Chapter Fifteen

 

Parker’s jaw dropped. “You’re such a liar. I was there. The condom was destroyed.”

It was like he didn’t even care there were others around.

Heat singed my cheeks as I did care. These people all standing around me were my friends, and it bothered me I was about to air more of my dirty laundry in front of them.

Breathing in some ocean-cooled courage, I paused and looked at each them, stopping on Parker briefly, before taking in the clenched features on Eric’s face.

“The baby isn’t yours, Parker. When that happened, I was already pregnant.” Newly pregnant, to be honest. The positive test was still in the trash.

“What?” He backed up and rubbed his legs, almost as if he were encouraging blood flow into them to run like hell. Which is probably what he should’ve done months ago.

“On my twenty-ninth birthday, well, actually, it was before that when I’d made up my mind…” I waved my hand through the air as if that would erase the messed-up words falling out of my mouth. “A while back,” I said with more clarity, “I decided I wanted a baby, but not necessarily a man. Men tend to love me and leave me. Point in case.”

I tipped my head to the side. Parker was a prime example.

I avoided all eye contact as I scanned the beach. Standing on my porch, the weight of their stares reduced me in size, and I felt as if I were trapped in the Jerry Springer show or something.

“I just wanted someone to love me as unconditionally as I would love it.” Instinctively, my hand rubbed the top of my bump.

A sigh rolled out of Eric. At least I thought it was him.

“And a baby was the answer. I was more than prepared to raise it on my own. I am financially secure and had an excellent job, at least I did, and a fantastic home to live in. So… I did what any reasonable person without a steady man in her life would do.”

“You bought sperm?” The disgust was strong in his tone and it sounded horrible when said like that.

“Yes, in a way. I selected a candidate, based on intelligence and some other figures that would probably make you all think even less of me than you do already. I’d made the motherhood decision long before you entered the picture.”

Cedar’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “I think it’s great. I think you’re amazing.”

It warmed my heart to hear that. Being a single mother came with enough stigma, but I was terrified when they learned I did it on purpose, it would be even worse.

“Thanks for saying so,” I whispered to Cedar.

To the waiting crowd standing there with shock on their faces, but hadn’t yet as a group disbanded, I added, “I’d been having regular appointments, and the timing was right, so I went in for insemination. And it took.”

I pushed at a little foot digging into my ribs. For the rest of his or her life, they would know how much they were wanted. It was no accidental pregnancy.

“And me? Did you just use me for sex?” Parker had every right to be hurt and had the shoe been on the other foot, I know I would’ve been too.

I shrugged. “Well…” The sex wasn’t as great as Parker claimed, at least not from my viewpoint, however, it was nice to have someone to chat with about Star Wars movies and have a little warmth in my bed. “At some point, yes. But truth be told, I expected you to walk away from us before I needed to say anything. You and I weren’t really serious, and I felt you knew that.”

“Wow. Thanks a lot.”

“I’m sorry. You were…” My inner bitch was fighting to be freed, but I needed to control her escape. I inhaled and held my breath for a second. “You were a way to pass time. I didn’t see us in the long-term future. And you didn’t either. We had more disagreements about the littlest things than most people do in thirty years.”

“Wow.” He stumbled backwards and sent me a long, painful glance before he broke eye contact. “For real? You got knocked up in a clinic? It’s not my baby?”

“I have the documentation to prove it.”

“Wow.” He snorted and rubbed his face.

The temperature dropped a couple of degrees as he shuffled on his worn dockers.

“Just one more thing. Did you ever really love me?”

My gaze fell to the railing I gripped with all my strength. No matter what had happened between us, I didn’t dare say the word that would possibly destroy him. Instead, I focused on breathing to match the roll of the waves – the only other audible sound.

“Well, fuck me.” It came out in a whisper but grew in strength. “You know what, fuck you! Fuck you for playing with my heart like that, you bitch.” He pointed to Eric. “You called me the coward, but who’s the coward now? She wouldn’t even fess up, until push came to pull, that it wasn’t my child. She’s the coward. I knew I’d done the right thing when I walked away. You can bet your sweet ass, I won’t be coming back. Now we’re through.”

Parker retreated between the houses and stopped. His voice cracked. “I thought you were different. Damn. You broke my heart, bitch. Rot in hell, you whore.”

Eric and his friends stood there as Parker stormed to his car and squealed the tires as he pinned it.

It didn’t matter that he was gone, his words ripped open my heart. All this time, I’d been the one who’d done the hurting. I should’ve been upfront with him. When he left, I figured it was for the best, and he was right, I did take the cowardly way out by keeping my lips shut. Damn.

Cedar rubbed my back, which was now aching from standing in an awkward and tightened position. “I think you’re incredible to have a baby on your own. To want a child without needing a man to support you.”

A weak smile crossed my face. I certainly didn’t feel incredible. Not at this moment.

“Are you okay?” Willow asked as she approached the deck.

“I’m fine, thank you. Just a little achy.”

“Have a seat.” She helped me into a chair but stood abruptly when Eric returned and breezed onto my deck.

“He’s gone.” He leaned against the banister after he climbed the stairs. “Will that be the last we see of him?”

I nodded. “As much as I just broke his heart, Parker doesn’t mess with documentation. It’s the be-all and end-all for him. He’s a huge collector of comic things and if stuff doesn’t have the required paperwork to claim its legitimacy, he’s not interested.” I tucked my hair behind my ear as I lowered my head. “I’m sorry you had to see all that. And to learn even more nasty information about me.”

“Cedar, I think we should head back to the fire.” Willow grabbed her hand and led her away from Eric and me.

“Bonfire time,” Mitch declared after giving a nod to his best friend. “Come join us soon, you two.”

Eric inhaled and exhaled and scuffed his foot on the floorboards. “Was that the truth?”

I gazed up. “Yeah.”

“You really think men love you and leave you?” The pitch in his voice was hard to deny.

“I really do.” The cold hard truth stung.

“And you’re still planning to stay here in Cheshire Bay?”

There was no place else I wanted to be.

“Yes.” The word was stronger than anticipated.

“Answer me honestly, if you and I were to start things, you believe with your whole being, that I will somehow end it and walk away?”

Like a bad smell, it lingered in the air, but the truth was the truth. Never once had a guy cared for me, or about me. I had no reason to believe a man falling in love with me was an option.

“You know what, don’t answer that.”

I swallowed and rubbed my bump. The little one was wide awake now.

“Of course, you’re going to think that. You have nothing to argue against it because no man has been good enough.”

“What?”

“So, from here on in, I plan on being that guy. The one who stands up for you, and who’ll stand by you when the going gets tough. Who won’t throw in the towel and find another when things don’t go as planned, because in life, if it’s one thing I can say with utter truth, it’s that nothing ever goes as planned.” He winked and bridged the distance between us, offering his hand.

I pulled myself to a stand, quivering in front of him.

“That sounds like a mighty promise.” My heart skipped a beat at the very idea of us being together for the long haul, especially since I knew in my soul he was the one I wanted.

He moved his finger as he spoke. “I cross my heart to be the man you need in your life. To be the sun in your day. To be the reason your heart flutters. I will prove to you how amazing you are, and how wonder and kindness are radiating out of you. I promise to tell you every day, even when you finally start believing that truth yourself.”

Tears built impressively fast and busted over their dams even quicker. “Oh, Eric. I hope you mean all that.”

“Every. Single. Word.” He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me in for a kiss, hesitating for a second. “You make me the happiest guy in Cheshire Bay.”

I pushed into him with all I had, feeling my legs weaken at the strength of his kiss, and the baby wiggling between us. Breaking apart, I gazed into his darkening eyes. “Perhaps you should get back to your friends.”

“Our friends, and yes, let’s.” Eric linked his fingers through mine. “Let’s go have a bite to eat and sing until the sun comes up.”

I glanced quickly to the ceiling. Beth was up there.

“First, I think I need to talk to someone. But it won’t take long.” I brushed my lips over his in parting. “Give me a few minutes.”

He waited until I was inside my kitchen before he walked away. Squaring my shoulders, I braced myself for another battle and headed upstairs.

 

* * *

 

My knuckles rapped against Beth’s door.

“Come in.”

Twisting the knob, I opened it slowly and entered. “Hey.”

She sat at the head of the bed, phone in hand, but set it down as I approached. “What’s up?”

“Listen, I’m sorry about what happened before.” I smoothed out a wrinkle on the comforter before I sat at the foot of the bed.

Her frostiness was gone. “I just got a text from Archie. You’re selling?”

My shoulders rolled inward, and I tucked my chin down. “Yeah, just not this place, sorry. I’m going to stay a while, see if I can’t find myself, and find out where I truly belong.”

Beth had packed all the extras she’d brought and returned my space back into what it was before her arrival. She sighed as she twisted the Pandora bracelet on her bony wrist and fiddled with the charms.

“I think we’re both on edge; you with the change in your life, me in mine. We’re going two different directions.”

A crack in my serious façade formed, and a smile inched to the tip of my lips. “That we are. And that’s okay because our friendship is strong enough to weather this storm.” I fiddled with one of the throw pillows, holding it over my chest. “I was just in a bad place as the guy I was interested in didn’t seem to let my past go, but it was a terrible misunderstanding on my part because I’m just highly sensitive. I’m trying to prove to this village how I’ve changed, and I take that negative energy personally, even if it’s not there. I am deeply ashamed of who I was, and I regret my past.”

“And that isn’t a terrible thing, as you’ll be able to make sure your little one doesn’t act the same way. In that respect, it’s a life lesson.” Her hand settled on the top of my bump.

“Thanks.” I offered her my hand, to which she squeezed. “When you breezed in and took over, it bothered me and made me wonder if I’d ever be able to take care of things myself.”

“Oh, Lil. You are so much stronger than you think you are. Look at you. You’re going to raise a child, on your own, in a totally rural area.” Despite the words, there was a smile growing and pride in her eyes. “I’m in awe of you.”

“Really? I’m the one who’s in awe of you. You’re a powerful woman, so determined and resourceful. Someone people respect.” My vision blurred as I spoke.

Why hadn’t we had a civil conversation like this before? Now I was really going to miss my friend.

Beth must’ve been feeling the same thing as she burst into tears and scooted over to give me a hug. I can’t remember the last time that happened. College maybe?

“I crept out onto your balcony. I heard everything. I’m not the only determined woman in this room.”

“Oh? You know Parker was here.”

She tipped her chin down a little. “For that, I’m so sorry. What the hell is geo-tagging?” There was a weak laugh. “But you… you’re amazing. And your friends? Lily, this is where you belong. Those are your people. They stood ready to battle, for you. The way the guys took the front and that one girl rushed on to the deck, well, I’m sorry to say, that never happened back home, did it?”

I shook my head. Usually, people scattered into the breeze.

“But here…” She rubbed my belly. “I hate to say it because I’m going to miss you so much, but this just isn’t a place to live, this is your home.”

My vision blurred further as I took in my best friend. “I’m going to miss you too.” I embraced her in another hug and wiped away my own fallen tears. “I’m not that far a drive away, or a flight even. Besides, I’ll be back for a few days in a couple of weeks to clear everything out.”

She delicately dabbed her eyes with a tissue. “If Archie’s selling, you won’t mind if I stage it? I’d oversee it personally, and I won’t even charge you.”

“I’d love that.” No doubt with her expertise, it would sell that much faster, and garner a higher profit.

“And what about the pictures I took here? Can I still use them in promotional materials?”

“Absolutely. Send me a release form, and I’ll let you use them on your website or however you see fit.” She was a gifted designer, and afterall, it was her colour selection that made the main floor look so amazing.

“Thank you.” She gazed around the room, bobbing her head. “This room will make an excellent nursery. Since you’re staying, you need to go shopping.”

“Only if you help me pick out furniture.” I rose and ambled around the space.

My former bedroom was going to be a nursery. With a lock on the window when she got older.

Beth beamed from ear to ear as she got off the bed and smoothed out the indent. “As much as I want to jump all over that, I think there’s someone else who should, at the very least, help you assemble it all if he doesn’t help you pick it out first.”

“Speaking of Eric, they’re really hoping you’ll come join us on the beach for songs and hot dogs.”

“Oh, my favourites.” Her eyes rolled but she chuckled good-naturedly. “Let me change, and I’ll be there.”

I walked to the door and gave my bestie a solid once over. “One more thing…”

“What’s that?”

Rather than speak, I stepped over to my friend and wrapped her in a full hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She squeezed me tight. “Now go. Eric’s waiting. I’ll be five minutes tops.”

With a spring in my step, I bobbed my way over to where my guy was and began what was the start of a new adventure.