It had been a rough ass journey but my baby and I managed somehow to survive. Life of the farm proved too much even for me to handle. When that crazy ass old man thought he was about to have me handling shit I had to raise up. My poor baby and I had to hitch a ride with the damn cows to the slaughter house and from there we kept it pushing till we landed in the Projects of Chicago. As luck would have it, the hood seemed the safest place to hide, go figure.
“Fuck you punk! Yo’ momma a crack head!” AJ yelled.
“AJ! Who are you talking to like that?” I yelled as I yanked open the door open to the apartment.
“I’m talking to that punk Mario, he always talking junk. Yeah that’s right, you betta’ take yo’ ass in the house!” AJ blurted out to his friend across the hall.
“Boy get yo’ ass in here!”
I tried to snatch a knot in his little ass. “I don’t know where you getting that language from but you ‘bout to let yo’ mouth write a check yo’ ass can’t cash,”
I don’t know what kind of crowd AJ was starting to hang with but his mouth had gotten completely out of control. And since that little nigga turned ten years old he was starting to smell himself. Well I got news for his little ass; I’m the head bitch in charge. The only person cussing up in this house is me.
“I’m sick of him, I’m sick of all those punks making fun of me,” AJ fumed as he stomped in the house and threw his backpack on the sofa bed.
I halfway wanted to slap him in his mouth, standing there looking just like his damn daddy. But my baby was having a bad day. And I wouldn’t be a good mother if I didn’t hear him out and try to encourage him.
“Come sit down son. Listen to me. No matter where you go in life somebody will always have something to say about you. You just have to learn how to have thick skin and tune the haters out.”
Now that my child was getting older it was time to start spitting that wisdom to him.
“They not saying anything about me momma, they talking about you.” AJ replied, “they saying that you my momma and my daddy.”
I knew the years of being on the run had taken its toll on my son. What I didn’t know was that he was also feeling the sting of being raised by a single parent. It was time my child learned some hard lessons in life. He was old enough to understand so I had to break it down for him.
“Listen baby, what they are saying is actually true. I am taking care of you like a mother and a father. I know you wish your dad was in your life, so do I, but I’m holding it down for both of us. The reason they talking about us is because the same thing is going on in their household too. Just remember that all that glitters isn’t gold. Do you know how many of your friends that are being raised by single mothers? It’s a shame but many moms have to take on both roles as father and mother. I mean I’m soft and nurturing when I need to be, I also have to raise you like a man would raise his son, since yo’ sorry ass father ain’t here. ”
I was all set to break the statistics of single parenthood down for his little ass when he said some shit that would shock my world.
“It’s not that it at all momma,” AJ responded, looking up at me innocently, shaking his head with big fat crocodile tears falling from his eyes. “They not saying you my daddy cause you raising me like a man. They saying it because they say you look like a man.”
My head jerked back. I was appalled. Where the hell did these little project bae bae kids get off saying that I looked like a man. I mean I know a bitch done fell off in the past few years, but most of these young bitches out here still couldn’t hold a candle to my fine ass.
“A man? They just trying to say something to get under your skin,” I replied, trying to play that shit off. But inside I was fuming. “You ain’t never heard of playing the dozens? Kids always telling yo’ momma jokes.”
“It’s more than just jokes, they hurt my feelings.” he whimpered. “They say you look like a man and you crazy because you don’t come out of the house.”
“What? That’s horrible! Now that’s just bullying!”
The part about me not coming out of the house was true. I had to keep a low profile so I only came out when it was necessary to shop or run errands. Other than that a bitch was living like a hermit. I can see where that would look strange, hell it was strange but I had to do what I needed to do to avoid getting caught. Now as far as me looking like a man, imma get to the bottom of that shit.
“That’s not the only thing momma,” he added.
“What else is it baby?” I asked in concern.
“They make fun of my clothes too,” he cried.
I looked over at my son’s flooded pants and tight Polo shirt. My child hadn’t gotten any new clothes in over a year. I wasn’t raised like this and I had my child out here looking like he had been thrown away. It made me feel like a bad momma.
“Get ready son, we going shopping!” I announced.
I’ll be dammed if my son gon’ be getting teased by these bad assed kids, besides, he deserved it.
“Really? I thought we couldn’t afford any new clothes,” he asked with a glimmer in his eye.
“Don't worry about that son, didn’t I always tell you that I would take care of you? Now you just get ready and let me worry about how much it costs.”
“Thank you so much mama,” he replied throwing his arms around me. “They won’t be able to tease me any more when they see my new clothes,” he beamed. “And I don’t care what they say, you don’t look like a man, you are the most beautiful momma in the world.”
“Aww, thank you son,” I responded. I could feel a tear forming in the corner of my eye. It was amazing how something that seemed so small could make a child happy.
“You welcome, I love you momma.”
“I love you too son.”
While AJ got ready I did some prepping. I went into the back of the closet and pulled out my blonde Mary J Blige wig. I made it a point to switch that shit up each time I decided to leave the house. I also wore baggy clothes and slipped on a pair of dark shades.
After we got off the bus and headed into the mall the first place AJ spotted was McDonalds. Leave it to a kid to be hungry as soon as they ass leave the house. I had just fed him a Spam sandwich before we left but he claimed he wasn’t full. I didn't have no damn happy meal money. As a matter of fact I didn't have any money except our bus fare back home until my check came next week. But since this was a special occasion I scrounged around in the bottom of my purse and found enough to get him four piece nugget and a small order of fries.
After he got done eating I decided to head over to JCPenny. They had nice school clothes, plus it was always like a mad house in there when a sale was going on. It was just the distraction we needed.
Once we were in the store I headed straight to the boys section and picked out five outfits for AJ to try on, Two in his size and three in the next size up. When he went into the dressing room I followed him.
“Okay baby try these pants on,” I said as I handed him the first pair in his size. “Alright, they fit perfect. Now take these other four pair and put them on top of them.”
“Don't you want me to take the other ones off?” He asked in confusion.
“Boy what did I say? Put the other pairs on top. And when you're done put the shirts on as well,” I demanded, handing him the rest of the clothing.
I peeped my head outside of the dressing room to make sure we hadn’t drawn any unwanted attention. Just as I figure it was pure pandemonium; between the mothers running back and forth to bring different sizes to the kids, to the packed isles. It made the perfect backdrop for a getaway.
“But ma why do you have me doing this? Are we about to steal these clothes?”
“Hush your damn mouth and do as I say.”
This little nigga was about to get us busted talking all loud and shit. Little ungrateful ass, hell I was doing all of this for him.
“And hurry up,” I barked as I yanked a shirt over his head, and then pulled a ski jacket. The winter was about to set in in Chi town and I wanted my baby to be prepared.
“Didn't you say it was wrong to steal?” he asked.
I swear I was about to pop this muthafucka in his mouth, if he said one more word, I'm going to forget that he's my son. This was survival, nothing more, nothing less. And if he was going to make it in this world he’d better ‘bout that life if he wanted to continue rolling with me. I mean he was my son and I loved him and all but a bitch had no time for anything slowing her down. You can sit back and judge me all you like, but I done came too far to be sitting up in somebody’s jail cell.
“Nigga, if you don't hurry up and put this shit on so we can get out of here I'm going to whoop your ass right here,” I snapped.
AJ pouted his lips from me scolding him but he still followed directions. He knew what was up. And if he didn’t he was gon’ learn today.
“Now when I give you the signal I want you to run your little ass out this store like you was trying out for the Olympics.”
“I don't know if I can run that fast with all these clothes on momma.”
“Do you need my foot up your ass as motivation?” I asked, giving him a major side eye.
AJ looked down at the floor and shook his head, “No ma’am.”
“That's what I thought; now get your little ass ready. And once you get started don’t stop for anything, head straight for the exit.”
I stepped out first to make sure that there wasn’t any plain clothes security. I could spot their asses a mile away.
Once I spotted an open break in the isle I tapped him on his shoulder, “Go!” I yelled as I took off in the direction I wanted him to follow. We knocked several women to the side as we made our way to the store entrance. I glanced back to make sure he was right behind me. As luck would have it his little ass got tripped up and almost fell but he bounced back. Surprisingly no one stopped either one of us. Aside from a few looks from salty customers that we damn near mowed down, we got away Scott free. Still, I couldn’t take any chances. Once we got a reasonable distance from the store I dipped into the bathroom in so AJ could catch his breath.
“Momma, I’m tired,” he panted as he bent down, placing his hands on his knees.
“Quick in here!” I motioned into a stall. I didn’t want to risk standing out in the open in case someone looked in here.
I left AJ in the stall and quickly ran out and pulled off a few paper towels. Once I was back inside I lifted his face up and wiped the sweat from his forehead. This was one of the proudest days of my life.
“You know you did real good back there.”
“I’m scared....” he panted.
“Nonsense! I gave you a mission and you handled yourself like a grown man. Yeah, you almost fell but you recovered like true G. That’s what I’m talking about.”
Hell I never knew when my ass might have to make a run for it and this was good practice for the boy.
“Now gimme these top layers.”
I instructed him to quickly remove the first few outfits to allow him to move with a little more ease.
“We got one more stop to make,” I announced as I stuffed the clothing in my tote bag.
I figure since luck had been on our side I may as well grab my baby some new shoes as well. Plus I didn’t know when I would be able to do this again. I had to strike while the irons were hot.
“Where are we going mama?”
“Footlocker! Lets go!”
Once we arrived at the store I asked the clerk to bring me a pair of the newest Jordan’s. I was sending my baby back to school in style. While she went to go get the shoes I found a secluded corner for us to sit. I nervously watched the entrance anticipating a brigade of police storming the place and taking me down in front of my son. As much as I hated to admit it, this was my worst fear. The whole scenario made me sick to the stomach, not because I was afraid of getting caught, but because I was having damn flashbacks of the last time I was in Footlocker and Peyton showed his ass up. So far I had managed to hide him from AJ when he did appear. That shit would probably scare the daylights out of any child. I don’t know what I would tell him.
When the clerk arrived I made sure that the shoes fit, and then I sent her for another pair. Once she was out of sight I instructed AJ to take off with the new shoes on his feet.
He made it out the store but was spotted by a fat assed rent a cop. As soon as he attempted to run after AJ I tripped that bastard. He went down hard, screaming and holding his knee like a little bitch. When he tried to grab his walkie talkie I kicked that shit out of his hand and stomped that shit till it broke into pieces.
“Help! Stop them?” the guard yelled as he attempted to get up.
There were bystanders starting to gawk but as usual in the hood no one said a word. As a matter of fact they were actually cracking up. I figured I better make hast before one of these fools pulled out a cellphone and started recording. The last thing I needed was my ass showing up on World Star Ship Hip Hop. By the time he finally recovered and got ahold of mall security AJ and I were long gone. My baby had not only made it out of the mall, but to the bus stop just as planned. He was already waiting when I got there and we were able to hop on the next bus without any issues.
I couldn't do anything but sit back and smile. It felt good to do a little shopping for my child. Yeah I know, I might not have gone about it the traditional way but my son got what he needed none the less. And he also learned valuable tools that would carry him throughout life that would help him survive. Today it was clothes, who knows, one day it may be food or shelter.
I could tell that AJ was worn out from all the excitement. But it was all going to be worth it when he stunted on them bad ass kids at school tomorrow, speaking of which I still needed to find out who in the fuck was spreading rumors about me being a man.
“So baby, you never did tell mama which one of those little punks said that I looked like a man.”
“Huh? It was Mario. He always has something smart to say when I leave out of the house,” he replied, lifting his head from off my shoulder, half asleep.
Oh so it’s Mario's little ass, I thought. No wonder AJ was cussing him out. It's about time I taught his little ass a lesson in respect.
When we finally got off the bus and made it back to the projects I noticed Mario playing outside by himself. I unlocked the door and sent AJ in the house.
“Go on up and put your stuff away. I'll be there in a second.”
Here this little motherfucker was looking like a damn Hobbit and had the nerve to say I look like a man, I thought as I made my way over to his bike.
It was the perfect setting, not only was it almost dark outside, no one was watching him.
“What's Up Mario?” I asked. I was two seconds away from snatching his little ass up but I couldn't risk him telling anyone. It didn't matter. The fact that I had caught him off guard cornered him and had him scared shitless was good enough. He looked like he was about to piss on himself.
“Yes ma’am?” He asked nervously.
“I hear you been taking shit. You been telling the other kids that I look like a man?” I asked as I towered over him.
“No.. I..I didn’t say that,” he stuttered.
“Bullshit! You been fucking with AJ every time he leaves out the house. Well I’m here to tell you that it stops today. You disrespect me and mine imma show you how a man will beat that ass. You got that?”
“Yes...” he replied in a low tone. His voice shook as the tears rolled down his face.
“Good! Now run tell dat!” My voice thundered as Peyton took over and glared down at him.
He stood frozen in fear with his eyeballs damn near popped out of his head. Needless, to say AJ never had to worry about him ever again.
Seven years later