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Dean
Her words sent a shock wave through my system and I wondered if I’d heard them correctly. “What do you mean? I thought...”
She shook her head. “So much has happened recently, Dean. I wonder if...”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, and I felt my chest tighten in fear for what she’d say next.
I grabbed her arms. “I’m sorry for everything that’s happened, baby. But we can make this work.”
She slowly pushed me away and met my gaze with somber eyes. “As much as I don’t want to admit it, Katherine’s right about one thing.”
“What?” I was completely shocked by her words.
“There are some facts that we will never be able to change. The fact that she’s my sister. The fact that you’ve slept with her. The fact that you’d loved her so deeply that when she broke up with you, you refused to be in a relationship for over ten years.”
“That’s all in the past, Blair.” I needed her to know that I didn’t love Katherine anymore. “What I felt for her doesn’t stand a chance to how I feel about you.”
“Tell me this, Dean. If she hadn’t been a bitch to me, and we had became close sisters, would you have been okay with that? Would you have been able to appreciate her as my sister?”
“I...” I was taken aback by her questions. It wasn’t something I’d thought about.
“Would you have forgiven her for all the things she’d done to you?”
I knew she wanted the truth, and I was tired of lying to her. I looked away. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve been holding on to so much anger and resentment against her for over ten years. I don’t think that just goes away over night.”
“But that doesn’t change how I feel about you,” he insisted.
“But it changes how I feel about us.” I watched her fight back her tears as she tried to hold it together. “I’m still trying to accept and move on from the fact that she’s your ex.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. She was right. I couldn’t change any of these facts.
“Dean, since the first moment we met, it’d seemed like life has been trying to pull us apart. Maybe we don’t work.”
“Don’t say that,” I begged.
“You know, when I was younger and got my heart broken by a guy, my Dad said something to me that has stayed with me. He said, ‘You can’t force love. You can’t control the future. But you deserve the best in life. So if the time is not right, then move on. Second best is never enough. You’d do much better on your own.’” I turned to meet Dean’s gaze. “Those words stuck with me all these years, and it holds true more so than ever. People always say that timing is everything when it comes to relationships. And it’s been pretty clear from the very moment we met that timing has never been right for us. Something or someone was always just around the corner to break us apart. So...maybe it’s time for us to move on...from each other.”
“No, Blair. I think we should talk about this.”
She tried to force a smile but more tears fell down her flushed cheeks. “What else is there to say, Dean? I want all of you, Dean. But I don’t think you can give it to me right now.”
“That’s not true,” I argued, but a part of me wondered if she was right. I had never truly let go of what Katherine had done to me over ten years ago, and the pain and anger had stayed with me all this time.
“Even if it’s not true, even if you could move on from your anger for Katherine and be okay that she’s my sister, I’m not sure I can move on from the fact that she’s your ex.”
I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but fear held me back. I could tell from the expression on her face that she’d made up her mind.
“Maybe it’s not meant to be.” Her voice was soft and pained.
My chest constricted and I found it hard to breathe. A heaviness was in the air as we stared at each other in the still, tense silence. There was nothing left to say.
Finally she broke the trance between us and kissed me gently on the cheek. “Goodbye, Dean,” she whispered in my ear, and I felt her hot tears wet my face.
Unimaginable pain paralyzed me, and I couldn’t seem to speak. My stomach lurched with regret and agony as I watched her walk out of my life.
