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ERIC
Squeezing my eyes tight, I exhale in relief as I clutch Alexa close.
Finally, she had agreed to marry me.
When Axton had at first suggested it, I have to admit I had been taken aback.
But while watching Alexa struggle with understanding what Axton was suggesting, then feeling as if she had torn my heart from my chest when she had taken off like she had, I knew without a doubt that I wanted Alexa as my wife.
To be with me forever.
I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I’d tried it once and I’d gone back to being a cold, hard shell of a man again.
She brought life to me.
I wanted to tell her all this but with all of her wildly swinging emotions, I knew I needed to give her time, to coax her into it.
I was also scared deep down that she really didn’t want to marry me.
So, I’ll go this route right now, give her time to think.
To adjust to her future with me.
Onyx shifts, nuzzling her softly, bringing my attention to him.
I’m not sure how he found me wandering the fields, searching for any sign of them in the waning evening light.
But when I’d seen him, slowly and calmly walking towards me with Alexa lying trustingly over his neck, I instantly read his body language.
He was bringing her to me because he knew she needed me.
Releasing one arm from around Alexa, I reach out and run my hand over his muscled neck in gratitude.
Not once, but twice now, he’d brought her back to me.
Alexa turns in my arm, reaching her hand out to pat Onyx as well.
A few moments of silence later, she asks softly, “So what’s next?”
Squeezing her gently in reassurance, I say equally as softly, “We tell Jenny.”
Nodding, she sighs, her head coming to rest on my chest again.
We remain like this, just holding each other for several more moments, absorbing how our lives were about to change.
“Eric...I’m so scared,” I hear her whisper as I feel her arms squeeze me tighter to her.
Kissing the top of her head, I murmur soothingly, “I know, Alexa. But this time you’re not alone. You have me.”
Lifting her head to look me in the eye, I see the tears and the fear in her eyes and it makes my heart ache.
Kissing her lips, just gently gliding mine over hers, I silently try to ease her fears. Sliding my hands down her arms, I tangle my fingers through hers as I continue to kiss her like this for a few more moments.
Sighing, my heart deeply happy that she’s about to become mine, for better or worse, I murmur against her lips, “We should do this as soon as we can.”
Her hands squeeze mine tightly in hers, as she replies, “Okay.”
Giving her one last kiss on her lips, I release only one of her hands as we turn to walk back home, Alexa clucking softly to Onyx who obediently walks next to her. After returning Onyx to his stall, this time, Alexa slips her hand into mine as we head towards the house.
Opening the kitchen door, we find Miranda tending on Axton’s every need, the older lady completely smitten by the smile on his ruggedly handsome face, as Jenny sits next to Axton, coloring while humming contentedly.
Axton’s eyes come to us, his eyebrow lifting in a silent question as he takes in our joined hands.
Giving him a short, quick nod, I clear my throat as I begin.
“Jenny, Miranda.” I inhale deeply, suddenly nervous as Jenny’s innocent eyes comes to mine.
I was about to change her life, forever.
What if she doesn’t want me to marry her mom? – I silently panic.
But knowing this is what’s better for her, I say softly, while keeping my eyes carefully trained on her for her reaction, “I’ve asked your mom to marry me.”
Immediately, leaving no doubt as to how she feels, and one of the things that I’ve come to love about Jenny, she drops her crayon to clap her hands excitedly. Then before, I’ve had a chance to say anything further, she is out of her chair and running across the kitchen to me.
Releasing Alexa’s hand, I kneel, holding my arms out to her, relishing the feeling of her small arms sliding around my neck, as she plants a kiss on my cheek before saying in awe, “I’ve been praying for you to become my daddy and now it’s coming true!”
Her arms then squeeze me even tighter, my arms squeezing her tighter in return, as her words echo through my brain.
Daddy...
The term should scare me, make me run the hell away.
But it doesn’t.
Instead, I feel tears prick my eyes, feel my heart melt even more for this little girl.
My eyes meet Axton’s as I stand with Jenny still clutching me tightly, his eyes one of amusement as he says, “I’m guessing we have no issue about getting this done soon?”
Closing my eyes, I savor Jenny’s weight as I nod.
I feel a hand on my back, and turning my head, I see Miranda standing next to me, her eyes filled with tears as she whispers, “Thank you.”
Releasing one arm from around Jenny, I pull Miranda into my side, prompting Jenny to wrap one arm around Miranda’s neck while still keeping one around mine.
“No thank you is necessary,” I murmur to Miranda as I reply truthfully, “I’m the lucky one.”
Miranda leans up to place a kiss on my cheek and it’s then that I see Alexa watching us.
But there’s no expression of joy.
Only one of worry.
My heart aches because Alexa doesn’t realize yet that what I’m holding in my arms is in no way a burden on me. She couldn’t be further from the truth. These people surrounding me right now, are my whole world.
Lifting my arm from Miranda, I hold it out in a gesture for Alexa to join our little group hug. Reluctantly, she steps into the circle, a forced smile on her face as she slides her arm around Miranda and me.
“You’ve caught yourself a fine husband, Alexa,” Miranda says happily, her face beaming.
I feel Alexa flinch slightly at the word while my heart beat triples in time.
Understanding what she is feeling, knowing that I have time on my side to prove to her that she is all I want, I pull her slightly tighter to me in reassurance.
“Mommy, when will you be getting married,” Jenny asks, drawing all eyes to her.
My eyes go back to Alexa, watching as she swallows thickly, as she struggles with her reply.
“As soon as we can,” I reply easily, deciding to help Alexa out. “But a woman needs time to find a dress, right? And since I’m pretty sure you’ll be her flower girl, you’ll also need to find a pretty dress.”
With her eyes wide in excitement, Jenny asks, “And Miranda too?”
Chuckling, I kiss Jenny on the cheek quickly, before releasing Alexa and Miranda to slide Jenny into her mom’s arms.
“Yes, Miranda too,” I reply. Looking at the beautiful blond child, now perched on the hip of Alexa, my heart flips with joy.
I’m going to have a family, - I silently think in wonder.
Reaching out both of my hands, I cup Alexa’s face and pull her into me to place a soft kiss in silent thank you on her forehead. Releasing her, I turn my attention to Axton, who has been quietly standing by and observing the interaction.
“I’ll walk with you to your car,” I murmur.
With another lift of his eyebrow, he turns his attention to Miranda, placing a kiss on the back of her hand while murmuring how nice it was to meet her. Leaving Miranda swooning, he says quick goodbyes to Alexa and Jenny before following me out the door.
“Well, well,” he says as soon as we are out of ear shot.
“Fuck off,” I say lightly, too much in a good mood to let his ribbing get to me.
“Borden told me how you were smitten but I have to say I didn’t believe it. Not for a moment until I just witnessed it with my own eyes. I thought you’d just found a different way to amuse yourself. But Jesus man!” he continues in enjoyment, “You’re already a dad to that little girl. She adores you!”
Turning to him as we reach his car, I take no issue with his ribbing because it’s all true.
I love Jenny as much as I love her mom.
“She’s amazing, isn’t she?” is my only reply.
Axton gives a short bark of laughter, along with a slap on my back, as he replies, “Eric the womanizer has disappeared. Lost to a tiny little girl and her mom.”
Grinning, I reach out my hand to shake his.
But then Axton loses his smile, sobering as he releases my hand.
“Alexa seems a little...” he struggles for a word, so I supply him with it.
“Weary?”
He nods, exhaling deeply, as he reveals his fear, “I can see that she’s into you, but I sense there’s a reluctance toward marrying you.”
Nodding, I reply as I sigh, “She thinks she’s a burden, that this isn’t my fight.”
Axton nods, understanding what I said and where Alexa is coming from.
Giving my shoulder a light tap, he replies easily, “Well, if she did the impossible and made the mighty, unattainable Eric fall head over heels in love, then I’m sure you’ll be able to make her realize how much you want this.”
Nodding, losing a little of my euphoria, I reply, “Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later.”
As Axton gets into his car and drives away after telling me he’ll be in touch tomorrow, I turn back to the house.
Firmly pushing away this niggling fear that Alexa doesn’t really want to marry me.