DESIRE
SEX IS NOT an automatic process for animals, although you’d be forgiven if after reading scientific papers on “mating,” you concluded that it is an act completely devoid of emotion. Hormones feature, and they trigger instinctive behaviors that animals are incapable of resisting. But is it any different for people? I just have to think back to the couple I came across years ago in the woods. All I wanted to do was to check out whose car was parked in the undergrowth, when two beet-red faces appeared from behind the hood. I knew both the man and the woman. They came from neighboring villages and at the time were married to different partners (and they still are). They quickly adjusted their clothing, climbed into their cars without saying a word, and disappeared. Clearly, they didn’t want to risk their marriages and therefore had chosen a supposedly secluded spot for sex. Even though there was naturally still a risk of dire consequences for their personal lives, both of them had succumbed to desire. I think this is a good example of how we, too, are at the mercy of our instincts.
The trigger for such behavior is a cocktail of hormones that gives rise to feelings of exquisite satisfaction and joy. Why is that even necessary? If living beings are supposed to mate, they could mate as instinctively as they breathe. After all, our bodies don’t release supplements of drug-like substances to trigger every breath. Mating is special because during copulation all species abandon themselves to a state of helplessness. Some animals are sadomasochistic, such as snails, which ram chalky darts into each other’s body to stimulate their partner. Male peacocks and grouse attract their hen’s attention with a fan of erect tail feathers before jumping on her. Insect couples hitch aerial piggyback rides, while male toads in the raptures of love clamp down on their female underwater. Sometimes multiple males pile up on top of one another and don’t let go, holding the female down for so long that she drowns.
Goats behave in many ways like deer, and every year in late summer, we observe a somewhat more elaborate ritual. At that time of year, our billy goat, Vito, turns into a monster of stink. To please the ladies, he perfumes his face and forelegs with a very special fragrance: his own urine. And he doesn’t just spray the yellow liquid onto his skin; he also sprays it into his mouth. What would make us gag obviously doesn’t fail to have the desired effect on the female goats. They rub their heads over his coat to absorb the smell. This clearly stimulates hormone production in all involved, and the fires of desire are lit. The billy goat keeps testing with his nose to see if one of the does is ready to let him in. He does this by driving her around the pasture while bleating with his tongue hanging out, which actually looks a bit ridiculous. If the lady of his dreams stands her ground and squats to pee, he shoves his nose into the stream. Then he snorts and curls back his upper lip to check her hormone levels to see if this will be his lucky day. After many days of testing, the does finally allow Vito a few seconds of bliss.
Let’s get back to the question of why there has to be any sort of hormone-fueled emotional reward. The backstory is that mating is dangerous. The prelude to mating, when males often draw attention to themselves, doesn’t just attract females. No, indeed. Hungry predators are also grateful for an eye- or ear-catching sign pointing the way to a tasty meal. And quite a few males of many different species do, in fact, step off their woodland stage directly into the stomach of a bird or a fox. The actual act of mating is even more dangerous. While it’s going on, both participants are pressed tightly together for a few seconds and sometimes even for many minutes and are hardly in a position to flee from an attack.
We don’t know if animals make the connection between mating and offspring, yet what other reason could there be for them take this risk? Only one comes to mind: the strong, addictive feeling of orgasm that causes them to throw caution to the wind and abandon themselves to pleasure. And therefore I believe, without a doubt, that animals experience intense emotions when they have sex. And there is another strong indicator that this is so. Quite a few animals have been observed pleasuring themselves. Deer, horses, wild cats, or brown bears—all have been seen either laying a hand (that is to say a paw) on themselves or taking advantage of natural aids such as tree trunks. Unfortunately, there are not many reports, let alone any research, on the subject, perhaps because masturbation is considered taboo.