All the breath was sucked out of me; my chest squeezing painfully tight at the thought of Chaz giving his heart to this scowling girl. Sudden rage built up inside me as I took in her smug expression. That did it. Dropping the hoses, we simultaneously raised hands, but Mira was a split second faster. A force that felt like a hard kick in the chest sent me flying into the air before I came crashing down, landing on my back. The wind whooshed out of my lungs, and I lay gasping in front of everyone for a moment, before my senses kicked in. That really hurt! I lay there in shock for another moment before I completely lost it. Forgetting my powers, I scrambled to my feet, launching myself at Mira.
“Arghhhhhh!” I cried, letting my frustration with everything and everyone come screeching out. All the pent up emotions I’d been struggling with over everything now morphed into a fury that scared me. The stress and confusion I’d been going through since the stupid training, mounted to a head. It broke out of me, Mira the trigger that set me off. I body-slammed her just as she threw her hands out to zap me again. We both went down, squealing like swamp maidens.
“Let go you psycho!” Mira screeched. As we rolled around, oblivious to our audience, she braced her arms against my chest, the shocking force throwing me again into the muddy ground. But this time I rolled on impact, back on my feet in an instant. Finally remembering my own powers, I set them on her just as she got to her feet. My body shook with the force of my energy and rage, as Mira propelled fast, against her will, towards me.
I grabbed her mid-air and with one swift kick, swiped her legs out from under her. Then I dropped down and straddling her, grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head.
My height compared to hers was an advantage, and although she shrieked and struggled furiously, I had it over her, by physical strength at least.
“You might have Chaz fooled, but I know what a fake you are,” I yelled in her face as I pushed her, thrashing and kicking, deeper into the mud.
“You’re just a desperate wanna-be partner stealer and you suck at your powers!” Mira screeched back, her nails digging into my arms.
“Someone please separate them,” Brazin’s bored voice commanded.
“Er...in a minute,” Aza replied, his voice rich with amusement. I eventually noticed no one had moved to stop us. Sure enough, when I took my eyes off Mira for a moment and glanced up, the boys’ expressions were positively gleeful. Jonaz stood leaning against the pod with his arms crossed, a broad smirk stretching across his face while Marz and Mekai grinned back at me like a pair of idiots. The trainers were just as bad, except Raze who looked as contemptuous and sneering as ever. Only Sazika’s expression was awakening. She’d backed up to stand close to Mekai, and it was the disappointment in her face that brought me to my senses.
Letting go of Mira, I jumped to my feet and backed away, not taking my eyes from her for a second. My breathing was still shallow and fast, my heart pounding in my rib cage. Mira leapt to her own feet, her chest heaving in anger, her eyes icy daggers intent on stabbing me to death with dislike. At last, Brazin decided to step between us.
“Are you done girls?” Brazin grinned coldly.
“Yep,” I muttered sullenly. Mira stood with her arms folded, still glaring at me with wild eyes.
“Right. Now that I know the passion you girls are capable of over a ridiculous incident like this, I expect you to show even greater amounts of energy and determination in your training. But, use your powers first next time! Now get in the pod.” We did as we were told in angry silence, uncomfortably damp and muddy. The others sat warily between us. Every now and then Jonaz would look up at me, then snicker and shake his head. If I didn’t feel so drained, I would have liked to wipe the smug smile off his face too.
I hung my head in shame at my loss of control. Again. It was just another reminder that I would never be ready for adulthood, for the maturity required to partner. Worse than that, I definitely wasn’t the right person for Como to trust with everyone’s lives. My eyes smarted, but I refused to let even one tear escape. I didn’t want Mira to see how much her mistrust hurt me. The injustice of her attack stung like a real wound, and I didn’t see how I could ever forgive her. Instead, I leaned my head against the window, facing my body away from the others. It was awkwardly quiet, the mood soured for everyone.
I felt Marz’s eyes fixed warily on me, not daring to bother me. I figured he’d be pretty much over any romantic notions between us after witnessing that little performance. Sazika sat next to me, and when I finally worked up the courage to peek at her, to my surprise she was staring evenly back. Embarrassed, I went to turn my head away again, but she gave me a little smile, leaning towards me.
“I think she kind of deserved that,” she whispered for my ears only.
“Why?” I was surprised. “I thought you were upset with me.”
“No,” she said as she shook her head firmly. “I’ve heard the comments and seen the looks. You two do provoke each other, but she accused you falsely today. I don’t believe you would do that.”
“You’ve heard us? When? Where were you?”
Sazika’s eyes widened before she blushed, ducking her head guiltily.
“You sneaky little eavesdropper!” I snorted, too amused to be annoyed. As if I wouldn’t do the same if I had her power. What better way to get the gossip than to be invisible? I liked the girl even more.
“Sorry.” She giggled in relief at my reaction. “Are you going to tell Chaz what happened?”
I shook my head. “I don’t want him to know about this. I’m ashamed enough. Besides, Mira is the girl he wants to partner. If I interfere it will only push him further away from me.”
Sazika was silent for a moment before she spoke again softly.
“She seemed very upset about not completing the challenge. I think that’s why she lashed out at you. She’s very focused on the training.”
“No kidding.” I peeked at Mira. To my total surprise, although her head was bent, staring into her lap, I could see her cheeks were burning and wet with tears. Her hands twisted tightly together, her knuckles white from the pressure. Why was she crying, for planet’s sake? She started it! Sazika looked at her too, her brow furrowing at the sight of Mira’s obvious distress.
“There must be a reason she’s so passionate. Do you know what it is?” I thought about the hints Chaz had given me on the first day back at school. He really hadn’t revealed anything that struck me as key to understanding her complex moods. I shook my head tiredly, leaning against the window again. Closing my eyes to shut out Mira’s face, I tried to push away the increasingly troublesome feeling that her attack actually stemmed from some reason other than our differences. I didn’t want to understand her anymore. Not today, and maybe not ever. I was too tired and too hurt, and my head throbbed from Raze’s blow. I knew a bruise would appear soon, but I was willing to suffer in silence rather than give Jonaz the satisfaction of putting his hands anywhere near me again today. He might feel I owed him again, and he’d done me enough unwelcome favours for one day.
Blood flooded my cheeks when I thought about being in Jonaz’s arms. Why had he even been there? It really bothered me that he’d rescued me, mostly because I was sure I wouldn’t have done the same for him. I probably would have laughed gleefully and kept on going. The thought sat uneasily on my conscience until I pushed it from my mind. I spent the rest of the trip avoiding looking at either Jonaz or Mira, keeping my eyes firmly fixed on the passing scenery.
We arrived back at Caran just as morning break began. I groaned inwardly when I realized we would have to disembark in front of the whole school. Sure enough as we climbed out of the pod, looking like we’d been dragged on a weeklong survival trek, students stopped talking in their clusters, gaping openly at us. The boys in our group reacted rather well to this, I noticed. Jonaz swept his hair back in his usual manner, confidently strolling through the gawking masses, and making dirt look irritatingly good. Poor Sazika looked like she wanted to disappear again, while Mira scowled forebodingly back at everyone. I put my head down and walked fast, dreaming about hot water and pretending not to hear the whispers, but it was impossible. We were the centres of everyone’s attention.
“She can shock people, the one with the dark hair,” I heard a younger girl whisper loudly to her friends as we passed.
“Shhh, don’t stare she might shock you!” her friend responded as she giggled.
“That’s right, I might,” Mira hissed, turning the full force of her icy glare on them. They paled and jumped back, shrieking as they clutched each other for support. My mirth was short lived, replaced by nausea as I overheard more conversation from some girls in my year. Girls who were old enough to know better:
“He’s sooooo well made,” a wavy brown haired girl called Joa declared boldly, staring lustfully after Jonaz.
“I know a girl from fourth year who secretly went out with him last year,” said her friend. “It only lasted two moons, but she said it was worth it!”
“Really?” said Chira, another short, dark haired girl I knew from biology of the world’s class. “Maybe I should ask him to match with me; he hasn’t chosen a partner that I know of.”
“Get in line,” Joa snorted. “He can put those healing hands on me anytime!” The girls all sighed in unison then erupted into giggles. I gagged loudly. Ahead of me, Marz also appeared to be attracting his fair share of admiring glances; I noticed how he pulled his shoulders back and walked with a new swagger to his step in a familiar imitation of Jonaz. Even Mekai appeared to be enjoying newfound popularity, as different groups called out to him.
“Who’s the redhead?” murmured a blonde boy called Nave, staring at Sazika with open interest.
“Dunno, never noticed her before. But I’m noticing now!” his taller friend replied, giving Sazika a very keen look. Sazika blushed flaming red, her expression horrified. As I went to take her arm and reassure her, she vanished in front of me.
“Whoa! Did you see that?” Nave cried as others who’d seen gasped in surprise.
“Do you think she heard me?” his friend asked, looking mortified. Relief washed over me as I spotted my own friends; sure I was only moments away from hearing something unpleasant about myself. I’d already heard enough for one day, thanks very much.
“Way to make an appearance!” Dash greeted me as Meela bounded in for a hug.
“Believe me I would have preferred another way.” I cringed as we sat down at a new bench. It just didn’t feel the same as our old one, but my friends kindly said nothing about it as Meela slid her energy juice over to me. I took it, sipping gratefully.
“How did it go?” Chaz asked. He beamed at Mira and me, our stony faces seeming to go unnoticed. I caught Mira’s eye once, quickly reading her expression. She appeared as reluctant as me to incriminate herself over our latest altercation.
Somehow, incredibly, an unspoken agreement seemed to pass between us to say nothing. It was between us, our problem to deal with. No need to hurt Chaz by telling him the truth. At least we both cared about him enough to agree to that.
“It was okay,” Mira and I said in unison. Dash choked on his juice. Meela raised her eyebrows at us. Chaz grinned even wider, clearly taking this as a sign we were becoming best of friends. Ha. I smothered the scowl that threatened to ruin his happiness.
“Aw, you guys are so lucky,” Dash whined. “I’d take okay over being stuck in boring normal classes any day.”
“Well you can so get over it already,” Meela snapped. “You moan and complain like a retired citizen. I can’t stand it any longer!”
“Huh?” Dash uttered in surprise. “That’s a little harsh!”
“Well listening to you going on about it day in and day out is tiring,” Meela retorted. “Why can’t you just be more supportive?”
“What? I am! You know I’m happy for you right Twell?” he said anxiously.
“Of course!” I laughed to try and ease the tension, but after that there was an awkward strained silence between them. Meela didn’t so much as glance at Dash for the rest of break, while he sat unusually quiet, wearing a wounded expression. I was startled at Meela’s outburst. Never in our entire friendship had I seen her irritated with Dash, let alone have a go at him. They’d always been as cosy as two mud pogs in a swamp. As I headed off for a shower, I decided I’d try and talk to her about it as soon as the opportunity arose.
However, it turned out I didn’t get the chance until a moon later. Training resumed back at school the next day. I’d been so totally absorbed with classes and continuing to harness my powers back in the safety of the hall over the following days, that time with her had been scarce. On days of rest, I found myself both physically and mentally exhausted. A complete new moon cycled before I even had a chance to catch up with my friends again, outside of school.
One beautiful clear, white-skied afternoon, we headed out to another place we liked to hang out, Reflection Lake. On the edge of Caran, the lake was another popular place to go for the citizens of Caran and travellers. Around the lake were dozens of white-roofed shelters; open-sided to allow a clear view across the water. White pillows were strewn around the floor of the huts, and steps from each hut led down to the water’s edge so you could dive straight in, or simply dangle your legs in if you wished. Generally, Como’s weather was cool and fine, however on this day our distant sun felt unusually warm.
We relished the change as we lay around in our own private hut, sipping on relaxation drinks and enjoying the weather. For the first time since school had started I felt relaxed. I lay on my back, my hands propped under my head, and my feet elevated on Dash’s back who lay on his stomach playing a brain training game on his wristband. Every now and then, he would curse and shake his head at himself then start the game again. Occasionally he would glance sideways at Meela, before ducking his head, turning away with a frown. Meela, to my left, was curled on her side facing me. Chaz sat on my other side, his back against a supporting pillar of the shelter. Mira lay with her head in his lap while he stroked her dark hair. Her eyes were closed, but despite our peaceful surroundings, her features were tight with tension. In class, Mira seemed to be thriving. She radiated purpose; even I could appreciate how hard she worked. Outside of class however, she seemed unable to relax or take her mind off things. It was as if she was constantly worried about something, or as if the pressure was somehow greater for her than the rest of us.
Since the fight, I’d made no attempt at reconciliation, but we’d managed to remain civil. The fight seemed to have subdued both of us. I just didn’t seem to have the spirit for another round. That was highly unusual for me, but my issues with her just seemed less important now in the grand scheme of things. Occasionally when I caught her looking at me I thought I saw a glimpse of regret, but then she would bite her lip and turn away, and I was still hurting too much to care. I knew Meela was suspicious of our frostily polite treatment of each other, but she continued to be as friendly to Mira as always.
Chaz, however, had bought the whole charade. He said nothing about our truce to me, the fact that Mira and I could be in the same room together without kicking, biting, hissing, or spitting at each other, proof enough for his happiness. Right now, it bothered me to watch him running his fingers along her cheek, and dropping his face to kiss her forehead, but I had to admit it was much more bearable than it had first been several moons ago. I’d decided that the only way I could fathom it was that one person’s poison, could somehow be the elixir of life to another.
Chaz got up, grabbing Mira’s hand, “come on, we’re going in,” he said pulling her up with him. I wisely looked away as he removed his shirt, revealing his perfect, unavailable body. Mira started to protest but he easily picked her up and carried her squealing to the water’s edge, where he jumped in without her consent. More shrieking and splashing sounds followed at the base of the hut, before they swam off, out to the deeper waters.
Just then Jonaz, two mates, and a gaggle of giggling girls walked past our hut. My heart jerked strangely, and I sank down low, inexplicably self-conscious.
“What’s wrong?” Meela’s gaze swung from Jonaz to me with interest.
“That self-worshiping, egotistical jerk acts like it’s only a matter of time before I become another star in his orbit,” I spluttered angrily to hide my unease. “Can you believe him?”
“Yes, I can,” Dash replied dryly. “It is totally believable that he would expect that. After all, he has quite a following.” He nodded over at Jonaz who was now surrounded by more girls, and even a few guys, all talking animatedly and laughing like they didn’t have a care in the world. At least Dash was on my side, although why I didn’t know.
“So he likes you then?” Meela asked, ignoring my outrage. She stared thoughtfully in his direction.
“Don’t look at him, it will only encourage him!” I grabbed her arm, jerking her around. “And no, he doesn’t like me, he just can’t stand the fact that I’m not like every other brainwashed, pathetic female in this place.” Following him around, begging to get hurt. Honestly, why did they put themselves through it? It was so pointless, we all knew our futures, only one person would be unfortunate enough to end up with him, and with his inability to stick with someone it was obvious the G.B. would end up making the final choice. Ha. Even they might have a challenge on their hands with that task.
“He is very handsome though,” Meela said, shocking me out of my thoughts.
“WHAT?” I stared open-mouthed at my best friend turned traitor.
“Oh come on, Twell, can’t a girl have some fun before she has to...well you know. I mean, look at him! He’s so, so...”
“Intolerable? Infuriating? Unbearable?” I offered.
“Charismatic. Well made. Into you,” she suggested back.
“Stop that!” I ordered, simultaneously horrified and flustered.
“Do you know how many girls in this place would die to go out with him?” she asked still gawking at him.
“Do you know how many girls already have?” I retorted. I was sooo disappointed with Meela. How could she? I thought she was smarter than that.
“Yeah, but that’s gotta be saying there’s something more to him right? Why else would they be lining up?” I groaned, performing a face palm. Dash hooted delightedly, while I took a deep breath and tried not to get cross at Meela’s earnest expression.
“That’s what I don’t understand. He’s a player... he’s...he’s second hand...third...fiftieth!” My own confusion was mounting, and I could feel my cheeks burning, betraying me yet again. Did I even mean what I was saying? But, Meela was hardly listening; too busy ogling Jonaz unashamedly. Dash stopped guffawing, staring at Jonaz too. Except that it was more of a narrow-eyed glare.
“Says who?” Meela demanded turning back to me, eyebrows raised in challenge.
“Er...every girl he ever dumped? Seriously Meela don’t you absorb any of the gossip at school?”
“Yes, but that’s just it Twell, it’s only gossip. You can’t judge him on what someone else tells you,” she said, her expression turning serious. “Decide from your own experience.”
Honestly, she was such a fair person it was sickening.
“Well I’ve seen enough with my own eyes to know what I think,” I replied stubbornly. “And trust me, the only thing he really likes around here, is himself in every reflective surface he can find.” Dash cracked a smile, looking a little less irritated. But Meela’s expression was disapproving; chastising me with her eyes. “What? You think I’m being judgemental?” I spat it out, and then cringed back as if waiting for a physical blow. Meela’s expression was not encouraging. “Really? Am I that bad?” I sulked.
“I think you judge people way before you know them,” she said it quickly, as if ripping off a dressing. “Sometimes it’s like you take other people’s personalities personally.”
“Oh!” Okay. That hurt. I hadn’t asked her to go and get so psychological on me darn it. With a sinking feeling, I realized that as much as people like Mira and Jonaz annoyed the heck outta me, I’d still been quick to dismiss them both without really seeking to find why they were the way they were. With a groan, I realized it might actually be me who needed to change my attitude. Drat. “Are you sure that it’s not because I’m just really clever at discerning what people are truly like?” I tried hopefully.
Meela just shook her head, snorting with amusement. I pulled a face at her.
“Fine, I guess I’ll try to be less judgmental in the future.” I stuck my lower lip out. Meela threw herself at me, and I caught her in a tight embrace.
“You know I still love you of course?” she muttered into the back of my head.
“Yeah, yeah, you gotta be cruel to be kind and all that.”
“That’s my bestie!” Meela drew back, beaming.
“I’m going for a swim. Who’s coming?” Dash jumped up, clearly eager to flee our girly chat. He stripped off, giving Meela a hopeful glance that she pretended not to see. Looking baffled by her behaviour, he shook his head then ran down the steps, throwing his lanky frame into the water. Meela raised her eyes slightly beneath her silvery lashes, staring after him as if torn over the decision, but then she pursed her lips and stayed where she was.
“Don’t you want to swim?” I asked. Meela rolled onto her back and with her legs in the air, tried to balance a cushion on the end of her feet.
“Maybe later.” I decided I might as well try her questioning tactics. Attack.
“So what’s up with you and Dash?” I asked bluntly. Meela gave me a wide-eyed look that didn’t fool me.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, maybe I’m imagining things, but you seem to be a little snappy with him lately. Did something happen?” Meela hesitated for a moment before letting the cushion fall to the floor.
“It’s just that, well, he’s been acting weird.” She sat up and faced me.
“How?” I pulled myself up, mirroring her body language so that I sat opposite her, in the same cross-legged manner.
“Haven’t you noticed how agitated he’s been acting?” Meela’s eyes radiated frustration. “He’s been wigging out about the partnering, and it’s really starting to freak me out.”
“Oh, I had no idea,” I admitted guiltily. The truth was, I hadn’t noticed at all, so caught up in my own little world, I’d failed to see the changes going on in my friends.
“He goes on and on about it,” Meela continued, her voice rising. “What will she look like? What if she hates him? What if she finds him repulsive, what if, what if? Argh!” She threw her hands up in frustration.
“Meela, you can’t really blame him for being nervous about it, can you? I mean, doesn’t it bother you?” I knew her answer already, even if she wasn’t willing to say it aloud. Who would gladly jump into the arms of a complete stranger crying “Hellooo partner!”? No sane person, that’s who.
“Of course it does,” Meela said, frowning, “I don’t have a boyfriend, I have no idea who I’ll get stuck with, but I just darn well don’t want to think about it until I have to, and I still have a good few moons until I do!”
“Fair enough,” I easily agreed, “Tell him that.”
“It’s not just that, though.” Meela’s expression became pained.
“What is it?” We were obviously getting to the good bit. Leaning forward I squeezed her shoulder and she gave me a weak smile.
“Well, for example, take the other day. I jokingly mentioned how lucky you are to be in training all day with all these guys from the top end of the gene pool, and well. You should have heard him. ‘What’s so good about those over inflated prats? Just because they have a few extra skills doesn’t make them nature’s gift!’ Blah, blah, blah!”
“Oops.” I laughed. “I think you may have hurt his ego.”
“Yeah but it’s got nothing to do with him, what I think of other guys, and he totally bit my head off!”
“Sounds like he’s jealous?”
“Well, I’ve told him a hundred times, you have no powers, so deal with it already.” Meela rolled her eyes.
“Er...that’s not what I meant. I think he might be jealous of you noticing other boys,” I said as I grinned.
“What? But Dash has seen me crush over a zillion guys, I tell him everything!” Meela’s face screwed up in confusion.
“Again, I think that’s why he may be jealous,” I repeated patiently. Meela’s eyes widened in horror as she grasped the meaning of my words.
“But we’re just friends,” her voice came out in a choked whisper.
“Do you think maybe he thinks it might be better, if he were to choose a friend...”
“Rather than someone he doesn’t know,” Meela finished, her voice catching. “Oh, no, no...Dash!” Meela buried her head in her hands and groaned.
“Meela, would it really be so bad?” I pulled her hands away from her face. “You know he’s a good person who would be kind to you. Let’s be honest, you don’t know what type of person you’ll end up with if you let our G.B. match you. And Dash is your best friend.”
“Yes and I’d like to keep him as just that. I mean, EW! No! I mean...geez Twell; it would be too... weird!” She shook my hands off, her eyes so huge they looked like they might pop out of her head at any moment.
“Okay! Sheesh! I’m probably wrong, don’t listen to me then. I don’t know what I’m talking about.” I held my hands up in surrender, but I was anxious for Meela. What if the G.B. matched her with some jerk that didn’t get her, who didn’t see her value or appreciate her spirit? It would kill me to see her unhappy. Judging by the mortified expression on Meela’s face, it seemed best to let the topic go, even if I could recognize the symptoms. Lots of friends petitioned to partner rather than face the fear of being partnered with a stranger; one way to quietly rebel against the rules. Although it was never discussed, I hope that they then learned to love each other, the way we were supposed to when we were matched, as if time could make two people compatible. Yet if jealousy was an emotion reserved for something you wanted, did that mean Dash really wanted Meela? Hmmm, I was going to watch more carefully from now on.
“Come on, let’s swim!” I cried, jumping up and slipping out of my dress. Enough with the self-assessing for today, I had new silver swimwear I needed to break in.
“Nah,” Meela replied lazily, but I saw her eyes flicker over to where Dash was splashing and hooting in a really bad attempt of someone who didn’t care that they were fighting with their best friend.
“Yeah!” I insisted. Before she could object again, I turned, staring hard at her.
“Don’t you dare,” Meela squeaked. Laughing, I used my power to pick her up and propel her into the water. She went in screaming, attracting attention from other people-filled huts and swimmers. I jumped in after her and she came up spluttering.
“My clothes...you...you!” she gasped. Dash swam up followed by Chaz and Mira. They were all laughing uproariously at an outraged Meela as she tried to pull her sodden clothes off. We spent the rest of the day swimming, and lying around talking and laughing. It was much more noticeable to me now, how Meela avoided any physical contact with Dash, her conversation with him definitely more careful. I watched hurt and confusion play across his usually jovial features and felt really bad for him. It just wasn’t fair; the stupid partnering was causing trouble moons before it was even taking place. Well, I couldn’t let it ruin this day. Who knew how many more afternoons I might get like this with my friends? With will power I pushed these thoughts aside in order to relish the feeling of being a normal Comian girl, doing normal everyday things and talking about subjects that didn’t matter. It seemed more important now to have these moments, because my future seemed so uncertain.