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Dean
Nine Years Ago
“Dean! Are you in there?” Someone pounded violently against the door to my room, matching the agonizing pounding in my head.
I let out a loud groan and covered my ears with my hands, trying to block out both the pounding and the throbbing headache.
“Are you seriously still in bed? Wake up!”
“Let me the fuck alone!” I yelled at the door. I sluggishly rolled off my bed with a loud thud and grabbed my Introduction to Sociology textbook and flung it at the door.
“You’re going to be late for English 190 again. It’s already 1:48 pm!”
“You’re wrong! I’m not going to be fucking late because I’m not going!” Damian’s lecturing was getting on my fucking nerves.
“Come on, man! You can’t miss any more of this class! If you miss another class, the professor might lower you one letter grade.”
“Just sign me in like you did last week!” I screamed at the door.
I heard a loud sigh from the other side of the door. “Dude, I’m coming in.”
I groaned and rolled onto my face to avoiding seeing him.
The door opened slowly and I heard his footsteps approach me on the floor. “Man, you look like shit.”
“Well, thank and fuck you too.”
To my annoyance, he stifled a laugh. “Sorry.”
“Whatever. Can you just let me go back to sleep?”
“Dean...I know you’re going through some shit after what happened with Katherine—”
“Don’t fucking mention that name to me! She’s dead to me. That blonde bitch!” I felt like my head was about to explode.
“Ok, fine. I know what the Blonde Bitch did was fucked up. Gibson is fucked up. I’m glad he moved out of the frat house last week. But look, man, it’s Wednesday afternoon and you’re still hung over from another late night of drinking. You look like shit every day. You have a pathetic looking beard starting to develop on your face. And dude, you seriously need a good shower because you fucking smell.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, coach,” I mumbled sarcastically.
“I don’t mean to sound harsh, man, but I’m worried about you. You’re drinking practically all night every night. You barely leave your room. You’re missing half your classes. It’s been over two weeks since you found out. You’re a fucking mess. No girl’s worth this. Don’t let her beat you down like this—don’t let her win.”
I grunted and slowly got up to a sitting position. “You’re right. I’m letting the Blonde Bitch win.” I clenched my jaw at how fucked up things have gotten. She was the one who had cheated on me. She was the one that broke me. And here I was, drowning in misery and making things worse for myself. She fucked up, and I was letting her win. I balled my hands into tight fists and pounded at the floor in frustration. “I need to get over her.”
“Yes, you do,” Damian agreed.
“But how?” I looked at him, feeling lost. I’d been dating Katherine for so long, it was hard to imagine a life without her. It was hard to imagine who I was without her.
Damian shook his head. “You’re really pitiful, you know that? The easiest way to get over a girl is to fuck another. Then another, and another, and another! Or better yet, fuck several of them at the same time!” He laughed. “And for us, that shit is easy.”
I frowned. “What do you mean by us?”
“We’re fucking Sigma Chi frat bros living on Greek Row! You just have to go next door, or across the street, or two doors down to meet a houseful of hot, wild, sorority-girl pussy.” He chuckled. “Trust me, once you’re back on the saddle, you’ll get over that bitch in no time.”
Damian was right. I wasn’t going to let Katherine ruin me. I wasn’t going to waste my time with love again. I was going to spend my time on what was important: having fun with more than one woman and enjoying my life in college.
***
Present Day
“You must be Blair!” I watched as Alexis squealed in delight as she approached us and gave Blair a hug. “I’m Alexis, Damian’s wife. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
“It’s so very great to finally meet you too. Dean’s told me so much about you and Damian.” Blair handed Alexis a silver wrapped box with a large pink bow. “This is for the birthday girl.”
“Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! Izzy’s really getting spoiled this year!”
“You only turn two once.” I leaned in and gave Alexis a huge. “Now where’s that husband of yours?”
“He’s here somewhere. Damian?” She looked around.
Just then, Damian came out of one of the bedrooms with Isabella. “Hey, guys! Princess Izzy wanted to change the bow on her hair to another color.” Isabella followed her dad into the room as Damian greeted us.
“I seriously can’t believe she’s such a diva already,” Alexis said in a hushed voice as she leaned in toward me and Blair. “Damian’s totally spoiling that child.”
“That’s pretty cute,” Blair gushed as she watched Isabella giggle as Damian picked her up from with one arm.
I laughed. “Damian’s always had a way with the ladies.”
Blair jabbed me in my arm playfully. “That’s not nice.”
I swung my arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. “How did I end up with such an abusive girlfriend?”
“Must be your bad luck.” Blair shrugged and made an apathetic face.
Alexis laughed as she watched us. “You two are so cute together. Thanks so much for coming to Izzy’s birthday party.”
“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Dean, you’re such a liar. I know you’re here for free booze,” Damian teased me as he leaned in and gave Blair a hug. “So great to finally meet the woman who’s managed to tie Dean Chase down.”
“He’s definitely a handful,” Blair said as she made a face at me. “I must be a masochist.”
“Easy, guys. I thought we’re at a kid’s birthday party, not Let’s-Gang-Up-On-Dean party.”
“Oh, really?” Blair frowned in confusion. “I must have received the wrong invitation, then.” She shrugged innocently.
“No, you didn’t, Blair.” Damian laughed. “I sent those out to everyone except for our Dean here. He got the only birthday party invitation. Sucker!”
“Very funny, guys.” I shook my head.
“We love you, buddy.” Damian gave me friendly punched in my arm. “Wanna help me make with the drinks in the kitchen, Dean? Blair, you want me to make you a cocktail?”
“Sure! How can I say no when it’s being offered by the infamous bartender Damian Castillo?”
“I see my reputation precedes me.” Damian laughed. “Dean, I love this girl already. So what will it be, Blair?”
“How about a Manhattan?”
“Wow. A whiskey drinker.” He slapped his hand against my back and leaned in to whisper, “Dude, this one’s a keeper.”
I smiled at Blair, who grinned back at me.
“Alexis, do you need any help with anything?” Blair asked Alexis, who was straightening Isabella’s new hair bow.
“Yes, I’d love some help in the living room.”
“Have fun. We’ll have the drinks out in a few.” I kissed Blair on the cheek before following Damian into the kitchen.
“I really like her, man.” Damian grabbed a cocktail glass from the cabinet and started to make Blair’s Manhattan.
“Yeah. Me too.” I nodded in agreement.
“I can tell.” He looked over at me. “I’m really happy for you, man. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen you look this happy before.”
“Thank you. I seriously can’t remember ever feeling this happy and comfortable with someone. She’s pretty incredible. She’s smart, witty, and confident. And I love that she challenges me and keeps me on my toes.”
“Shit, man. You’re already in love, aren’t you?” He eyed me with a smug smile on his face.
I laughed and thought about it. Then, as if a layer of fog had cleared inside my head, everything made sense. I nodded. “Yeah, I really think I am.” I knew I’d been having this all-consuming feeling about Blair for a while now. But for some reason, I wasn’t sure what it meant. All I knew was it felt foreign, different, and incredibly good. It wasn’t until this moment, hearing Damian ask me if it was love, that it finally became crystal clear to me.
I, Dean Chase, was in love.
***
“And this is sashimi-grade fish?” I held up the container of sliced fish pieces to show the fishmonger at Nijiya Supermarket, the Japanese market in Japantown.
He nodded.
“Thanks.” I put the fish in my basket and looked at my list of ingredients that I still needed. I was going to make sushi tomorrow. Other than the sushi class I took last week to prepare for tonight, this was going to be the first time I was making sushi. I wanted to make sure I did it right because tomorrow’s dinner was going to be a special one.
Tomorrow night, I planned on telling Blair that I was in love with her. I had planned a special evening for me and Blair tomorrow. I knew she loved sushi, so I wanted to surprise her by making her sushi for dinner. I didn’t think she had realized this, but tomorrow would be our six-month anniversary from the date of our first date at Prubechu.
After I dropped off the groceries I bought at Nijiya Supermarket at my place, I drove over to Blair’s.
“Hey, babe!” She threw her arms around my neck the moment she opened the door.
“Hi, baby. Well, aren’t we in a happy mood?” I caressed her face and kissed her—I could never get tired of tasting her sweet lips.
She giggled. “What’s not to be happy about? I’m about to spent a perfect Thursday evening with my perfect boyfriend.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her as we sat down on her couch. “I know I’m pretty fucking amazing, but you’ve never been this happy to see me before. What gives? Have you been holding back on me this entire time?”
She laughed. “No, I haven’t been holding back on you! I’m really happy today because I have great news!”
“Oh? Spill it then,” I demanded playfully. Her excitement was infectious and I wanted to know why.
“I found her!” she shrieked as she moved up and down on the couch in excitement.
“You did! That’s fucking awesome, babe!” I didn’t have to ask Blair to elaborate on whom she was talking about. It’d been almost four months since she got her half-sister’s last known contact information from Trent, and since then, Blair had been anxiously waiting for the private investigator she hired to give her some good news.
“And guess what? We talked for over two hours this afternoon! It was such a surreal conversation—to talk to your sister whom you’d never met or had any knowledge of.”
“I’m so happy for you, honey. You look so happy right now.”
“I am. And it gets even better! She actually lives only an hour away in San Jose! How crazy is that? She’s been this close to me and I didn’t even know it!”
I beamed at her as I watched her eyes light up in excitement. “Shit, what a small world! How come it took the P.I. this long to find her?”
Suddenly her expression became somber. “It’s actually really sad. Her parents—well, Trent’s biological parents—both died in a car accident about five years ago. Because her parents had refinanced their house a few years prior to pay off some credit cards, there was no equity in the house. So she had to use up all her savings to pay for the funeral. So since then, she’s been trying to get by with odd jobs while she was crashing with friends. So the address and number that Trent found for her no longer worked.”
“Wow, that sounds awful. I wonder if Trent knows.”
She frowned. “I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s not important right now. I’m so happy that you finally found her. That’s really great news!”
“Yeah, I know. A part of me is still in shock that she’s real.”
“I’ll bet.” I caressed her glowing face and brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ears. I desperately wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I held my tongue. This moment was hers and her sister’s. I have tomorrow, I reminded myself. “So what are you guys going to do next?”
She beamed at me, unable to hold back the intensity of her excitement. “I’m going to drive to San Jose tomorrow morning to see her!” She let out a squeal.
“That’s so amazing! I can’t believe it! What a small world, babe!”
“I know. Oh, Dean. I can’t wait to meet her! God, I can’t wait for you to meet her too! I really think you’ll love her!”
“I’m sure I will.” I kissed her tenderly on her lips. “I’m really happy for you, Blair. I really am.”
“Thanks, Dean. I don’t know how I could’ve gone through the last several months without you by my side, keeping me sane and keeping my hope alive.”
I held both of her hands between mine and squeezed them. “I’m glad that I could be there for you, and I’m so happy to see that all your persistence paid off.”
“Me too.”
Then I realized something. “So will you be back in SF tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, I will. I’m going to San Jose at 10 am. I’ll probably be back by the afternoon. Why?”
“Oh, no reason. I just wanted to see if we’re still hanging out tomorrow night.”
“Yup, of course! I’m all yours! What did you want to do tomorrow?”
“Oh, nothing special. I just want to see you. Why don’t you stop by around 7 pm and we can go somewhere for dinner and maybe catch a movie?” I lied.
“Sure! Works for me.”
“Awesome. Then it’s a date!” I smiled as I imagined the look on her face tomorrow night when she saw what I had planned for her. I smiled as I imagined how wonderful it was going to feel to finally tell her that I loved her. I smiled as I imagined how amazing my future was going to be with her by my side. I could not wait for tomorrow to come.
