Chapter Four

Kristen paced around the café kitchen. Cameron would be here any second, and she couldn’t get out of going to his parents’ house.

Tira McMillan, Cameron’s mother, had called her that afternoon, telling her she was so happy she was coming to dinner. No one said “no” to Tira. Kristen couldn’t go empty-handed, so she’d told Tira she’d bring her favorite dessert—mini cakes. It didn’t matter that they’d sold all of them that day. Kristen had whipped up a quick batch and put them in the oven. She’d finished decorating them right before it was time to close the shop up for the night.

Kristen had run up to her apartment, had taken a quick shower, and had changed clothes. Where she might have worn jeans to Cameron’s place, she wouldn’t to his parents’ house. She slipped on a light, broomstick skirt and a pretty, lacy blouse.

She texted Cameron, instructing him to come to the back entrance to the café. It would make loading the cakes into his car easier. Because she was such an overachiever, she’d made eight cakes, one for each person at dinner—Cameron, his parents, Skye, his three brothers, and of course, herself.

A knock on the back door caused her to jump, and she hurried over to it. “Who is it?”

“Cameron.”

Kristen undid the heavy-duty lock and pulled the door open. “Hi.” He looked absolutely delicious in the button down dark blue shirt and black slacks. His dark hair was neatly combed, and his blue eyes were bright.

“Hi,” he replied and swept her into his arms.

His mouth settled over hers. Kristen melted as he nipped at her lips until she opened them, allowing him full access. His tongue swept inside as her arms crept to his shoulders before curling around his neck.

Heat started in her core and began spreading through her veins. His tongue dueled with hers, sweeping over the roof of her mouth and then her teeth. His arms tightened around her waist as he pulled her closer. When he finally drew back, she gulped in some air, a little dizzy from the excitement of being in his arms.

His fingers were tangled in her hair. “I needed that,” he whispered.

“Damn, you can kiss,” she said, trying to catch her breath.

“Just wait,” he whispered, his mouth next to her ear, “until I have you beneath me, naked.”

A flush rose over her face in a hot wave as she shifted from one foot to the other trying to quell her arousal. “Your parents are expecting us.”

Cameron let out a breath. “Yes, they are, but I won’t always let you off the hook so easily.” He released her.

She forced herself to take a step back from his magnificent body. His chest was firm and his arms strong. If she let herself, she would sink back into his embrace.

He cleared his throat. “Mom said you offered to bring dessert.”

“Yes.” Kristen pulled herself together. Dinner. His parents. Dessert. “Over here.” She strode to the counter where eight boxes were lined up.

“Are we feeding an army?”

Kristen let out a laugh. “You forget I’ve dined with you and your brothers before. You have big appetites.”

“Some bigger than others.” He snapped his teeth at her, and she shook her head.

“Behave.” She handed him two boxes, while she grabbed two. “Let’s load these into the car.”

“As my lady wishes.”

Five minutes later, they were on the way to his parents’ house. Kristen twisted her fingers together in her lap.

“Are you still nervous about what my parents will think about us?” Cameron asked.

“Yes. You just came back from Scotland. It’s not like we’ve been in a relationship or anything.”

“Honey, anyone who had witnessed that kiss you gave me six months ago wouldn’t be surprised you were one of my first stops.”

“But…” Oh, shit. She remembered that kiss she’d given him. Right after she had whispered in his ear about him tying her up on his bed and having his wicked way with her, she’d laid a big kiss right on his lips. She hadn’t thought about anyone else seeing them in the hallway, kissing. Embarrassment filled her.

“No one in my family is judging you.”

“Everyone judges,” she muttered. “And I’m always lacking.” It was a festering wound inside her thanks to her parents. It didn’t matter what she’d done; it was never good enough. She wasn’t good enough.

“Who the—” Cameron cursed and whipped the vehicle to the side of the road.

“The cakes!” she exclaimed as he pulled the car to a rough stop. “Did we hit something?”

“No, and screw the cakes.” He slammed the car into park and ripped off his seat belt before turning to her. His blue eyes were a turbulent sea, and a nerve ticked in his clenched jaw.

“Cameron?” She was puzzled why he pulled over so abruptly.

“Who the hell told you that you were lacking?”

If his eyes didn’t give her a clue to how upset he was, his voice certainly did. “It’s not a big deal.” She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. Old fears welled up in her. What would Cameron think of her? Would he find her lacking? Her heart clenched at the thought.

“That’s a lie. Honesty, remember?” A warm palm cupped her chin and turned her face to him. “You are not lacking in anything, and anyone who has said so has very bad judgment.”

While his words warmed her heart, her brain reminded her of past mistakes. Going to the BDSM party with a boyfriend, then confessing her needs to her ex-fiancé. She had lost some of her dreams, but not all of them. “Cameron, I’ve come to terms with it.”

At least, she thought she had. After her grandmother died, the knowledge her family would never support her choices had caused her to leave and change her last name. She didn’t want any association with them. But old feelings simmered to the surface.

She cleared her throat. “We’re going to be late for dinner, and you know your mom hates tardiness.”

He studied her for a minute. “I don’t like leaving this to fester. You will tell me why you feel this way eventually. But no one in my family will judge you, and neither will I. You are special and unique.” He released her chin and refastened his seat belt.

Kristen’s heart pounded at his words. Her world brightened; maybe she could relax and be herself. Cameron pulled back onto the road and began discussing how crazy his life would be in a week when classes started. She smiled and nodded, happy to have a mundane conversation with him as her mind processed his words about being special and unique.

She drew in a deep breath when he pulled up to his parents’ home. Their home always did that to her. She loved the McMillan house—two-story colonial with a wraparound porch. The faux stone made it look older than it was. She remembered how Tira had told her about driving the contractor nuts because she’d wanted everything just right.

Kristen pushed the car door open and met Cameron at the rear of his vehicle. He frowned at her, but she chose to ignore it.

Ian, the youngest brother and in college, came bounding out of the house and down the stairs, stopping next to Kristen. “Hi ya, doll.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “What’s cooking?”

“I’m good, Ian. How are classes going?” She reached into the trunk.

“Okay. Let me help you.” He took two of the boxes she pulled out. “Be right back.”

“Scamp,” Cameron muttered.

“He’s just being helpful.” She pulled two more cakes out and waited for Ian to return.

“He wants your cakes.”

“And you don’t?”

“What I want—” Cameron started.

Ian returned. “Mom says to hurry up, dinner is ready.” He slipped the boxes from Kristen’s hands and took off for the house.

Kristen picked up the last two boxes, unsure if she was happy that Ian interrupted Cameron or not.

Cameron closed the trunk. “We better get in there before she sends out a search party.” He gestured with his chin to the front door.

She started up the walkway. Tira was waiting by the door.

“Kristen, honey, you outdid yourself as always.” She took one of the boxes from Kristen.

“It was nothing.” She admired Tira’s reddish brown hair pulled back in a set of elegant silver clips.

“I know better. Skye told me you baked them especially for us,” Tira said.

“Skye is a tattletale,” she muttered.

Cameron laughed. “You’re just figuring that out?”

“Smart ass,” she whispered as his mother led them down the hallway.

“This from the woman who wiggled her ass all the way into the house.” He pushed the front door shut with his foot.

“I did not.”

“Be careful, or I’ll spank it.”

“Promises, promises.” She sashayed down the hall to the kitchen to tease Cameron. What had gotten into her? She never flirted with anyone like that. The thought brought her up short. Why did she feel so comfortable with Cameron? Maybe because he’d told her she was special. No one had ever told her that, and he allowed her to be herself. Kristen spied a grin on Cameron’s face before she made her way into the kitchen.

“Let me take those,” Tira said as she took the boxes and set them on the counter.

Cameron walked in a minute later, and his mother turned and enfolded him into a hug. It didn’t matter that he was more than six inches taller than her. A wave of envy swept over Kristen. Her mother had rarely hugged her, had barely shown her any attention. If it hadn’t been for her grandmother, she would have had a childhood devoid of love.

“I’m so glad to have you home,” Tira said. “We missed you at Thanksgiving and Christmas.”

“I’m happy to be home, Mom.”

Kristen went across the room to talk to Skye, letting son and mother have some privacy. “You told your mom about the cakes,” Kristen said.

“Was it a secret?” Skye’s face filled with concern. “I didn’t think…”

“It wasn’t.” She smiled.

Skye’s eyes lit up. “You’re teasing me?”

“Yep.” A weight lifted from Kristen’s shoulders. She didn’t feel judged here. The family accepted her as they always had. She has a future here, with her café, friends, and maybe with everything Cameron could offer her.

Tira clapped her hands. “Let’s get a move on. Dinner is waiting.”

****

Several hours later, Cameron started his car and pulled away from his parents’ home. Dinner had been lively and good. Before dinner, he had been glad that Kristen had been talking to Skye when his mother told him there would be no talk about him going back to Scotland. She had missed him while he was gone.

He assured his mother he hadn’t made his decision yet, and talking about it over dinner wasn’t an option. He hadn’t said anything to Kristen yet about possibly going back. He wanted to see how this attraction between them played out. He was hopeful they had a future together. The lure of Scotland was there. The university had offered him a nice salary if he would teach there, and there was much more sexual freedom, but it didn’t have Kristen.

“I’m so stuffed,” Kristen said. “Your mom’s roast beef always comes out so tender.”

“She’s a wonder in the kitchen.” Cameron reached over and took Kristen’s hand in his. “And your cakes were a big hit. How did you manage to bake eight different cakes this afternoon?”

“It wasn’t hard.” She glanced out the window.

“From someone who can’t bake worth a crap, I think it’s pretty miraculous.” She seemed somber, and he wanted to lighten the mood.

Her laugh in response was light, and it went straight to his dick. He wanted to hear more of her laughter.

“How did you get into baking?”

The change in the air was instant. She started to pull her hand from his, but he tightened his hold. Why was she so defensive? He hadn’t asked about her family.

“Cameron,” she started.

“Why are you upset? Don’t freeze up on me. I just want to know more about you.”

“Sorry, the question surprised me.” She shook her head. “I took up baking because it was fun, and I enjoyed it.”

Cameron pondered her answer then decided to try another track. “Tell me about your ex-boyfriends and ex-fiancé.”

“That’s even worse.”

“You promised me some sexual history.” He glanced over at her. “If we’re going to explore kink together, it’s something I need to know.”

“Damn,” she whispered. “What do you want to know?”

“How many boyfriends?” He’d start with the simple stuff.

“Before or after high school graduation?”

“After. I’m sure they had no clue what they were doing before.” Most teenage boys didn’t. They were more interested in getting their own pleasure.

“You’re not kidding there.” She shifted in her seat. “My first boyfriend after high school was more into impressing my parents than me, so he was dumped quickly.”

Now that was an interesting tidbit about her family life. She didn’t seem bitter but matter of fact.

“After that, I didn’t date for a while.”

“Why not?” Were the boys blind? How did they miss seeing the sensual creature inside Kristen?

“Because I wanted someone who wanted to be with me.”

Cameron mulled this over. She was dropping little clues. He’d put them together as he got more of the pieces. “What about your next boyfriend?”

“Karl.” She bit out his name like it was poison.

He glanced over at her. Her jaw was tight, and her lips pressed together.

“Not a pleasant memory?” What had the man done?

“No.”

“Another one who wanted to kiss your parents’ ass?” He might need to hunt this one down and make him pay for hurting his Kristen. His gut tightened. Yes, he considered Kristen his already.

“I wish.”

Cameron pulled his car behind her café, turned off the engine, and turned to her.

“Well, good night.” She reached to unfasten her seat belt.

Cameron caught her hands. “You’re not getting out of this talk that easily. I’m coming in.”

“Damn male,” she muttered, and all he could do was grin.

He followed Kristen up the stairs to her apartment, thinking about the man who hurt her. He wanted to beat the crap out of the man and soothe her bad memories away. His reaction made him pause. She’d gotten further under his skin than he’d thought. Not that it was a bad thing. It just meant he would need to watch his reactions around her. A kinky relationship was new to her, and the last thing he wanted to do was scare her away.

Kristen unlocked the door, pushed the door open, and stopped for a moment before stepping completely inside. The first thing he noticed was a lamp was on. Was someone in her apartment? He grasped her upper arm.

“What is it?” She glanced up at him.

“Did you leave the lamp on?”

“Yes. I don’t like returning to a dark home.” Her gaze went to his hold on her arm and then back to his face. “You thought someone else was here?”

“A woman living alone can’t be too safe.”

“True. Which is why I have an alarm system.” She jerked her chin back toward the door. Cameron glanced over his shoulder. So that was what she had done; she disarmed the alarm using the keypad when they’d entered. “Would you like some coffee?” she asked.

“I’m fine.” He released her arm and shut the door. Her living room was laid out nicely with a beige sofa and overstuffed chair. A big, colorful throw rug covered the floor. A TV was tucked against one wall, and bookcases lined the other.

“Have a seat.” She gestured toward the sofa.

“So…Karl?” he asked as he settled on her sofa in her apartment.

“Karl was a bit self-centered, but he liked to tie me up.”

“During sex or other times?” Was that her first time with kink? He suspected it was.

“Both. He was the one who took me to a couple of kinky parties. The private parties.”

“Where you felt unsafe?” He hated she’d experienced BDSM in a bad light. There were some who didn’t care how they portrayed the community. It’s amazing that such an experience didn’t sour her on the whole kink aspect.

She nodded. “The first one wasn’t so bad, but it was the last one he took me to.”

“Did you play at these parties?” He needed to know her history, she knew the right words, but as she’d mentioned, she didn’t have a lot of practical experience.

“Depends on what you mean by play.” She looked away from him then back. Her eyes clouded with apprehension. “At the first club, I allowed him to tie me to a St. Andrews Cross. Just tie me to it. No flogging. Nothing bad happened, but I didn’t like how people looked at me.”

Cameron curled his hand around her neck, caressing her tense muscles. “Tell me.”

She shivered. “I felt dirty. They stared at me like I was a tiny morsel for them to feed on.” Her voice shook. “They wanted to touch me, and I protested. They made me feel unclean, as if I was only there for their amusement. Karl threatened to strip me as I struggled.”

“Did he?” Damn wannabe. Now he really wanted to go after the idiot and show him what humiliation really was. Cameron slid closer to her on the sofa.

“No.” She blew out a breath. “It was just a threat.”

“And the other party?” He continued caressing her neck.

“Because I didn’t feel safe, I wouldn’t allow him to tie me up or anything. We had a big fight after that party and…” Her spine stiffened, and she closed her eyes.

“What happened?” If the bastard had hit her, he’d hunt him down and make him wish he’d never been born. He closed his hand over her clenched fist.

“I don’t know how it happened,” she whispered, “but apparently, someone at the first party had taken pictures of me tied up. Karl was pissed at me, so he sold them.”

The sorrow in her voice told him there was a lot more to the story. He waited patiently while caressing her neck and stroking the back of her hand, letting her know he was there for her.

“When they first came out in the tabloids, I really didn’t care.”

“What did your parents think?”

“Oh, they yelled and got angry, but then I could never please them, so it didn’t bother me too much.” She glanced up at him.

The tears in her eyes did more than pull at his heart. They made him angry. Furious that someone had hurt her so much, that the pain was still with her.

“What hurt more,” she said, “was that I lost my chance to attend classes at a private pastry school. All the media hoopla was too much for them, and they asked me to leave.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He pulled her against his chest. Baking meant so much to her. Losing out of a special school must have wounded her tender heart.

“It’s not your fault.” She snuggled against him.

“How old were you when this happened?”

She tipped her head back. He was happy to see the tears gone. “Trying to guess my age?”

“I know how old you are.”

“Really?”

“The same age as my sister, thirty-two.”

“And you’re thirty-six.”

“Right.” He dropped a kiss on her nose. “So how old were you?”

“Twenty-one, old enough to know better.”

Without thought, he nudged her until she was sitting in his lap. “I don’t agree that you were old enough to know better. He took advantage of you. What about the next boyfriend?”

Kristen scrunched up her nose at him. “Do we really have to do this?”

“Yes. We’re not going any further in our relationship until we get the baggage out of the way.”

“Will you tell me about your last submissive girlfriend?”

He froze for a minute then nodded. “It’s only fair.” He hadn’t talked to many people about Julia, but he would tell Kristen. She deserved to know.

“Now?” The tone of her voice sounded hopeful.

“Later. Tell me about boyfriend number three.”

“Boyfriend number three was also fiancé number one and an ass wipe.”

He smiled at the derision in her voice. “Tell me how you really feel.”

Kristen let out a little laugh and rested her head against his shoulder. “Part of me wonders why I didn’t see through Brian.”

“Another one who wanted to impress your parents?”

“Yes, but also, he was too perfect.”

“Tell me more.” He wanted to know what she meant by too perfect.

“You know”—she waved her hand in the air—“perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect smile. Fake, totally fake, in more ways than one.” She shifted in Cameron’s lap. “Was it wrong for me to ask for a little kink in the bedroom?”

“Hell, no.” What had this Brian done? Was this guy why she was so nervous about approaching him?

“Brian had called me a freak.”

Cameron’s arms tightened around her shoulders. Why did people who didn’t understand the lifestyle want to label those in it? Even as a sexual health professor, he’d run into attitudes that had made him grit his teeth, which is why he pushed to educate more people. “So you broke up with him?”

“Eventually. We ended up engaged first.”

“What the hell?” Cameron couldn’t believe she’d actually been engaged to the jerk.

“I know. I’m such a pushover.” She touched his cheek. “He didn’t call me a freak until later. But that wasn’t the worst he did.” Her eyes closed. “The rat bastard took most of my money and then sold his version of our relationship to a tabloid.”

A pattern was forming. While she didn’t want to talk about her family, it was apparent her parents had some sort of social influence if the tabloids were so interested. Men had used Kristen to gain favor and for access to her money as well.

“And then,” she said as a twinge of sadness colored her voice, “because of the story, I lost the job I’d fought tooth and nail to get. It was the last straw.”

“Did your parents believe you were the victim?”

She let out a bitter laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding. I was the troublemaker. No one ever listened to me.” She shook her head. “Okay, that’s not right. My grandmother listened to me. She held me while I cried and told me not all men were bastards.”

Cameron’s arms tightened, and he cuddled her close. He was glad she had at least one person in her court. “You’re not a troublemaker.” His lips brushed her temple. “You are a beautiful, tempting woman.”

“You are an irresistible, sexy male.”

Her words sent a shaft of heat to his groin. “I seem to remember you resisting me for several years.” He tilted her chin up, pleased to see her green eyes were clear and bright.

“I had a business to set up and get off the ground. I wasn’t in a position to deal with a man. Any man.” She brushed his hair away from his forehead. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize I was attracted to you.”

He allowed her to change the focus to him. “No worries.” He nuzzled her ear. “Julia and I had a unique relationship.”

“You said she was your submissive.”

“Yes. I wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship, but wanted a woman who would be my submissive.”

“You found that in Julia?”

“I thought I had. Do you know what a masochist is?”

“Someone who enjoys pain.” She tilted her head closer to his lips.

“Yes.” He buried his nose closer to her skin.

“Are you a sadist?”

“No.” He inhaled and enjoyed the smell of her skin, fresh without any artificial perfumes. Just Kristen. “That was the problem. Julia is a masochist, but I’m not a sadist.”

“From everything I’ve read about masochism, I’m surprised you two got together.”

“Julia told me she was fine with me not being a sadist. I’m not saying I didn’t flog her or use a cane, but I’m not into causing pain for pain’s sake. I want to give pleasure to my submissive. Hell, to any submissive.”

“Of course not.” Kristen’s fingers trailed over his chest. “What happened?”

He’d made her promise to be honest, so he could give her nothing less. “I thought we were doing well. We’d been together almost three years when I found out Julia was cheating on me.”

“What?” Kristen sat up straight in his arms. “Oh, Cameron, that woman had no idea what she was giving up.”

His lips turned up in a smile. “Thank you.” He dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Julia’s cheating was in the sense of the lifestyle. She was seeing another Dom on the side, who would beat her the way she wanted.” He took a deep breath. “She was able to keep it a secret by not seeing me for several days after seeing her other Dom, waiting until the marks had faded.”

“It doesn’t excuse what she did.” Kristen huffed out a breath. “She had to take responsibility for what she did and why she had lied to you.”

“I agree.”

“Is that why you went to Scotland?”

“Partly.” He shifted Kristen so he could look into her eyes again. “I needed a break to sort out my feelings, not only about what had happened, but the lifestyle.”

She tilted her head. “Were you thinking about getting out of the lifestyle?”

The concern in her eyes warmed his heart. “No. I needed to understand the lifestyle from a different perspective.”

“Going to Scotland did that for you?”

“Yes. They are much more open and accepting over there, and it reinforced my beliefs in the lifestyle.”

“And yet here you are with me.”

“Yes.” He put his forehead against hers. “Because I want to be. I’ve waited a long time for you.” And it was true. His relationship with Julia had been doomed from the beginning. But he wouldn’t let that happen with his relationship with Kristen.

“Me, too.”

Their lips met. Her mouth was soft and pliant. Cameron forced himself to keep the kiss light and easy. He didn’t want to scare Kristen, although he suspected she wouldn’t scare too easily now that they had talked.

He lifted his head, releasing her sweet mouth. “It’s getting late.” Cameron lifted her to her feet and stood. “Did you free up tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes. Skye is actually going to open in the morning for me. I’ll do some baking and take the afternoon off.”

“Good.” With her hand in his, he walked to the front door. “Tomorrow, we’ll explore your needs and wants.”

“What about yours?”

He smiled. “Mine as well, but something tells me we’ll be compatible.” He drew her into his embrace, loving how she fit in his arms, her nose level with his lips. He kissed it softly. “I’ll be by to pick you up at one tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Her arms tightened around him. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay longer?”

“Don’t tempt me.” He brushed another soft kiss across her lips. “As much as I’d like to, we need to take this slowly. You have some knowledge but no real experience.”

He’d like nothing better than to spend the night in her bed loving her, making her come from his fingers, his lips, and eventually, his cock.

“All right.” Disappointment tinged her tone, but it was for the best.

Cameron withdrew from her embrace and slipped out the door. He waited until Kristen had locked it behind him to head to the car. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.