Chapter Fourteen

By noon on Sunday, Wade had done exactly three things: watched Star Trek: Beyond, made a pot of coffee, and gotten up to answer the door. But taking one look at the exasperated expression on his sister’s face made him wish he hadn’t been such an overachiever for the day.

“You’re not even dressed,” Kinsley said in way of greeting.

He glanced down at his pajama bottoms and crumpled white T-shirt. “I’ll get there.” Eventually.

“Well, when you do, pick up a toothbrush while you’re at it.”

“What are you doing here?” he grumbled.

Kinsley glared at him. “Why, thank you. I’d love to come in,” she said, slamming the door closed behind her.

Roxy happily trotted over to her and immediately flopped on her back, so his sister could rub her stomach. It killed him that his dog was going about her life as happy as could be while he could barely function.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he told her.

Kinsley looked up from petting his dog and frowned. “Jane told me you didn’t go into work Friday or Saturday. I thought I’d make sure everything was okay.”

He spread out his arms. “Well, as you can see I’m in perfect health. Just fine.” At least that’s what he kept telling himself. Except, he just hadn’t felt like doing much lately. Hadn’t felt like going to work, or eating, or even showering. Now that he thought about it, his sleep had been crap, too.

She scrunched her nose. “You’re not okay from my perspective. You look terrible.” She leaned in and sniffed. “For one, you stink.” She stood and gazed around the room with a sharp eye. “And this place is a mess. You should hire a housekeeper.”

“Okay, Nagatha Christie, any other problems you want to point out while you’re on this roll?”

She shrugged out of her winter coat and hung it up, looking as if she planned on staying awhile. “Yes, actually,” she said. “There is one other problem.”

He sighed. “And that is?”

“Arden.”

He suddenly couldn’t breathe. He turned away and walked into the kitchen. “Mind your own business, Kins.”

“No, I won’t mind my own business. When I was having problems with Damon, you were the one who told me that butting into each other’s lives is part of the unwritten yet binding contract between family members.”

“Well, I was wrong.” He took a gulp of coffee. It burned going down, which suited him perfectly. “This isn’t your problem.”

“It becomes my problem when it affects me, too.” She grabbed hold of his arm, forcing him to look at her. “Wade, I warned you about this. Now tell me what happened with Arden. Please?”

He hesitated. His heart raced just thinking about it. “She told me she loved me. But I can’t do love again, Kinsley. I told her that. She knew the deal.”

She gave him a pitying look. “You’re kidding yourself if you thought simply telling a person not to fall in love with you would stop her from falling in love with you. The heart wants what it wants whether we like it or not. Whether we get hurt or not.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“Well, you did. But at least you had the decency to let her down before her actual wedding day.”

He winced, remembering what Arden had told him about her relationship with her ex, Colin. The last thing he wanted was to be compared to someone like that.

Kinsley sighed. “Look, don’t worry about Arden. She’s tough and smart and beautiful. I’m sure there’s a good chance she’ll meet someone else while she’s in New York.”

The thought of Arden with another man made him want to punch the wall. “You really think she’ll have time to meet someone while she’s there?”

Kinsley shrugged. “Look at me and Damon. Most times you meet someone when you’re not looking. Plus, Arden is the whole package. Of course someone will snatch her up.” She cocked her head and studied him a moment. “Are you okay? Maybe you should have some juice or something. You’re pale. Maybe your blood sugar is low.”

“My blood sugar is just fine,” he snapped.

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, something is obviously bothering you. Perhaps you’re shaken up over Arden leaving. You were friends before you started dating her. It’s okay to admit you care about her.”

“Of course I care. I care a lot.” He ran a hand over the top of his head, thinking about what he’d said to her and how they’d left things. There had been a heavy feeling in his stomach ever since. “All that doesn’t matter now. She’s leaving me. She’s leaving for New York today, and I have dinner at Miranda’s parents’ tonight. Like Cinderella, the clock struck midnight and everything went back to how it was before our deal.”

“Not everything went back to how it was before, though, did it?”

He rubbed a hand over his unshaven face. “No. It didn’t. And it’s killing me. I want to call or text her and I can’t. She hasn’t even left for New York and I miss her already.”

“Why don’t you go over to her place and tell her that?”

“Because she doesn’t want to be friends anymore and that’s all I can give her. Besides, I promised the Burkes I’d go to their place tonight.”

Kinsley shook her head. “For Pete’s sake, for a semi-intelligent guy, you’re awfully dumb.”

“What do you mean semi-intelligent?”

She huffed out a breath. “I mean nothing. I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.” She gave Roxy another pat on the head, then grabbed her coat. “I can’t stand to see you hiding behind Miranda’s parents for the rest of your life.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not hiding behind them.” Am I?

“Yeah, you are, Wade. Arden told me you couldn’t go to that wedding with her last week because you couldn’t miss dinner with them.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, so? They needed me.”

“Other people need you, too. Arden needs you.”

“She doesn’t need me anymore. She signed her big-name client. And now she’ll leave for New York and probably sign more big clients. The Burkes count on me every week. They count on me so we don’t forget about Miranda.”

“Aww, Wade. You don’t need to keep doing errands and odd jobs for them to remember Miranda. She’ll always be in your heart. But I don’t think you’ll ever be able to move on unless you let them move on, too.”

“I don’t know…”

“Are you going over to their house for dinner tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to go?”

He hesitated as guilt swamped him. “I promised.”

She sighed. “You know, I used to feel sorry for Miranda because she died young and missed out on so much in life. But I was wrong. Now, I can see you’re the one I should feel sorry for.”

He stared at her. “Why me?”

“Because when she died, you put yourself in that coffin with her and closed yourself off to any kind of future commitment with another woman. To a wonderful woman, I might add. Since Miranda’s death, I’ve never seen you so happy as these past few weeks with Arden. Your life seemed…full. But now you’ve closed yourself off to someone who loves you, and who I think you could love back.” She pulled her coat on. About to the reach for the doorknob, she turned back one last time. “All I’m trying to say is that Miranda had no choice with her life. But you still have one.”

Kinsley reached into her coat pocket and then tossed him a ring box. “Arden left this morning for New York, so she wanted me to return Mom’s ring to you. At least it got some use,” she murmured on her way out.

The door slammed. Roxy stared at it, then immediately lay down at Wade’s feet and whined. “I know, girl,” he said, bending and stroking her back. “I seem to be pushing everyone away lately.”

Was that really what he’d been doing, pushing people away? Pushing Arden away to protect his heart? Well, that didn’t exactly work out, because his heart had never felt more beaten and battered in his life.

You’ve closed yourself off to someone who loves you, and who I think you could love back.

Arden was a wonderful, bright, and funny woman. Any man would be lucky to have someone like that in his life. A woman who enjoyed watching Doctor Who. A successful business owner who didn’t mind his messy condo, who loved his dog as unconditionally as he did, and who obsessed over pineapple and all things the color pink. Someone who was able to make him smile with her snarky comments…

Maybe Kinsley was right. Arden was exactly the kind of woman he could love back.

In fact, he knew he could because he already did love her back. He loved her. He was full-on 100 percent in love with Arden Pearson.

He let out a curse, causing Roxy to jump up and run into the other room. Damn, he should have seen the signs. He thought he’d been so smart. Thought things would be safer for him alone, if he left her house and let her go away.

Boy, I really am dumb.

Because he had ruined everything with Arden—their friendship and their love. He needed to fix this. Show her that things were now different. Knowing what he had to do next, he picked up his cell phone and dialed.

Miranda’s mom, Sarah Burke, picked up on the second ring. “Hello,” she answered.

“Hi, Mom, it’s me, Wade. Um, look, I wanted to tell you I won’t be able to come to dinner tonight.”

There was a pause.

“Wait. You won’t be coming to dinner?”

“No, I’m sorry. Something really important has come up. In fact, it’s probably going to keep coming up. Indefinitely.”

“Oh my goodness. So you’re saying you won’t be coming to family dinners anymore?” she asked carefully. “Are you sure?”

Wade didn’t want to hurt her, but he knew it was the right thing to do. He had a life to lead and a future to have. With Arden. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Oh thank God,” Sarah breathed.

He blinked. What the—?

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Wade, because we love you dearly and always will, but I’m so glad to hear you say this.”

“You are? Why didn’t you say anything to me before?”

“Dad and I didn’t want to push you. We felt you’d know when the time was right to go and start your life again.”

He smiled into the phone, his heart lifting a fraction with each passing second. “Yeah, it finally does feel right. I’ve met someone.”

“I’m glad for you, dear. You are a lovely young man. More than anything, Miranda would have wanted to see you find and grab onto happiness once again.”

“Thanks, Mom. I think I have found it.” His next plan was to grab that happiness and then hold onto it for as long as he could. This was the first step of many in convincing Arden he was ready to commit to her.

He only hoped it would be enough.

…

Arden adjusted her bridesmaid dress, then checked “cake cutting” off her checklist.

Her assistant Maggie reached around her and yanked the clipboard from her hands. “I’ve got the rest from here, boss,” she told Arden. “Please go and enjoy Kinsley’s wedding.”

Arden wanted to laugh out loud. Enjoy? Enjoy? How could she when every time she turned around, Wade was in her line of vision? Once her good friend and now she could barely string a sentence together around him. It didn’t help matters that he looked like sin on a stick in that black tuxedo he was wearing.

“Go. You haven’t danced with that handsome fiancé of yours tonight,” Maggie added with a nudge of her shoulder.

Arden bit back a groan. Everyone in town still thought she and Wade were engaged, despite her crappy acting abilities tonight. But it was easy to avoid him through the pretense of work.

“That’s right. She hasn’t danced with her fiancé,” a deep voice said behind her.

Arden spun around and met his gaze. Her throat tightened at the sight of him so close, but it was nothing compared to the pain in her chest.

Wade held out his hand. “Dance with me?”

Arden had no choice. She could hardly refuse in front of her assistant. It was his sister’s wedding and by mutual agreement, she still technically was fake engaged to him. “Sure,” she said, placing her hand in his.

They found a spot on the far end of the dance floor and he took her in his arms. Arden was glad they were close to the band. It drowned out the thundering in her chest.

“You know we’re still engaged,” he told her. “You could smile.”

“And you could stop stepping on my foot.”

He chuckled, pulling her closer to his body. “Then we’ll just have to sway.”

She felt the tips of his fingers brush across her back, lingering over her exposed skin. A shiver of awareness ran through her. He made her feel treasured—fragile—even though deep down inside she knew she was neither to him. After a few brief moments of being held tightly in his arms, she thought she was going to die. It only served to remind her of everything she’d lost. Everything she could never have. This should have been one of the best nights of her life. Her best friend getting married, her planning the wedding and then getting to spend the rest of the night hanging out with Wade. Instead, she was counting down the minutes until the band called last song.

When one of the groomsmen swatted Wade on the back, telling them, “Your day will come soon,” she had had enough.

“So how do you want to do this?” she finally asked him.

“Do what?”

“How do you want me to break up with you?”

“Easy. I don’t.”

Her heart skipped a beat and she swallowed. “What? But that was part of the deal. I fake break up with you after tonight.”

Wade stopped dancing and peered down at her. “I don’t want to fake break up with you at all. In fact, I want to get back together. For real.”

Some of the couples dancing nearby turned their attention to them and slowly began to stop moving. Arden glanced around, then pasted on a fake smile. “Wade, now isn’t the time,” she whispered.

“I disagree. It’s the perfect time,” he said, taking a ring box out of his tuxedo pocket.

A hush and then murmurs echoed around them.

She covered the box with her hand. “Are you out of your mind?” she asked in muted tone.

“Yes. Yes, I am out of my mind. Have been ever since you left for New York. Arden, I’ve missed you.”

When she met his gaze again, his eyes had grown so tender her throat clogged. Then she heard Judy Tavish let out a loud awww from the back of the room, and she grabbed Wade’s arm, dragging him off the dance floor and out into the hallway.

“Wade, I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but you’re completely going off script. This wasn’t our deal at all.”

His hands went on her arms, gliding up her shoulders before settling on her face. “That’s because I’ve come up with a new one. Arden Pearson, I love you.”

“What?” She gripped his wrists and stared back at him, wondering if she heard him correctly. “But you said—”

“I know exactly what I said about not wanting love, not wanting to commit to anyone ever again. And I meant every word when I said it. But I was wrong. I’ve had some time over the last few weeks to realize that what I really want is you—for however long we’re on this earth.”

“Don’t do this because you want to save our friendship.”

“It has nothing to do with friendship.” He shook his head. “Actually, it does. My feelings have everything to do with friendship. But also attraction, and sex, and love. Real I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you love.”

Her eyes began to flood, and his thumb swiped over a few tears she hadn’t realized she’d shed. “Are you sure?” she asked.

“I’ve never been more certain. I love you. I think I’ve always been sure, and that’s why it scared me to admit it. I thought that if I was in a short-term relationship, I would never form any attachment and my heart would always be protected. I felt if I had the constant reminders about Miranda and went to dinner at her parents’, I wouldn’t be able to give my heart to another. But that logic didn’t work when it came to you. You brought spunk and color back into my life again.”

“You mean I brought the color pink back into your life,” she added with a wobbly laugh.

He grinned. “Yeah, mostly the color pink, but I’m confident enough in my masculinity to tell you I have a whole new appreciation for it, because it makes me think of you. And believe me, I tried not to think of you while you’ve been away, but it was no use.”

She cracked a smile. “Is that why you look so rumpled and exhausted?” And sexy as hell.

“Kinsley told me the exact same thing.”

“Your sister is an observant woman.”

“Yeah, she is,” he said with a quiet intensity. “She helped me realize what an idiot I’ve been, hiding from my feelings.”

She lifted her hand to touch his cheek. “I know you did it because you were afraid of getting hurt again.”

“I don’t want to hide them anymore. I want you to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see every night. I love you the way I never thought I could love anyone again.”

Her throat thickened. She stared into his eyes, hardly able to believe she was hearing him speak those words.

“And I just want you to know,” he continued, “that I don’t expect you to come home from New York now. I want you to do whatever you need to do for your business and stay as long as you like. I know how important it is to you. Besides, I’ll come up on the weekends and visit. But only if you want me to.”

She laughed, her head still spinning. “Of course I want you to! I would love that. I love you.”

His mouth came down on hers and he kissed her long and deep. When he finally lifted his head again, it felt as if they’d kissed forever. “Will you wear the engagement ring again?” he asked huskily. “But for real, this time.”

“Yes. Absolutely.” She grinned as he lifted the ring from the box and slid it back on her finger.

“I don’t want to wait,” he said, showering a trail of kisses along her face. “I want us to be married as soon as possible. When you get back from New York next week.”

She couldn’t answer. It was like a dream. She was so happy her emotions momentarily clogged her throat.

Brows furrowed, Wade pulled back to look at her face. “Hey, is that okay with you?”

She chuckled. “Yes, that shouldn’t be a problem at all,” she said, sliding her arms around his neck. “Lucky for you, I happen to know a darn good wedding planner.”