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What am I doing? That question kept going round and round in David’s head as he walked down the sidewalk, away from Mac. It was as if all the anger that had been building up inside of him while they were in that stupid waiting room evaporated the moment he stepped outside.
Yet, instead of turning around and begging Mac to forgive him, David kept moving further and further away. As much as he didn’t want to lose Mac, David feared it might be too late.
Tears had been falling for most of his walk and people stared at him, but avoided him. Not that he could blame them, David was sure he looked like Frankenstein’s monster by that point. Three days of barely any sleep on a hospital cot, with no proper shower or place to fix his hair and makeup had left David’s hair a lifeless mess. As far as his makeup, he’d washed it off two days ago, when it started to smudge.
The people he passed probably thought he was on death’s door and didn’t want to get too close in case they got dragged in with him.
Finding a small, quiet park, David sat down on a bench near a small garden. As he stared at the pretty design of colors, he found himself missing his own haphazard garden of wildflowers. The same ones he and Macalister had been staring at when they’d gotten the call about his father.
A sob broke from inside of him and the tears flowed in earnest. He didn’t think he was going to make it without Macalister. David just didn’t know how to fix it.
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he called Shine on Facetime. He needed to see a friendly face right then, not just hear his voice.
Except when Shine picked up, it only caused David to miss home even more.
“Boy, what in the hell happened to you?” Shine exclaimed the moment he saw David. “It looks like you didn’t just get hit with the ugly stick, you got whooped by the whole forest.”
Leave it to Shine to hold nothing back. “Thanks.”
“Seriously.” Shine’s voice lowered. “You look about as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. Whose ass do I need to come up there and kick?”
Why did he call Shine? “You know there is such a thing as too much honesty,” David told him. “Telling me I look like hell when I just broke up with Mac isn’t helping.”
“Have you lost your cotton pickin’ mind?” Shine yelled.
“I’m with Shine on this one.” Andy was suddenly on the screen next to Shine. “Why would you ever break up with Macalister? That man thinks the sun rises and sets on your sorry ass.”
“Hey. You’re supposed to be cheering me up.” Why David had them as friends, he would never know. Other than drinking, they sure didn’t seem to ever know how to help.
“Okay, fine. What happened?” Shine asked.
David told them about the hell of the past three days. When he was done, he expected them to admit David was right to leave. That he had done the only thing he could. And even though it hurt, it was for the best and he would eventually get over Mac and move on to find someone even better.
“Sounds to me like you got your feathers ruffled and instead of thinking things through, you went off half-cocked.” Even with his stupid sayings, Shine had a way of cutting through the bullshit. “Clearly, you’re regretting leaving Macalister, so I suggest you dry those crocodile tears and get your ass where it belongs, back in the hospital by Macalister’s side, doing what a good boyfriend should be doing, supporting his man.”
Then Shine disappeared and Andy was on the screen. “That you are forcing me to agree with Shine twice in one day isn’t appreciated, but he is right. Although, I would recommend finding a hotel where you can shower and clean up a bit, because you look like crap.”
Once more, David was questioning his sanity for having these two as his best friends. With friends like them, he didn’t need any enemies, that was for sure.
They must have seen the stubborn resolve to not listen to them on David’s face, for Shine took back the phone. “Don’t make me come up there and kick sense back into your stupid ass. I’ve known you far too long not to know how happy you are with Macalister. You love that man and I think even you realize the mistake you made by walking away.”
The thing was, Shine was right. David just didn’t know how to make it better. He’d walked away from Mac when he’d needed David the most. Why would Mac ever forgive him for that?
“It’s time to put on your big boy britches and face this head on,” Shine told him. “Although, Andrew is right, maybe you could find a way to get cleaned up first because...damn, you look rough.”
“Was that really necessary to say?” Andrew chastised Shine.
“Did you see what he looks like?” Shine shot back.
“Of course, which was why I suggested him taking a shower, but you don’t have to tell him he looks like he’s been run over by a truck,” Andy countered.
“Uh, guys. You do know I’m still here, right?” But their words no longer hurt. He knew they were right. David did look rough, which was why he’d avoided the mirror when he went to the bathroom earlier that day. He just wasn’t the kind of person who could go without a shower every day.
It took time for him to look good and with Mac seeming to always need David by his side...”I am such an idiot.”
“Yep,” Andy said as Shine said, “Damn straight.”
“I gotta go.” David hung up without waiting for their replies.
Maybe Mac had been acting different around his family, but he’d also been holding onto David like a lifeline, but David had been too self-absorbed to see it. Mac had needed him and instead of being there, supporting him, David had just walked away. He may have screwed things up, but he was going to find a way to make things right, because there was no way he was letting Mac go without a fight.
First, he needed to take his friends’ advice and get cleaned up. Even though they hadn’t spent any time there, he and Mac had gotten a hotel room near the hospital. They had only used it that first night.
After only two hours of sleep, they had gotten a call from the hospital telling them they had to rush Mac’s father in for emergency surgery as he was starting to show signs of another heart attack. It was imperative they get the bypass done, for most likely he wouldn’t survive another heart attack.
After that, they hadn’t even bothered to return to the hotel. Even after the surgery, Mr. Whitmore had been in critical condition and Mac feared he would die and miss his chance to say goodbye if he left the hospital.
Heading for that hotel room, David was determined to give himself the boost he needed to face not just Mac, but the man’s family. It was time he got the love of his life back. The caring, loving, and funny man he’d fallen in love with instead of the cold, reserved one that sat in a family waiting room with a mother who constantly criticized and a brother who only seemed to know how to make snide comments.
Mac needed David and he was going to be there for him. Because Mac was the man he planned on spending the rest of his life with, even if he had to smack Mac upside the head to get him to feel something.
