Chapter Twenty-One

 

My father was in the driveway. The garden hose coiled near his feet like a long snake. He took a large soapy sponge out of the yellow bucket of water next to the hose and started wiping down the side of his SUV. "Another drawback to having this car is that it takes forever to wash," he said as we got out of my car.

"What was the first drawback?" Eve asked.

"The gas mileage." He reached up as far as he could to try to wipe the center of the roof. No matter how much time and hassle it would've saved him, my father would've never considered taking it to a car wash. He was too cheap for that. "Where've you been? It's nearly dark."

The sun was beginning to set in the sky. "I just took them out to see the sights." I hated lying to my father.

"What sights?" He dropped the sponge into the soapy water in the bucket and stood with his hands on his hips looking suspicious.

"I can wash that for you." Koji stepped forward and took the sponge out of the bucket.

"If you have another sponge or a rag, I can help too," Eve said.

"What about you?" My father turned to me.

"I think I'm going to take a walk. I need to be alone for a minute," I said.

"Don't be too long. It'll be dark soon and we're going out for dinner tonight." He put his hand up over his eyes to shield them from the setting sun. "I'll get a rag from the house for you," he said to Eve. He turned around and went up the porch stairs.

"Are you okay?" Koji asked me.

"Yeah. Just with all that's happened, I need some time to process, you know?"

"I know," Eve said. She swatted a mosquito from her arm.

"I won't be long, just a walk around the block."

I started down the street before my father came back out with the rag. The sun had an orange glow that made the color of everything seem a little brighter--the grass, the neighbor's pink house. The street hadn't changed much since I lived there. The houses were still the same. It even seemed like many of them were still owned by the same people. I waved at Mrs. Daniels taking her dog in from its walk, and she waved back at me like she had seen me every day. The dog even looked like the same dog she'd always had. It hobbled along on stiff legs that struggled to carry its fat body. The only thing that seemed to have changed was me. I was more myself somehow.

I heard the muted ring of my phone coming from my pocket. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. It was Tom, of course. "Hello, Tom."

"So?"

"So what?"

"How's it feel to know the truth?"

I smiled and let a burst of air escape my nose.

"Well?"

"Good, but why did you make such a big deal about me not opening it until I got here. I mean, if I was going to see what was in it anyway?"

"You had to wait for the right time, when you were with the right people."

"That's kind of the way Prophetess and Ed explained it too." I rounded the corner. A strip of orange light appeared along the horizon as the sun started its descent.

"The question is, what are you going to do with it now?"

"That's a good question. I guess I need some time to think about it."

"Most people do."

"What are they going to do with that thing?"

"They'll use it to help people. Ed's a counselor and Prophetess is a minister of sorts."

"Good." I chewed on a fingernail.

"Are you coming back here or do you want me to send the rest of your money to you somewhere?"

"I'll be back." I picked up my pace a little.

"Good. I'll see you then."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." Tom hung up.

I looked at the screen for a moment before snapping my phone closed.

A buckeye lilted in the air in front of me. I remembered catching them as a child. There were always so many buckeyes in our neighborhood. They were the least colorful of the butterflies. I'd catch them in my hands and then put them in a box. They'd soon die, their wings damaged by my greasy fingers. I kept the dead ones and before I knew it I had a whole collection of buckeyes of all sizes. My mother used to encourage me to catch something more colorful, like a monarch or a swallowtail, but I preferred the buckeyes.

This buckeye flitted ahead of me like it wanted me to follow it somewhere. Its dusty, brownish wings looked like they had been faded by the sun. It stayed in my path for a while and then flew off in the direction of the sun. I watched it flying away until I couldn't see it anymore.

**

We left for California the next day, despite my parents' pleading for me to stay. I couldn't. The life I had made for myself was far away from them.

The drive back seemed shorter. We drove straight through. We took turns driving, sleeping, and keeping the person who was driving company. We ate fast food in the car. Eve complained about this profusely. She got salads at most every place we stopped, but a prepackaged salad from a burger joint was just not good enough for her. She had to get used to it though. I had been away for too long and wanted to shorten the trip as much as possible. It helped that Koji was on my side too.

Koji had taken to chewing gum to lessen his craving for cigarettes. He'd buy several packs of gum every time we stopped to buy gas. While I did find all of the chewing annoying, I knew it was better than smoking, so I didn't say anything.

I felt sick and fat and oily when we finally got back to San Diego. We all did.

As soon as I got home, I pulled my paints and brushes out of the closet. I found a few old canvases that I'd tucked away in the back of the pantry and set up my easel. When you haven't done something in a long time it can be hard to get back into it. That's to be expected, but it was as if I couldn't get the paint down fast enough. My first painting was a buckeye's wing. The browns and oranges flowed onto the canvas so easily. The shapes and patterns where already there. I only needed to make them visible to everyone else. I was painting when Tom came around to pay me the rest of the money.

I knew he was coming, so I'd unlocked my door before he arrived. "Come in," I yelled when I heard him knock. I put my brush down and turned in my chair so I'd be facing him when he came in.

He seemed bigger than he did before I left for the trip. He was dressed nicely, like he was coming from work, in black slacks and a blue and white striped button down shirt. He was carrying a manila envelope. "You paint?" He nodded toward the canvas.

"Yep."

He came closer to get a better look. "Wow. That's good." Taking his attention from my painting, he turned to me. "Have you changed for the better?"

"I guess."

"I hope so."

"Is that supposed to mean you didn't think I was good before?"

"No. I just thought you could do better."

"Um." I wondered what that meant exactly. "Have a seat." I motioned toward the sofa.

"No, thanks. I'm in a bit of a hurry."

"Before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Where'd you get that thing ... that sphere we delivered?" I didn't think he would really answer me, but I thought it was worth a try.

Tom rubbed his cheek absent-mindedly. "Sometimes when you really need something, you stumble across it, or it just falls into your hands ... like fate."

"Fate ..." I nodded. Until now I hadn't believed in it, but I was starting to.

"Anyway, you did good. Here's the rest of the money." He held the envelope out to me.

"Just put it over there." I pointed to the end table.

"Don't you want to count it?"

"Nah. I trust you."

"Good." Tom laughed. "I have to get going."

"Okay. I guess I'll see you around."

His black hard-soled shoes clicked on the wooden floor. He gave a shy wave and closed the door gently as he left.

**

Eve didn't stay in San Diego long once we got back. "I think I'm going to move back in with my folks." She put a piece of blue corn pancake into her mouth. The restaurant was more crowded than usual. Waiters buzzed around us.

"What?" I was shocked, considering how badly she didn't want to see her parents when we were driving cross-country. "Why?"

"I can learn a lot from them ..." She paused to push some food around on her plate. "... especially my dad. I enrolled in a massage school down there. I think I'll be able to help a lot of people. I'll get a job. Possibly use some of my money to take voice lessons and learn to play the guitar. If I want to be serious about it, I really should take lessons. Right?"

"Yeah. It sounds like a plan. It would definitely be good for you to go to school."

"I know."

 

Eve left the following week. Koji and I helped her pack up her things. She sold most of her stuff. "I just want to get a fresh start," she said. "I could be so much more. I just need to step up and take responsibility for myself. I need to stop being afraid to try."

**

Koji left too, but that was easier to predict--Koji being Koji. The last I heard from him he was moving to Bern, Switzerland. He thought he would be able to pick up German pretty fast. He also said something about becoming a triathlete. "I love to run and I'm an excellent swimmer." He put a piece of chewing gum in his mouth. The running was new to me, but I had witnessed the excellent swimming in Alabama, so I knew that was right.

"All you have to do is buy a bike," I said.

"And learn how to ride it." He winked.