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Amy felt the tears welling in her eyes as she hastily shoved her keys in the front lock. She jiggled them around while balancing the groceries in her arms, and then nudged the door open with her knee when the doorknob finally turned.
She’d been expecting to run into Jason at some point but hadn’t considered she’d be forced to get out of the car and unload her things while he and his son stood there and watched. It was humiliating, really. He had a life already, filled with plenty of people and plans for the future, and there was certainly no room for her in it.
Not when he’d never mentioned his child to her in the first place.
Carrying her groceries into the kitchen, Amy thought back to the summer, when she and Ben had just begun dating. God, she had noticed Ben for years, always wanting to be around him with his charisma, good looks, and charm. After just watching from the sidelines as he dated girl after girl, he’d taken notice in her when he returned to town last spring. When they’d finally gotten together it had been like a dream come true.
Then out of nowhere, she’d discovered she was pregnant. She and Ben both had been nervously excited. She was on birth control pills but there’d been that one time she’d forgotten to bring them on a weekend away, and they hadn’t been able to stop themselves. That was all it had taken, and in an instant she’d been planning a life revolving around her child.
When she’d lost the baby a month later and found out she could never have children, it had been devastating. They hadn’t told anyone that she was pregnant, and just like that they’d kept the loss a secret as well. She’d broken up with Ben shortly after that, unable to deal with the heartache. Ben moved on with his new girlfriend, now fiancée, perhaps trying to heal in his own way.
That Jason had a son didn’t bother her as much as that he’d kept it a secret. And then when he’d said she wouldn’t understand until she had a child of her own was like a dagger straight through her heart.
She sighed, tossing some of the pre-packaged cookies she’d bought onto the counter. She hadn’t meant to blurt out that particular piece of knowledge to Jason. Hell, even her best friends didn’t know. But there had been such a raw anger rushing through her at the moment, she’d wanted to say something, anything, to make him understand the hurt.
And now it looked like Jason had won whatever custody battle he’d been fighting with his ex-wife since his son was visiting. It’s not like she was about to move away, so she’d just have to get used to it.
Suck it up and watch the man she’d slept with having fun with his son.
It was a one-night-stand. A mistake. Not the start of a relationship. It didn’t mean anything.
In the meantime, she only had a couple of hours to get ready for her friends to arrive. She was throwing a tree-trimming party this afternoon, and she still hadn’t even gotten her tree up yet. Although picking out a fresh tree sounded appealing, she had an artificial one in the basement that would just have to do for this year.
On second thought, maybe she could turn her tree-trimming party into a tree-assembling party as well. Since the guys would be here with her friends, she figured Nick and Aaron could help her lug it upstairs to the living room. She still needed to shower and change and then get snacks and drinks ready for her friends. Maybe putting on a little Christmas music would get her more in the mood.
She walked over to her mp3 player and turned it on, hearing the strains of a Christmas tune just ending. She’d had her playlist set to holiday music all week, attempting to cheer herself up. It wasn’t the same though without Christmas decorations filling her home.
This afternoon with friends was just what she needed. A few decorations, some music, drinks, and the scent of spiced cider filling her home might be just what she needed to get back in the holiday spirit.
***
“Hey!” Jason called out as Amy’s friend got out of her car later that afternoon. The wind whipped through the air, and she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to stay warm. “Hey, Red!” he shouted more loudly.
She turned in the direction of his voice, a puzzled expression on her face. Her eyes narrowed and she put both hands on her hips as he jogged across the street toward her.
“Red?” she asked accusingly as he got closer.
“Yeah, sorry,” he said as he came to a stop in front of her. “I don’t know your name; that’s just how I think of you.”
“So you think about me and not...say...Amy? And it’s Melissa, by the way.”
Jason smiled, shaking his head. Obviously, Amy had told her friends what had happened, and they weren’t going to make it easy for him. “Not in the way you’re thinking of, honey.”
She laughed and then seemed to remember that she was angry with him. “So why are you running across the street to see me? Amy lives right there.”
“I need your help,” he admitted.
“And I would help you because...?”
“Because I hurt Amy. I didn’t mean to, and I just need to talk to her to apologize and explain myself. Even if she doesn’t want to see me again, don’t I at least owe her that?”
Melissa tilted her head to the side as she appraised him, “Look, I don’t know if it would make any difference. As far as I know, she thinks you’re a total jackass.”
Jason winced at that, knowing that Amy had every right to be angry with him. Melissa seemed to take pleasure in passing on that particular bit of news to him, but he realized she was upset for her friend’s sake.
“Look, just put in a good word for me if you can. Please tell her that I would love a chance to explain myself. Yes, my son Brian is here for two weeks, as you can see,” he said, gesturing toward his house, where Brian was watching from behind the glass storm door. “But if you could at least ask her to answer the phone when I call.... I don’t want to keep bothering her, but I can’t stand knowing I’ve upset her this much.”
Melissa considered his plea. “All right—I’ll try,” she said shortly. “I can’t promise anything though.”
“Thank you,” Jason said, nodding appreciatively. “And please, just tell her that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen the way that it did.”
“Okay,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll see what I can do.”
She turned back to her car and retrieved her purse and a bag teeming with garland, ornaments, and tinsel. He eyed the bag questioningly. “Tree-trimming party,” she explained. “Amy loves Christmas.”
He nodded, an idea suddenly coming to him. “Good to know. Thanks again for your help,” he said, turning away. He jogged back across the street and pulled open the door, scooping up Brian into his arms. Even if she didn’t want to see him again, he wanted to apologize. Make it right. And beg her to give him another chance.
***
“Like this?” Nick asked an hour later, trying to arrange the lights according to Amy and Beth’s direction.
“No, you’re missing that whole section,” Beth protested with a laugh. She good-naturedly tossed a strand of garland at him that was waiting to be hung next, and he easily snatched it out of the air.
“Hey! You’re teaching the girls how to misbehave!” Kara chided. She and Aaron were sitting side-by-side on Amy’s sofa, feeding each baby a bottle.
“I don’t know that they’ll remember this,” Amy said with a laugh. “Now, when they’re toddlers though, that’ll be a whole other story.”
“We won’t bring them to a tree-trimming party then,” Kara said. “They’ll break everything!”
Amy shook her head and laughed. The tree was standing in her living room, the boxes of ornaments were scattered about, and her friends filled the room with easy banter and laughs. She hadn’t had this much fun in a while. Actually, the last time she’d enjoyed herself so much was that Saturday with Jason—before all hell had broken loose the next morning. As mad as she was, she actually missed him, she realized. It’s too bad he’d turned out to be such a jerk.
She was a distraction from the rest of his life?
Whatever.
“What are you smiling about?” Melissa asked, nudging her as she appeared with two mugs of spiked eggnog.
“Truth be told? I was wishing Jason hadn’t turned out to be such a jerk.”
“He came over to see me on my way in here.”
“What?” Amy asked, practically spitting her eggnog back out.
“Don’t care, huh?” Melissa asked with a laugh. “Now Michael was the real jackass this year. We were engaged to be married, and he completely broke my heart. Jason may have bumbled around in the way he did things, and he should have told you about his son. But he cares about you. And apparently, he’s been trying to talk to you?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes, before he left,” Amy said, clarifying the matter. “But I haven’t heard from him since. He’s moved on, and that’s all that matters now.”
“I did it!” Nick called out from across the room. “Now this is definitely better. Amy? Please tell Beth that I can climb down from this step-ladder now.” He was balancing atop her short step-ladder, the end of the lights wound right to the top of the tree, ready for the star. If she could find it.
“Yes, it looks great!” she called back. “Let the man down, Bethie!”
“Not you, too,” Beth said, jokingly rolling her eyes in reference to Amy’s use of Nick’s nickname for her.
Melissa leaned over, and Amy met her gaze. “He hasn’t moved on,” she said quietly. “If anything, I think he’s quite smitten with you. And quite desperate to get you to speak to him again.”
Amy looked at her, puzzled, as Melissa set her eggnog down and walked away, grabbing the silver garland she’d brought. “I know this is for the tree, but it looks so much better this way, doesn’t it?” she joked, wrapping it around her shoulders and doing a little shimmy as she crossed the room.
“Maybe you should give up real estate and become a Vegas show girl,” Beth said with a laugh.
Amy smiled, too, but glanced past the tree, out her front window. Jason and his son were in the front yard, and she watched as Brian happily shrieked while Jason chased him around the yard.
Her heart ached, and she realized that as much as she loved being here with her friends, she wished she were right out there with him.
