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Slowly, I float satiated, back to reality.
I inhale Borden's scent, reveling in it.
That was the most intense feeling I have ever felt. His weight resting on top of me reassures me, making me feel that this has been more than a one-night quickie. I kiss his neck, whispering into his ear, "Wow."
He lifts his head and he stares into my eyes, once again searching as if trying to see inside of me. Finally, he grins, his hands still entwined in mine above my head, squeezing. He kisses me softly.
I have never taken a guy home before for a one-night stand. I don’t regret my decision to do so tonight...not at all. Maybe it had something to do with letting go of my youth and this was my last hurrah.
He releases my hands and I bring my arms down to wrap around him, returning his kisses eagerly.
"You are insatiable," he chuckles against my lips just before he pushes himself off me to fall onto his back. He quickly removes the condom, wrapping it in tissues from my bedside table before throwing it in the wastebasket next to my bed. I can’t take my eyes off him, the toned muscles rippling and moving under his tattooed skin, as he relaxes onto his back next to me.
I quickly drape myself over him, not wanting to be disconnected. I place my chin on his chest, tugging lightly on the few hairs he has around his nipple, as I stare up at him.
We haven't discussed anything about ourselves and I find myself wondering about him.
"So...,” I venture, “You leave in the morning, huh?"
His eyes come to mine as he nods. I see caution enter his eyes.
I hesitate, not wanting to be clingy, but also wondering if there is a chance he can change his mind, I ask, "No chance of you staying? Even just for a little bit?"
He lets out a sigh, searching my face, probing, making me wonder what he is looking for.
"No. I can't," he answers softly, his hand coming up to my hair, softening his response.
I hold his searching eyes. I don't have anything to hide from him, but I can feel he is hiding something from me.
"So, we only have tonight?" I ask, forcing a lightness into my tone. I feel my heart yearning for something more, but I push it firmly away. I won't let it interfere with tonight.
A little bit of him is better than none, I silently console myself.
He gently brushes his lips over mine as he answers softly, with regret evident in this tone, "Yes."
I feel my eyes sting a little with tears.
Grow up, I silently scold myself. He told you how it would be up front.
"What time in the morning do you have to leave?" I ask in a whisper.
His finger comes up to trace my hair line before trailing down over my cheekbone to my lips, as he responds softly, "I have a flight out of here at 7am."
I nod, unable to speak.
Only a few hours...
How did he get under my skin so quickly? I wonder silently.
I lift my head and scan my eyes over his tattooed chest. I trace the outline of the hawk he has over the right side of his upper chest, before trailing my fingers across his chest, pausing when I can feel the beat of his heart underneath my fingertips.
"Do you live here?" I ask, moving my eyes back to his, already knowing the answer.
He shakes his head, as I knew he would.
Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I ask, "Will you be back here any time soon?"
Again, he shakes his head, holding my gaze as he responds, "Not for another year or more."
I nod. Tears stupidly blurring my eyes, I quickly drop them back to his chest. Leaning down, I place a kiss on his right nipple.
Why did I have to have such a strong connection with someone that can't be a part of my life? My brain silently screams at me
Both his hands come up into my damp hair, the thumb of each finger forcing my chin up so he can look into my eyes as he says softly, "I want to see you again, Cass. I just don't know when."
I nod. A tear sneaks out and he catches it with his thumb.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"No," he says quietly. "No need to be sorry. I feel the same as you."
Seeing the truth in his eyes, I move up and kiss his lips, loving the feeling of his hands in my hair. I sigh into his mouth and then he is sliding his tongue into mine. I love the taste of him.
One of his hands leaves my hair to reach down to pull the leg I have thrown over him higher. I push myself up and over him completely, until I am straddling him. I sit up, watching as his eyes scan my body.
"So beautiful," he says once again, his hands coming up to grasp each of my breasts. He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.
Leaning forward, I kiss him deeply, feeling him stirring underneath me.
Releasing his mouth, I sit up and stare down at him while absorbing the feeling of his hands caressing, molding, and feeling my breasts. I close my eyes and just breathe.
Sighing out shakily, I look down at him again, never feeling as close to anyone as I do to him right now. This man makes me forget myself. Even though I hardly know him, there is an invisible string between us.
I have never been so swept away.
But he will leave me soon.
Leaning forward, I place kisses over his chest, over his heart, wishing for things that I know I can't have.
But for tonight he is mine.
I continue kissing his chest, wanting to remember the taste of his skin. He is now pulsating heavily underneath me. Lifting myself, I look down between my legs, wanting him inside of me so badly.
"Do you have any condoms?" he asks in a whisper.
I keep staring, wanting him for some unexplainable reason inside me with no barrier.
I wrap my hand around him. He's so thick and long. I can feel his throbbing pulse. Slowly I move my hand down his shaft. His breath hisses out.
I probably shouldn't be doing this, but I have only one night with this incredible man.
And I was going to take whatever part of him I could.
Lifting myself further, I hold him at my entrance, waiting for him to stop me, praying that he won't. Slowly I insert the tip, bringing my eyes up to his. His jaw is clenched, his eyes penetrating mine.
I watch him as he watches me, each of us reveling in the feeling of the other as I continue to slowly lower myself. I sigh deeply, contentedly as I sit fully on him, allowing myself to stretch around his thick, long length.
Leaning back, I arch as I place my hands on his upper thighs for leverage to lift and lower myself, my head thrown back at the sheer feeling of him stretching me, of me taking possession of him. His hands come to grasp my ass, assisting in helping me move more rapidly, more deeply, on top of him.
"Cass..." he moans my name and then I feel his breath on my tightened nipple as he sits up. He releases one hand from my ass to cup my breast, his hot mouth latching onto my breast.
I grind myself onto him, wanting to absorb every inch of him into me.
"Fuck..." he pants as he releases my nipple to move to the other.
The hand that is still on my bottom squeezes tighter, tugging me down faster and faster onto his cock.
I lift my head and staring into his eyes, I let myself go, his name coming softly from my lips as I shudder and shake. I feel my orgasm flow through my entire body, causing my toes to curl into the bedding that has become bunched around us. I collapse forward onto him, but he isn't done with me.
He quickly flips us, so I am on the bottom before he is flipping me again, pushing me to my stomach before he roughly grabs my hips, pulling me up until I am on my hands and knees before him.
I barely have time to catch my breath before he is slamming himself back inside of me, rooting himself deep. His thrusts become almost violent, but it only spurs me on as my breasts swing back and forth, my arms threatening to give out.
Leaning over my back, he whispers, "I am going to cum in you."
My womb clenches, my vagina squeezing him at his words, as another orgasm rakes through me. I feel him spurting in me and the feeling our combined liquid causes another quake to flow through me.
I fall forward onto my stomach, with Borden landing on top of me.
We are silent for a few moments before reality seeps in. I feel his body stiffen, his breath catch.
"I hope you are on birth control," he whispers into my ear.
"Yes," I whisper back. I feel him slowly relax.
There are a few moments of silence and then he whispers, "I have never done that before."
I freeze.
"What?" I ask.
"I've never had sex without a condom before."
Stunned, I ask, "Not even with a girlfriend?"
He is quiet before he admits, "I've never had a steady girlfriend."
He pushes himself off me. I lay there, now stunned because this hot guy has unbelievably never had a girlfriend.
Turning onto my back, I look at him sitting on the edge of my bed, the long hair and tattoos screaming the opposite of what I am learning about this man.
"Why have you never had a girlfriend?" I ask quietly.
He sighs as I watch him mull over how to respond to me.
"I travel a lot," is his final response, cautious.
There is something that he doesn't want me to know. I can feel it. I also know he will never tell me.
"Why do you travel so much?" I decide to ask anyway.
His eyes come to me quickly.
"For work," he responds, caution in his tone.
I look him over, wanting to ask more but I sense he won't be open to this line of questioning.
This is a one-night stand, I silently remind myself. We are not here to get to know each other's lives, only to enjoy a mutually satisfying night.
Sitting up, I kiss his shoulder and I feel him relax as his arm comes around me.
"I need to shower. Come with me," he whispers into my hair.
I nod and allow him to pull me to my feet. I show him the way to my bathroom. He gently moves his hands over my body, almost reverently, as he cleans me.
Stepping from the shower, he gently kisses my shoulder as I brush my hair at the sink. I look at him through the mirror and see the remorse in his eyes.
"I have to go," he whispers.
NO! My mind screams, my brush pausing in my strokes. It's too soon.
Instead, I bite my lip, as I hold his eyes.
"Cass..." he sighs, his forehead coming down to rest against my shoulder. I feel his heavy sigh against my skin on my upper back and then he is lifting his head again before turning me to face him. Sliding both of his hands under my jaw, he lifts my face so he can press kisses to my lips.
My heart feels as if it is being torn from my chest. I feel a sob wanting to escape and I can't help myself as my arms go around him, trying to keep him from going.
He pulls me tight, kissing me softly. Then soon, much too soon, he is reaching up to unclasp my clinging arms from around his neck.
I know I have to let go.
I force my arms to remain at my side, instead of turning into the clinging person I don't ever want to be.
He takes my hand and leads me back to my bedroom. I sit on the edge of my bed with only my towel around me, my heart wrenching as I watch him slip his boots and jeans on. I can't fight the silent tear that escapes as he pulls his t-shirt down over his damp hair. He was here with me for such a short time but still managed to touch me deeply.
His gaze comes to my face and I see the torture in his eyes.
"Come here," he whispers, pulling me up to him.
I wrap my arms around him, forcing the sobs back as I cling to him. I inhale his scent, storing it away.
He squeezes me tightly before pushing me back to look into my eyes as he whispers, "I'm so glad I met you Cass. I know it has been much too short but I'd rather this than not having known you at all."
I nod, trying to swallow around the lump. I can't speak.
He takes my hand again before reaching into his pocket for his phone.
Smiling softly at me, he asks in a gently teasing tone, "Can I have your number?"
I swallow again, as I nod.
Focus on what you had for one night, I reiterate over and over in my head.
I take his phone, swallowing thickly, and add my name and number to his contacts. I quickly send a text to my phone so that I have his number as well.
Somberly, I pass his phone back to him.
Then sighing deeply, he leans down, kissing me lightly. I close my eyes, savoring.
My eyes open as he disentangles his hand from mine slowly, our fingertips the last to touch.
And then he is gone.
Like he never existed.
I look back at my bed, the duvet and sheet in disarray is the only evidence of our one night together. I silently wonder if I will ever see him again.
I hear my phone ding in my jeans pocket. Stumbling to them, I bend down and scoop them up, withdrawing my phone.
Borden: The best moment of my life was meeting you.
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