When I pulled up to the house, I drove my car all the way to the front door. I ain’t care about no fucking grass or nothing. I had three things on my mind: get Emoni, get some of our shit, and get out of there before Cash showed up like I knew he would. I knew he wasn’t going to heed what I said back at the club. He was like most men. He wanted to play until it was time to pay, and like always, they don’t miss shit until it’s gone. Now that I’d walked out on him and said that I was through with him, he was going to try to do whatever he could to make me stay. That was how he operated.
I walked up to the door and busted it open like I was the damn police or something. The door hit the wall so hard that it knocked down a portrait that was hanging up. I didn’t care about any of that shit. It wasn’t my house to begin with.
“Where’s Emoni?” I asked the chick Monique who would babysit for us from time to time. I must have scared the poor girl, because she came running to the door shaking and stuttering.
“She’s upstairs in her room. What’s wrong? What’s going on?” she asked, barely getting her words out.
I didn’t say anything to her, I ran up the stairs, straight to my daughter’s room. Trying not to wake her, I walked over to the closet, grabbed her custom-made Doc McStuffins suitcase, and began pulling clothes off the hangers and placing them inside. When it was filled, I grabbed another one, walked over to her dresser, and began pulling clothes out and dropping them inside.
“What’s going on, Ms. Miller?” Monique asked from the doorway.
I looked back at her, gave her a look that said, “Bitch, shut the fuck up,” and continued on about my business. When I was through packing what I could, I placed the suitcases by the door, instructing her to take them downstairs and place them by the front door. I then walked back over to the bed to get Emoni.
“Moni, wake up, baby,” I said, gently shaking her. She tossed and turned in her sleep a bit before she fell back asleep. “Moni, it’s Mommy. Baby, wake up.”
“Mommy?” she asked, sitting up and wiping the sleep from her eyes.
“Come on, let’s go,” I said, grabbing her arms.
“But I’m tired. I want to go back to sleep,” she said groggily.
I felt bad that I had to wake my 4-year-old daughter up at this time of the morning, all because of her stupid-ass father. “Come on, you’ll get to sleep when we get home,” I said, picking her up.
“But we are home, Mommy. Where’s Daddy?” she asked, more alert this time. For only 4, my daughter was very bright and smart as hell.
I ignored her question and decided that I was going to have to carry her out to the car. After wrapping her into her blanket, I picked her up and carried her out of the room and down the stairs. We bumped into Monique, who was still standing by the door, but this time she was talking to someone on the phone.
“Umm, excuse me, Ms. Miller,” she said, stopping me in my tracks. Then she handed me the phone and said, “Mr. Edwards would like to talk to you. He says it’s important.”
I looked at the phone in her hand, and then I looked at her as if she were crazy. “Tell Cash I have nothing to say to him.”
“Look, I don’t have time for this shit. Tell Cash to leave me the fuck alone,” I said, pushing past her. “While you’re at it, you can tell him I said to jump on a first-class flight straight to hell please. Better yet, jump off a bridge. It might make me feel better.” With that I left.
When I made it to the car, I opened the door and placed Emoni on the back seat. When I made sure that she was in there safely, I ran and got her bags from by the door and placed them in the trunk. Leaving it open, I ran back inside and up to what used to be my bedroom. I grabbed one of Cash’s overnight bags and filled it with as many of my clothes as possible that could fit in there. I then moved to the closet and proceeded to open the safe. I removed a couple of bands, my bank statements, the keys to my safety deposit boxes, and the keys to my house and threw them in my purse, which was sitting on the dresser. I wasn’t worrying about jewelry or anything else. I could get those material things again. All I wanted to do was get what was mine and be on my way. I wasn’t even going to worry about the rest of my clothes. I was just going to have to buy some for myself, as well as Emoni.
After making sure I had everything that I needed, I grabbed the overnight bag, along with my purse, and ran back downstairs. I was guessing that Monique had left, because I didn’t see her anymore. It was either that or she was in another part of the house. Whatever the case, I didn’t care. All I cared about was getting the hell out of dodge.
Once I made it back outside, I threw my bags in the trunk, closed it, hopped in my car, and backed up onto the street. Cash had better hope that Monique was still there, because I didn’t even bother to close the door. I left that bitch wide open. As far as I was concerned, I no longer cared what happened. I didn’t care if somebody went up in there and stole everything or the bitch burned down. After taking one last look at the house that was my home for a few years, I threw my car in gear and sped off. It’s going to be a long time before I ever step foot near this bitch again, I thought as I drove off.
I peeped in the mirror and saw that Moni was sound asleep on the back seat. I couldn’t believe that I was dragging my child out of the house at three in the morning. Lord knows if my mama knew that, she would kick my ass, but she lived back in Louisiana, and I was happy about that. In that moment, as I looked at my 4-year-old daughter sleeping, I made a promise to myself that I was going to set an example for her. I wanted her to know what a queen was and how one should be treated. She didn’t need to see what I was going through with her father, because Lord knows that wasn’t how a queen was supposed to be treated.
“It’s okay, pooh. If I have to be alone, I promise I will do that before I ever let a nigga come in my life and mistreat me again,” I said as if she could hear me. I meant what I said though. I wouldn’t let another man come into my life and fuck it up as Cash had done these past years. In fact, I wasn’t even going to look for a man. I was going to let him find me.
Cash
As I stood there watching the only woman I’d ever loved besides my mother and daughter walk out on me, I wanted to break down and cry or at least hurt something. I didn’t mean for Keys to find out about Mia or li’l Cash. Well, at least not yet. I wanted to settle down, make her my wife, have another baby, and then I was going to tell her about li’l Cash. This was too early. She wasn’t supposed to find out this way. I had just bought her a ring and was planning to marry her in the next few months. Even though we had gotten into it and she had broken up with me earlier, I wasn’t tripping. We’d been through a lot of shit, but I knew I was going to marry her. However, that stupid bitch Mia had to come in and fuck everything up. Only God knows what I was going to do to that bitch when I got close to her and there was no one around. I was going to make sure that she respected me the next time, and that was on everything.
I didn’t even know how the bitch found out where I stayed. She knew about Keyon because I was the one who told her about her. I made that the first thing I mentioned when shorty first came at me. I let it be known that I already had a woman who I was not leaving, but shorty still wanted to fuck with ya boy, so that was what we did. We fucked around for maybe about a year, but then she started to catch feelings. I told her I wasn’t having that, so she started threatening me, saying that she was going to tell my girl all about our relationship. I ended up whooping her ass and leaving her alone for a few months. However, one time when I was in town, we ended up fucking, and a few weeks later, she ended up pregnant. That bitch had trapped me, but I didn’t have any proof. How the fuck did I stop fucking with her for months, and just when I decided to fuck with her and give her some dick, she ended up pregnant? That shit still didn’t sit right with me, but there was nothing I could do about it. Li’l Cash was here, and nobody could do anything about it, not even Keyon.
“Cash, where are you going?” Mia asked, walking behind me.
“Look, Mia, just leave me alone, all right?” I shouted at her.
“Nah, fuck that. I’m tired of you pushing me away. You’re going to talk to me, and I mean right fucking now!” she replied.
I turned to her and stared at her for a minute. Had I known that this bitch would pull some shit like that, I wouldn’t have fucked with her from the beginning. She grabbed my arm, but I quickly pulled it back.
“Come here, Cash!”
“Dawg, for real. I’m not even trying to be near you right now, because I’m afraid of what I might do to you!” I said, waving her off as I walked off toward my car.
“Too bad, because I’m not going no damn where!” she screamed and followed me. “What is it about her that has you like this, huh? I thought you said you loved me, that you wanted to marry me. That we were going to be a family. Cash, I’m the mother of your child. I deserve some type of respect, and I damn well deserve some answers. Hell, you even bought me a ring!”
“Look, bitch, you just basically cost me my girl and my life. The best thing you can do for me right now is to get ghost before I fuck around and have our son motherless,” I told her in the nicest way that I could’ve. “You want some type of respect, hollering about you’re the mother of my child. What the fuck about Keyon? She’s also the mother of my child. You didn’t give her any respect when you rolled your sad ass up in here and pulled that shit in front of basically everybody who lives in Memphis, but you over here demanding that I respect you. You don’t give me anything to respect, and for your information, I only bought that ring to make you shut your funky-ass mouth. I never had any intention of marrying you. Fuck. That ring ain’t even real, homegirl.”
“Boy, you know better. You ain’t going to put your hands on me. I don’t give a fuck who she is. You owed her respect. I didn’t. You weren’t worrying about my feelings, so why should I worry about sparing her feelings, Casimere?” she said, placing her hands on her hips.
I was about to show her better than I could tell her, but dude pulled up with my car, so instead of giving in to her bullshit, I walked over to my car and hopped in. As I was about to close the door, she stopped me.
“Cash, you better not walk away from me. I need you. Your son needs you. You can’t and won’t do this shit to us!”
“Dawg, you taking me for a joke right now. You really lucky I’m not breaking your fucking neck and shit from the shit you just pulled. So, I’m telling you now to get the fuck away from me!”
“I already told you that I’m not going nowhere. So you might as well talk to me now.”
I looked at her for a minute. I had love for my baby mama. I mean, she did birth my one and only son. She kept him right, and whenever I was in town, she devoted herself to me, but right now, I felt totally different about her. I never in my right mind thought she was one of them sheisty females or that she would try to fuck over a nigga, but, boy, was I wrong. The shit she pulled tonight had me on one. It wasn’t as if I didn’t tell her ass before that I had a woman in my life—a real woman. Shit, she couldn’t compare to Keyon. She couldn’t do half of the shit that Keyon did for me when I was broke and didn’t have anything. Keys was my ride or die. I wanted to leave that ho stanking, but because of li’l Cash, I wouldn’t. If she kept pushing on my nerves though, I would have to go back on my word.
“The best thing you can do to keep your life right nice is to go back to Chicago and be with our son. When I’m through putting back the pieces of my life you just fucked up, I’ll come and see y’all, but until then, stay the fuck away from me and Keyon and go back home.” I didn’t even give her time to respond before I closed my car door and pulled off, never looking back. I didn’t have time to be wasting on her right now. I needed to get home and stop Keys from leaving me and taking my daughter with her.
I made it home in literally fifteen minutes. Lord knows it was supposed to take me much longer, but I damn near broke every traffic law trying to get home. I even sideswiped a car on my way, but I didn’t stop. I just kept it pushing and prayed that no one saw me and called the police on me before I got home. The only thing on my mind was getting home to Keys and my daughter.
When I pulled up to the house, Keyon’s car was nowhere in sight, and the front door was wide open. I hurriedly threw my car into park, jumped out, and ran inside. “Keyon!” I yelled once I entered the house. I spotted a few portraits on the floor that were once on the wall, but I wasn’t worrying about that. “Keys. Emoni!”
“Umm, they’re not here. They left about ten to fifteen minutes ago,” the babysitter said.
“Left? Where did they go?” I questioned her.
“I have no idea.”
“Fuck!” I yelled. I walked over to the wall and punched a hole in it. I instantly regretted it when an excruciating pain shot through my hand. “Ahhh fuck!” I screamed out in pain.
“Hold on, let me help you,” Monique said, running to the kitchen. A few minutes later, she came back with a Ziploc bag with ice in it. “Here, place this on it.”
I grabbed the bag from her and placed it on my hand. Even that shit was hurting, but nothing compared to the hurt I was feeling without my girl and my daughter being here. I couldn’t believe that Keyon actually left me and took Moni with her. I knew she said it, but I thought she was just playing on her emotions as she always did. I never really thought she would actually go through with it.
Ignoring the pain in my hand, I stood up. I then reached into my pockets and pulled out the money that I had collected from my boy earlier. I peeled off a few hundreds and then handed them to Monique. “Thank you for watching Emoni, and thanks for the ice. You can go home now.”
“Are you sure? I mean, do you need me to take you to the hospital for your hand or something?” she asked, concerned.
“Nah, I’m straight, but thanks for caring.”
“Okay. Well, be careful and take care of yourself, Mr. Edwards,” she said, standing up. She then grabbed her purse from the floor and left.
I sat down on the floor, feeling defeated. Keys was my everything. Without shorty I didn’t know how I would’ve survived. Baby girl always kept me on my A game. When I didn’t have a dime, she bought me everything that I needed, and if she didn’t have it, she would steal it for me. Shorty was my gangsta bitch. She was my thug. She wasn’t my wife, but when shit was tight, she was always there to make it all seem right. To know that she had finally reached her breaking point with me was devastating. I always imagined that we would be together forever, until we were old and gray, sitting in rocking chairs on our front porch, raising our grandkids together. My actions barely showed up, but shorty was like my ribs. Without her, there was no me, and I couldn’t just sit back and let her go like that. I was not about to lose my woman like that. Fuck all that shit. I wasn’t one of those types of niggas who would just sit there and do nothing. I was going to fight for what was mine.
As I sat there on the floor, I couldn’t help but think about Keyon and Louisiana. The Keyon who was here today wasn’t shit compared to the Keyon back then. My baby was a bad girl, but she had calmed down a lot. Baby girl was a live wire, and everyone in Louisiana knew the shit. That was how I met her. She and one of her friends were at a party down at Southern University Campus in Baton Rouge. Me and my friend Joey were there also. Well, at least then we were friends. Anyway, the campus was popping, and there were food and drinks all over. When I tell you damn near every teenager from Louisiana was there, they were.
“Damn, nigga, I’m so glad we decided to come to this party,” Joey said, eyeing the females in attendance.
“Shit, I’m glad my damn self. It ain’t like we had nothing better to do,” I answered, enjoying the view myself. “I can’t wait until we’re able to get with Big Dog and get this money.”
“Nigga, me neither,” he replied just as we heard a commotion coming from behind us. We turned to find two females fussing.
“Bitch, next time, you’d better watch where you’re walking,” a bright chick said to a chick with a caramel complexion.
“Look, Brittney, you better go ahead about ya business. I’m not in the mood, and you know damn well you bumped into me,” the chick spoke calmly.
I tapped Joey and told him to follow me over there. I wanted to see the shit up close.
“Keyon, I didn’t do shit. You bumped me,” ol’ girl said, inching closer to the dark chick.
“Fuck it,” the chick named Keyon responded, taking off her earrings. She handed them to her friend, then walked over to the other girl. “You know this ain’t about you bumping me, Brittney. So tell us why you’re doing it, because I’m sure everyone would love to know.”
Brittney looked from her friend to Keyon, then back to her friend. She didn’t say anything. She just folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes. Keyon looked around, and that was when our eyes connected. For a minute she stood there staring at me. It was like she was talking to me with her eyes.
“That’s this ho’s problem. She’s always in somebody’s man’s f—” Brittney began to say but was stopped when Keyon’s fist connected with her mouth. Next thing we knew, they were having a brawl right there in front of everybody.
“Bitch, we both know your dumb ass is only fucking with me behind that nigga Blandy,” Keyon said as she continued to beat the brakes off her. I couldn’t lie. She ain’t got a lick off her. She wasn’t even swinging back. It was like she knew she was about to get her ass whipped. “Next time, you’re going to think twice before you fuck around and play with me behind a nigga I don’t want.”
I looked around at all the people watching the fight. Nobody was trying to stop them. Everyone was standing around just looking like they wanted the shit to happen, but I couldn’t continue to watch that shit any longer. Why would I let them continue to fight and risk them going to jail or something?
“Come on,” I said, grabbing her off the girl.
“Nah, let me go so I can give her what she wants,” she yelled, trying to break away from me.
I pulled her close before whispering in her ear. Instantly she stopped putting up a fight and walked off with me. For a minute we didn’t say anything. We only walked. We walked until we were away from everyone.
“You good, li’l mama?” I finally asked her.
“Yeah, I’m good. Thank you,” she replied, twirling a finger in her hair.
“You don’t have to thank me. I just couldn’t stand there and continue to let a beautiful girl like yourself be out here fighting like that,” I said, which caused her to blush. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what was all that about?”
“You know, the usual. She was just mad because her boyfriend likes me and told me so in my Facebook inbox,” she told me. I would have figured that it had something to do with a man even if I hadn’t heard them fighting. That was how females were. They were quick to fight behind a nigga.
“So are you single?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Why what?”
“Why are you single?”
“Because I don’t have time to be playing games with these niggas. All of them were confused and wanted more than one female. I wasn’t trying to be nobody’s option,” she explained.
“Well, what if I said I wanted you to be my one and only girl?” I asked. I couldn’t lie. When I first laid eyes on her, I wanted her. I was glad to hear that she didn’t have a man or anything, because I was trying to get to know her on another level.
“I don’t even know you. For all I know you could be a killer or something,” she said, smiling.
“That’s okay. We can get to know each other.”
“Okay, give me your number, and we can start from there,” she said to me.
“Okay,” I said, pulling out a pen and paper. I wrote my number down before handing her the paper. She then took the paper and pen and did the same. “Make sure you call me, beautiful.”
“I will,” she replied. She leaned in and kissed my cheek before she walked off. She ended up calling me the next day, and ever since then we’d been together.
After a few minutes of sitting on the floor and debating what I wanted to do, I got up and walked up the stairs to my room and into the closet. Walking over to the safe, I unlocked it to get the set of keys that Keyon had in there. She thought I didn’t know, but I knew she’d always had a spare set in there. To my surprise, when I opened the safe, the keys were gone. So were a few other things that were in there a few days ago.
Closing the safe, I looked around the closet and noticed a few empty hangers. I walked out of the closet, down the hall, and into Emoni’s room, where I found the closet door open and a few open empty drawers. Passing my hand over my face, I walked over to Emoni’s bed and took a seat on it. I then pulled out my phone and dialed Keys’ number. The phone rang a few times before it went to voicemail. Deciding not to leave a message, I hung the phone up and tried her number again. This time, it rang two times and she sent it to voicemail, which let me know that she saw me calling. I wanted to feel some type of way, but I couldn’t. I knew that what I did and had done to her these past few years was going to catch up with me. I just didn’t think that it would happen this soon. I thought our love was going to conquer everything, but obviously, I was wrong.
After sitting in Emoni’s room for a few more minutes, I got up. I wasn’t about to just sit there and let my girl go like that. I had to do something. Even though I didn’t know what it was, I was going to think of something.
Going into my room, I grabbed an overnight bag, threw a few items in there, and left, making my way down the stairs. I made sure that all the doors and windows downstairs were locked before I set the alarm and headed out the door. I hopped in my car, threw the bag in the back seat, and drove off. It was late, but I was going to Keys’ house. Hopefully, she would think about all the good times we’d been through and take me back. That was a far stretch, but I was hoping and praying that God would work some type of miracle for me.