ‘You came to me. I’ve seen him, you know, Holly showed me his photo. It didn’t take a genius to work out that your horrible sweatpants were suddenly going to be an issue.’
‘Hey! I don’t always dress like that.’ She totally did. ‘I don’t all the time, anyway.’
‘No,’ Fran countered. ‘The rest of the time you’re in your uniform. I’m right, yes?’
‘No.’
‘Nightwear doesn’t count, Rebecca.’
‘Oh. Yes then.’ She followed her friend over to the rail of clothes, running her hand along the rainbow of different textures and fabrics. ‘You don’t have to give me a lecture you know. I get it.’
Fran pulled out a long dress from the rail. It was a dark blue colour, but the fabric shimmered in the light. ‘This one’s for a night out, and I thought this one for Saturday.’
Reaching further along the rail, she held out another dress. This one was cream, neat little blue flowers embroidered along the hems. It looked lovely, fresh and perfect for the shower. She didn’t even need to check the sizing. Fran had a hawk-eye for these things.
‘You going, on Saturday?’
Fran nodded, taking out another outfit from the very back.
‘Yep, here’s mine.’ It was a lot brighter than the one she’d offered Rebecca, pastel colours giving way to vibrant tropical colours. The female equivalent of a Hawaiian shirt. ‘I must say, I am looking forward to meeting this Luke.’
Rebecca blushed, taking the outfits from Fran and heading to the changing rooms to see how they looked. Fran would insist on it anyway, she never let anything leave her shop that looked and felt anything less than perfect. Rebecca thought about her baking and could relate.
‘He’s okay.’ Pulling the curtain shut behind her, she put the hangers on the peg in front of her and sat down for a second on the upholstered chair that sat in one corner of the changing room. Opposite, the full-length mirror looked back at her. She looked at the outfits on the rails, and back at herself. The dress had a little thigh split in the material, that gave it a sexier look. She’d not worn anything like that in such a long time. She wouldn’t have thought twice about it before, but now, it was all that she could think about. Once more, Rebecca realised that the life she had was gone forever, and looking back at herself, she brushed back the tears. Standing up, she tried the outfits on facing the wall. She never looked behind her or turned around. By the time she left the changing room, outfits in hand, she was perfectly shut down once more.
*
Open-mouthed in the mirror, looking like a fish gasping for air, Rebecca ran the wand up her lashes, almost poking herself straight in the retina when there was a loud knock at the door.
‘Luke, can you get that please? I’m just putting my shoes on.’ She pushed her feet into her favourite heels and grabbed her bag. The knock came again, but no Luke.
‘Luke, you here?’ She looked into the lounge but it was empty. His room door was closed. ‘Luke?’
She headed to the door to the café downstairs, wrapping her long coat around her tightly and pulling the handle down as she threw her handbag strap over one shoulder. Luke was standing at the other side, flowers in hand.
‘Hi.’
‘Hi,’ she replied, looking from the flowers to him. He looked gorgeous. His glasses were off, his hair freshly washed and shiny. She could smell him, recognising the scent she’d been enveloped in using the bathroom after him. Soap, and his cologne. He hadn’t even touched her shampoo. ‘You really meant pick me up, didn’t you?’
He grinned. ‘Yep, all out tonight. I wasn’t sure how we were going to get there, so I ordered a cab to be safe. Okay?’
She nodded dumbly. ‘It’s the west-facing slopes we’re heading to. Not far. Nice flowers.’ They locked eyes for a moment, and her mouth went dry. He looked so good, so confident now.
‘Oh yes, sorry! These are for you,’ he said, offering them to her. ‘I hope you like them.’ They were beautiful, wrapped with ribbon and full of colour. As she leaned to get them, their fingers brushed each other’s and the jolt that ran through her confirmed what she already suspected. She was starting to fancy the pants off her dorky clumsy houseguest, and she was going to be spending a whole evening with him, on what looked like a very date-like non-date. ‘I just wanted to say thanks, for everything you’ve put up with. I’m happy to have met you Rebecca, I mean that.’ As he spoke, the two of them slowly gravitated closer. Had her hands not been full of flowers, she was pretty sure she would have snogged the lips off him. The butterflies in her stomach had changed into huge bats now, all jumping and flapping their wings off at the thought of her lips touching his. ‘I am happy to have been able to get to know you.’
‘Me too.’
His eyebrows raised, and he moved closer, pushing the flowers tighter to her own chest, and his.
‘Really? Redeemed myself a bit, have I?’ She felt too drunk on his proximity to answer him clearly. It was like they were in a little bubble. ‘I’m glad. Actually I—’
The toot of a horn broke the silence, and she turned to put the flowers in some water.
‘Cab’s here,’ she said unnecessarily. When she returned to the stairs, she could hear him outside talking to the driver. Smoothing her coat down around her, making sure she was covered, she headed down the stairs. Once more, he’d been cut off from what he wanted to say. It was getting harder to act like she didn’t care about what his back story was, why he was really here.
*
Pulling up at the restaurant, they could hear the people outside, sitting in the outdoor heated seating area, which ran around one side of the restaurant, drinking, eating and laughing. The neon sign lit up the place from above and cast rainbows across the snow around them. She opened the cab door, stepping out and drinking in the great outdoors. Rebecca would normally be holed up in her place right now, tinkering around by herself. She’d missed the adult life. She’d been living like a hermit a bit too long.
‘Nice place,’ Luke said behind her, pushing his wallet back into his pocket. The cab drove away.
‘How much for my half?’ She went for her purse, but he took her hand movement as something else and pushed his hand into hers. Linking his fingers over hers, he put his hand down, pulling hers down with it, her body moving closer till her arm brushed his.
‘Tonight is on me, no arguments.’ He smiled, lifting his hand to drop a kiss on the back of hers. The scratch of his bristle on her skin made her whole body fizz into life. ‘Let’s go get a drink.’
They got a table pretty quickly. Mina behind the reservation desk smiled and waved them through. Rebecca smiled back, laughing when Mina made a ‘who’s the guy?’ face at her. It felt good to be seen out for a change – have a little banter with people she’d once spent a lot of time around. Mina had been on the circuit too, they’d bonded pretty quickly. She was one of the few people who didn’t bring Rebecca out in a cold sweat to socialise with. Not that she’d done much of that lately. As Mina seated them, Rebecca grabbed her hand. Mina drew her closer and wrapped her arms around her.
‘Sorry it’s been a while,’ she murmured, not looking at Luke. She could see in her peripheral that he was looking at the menu. ‘I’ve … no excuse.’
Mina squeezed her hand, pulling away and pecking her on the cheek like she always did.
‘Er yeah, you do. Nothing to be sorry for. You’re here now, with …?’
She turned her head to Luke, who put down the menu he was holding.
‘Luke Sommersby.’ He leaned forward, his dark blue shirt cuff brushing the table as he stood to offer her his hand.
She took it, beaming at him. ‘Pleased to meet you Luke, Mina Huang.’
His hand flopped a little, Mina having to lift hers to avoid them clanging to the table. His face paled.
‘Good God. You’re not, are you?’ He looked at her as though she were a microbe under a microscope. ‘You are! Pleased to meet you!’ He grabbed her hand tighter now, shaking it vigorously. ‘My dad loves you, you know.’ He turned to look at Rebecca like an excited meerkat. ‘Oh …’ He seemed to remember where they were, and Rebecca waited for it. Mina gave her a sneaky side look and she couldn’t help but smirk. ‘Sorry. Do forgive me. I do forget my manners sometimes.’
He’d gone all Jane Austen now, brushing up on his etiquette. Rebecca wondered what he would look like in a wet white shirt. Having just jumped into the lake on his grounds to cool his hotness off. Well, more like fell off a horse straight into it. It was Luke, after all. He looked handsome tonight though too. He’d got himself some boots and a decent coat. His black trousers showed off his muscular legs, and the shirt was open at the collar. She could see a peek of chest.
‘Don’t be silly! I love your dad too, just for that!’ Mina put a hand around each of them and hugged them both to her. Rebecca looked across at Luke, and he was looking back at her. The place was lively, people having fun, but he only seemed to notice her. ‘Lovely to see you guys!’ Mina released them both in front of a table, and whirled off, muttering about letting them have time to look at the menus. They were both still standing melded to each other. Luke recovered first, wrapping one arm around her back and guiding her to her chair. He pulled it back for her, and she realised that she was still wearing her coat. Luke had put his on the back of his chair. Swallowing hard, she unbuttoned it.
She felt his hands take her coat from her, and she took her seat. His fingers brushed her shoulder as he pushed her coat onto the back of the chair she was clinging to. He was at his seat then, and once more she had to wrench herself out of the bubble and into real life.
‘You look gorgeous,’ he said, and the bubble was back.
They ordered burgers, huge doorstops of coloured buns encasing beef and cheese. The place was well known for it, and the locals were loyal to the place. It wasn’t that the tourists didn’t love it, half the time it was a struggle trying to get a seat. It was just relaxed, the kind of place families loved in the daytime and the perfect spot for friends to talk and hang out in the evening … and eat. They did a lot of both. Sides of fried pickles and tiny chicken sliders, French fries loaded with salt and vinegar. Luke ordered a pitcher of lager, and he raised his glass to her.
‘To an accident-free evening.’
‘Ha!’ She clinked her glass against his, laughing. ‘It’s not over yet.’
‘True,’ he said ruefully. ‘So far so good though. Not bad for a first date either. This food is amazing.’
Rebecca choked on her pickle. ‘Date?’
He passed her a napkin, and she took it to cover her mouth.
‘Yeah, well. To practise for Saturday.’ Oh, great. I’m a pity plus one. Nice. ‘So, yes actually, a date.’ He waggled his eyebrows at her, and she almost keeled over as butterflies fluttered away in her stomach, followed by a side of nausea as she brushed away what those butterflies might mean.
‘I am glad I have someone to carry all that stuff with me,’ she deflected. ‘A date is a small price to pay for some muscle.’ He flexed his arms at her, accidentally sticking the French fry he was holding straight into the ear of a diner at the other table. ‘Oh! Sorry mate!’ He patted the bloke on the shoulder, and the diner waved him off, seeing the funny side. Next to him, his girlfriend was in hysterics, trying not to spray burger everywhere. Luke looked across at Rebecca, who was trying not to laugh herself. ‘What is wrong with me?’ he said, aghast. He was genuinely asking, and Rebecca reached for his hand. She could feel her stomach and shoulders tense up with the pressure of not laughing in his face.
‘It’s fine,’ she said, stroking the back of his hand with her fingers. ‘They laughed. Just maybe keep the guns away in enclosed spaces.’ She flexed her own arm muscle at him, gurning. As she made eye contact with the girlfriend of the chip ear guy, the two women grinned at each other. A shared moment, laughing at their dates. It felt nice. Normal.
‘You’re a bit of a nutter when you relax, aren’t you?’ He was stroking his thumb along hers now, eating fries between sentences. ‘I bet you’ve seen some things up here, too.’ She had, there was no denying that. She’d also seen and been through some things she wished dearly she hadn’t but that was life. It laughed at your plans and threw a stick into the spokes of your passing bike, whilst you were riding off into the sunset, thinking your dreams were about to be achieved. Life was a little shit sometimes.
‘I sure have. Some sights to see around here, shame I’ll never tell you. You glad you came?’
She let go of him reluctantly to finish her food, and his hand flexed when her touch left his. He left it there a moment, before picking up a piece of burger.
‘Well, this burger alone was worth the terrifying plane ride. And freezing my arse off all the way here. Yeah, it’s been good. Different. I think I needed to do it. Tomorrow Hans is going to teach me how to ski.’
‘Oh?’ She acted nonchalant, eating as demurely as she could with her hands, trying not to panic at the thought of Luke being scraped off the side of a mountain with a cat litter pooper scooper size of a shovel. He’d almost taken out a bloke with a chip, so what hope did he have of surviving unscathed, especially with Hans as a teacher? The man could ski, but he was mountain-sized himself. When Game of Thrones had come out, people had started asking if he was one of the characters. He’d liked it at first, but it had soon worn thin. He looked like a giant on toothpicks on a pair of skis, and if he fell, which was rare, he bounced – and took a chunk out of whatever had broken his fall, be it snow, wood, or rock. If Luke fell, he would shatter like an ornamental glass unicorn. She shuddered at the thought, and he reached for her hand once more.
‘You cold?’ he asked, every inch the concerned date. It made her heart swell. ‘My coat’s pretty good. I am reluctant for you to cover up though, you do look nice.’ Even with the lighting, she could see his cheeks redden. She leaned forward, squeezing his hand and pushing herself to be bold enough to hold his eye.
‘You don’t look so bad yourself. I think this is the best date I’ve ever had.’
‘Wow! That was brutal timing, as always. Must be our thing.’ A deep voice startled them both. ‘You always did know how to get to me. I do beg to differ though. That night on Whistler Mountain was pretty epic, I thought. And it involved a lot less clothing. And people. Hi, Becks.’
Standing by the table, pushing into their bubble of ignorance, was Robbie Goulding. Best date ever, Rebecca. You said it. You jinxed it.
‘Canada, eh? Nice,’ Luke drawled, his voice neutral. ‘We shall have to add it to the list, honey.’ He didn’t pull his hand away from hers, and she felt his grip tighten a little. He looked Robbie up and down, and Rebecca couldn’t do anything but look at Luke. Her throat had completely closed up. She couldn’t speak if she wanted to. It felt like seeing him had frozen her whole body. All she could feel was the fast thud of her heart in her ears, her face aflame, and Luke’s gentle and comforting touch. He was circling his thumb around her palm, and it was the only thing keeping her in her seat.
‘I’m Luke, pleased to meet you.’ He didn’t move to shake Robbie’s hand, and he didn’t even look at him. He kept moving his thumb, and his gaze was now set on Rebecca. Robbie’s smile dimmed, standing there in his designer clothes and gelled hair. The man didn’t know what to do. From the corner of her eye, she saw his feet start to shuffle.
‘Er, yeah,’ Robbie muttered, visibly trying to gather himself, and Rebecca finally allowed herself to look at him properly. He looked good, but it did nothing for her now. He looked the same as before, and she knew he was still the same man underneath. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here. You dating him now?’
‘Evidently,’ Luke said in a bored tone. ‘That was the plan. And you are?’
Robbie didn’t look at him, but his jaw flexed. He was staring at Rebecca now, his brows knitted together, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides.
‘This is Robbie. Goulding.’ Rebecca found her voice, finally. ‘Luke is my date, yes. And don’t call me Becks.’
Robbie’s lip curled at her words. ‘Why not? It’s how you’re known isn’t it?’
‘No. Not anymore,’ she spat. ‘Robbie, it’s nice to see you, but we are trying to—’
‘Not anymore, eh? That apply to everything still? I thought no more dating was your thing.’ He made a loud gameshow noise. ‘Nuh-nuh, survey said? Incorrect. Lukey boy here is giving me the evil eye. Are you entering the Alpine Challenge? Is that why you’re back?’
Luke was looking at Robbie now like he wanted to kill him. It made Rebecca feel oddly protected. Like he had her back. He’d come across all manly from the moment Robbie had rocked up. Rebecca thought he might pee around the table in a minute, mark his territory. That would make people look.
‘Becks?’ Robbie pressed her again. Same old bullish Robbie, she noticed. No patience. The people around them were already starting to take notice of the tension at their table. Robbie tended to do that wherever he went. She had forgotten what all that attention felt like, and now she had a reminder, she hated it even more.
‘Back?’ Luke echoed, all caught up and annoyed now. He squeezed her hand and stood up, facing Robbie. Robbie grinned at him, his best fake grin, and Luke’s eyes flashed.
‘Lovely to meet you, Robert, but—’
‘Robbie.’
‘Bobby, right.’ He took a half step forward, so his chest brushed against Robbie’s. ‘Well, Nobby, it’s nice to meet you, but we are on a date, and I’m sure that you have people waiting on you.’ He nodded his head behind them towards the bar, and Rebecca could see some of his old crew, along with a tall, black-haired woman wearing a short white dress who was looking at Rebecca as though she knew exactly who she was to her man. Rebecca stared right back till the other woman looked away. You can keep him love. I have no designs on the bloke. Mina walked past, and Rebecca caught the look of horror on her face when she clocked Robbie at their table. She started coming over, making her way through the tables as discreetly as she could.
‘Luke …’ Rebecca went to stand up from the table, and Luke automatically reached for her hand. Moving to her side, he pushed Robbie out of the way with his arm as he passed. Robbie went to grab his shoulder, and Luke grabbed him by the wrist. ‘Luke, please. Let’s go. Mina’s coming.’
Luke was too busy glaring at her ex-fiancé to hear her, but he still kept his grip on both of them. He was eyeball to eyeball with Robbie now, their chests butting up against each other like men did before a fight.
She found Luke’s ear and whispered, ‘Luke, come on. You do know you’re not actually Clark Kent, don’t you? What are you trying to do, laser beam him with your eyes?’
‘Eh?’ Luke asked, his head moving in her direction slightly before returning to glare at Robbie again. ‘Clark Kent,’ Robbie laughed. ‘As if.’
‘Shurrup,’ Luke growled. ‘I don’t need lasers for pretty boys like you.’
‘Luke,’ she whispered again, trying to move them. ‘Mina!’
She didn’t want to cause a scene and get her friend into trouble.
Mina arrived, and she did not look happy. ‘Robbie, knock it off. Go back to your pathetic snow groupies.’ Too late, she was standing at the other side of Robbie now. ‘You okay, Rebecca?’
Robbie was looking around him as if he was the butt of some big joke.
‘The Great Becks Atkins, nothing to say? Mina, what the hell’s going on?’ He bent his head around Luke, looking right at Rebecca now with a confused look on his face. ‘When did you come back?’
He was talking to Rebecca again now, peppering her with questions, and she was trying to take out money from her purse to pay for the food. Luke took her bag, closing it and tucking it under the arm holding hers.
‘Becks!’ Robbie was shouting now, and the diners closest to them had heard him over the soft music and relaxed chatter. She could see people starting to look, putting things together. She felt hot, her hand clammy in Luke’s. She went to pull away, but Luke pulled her closer, pushing some notes into Mina’s hand. ‘Sorry Mina, we’ll be leaving now. It was nice to have met you.’ He glared at Robbie, who whooped like a schoolgirl at him.
‘Ooooo, you getting mad, are you? Big man, eh? Come on then, let’s share Becks stories eh? Can’t top Canada, can he Becks?’
Mina was trying to push him out of the back now, Robbie’s own security posse standing close by. The guy needed his own security team because he was such a colossal dick. They looked positively fed up, and Rebecca smiled at them apologetically. Lester, Robbie’s head security guy, gave her a wink and rolled his eyes. He mouthed ‘you look great’ at her, and she loved her old friend for it. Lester stepped forward then, his thickset arm easily wrapping around Robbie’s waist as he reached where they were all standing.
‘Pleasure to see you Rebecca,’ he said just low enough to be heard, ‘Luke, take care of my friend. Robbie, time to go. Team, extraction in 3. Next location.’ The next bar, it meant. Somewhere else for Robbie to make his presence felt. She’d spent enough time in their company to know all their little codes.
The people around him started to shift, moving Robbie and his party back away towards the bar, and the side exit. Robbie was having none of it.
‘Come on Becks, what the hell? You got nothing to say to me, eh? You just going to leave me here, standing like a fool?’ He was taunting her now, she could feel it and Luke was reading her face, his own getting darker by the minute. He faced her now and made her look at him. He nudged her chin with her finger till she looked at him. He squeezed her hand again.
‘You okay?’
Robbie was yelling behind him, Lester telling him to knock it off and Mina telling him to bugger off in her mother tongue. Rebecca knew that Mina knew all the worst curse words too. She was furious, the whole night was ruined. ‘Just ignore him. I take it you dated?’
‘Dated! Ha!’ Robbie, bat-eared and wrapped in a bear hug by Lester, was flailing his arms around everywhere. The diners had mostly chosen to ignore him now, though a couple had pulled their phones out. This was bad. Damn the inventor of the smart phone. Nowadays you couldn’t have a poo without someone making you into a viral internet star. ‘We were more than that, we were partners. Right, Becks? Or is it Ice Rebel? You tell Luke about any of that, eh? About Canada? When I proposed?’ The whole room gasped, and the phones were all out now. She felt like Harry Styles in a concert hall, mobbed and filmed from every angle.
She closed her eyes tight when he said those words. She didn’t need to look at Luke to know that he’d heard every little detail. Her name, and all the gory secrets she’d tried to hide for five years. Her truly spectacular fall from the top of her sport, and with a messy and very public break-up to boot. Luke had frozen still, his hands still in place. She felt a tear drop down her cheek and into his hand, before his shirt blotted it into the fabric. He started to walk, tucking her into his side as he parted the crowd before him like a messiah. Rebecca kept her eyes to the floor, willing herself not to break down till they got to the front doors. Mina was telling Lester to get Robbie out, that he was barred, but Robbie didn’t care. He was loving every minute.
‘That’s it Becks, run away! It’s what you do, right? We’ll be seeing each other, don’t worry. We have a lot of catching up to do. Enjoy the rest of your whatever that is.’
Luke was there one minute, and gone the next. He turned, growling his head off like a baby tiger, and ran at Robbie with a booming war cry that would make Mel Gibson look like David Brent.
Mina took a step back, Luke swerving around every person effortlessly. Wow, thought Rebeca. When he was mad, he was so sure of himself. If he’d have run like that normally, he would have ploughed through them like bowling pins. Lester, still holding Robbie, shrugged at Rebecca, who was looking at him in horror, and dropped him back onto his feet. He tried to back into Lester, but Lester just laughed.
‘Sorry boss, breaktime.’ He took a step back, motioning for his guys to retreat to the bar. ‘Play nice.’
Luke felled Robbie half a second later, flying through the air and slamming him to the floor in a rugby tackle. Robbie grunted as the air was knocked out of him. Mina disappeared and Rebecca ran over to them both; they were now rolling around on the floor. Lester, now drinking a virgin cocktail with the others, was telling Robbie’s girl to stay put, whilst she shook her fake nails at him and gestured wildly.
‘Luke, get up!’ She tried to reach him, smacking him on the bottom as it bobbed past her.
‘Hey, don’t spank me!’ he shouted as he rolled, pinning Robbie to the floor. His knee was digging into Robbie’s chest, and Robbie was spluttering, trying to bitch slap Luke, who kept deflecting the blows. He straddled Robbie, one knee right near his crown jewels.
‘Say sorry to Rebecca,’ he commanded, and Rebecca tried to pull him off. He didn’t budge, a button popping off his shirt as he twisted gently away from her. ‘Step back Rebecca, I don’t want you to get hurt.’ He got a slap right across his chops from Robbie, who had seized the opportunity. ‘Hey!’
He grabbed at Robbie’s hands, and Robbie was stuck. All he could do was wiggle on the floor like a worm, whilst Luke kept slapping him with his own hands.
‘What you hitting yourself for, eh?’ Slap. Robbie’s face was as red as a tomato, and he was shouting for Lester. Some of the guests were laughing into their napkins. A couple of people shouted, ‘Yeah, hit him again!’ and ‘About time someone slapped that guy.’ Lester was chuckling too, she could see his shoulders jiggle up and down through his tight black T-shirt. Rebecca ran over to him.
‘Lester, come on! Stop this, please!’ Lester rolled his eyes and nodded.
‘Okay, but that was fun. You have to admit it.’ He gestured to the rabble on the floor, Robbie trying to buck Luke off, who was now open-shirted and laughing as he made Robbie move like a marionette.
Lester strode over and put out a hand to Luke. Luke passed Robbie’s hand to Lester, and Lester half carried, half lifted him to his feet.
‘Show’s over folks, don’t drink and drive. Have a good night.’ A man at the table nearest to him flinched as Lester plucked the phone from his outreached arm and put it in his back pocket. ‘Call the office,’ Lester said to the dumbstruck man, who just nodded. One of Lester’s team was going round the room, giving people holding phones a knowing look. He gave the man a business card.
Lester lifted Robbie into his arms like a father would a weeping baby. ‘And if anything goes online, in any form, Robbie’s lawyers, and we, will know about it.’ The lads behind him, all huge and quite fearsome-looking when they turned it on, nodded to the crowd. Lester winked at Rebecca, and she lifted her shaking hand to say goodbye. Luke was off the floor now, picking up the chairs that Robbie had kicked over and apologising to the diners. He passed her handbag back to her, his face unreadable as he looked her over.
‘We need to go.’ He placed her coat around her shoulders, throwing his own on and taking her hand to walk her out. No one said anything else, and she felt the atmosphere change as they reached the doors. A second later, they were outside, heading away from the heated area and down the street. They walked till they were out of sight of the place, away from Robbie who would no doubt still be close by. Probably chewing out Lester for making him deal with his own stuff for once. He should do that more often, the look on Robbie’s face was almost worth it. Almost. He wouldn’t leave it though. They’d had the perfect life, but then she’d crashed out in the competition, and changed overnight. He never got that, never.
She let go of Luke’s hand, and started to head to the taxi rank. She could hear him chuntering to himself as she put her arms through her coat.
‘My shirt’s shot to shit now,’ he muttered, pulling each side apart and exposing his chest as she turned to look at him. He looked so hot, she couldn’t help but stop and turn to face him. She didn’t feel the cold anymore, but she was still shaking. ‘I’m so sorry, I never do that, or act like that.’ He bit his lip, striding over to her. She didn’t move till he was standing right in front of her. He was close enough to touch now, and she could see that his chest was heaving. He was pumped up from the fight. She felt it too.
‘Thank you—’
‘I wish I’d knocked him out as soon as he—’
They laughed, their icy breath mingling together in the night air. There was no one around, the businesses here all closed for the night, the houses all lit up. The windows cast glowing shadows over everything.
‘I’m sorry I went for him.’
‘I know you aren’t though.’
‘No, I’m not. Sorry for that too. Again. I ruined our date. If you don’t want me to come on Saturday, I can stay away.’
She was shaking her head at him.
‘Oh God, you don’t want me to come, do you? I was bluffing then.’
Rebecca laughed, and took a deep shuddering breath inwards.
‘Robbie was my fiancé, for a day or two at least. My boyfriend and ski partner before that. We did go to Canada, but then something happened to me, and I didn’t handle it very well.’ She thought back to lying in that hospital bed, Robbie bouncing around her room, talking about exclusive interviews, and marriage sponsorship deals. ‘Neither did he. I changed. He changed too, I guess.’ Or I just saw more of his flaws, when my own were exposed. ‘He didn’t like my choices. He’s angry with me.’
‘He’s a jerk.’ Luke frowned when he noticed her shaking. He pulled her coat tighter around her and rubbed her arms with his own. His coat was a black puffed parka, lined with a faux fur hood that made his bristle look darker against his skin. It made his eyes sparkle. I’m in shock. This isn’t a fairytale. He’s not a prince, come to bloody save me. ‘Let’s go get warm.’
‘I’m fine. I need to get this out.’ She wanted him to know. She needed him to. ‘I was Ice Rebel, for a long time.’
Luke’s head dropped. ‘I know.’
Her shields came clanging up, the screech of welded metal ringing in her ears.
‘You know?’
‘Well, I didn’t, till him.’ Venom dripped from the last word. ‘My dad’s a bit of a sports nut. It’s how the student exchange thing came about. My mother was an ice skater, semi-professional. He loved ice sports. Loves. I thought I recognised you.’
She gave him a sad smile. ‘I know you did. It freaked me out. Not many people know I’m here. I wanted to keep it that way.’ Want to. Period.
‘Why is he angry, because you broke off the engagement?’
‘Yes and no. The wedding was a bit of a money spinner, back then. We had our own sponsors. Till the accident.’
Luke didn’t break eye contact, he moved closer. She could feel his bare chest through her coat, pressed against the fabric. ‘Money and fame, eh? I thought as much.’ He looked angry again, his eyes turning dark. She reached out and put her arms around his waist. His face softened, the response immediate. She could feel her heart pick up once more. ‘I’ve got to be honest, I can’t really see you two. He’s all show, you never did the showbiz thing, did you?’
He’d paid more attention to her career than she’d thought.
‘No, it was about the sport for me. The snow was what mattered.’
‘Well, you are better off without him then. Obviously. If he comes to the café, I am going to spark him straight out.’ She laughed at his words, which reminded her of home.
‘He doesn’t know I live here. He thinks I just flew in. I could tell. He doesn’t know I work at the café. My friends are loyal. Hans never liked him.’ That was the understatement of the year. When she’d come out of hospital, sponsors already onto the next hot thing, Robbie off on his tour as usual, Hans had scooped her up and given her a new life. If Hans ever saw Robbie again, it wouldn’t go well. She didn’t want that. ‘We can’t tell Hans about this.’ Mina would no doubt tell him or Holly as soon as she got a chance, but it wouldn’t come from her. She didn’t want to cause them any stress. They were in their own bubble, a baby bubble and given that Robbie was a massive prick, it didn’t take a genius to work out it wouldn’t be a good day for anyone. Once upon a time, he would have been an uncle to their baby. Amazing how ludicrous things looked in the rear view of your life choices.
‘It won’t come from me. I would never do that to you, Rebecca. I couldn’t. I just want you to be okay.’
His face was lit up by the backdrop of the snow, and Rebecca took a moment to process just what had happened.
‘You really went for him. Are you okay?’
She looked down at his shirt, their close quarters causing her forehead to brush down his face. He kissed it, the low rumble in his chest making her breath catch. ‘I’m fine, as long as you are.’ He moved his lips down to her cheek, kissing her once there, before slowly pulling back, and going in for the other cheek. His stubble brushed against her skin, and she tugged him closer, turning her mouth to meet his. He picked her up off the floor, walking them both backwards till they reached a shop doorway. He turned her to face the doors, pressing her gently against them with his body, deepening the kiss. She was clawing at his back, trying to get a better grip on him, and he huffed, leaning away a little.
‘I can’t do this.’
His breath came out in hot little mists into the cold air. Her libido went ‘wait, what?’ as he took her hand and pulled her back onto the street. She went on wobbly legs, her lips still feeling on fire from his delicious mouth. ‘We need to get a cab home. Now.’ He turned to her, and the look she saw in his eyes had her walking that bit faster. They walked to the nearest taxi rank, standing in a thankfully tiny queue silently, their thumbs rubbing each other’s hands. The cab pulled up, Luke sweeping open the door and giving the driver the Fir Tree Lodge address whilst sitting her close to him in the spacious back seat. There was a glass partition between them, and the driver was listening to folk music, humming away to himself. Rebecca’s phone rang in her bag, and she reached for it with her free hand. Looking at the screen, she saw Mina’s name flash up on the screen. She showed it to Luke. ‘Mina.’
Luke nodded, his hand still in hers, and turned to look out of the window. She felt his grip tighten, just a fraction, and she gave it a squeeze.
‘Hello Mina, I’m sorry about that. Did Lester get him out? Are you mad?’
‘Is Mina mad?’ Robbie’s cold tones came out of the phone like icy fingers, making her ear prickle. Her grip tightened around Luke’s hand, hard and fast. Luke turned to the phone and jabbed at the speakerphone button. ‘What about me, eh? What about that? You can’t even say anything, can you? It’s path—’
Luke’s jaw clenched, and he took the phone out of her hands.
‘Listen to me, you lycra-wearing little shit stick. Listen carefully, if you have any actual brain matter in that massive head of yours. You don’t know who I am, but I sure know who you are. I have a very special set of IT skills, the very best. If you don’t leave Rebecca alone, or if you harm her in any way, I will use my special set of skills to end your internet life as you know it. You think you get attention now, wait till I am finished with you. You’ll have no need to worry about everyone knowing just who and what you are, because I will show them. Amazing what a bit of Photoshop and an internet connection can do, Dobbie. I will end your little following, and then I will track you down, and smack seven bells of shit out of you. Do you understand?’
Rebecca didn’t give Robbie time to stop spluttering, taking the phone she ended the call. The night fell silent once more, the driver humming along to his tunes, muffled by the screen.
‘I’m not going to say sorry,’ Luke started, and she took the phone from him, turning it off and shoving it back into the bag by her side.
‘I don’t want you to.’
‘Good, cos I’m not.’
They both looked out of their windows, hands on their laps. The music changed to Elton, singing about a rocket. The driver stopped humming and started bobbing his head like a nodding dog. Everyone was an Elton fan. Her mother loved him. Did she know Robbie was here? Were they still in touch? Another reason she knew Robbie was playing the part of the wounded duck. If he really wanted to find her, he would have contacted her mother. And her mother would never have been such a pain in the behind all this time. She was 100 per cent team Robbie. He’d bailed on her in her time of need, and she knew it as well as Rebecca did. Typical mother, choosing to only see what she wanted to see.
‘I’m really not you, know.’ Luke broke the silence. ‘I will absolutely knock his block off if he rings you again.’
‘I don’t doubt it.’
‘Good, cos I will.’
‘I know, you said.’
‘I mean, what the hell did you see in him anyway?’ He puffed his fringe out of his eyes. ‘I mean! I know it’s not my business, but …’ He bit his lip. ‘Well, his hair for a start. His hair looks like he’s been dipped in oil, and his clothes! Well, his clothes were nice, but clothes don’t maketh the man, Rebecca. Colin Firth lied. A knobhead in Armani is still a knobhead in my book.’
‘Manners,’ she muttered.
‘What?’ He turned back from the window to look at her.
‘Manners maketh the man. That was the line. Never mock Colin Firth.’
‘Why was he a tailor then?’ he asked, genuinely confused.
‘He wasn’t a tailor, he was a highly trained … look, does it matter?’
‘Not really no, but I do want to watch that one again now.’
‘I have it in the lodge on DVD – oh Luke, what are we going on about?’
‘I don’t know, you started that one.’ He turned his head back to the window. A moment later, she saw him pull his phone out and Google ‘Colin Firth film quotes’.
Rebecca pushed her lips together to stop herself from laughing. Thank God she could press her face close to the window so he couldn’t see her face. She could see him though, he was still spouting on, first about how confusing Kingsman was, and then back to Robbie. Then he kept impersonating Robbie’s hairstyle by putting his own hair into ridiculous peaks and patterns. She could see his reflection bouncing back as they parked up by the café. The driver turned and smiled at them jovially.
‘Good night?’ he asked, as though he was utterly new.
‘Great, thanks,’ Luke said, back to being Mr Polite to everyone. It was so cute. Robbie treated people like they were all in his entourage, whether they were or not. ‘Keep the change.’
He handed the notes to the driver and got out. Rebecca went to open her door, but Luke was there, hand outstretched. She took it without hesitating and the driver went on his Elton-loving way. She fumbled for her keys, using the distraction to push the words out of her throat.
‘I didn’t see all that, not at first. The hair, sure, but he wore a helmet a lot. Everyone we knew had weird hair. It was good at first. We gelled.’
Luke shuddered. ‘Go on.’
She reached into her bag to try to locate her keys again. Her hands were freezing already.
‘He was committed to the slopes, just as much as I was. We ended up hanging out with the same people, entering the same competitions, it just evolved from there. He wasn’t as bad as he is now. He hates me, so he’s only showing his evil side. I broke our dream.’
‘You didn’t break anything, Rebecca. You had an accident. Was he not there, after?’
She thought back to that day on the slopes. Half delirious with pain, she’d heard him on the phone. Not to her mother back home, or any of their friends. They would have been calling too, given that her fall from grace had been televised for the world to see. They’d have seen it all, in instant replay. Her making the jump, landing, and her ski breaking. Turned out, it had been damaged in flight. Unchecked, the moment her body weight met the snow, she was out for the count.
Robbie was on the slopes, right there with her, but he wasn’t calling her mum. He was calling the agent they shared, telling them to make the most out of this ‘opportunity’. She couldn’t blame her agency, that was what they did. They did their job, controlled the damage, spun the stories, kept the offers rolling in. But when she’d heard him like that, she knew the engagement they’d decided to keep under wraps till after the competition was over. It hadn’t even been a week. She’d only worn her ring once, that night he proposed on the Whistler mountainside. The next day, she’d given it back to him for safekeeping whilst they flew to France. The rest? Well, that was bone-shattering history. She’d never seen the ring again, and she’d never asked to.
‘He was there when he thought it was a blip. He thought I’d maybe broken a leg, be off the circuit for a season. He was hoping to squeeze a quickie wedding in between. My agent, our agent, he was great. Matt handled my hospital treatment, got me the best. Listened to me when I said I didn’t want bedside YouTube videos with updates for my “fans”. There was no point to it anymore, I wasn’t that person.’
She felt herself weaken, and sniffed.
‘Hell, I was never that person. I didn’t care about the fancy merchandise, or the money. I just wanted to be the best at what I loved.’
‘How bad was it?’ Luke’s voice was low, caution whispering out of the question.
‘I didn’t let anyone touch me for the first two weeks. Not when I was awake, anyway. The pain meds were intense.’
She had a flashback of waking in the middle of the night, the pain in her body making her stir. Pushing what she came to call the bye-bye button. You pressed it, you went bye-bye.
‘Holly came to see me, and she told me I stank.’ She laughed, but it turned into a little sob. ‘She washed me, sorted me out and told me to pull myself together.’
‘She’s a good friend,’ said Luke as Rebecca pulled her keys out and unlocked the café door. They walked inside and she breathed in the scent of home, relaxing just a little. She could hear Luke locking the door behind her. ‘Are you recovered now?’
She didn’t answer for a moment, and he slowly walked closer to her. His footsteps were the only noise now. He put his hands around her, his front pressed tight to her back. She took his hands and wrapped them around herself.
‘Yeah, all better. The doctors did an amazing job.’ That was true, other than the scars. The roadmap of her crash and burn. ‘Few pins and plates here and there.’ Not to mention the physical therapy till she was sick, her muscles burning from the effort of keeping her body going. Working half arsed wasn’t an option if you wanted to get back to normal. Whatever normal passed for these days. Robbie wasn’t there for any of that.
‘Do you still ski?’
She didn’t give an answer, and he didn’t press for one. He dropped a kiss onto her cheek.
‘I think we drank all the wine …’ He whirled her around, dropping one hand so that she twirled around him. ‘Or I would suggest a nightcap. For our shot nerves.’ He looked down at his wrecked shirt. ‘And to celebrate our victory at Fight Club.’
Rebecca put her finger to her lips, looking around the empty café. ‘What happens in Fight Club, stays in Fight Club remember?’
He drew her to him, his feet moving into a slow step.
‘Dance with me then. Let’s shake the night up a bit.’
She laughed, throwing her head back as he picked her up off the floor and spun her around. Slowly releasing his grip on her till their eyes met, he lowered her till her feet were just brushing the floor.
‘It’s weird Rebecca, but so far, this week with you has been one of the most exciting of my life.’
‘From what I’ve heard, that doesn’t take much.’ He stuck his tongue out at her. ‘Thank you for tonight, for standing up for me.’ She patted him on the shoulder. ‘It felt nice to have someone there, having my back.’
‘Even though I pissed in your bin?’
She laughed like a drain, making him chuckle.
‘My new bin is nicer, thanks for that.’
‘I haven’t seen that yet.’ He touched his cheek to hers, dancing to a beat that they both seemed to hear. ‘You’ll have to show me.’
She pulled back slowly, enjoying the rough touch of his cheek against hers.
‘I have new sheets too.’ She brushed her lips against his. ‘You missed that as well.’
He kissed her till her toes curled, still moving her to the same beat.
Pulling away, just a little, dropping little kisses still as though his lips couldn’t bear the separation, he murmured something that made her heart melt.
‘Trust me, I have missed so much in my life already. I don’t intend to miss anything else. I don’t care if we’ve only known each other for three days. People spend years together, and it still doesn’t work out. I say we go with the flow for once. I think a full room inspection might even be required.’ He was smirking at her now, and it was her that couldn’t wait any longer. He was right! She’d not had sex in five years. What was the worst that could happen? He’d be rubbish? She’d be rubbish? He was leaving. It didn’t even matter. It was perfect, actually. She wouldn’t exactly bump into him, would she? Once the baby came, Hans would be busy, and Luke had whatever he had going on …
He was leaving though. The first man she’d liked in five years enough to break her sexual drought, and he was leaving. Soon probably.
‘Thinking too much is not part of the new plan, Rebecca.’ He smiled at her, giving her the sweetest little kiss. ‘I am a gentleman though, and I am sorry for being a bit forward.’ He grinned ruefully, looking out at their footprints in the snow. ‘Blame the French night air, eh? Or the wine.’ He started to pull away just a fraction, and she stopped him. He looked down at her, his hair still at odd angles from the cab ride. Utter sex hair. Wow.
‘We take this slow, okay?’ She tried to slow her words down. ‘I like you, but you’re—’
‘Leaving, I know.’ He dropped his head, and she brushed back his hair. He nuzzled into her hands. ‘I didn’t plan to do this, but—’
‘It’s okay. Let’s just leave that conversation for another time. The date’s not over yet.’
He kissed her again. ‘I like you too. When Robbie spoke to you like that, I just lost it. I’ve never been like this before.’ He covered his mouth with hers, teasing her with his tongue. ‘I think it’s something to do with you.’
She smiled at him, nodding her head in the direction of the display case.
‘There’s some wine in the bottom of my wardrobe.’ He raised a brow, and she kissed it. ‘Shut up, it’s my emergency stash. I stockpile for winter. It’s pretty boring around here when the season’s done.’ His smile dimmed a little, but she wanted it back. ‘You go up, I’ll get us some dessert.’
His eyes lit up. ‘God, woman, you know how to turn a man on.’ He grabbed her, making her laugh as he dipped her to the floor. ‘Sorry, the song was ending. Big finale.’ He ran his stubble along her neck, and she almost felt a bit Austen-like herself. She wasn’t as dignified though, and the feeling of his mouth on her collar bone made her want to dry hump his leg like a happy rescue hound. ‘Don’t be long, okay?’
He lifted her back up, taking the keys and unlocking the interior door with a spring in his step. Rebecca gathered her bag and shrugged her coat off. Dumping it on an upturned chair, she took out her phone, and with a shaky breath, she dialled Mina back.
‘Hi! It’s me, don’t worry.’ Mina’s voice sprang out of the phone, and Rebecca loosened her grip on the chair leg she had been gripping onto. ‘He grabbed my phone in the ruckus out back, the slimy little rat. Are you okay?’
Rebecca could hear Luke upstairs, the radio on as usual. She could hear glasses clinking together.
‘I’m fine, thanks. We got back home okay.’
‘Wow, the date did go well.’
‘Well, he lives with me. It’s complicated.’
Mina didn’t reply. Rebecca found herself filling the pause in conversation.
‘Not Robbie complicated. He’s from back home. I didn’t know him, but he’ll have to leave.’
‘Aww, you’re screwed then.’ Mina, as dry as ever. ‘If only the human race could invent something to transport people from country to country.’
‘Nice try. I can’t leave the café.’
‘Why not? Hans can get someone else in. Hell, once the baby comes, Holly will be glad of the break from him. He is going to be a gooey mess when that little one arrives.’
Rebecca laughed. ‘I know, but still.’
‘Still no excuse,’ Mina pressed. ‘Ignore Robbie, he’s a total mess. He thinks life is defined by sponsors and followers. Lester really went off on him after you left. He got my phone when he stomped off. What did he say?’
‘Not a lot,’ Rebecca headed over to the counter, picking out some nice treats from the display case. ‘Luke took over and went all Liam Neeson on him.’
‘Liam Neeson from Taken, full on?’
‘Yep.’ She filled two plates and grabbed two juice bottles too. She’d settle up later. ‘Nerd edition. He works in IT.’
‘Brains as well as brawn, eh? What the hell are you doing wasting time talking to me? I’m stocktaking, but if I had a hot alpha male brain box in my flat, I wouldn’t be calling you about it. I will, however, want a blow by blow tomorrow. And I want every detail. It’s been a while. Lester’s a bit of a dish, isn’t he?’ Mina was to the point, as ever.
‘Lester, eugh. He’s like my brother. And Luke is hardly alpha male. I don’t know what got into him tonight.’ She dropped her voice to a whisper.
‘Yeah, well, he isn’t my brother! Don’t put Luke down either, he didn’t like Robbie, and he stood up to him. That’s a good man. You need a good man. You deserve it, after everything you’ve been through. It was nice seeing you, I mean that.’
‘I know, you too. I won’t leave it so long next time.’
‘Don’t let that be the only thing you start doing again, Becks is part of you too. I saw her tonight, just for a second. I saw you when Luke went for Robbie. You care about the guy.’
‘Do I, hell!’
‘Luke, idiot. You care about Luke.’ Mina shouted something in Mandarin to someone in the background, a deep sigh escaping her lips. ‘Listen, someone should be getting some. Go get some for both of us.’ The phone clicked off as she started to shout at someone again, and Rebecca took everything upstairs.
The radio was off now, and she could see that he’d lit the candles in her lounge. He’d put a new sheet on the sofa, and set the wine out. On the table was an envelope. He’d got changed too. He was barefoot now, his glasses back on. Wearing a pair of cream sweats, he was shirtless.
Holy moly. He looked up as she entered, getting up automatically to take her plates from her.
‘These look amazing.’
She watched him pick one and take a bite. ‘Hans made them, good, eh? I learned from the best.’ He swallowed his mouthful.
‘I think I like your buns better though.’ The atmosphere changed again, and she realised that she was still standing there in her dress.
‘I bet you tell all the girls that. Why don’t you pick a movie, and I’ll go get changed?’
Closing her bedroom door behind her, she grabbed some clothes, chucking her outfit in her laundry hamper and grabbing a towel and some fresh loungewear she’d picked up in town. Another little thing she’d changed thanks to Luke. Raggy old yoga pants with holes in just didn’t cut it for nightcap time.
When she was freshly showered, she walked into the lounge to find him watching John Wick under a blanket. He lifted the blanket up for her, and she went to sit next to him. He smushed it around them both, putting his arm up for her to slide under. She did it, resting her head on his chest. He reached forward, taking her with him and picked up two full glasses of wine.
‘What’s wrong with Keanu?’ She took the wine, taking a deep sip.
‘His wife died, and then someone killed his dog.’
‘So that’s why he’s mad?’
Luke thought for a moment. ‘Essentially yes. It’s awesome though, Reeves is the best.’ She looked up at him, his glasses reflecting gun fire from the screen.
‘Christopher Reeves?’ He rolled his eyes, and she turned back to the screen chuckling.
‘Ha ha, Clark Kent. Yes, yes. I’ve heard that before.’ He huffed. ‘Dean Cain ruined my sex life in high school, and then bloody Tom Welling came in with his sodding underpants over his trousers.’
‘Aww, you poor thing.’ She watched Keanu take out a room full of bad guys, making enough time to run his hand through his floppy hair. ‘I always thought Clark Kent was a bit of a cutie myself. The best part of Superman.’
She could feel him smile, and his hand started to rub her shoulder.
‘I never thought of it that way before.’ He turned to her, and she felt his breath on her cheek. ‘I’d give anything for his X-ray vision right now.’
‘Cheesy.’
‘I know, but it’s funny.’
They both put their glasses down, kissing each other slowly.
‘Perv.’
He laughed, before kissing her again, his hands moving to her sides.
She shuffled underneath him as he moved over her, their legs and arms ending up wrapped around each other as they lay down on the sofa together.
‘Ow! My hair!’ He’d pinned a chunk of her black hair to the sofa with his elbow.
‘Oops, my bad. These aren’t the new sheets, are they?’ he checked, suddenly nervous again. She took his glasses off, putting them on the coffee table and taking his face in her hands.
‘No, they’re in my bedroom, with the new bin.’
‘Ooo, someone’s in a hurry.’
She laughed, but it was a little hollow. The truth was, her bottle was going. If she didn’t do this now, she’d think about all her sca—
don’tthinkaboutitdon’tthinkaboutit—
‘No, I just wanted to show you what a urine free bedroom looks like.’
He grinned, and she pulled him to her again.
‘Stop talking, and take me to bed, Luke.’
He jumped to his feet, surprisingly nimble for him. Scooping her into his arms, he flipped her over his shoulder.
‘Grab the wine, woman.’
She did as she was told for once, grabbing the bottle and squealing as he carried her off to the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him as he went.