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Aein stood in the courtyard the next day with Finn and Lars. A painful bellow echoed from the tower above and Aein grimaced, knowing that King Vadim was expending all his energy trying to keep up the appearance that everything was normal. She thought how Queen Gisla had to fight so hard to hide her shift and this king fought so hard to keep his shift. The result of his people learning he was no longer one of them would be as disastrous as if Aein, Finn, and Lars returned to the castle without the berries and the queen's bewitchment was permanent.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Kaleo walked into the courtyard. In his hands, he held a bowl full of dried berries. Aein's heart stopped. Lars gripped her shoulder as if he needed to steady himself. Finn whined. Kaleo moved as if it was just another day, as if he was carrying out any normal task.
Kaleo inclined his head in greeting. "I have been instructed by King Vadim to give these to you to do with as you see fit." He passed them over to Aein and it was clear he was glad to get rid of them.
The berries were so nondescript - wrinkled and dry, like grapes left in the sun too long. Aein could not believe that after so many people were lost, after so many lives were destroyed to secure one of these berries, this practical stranger would hand them more than the Haidra kingdom could ever need. In fact, he was grateful to have her take them. They were a treasure worth more their weight in gold. They were the entire salvation of her people. She was at once terrified of dropping them, fearful the earth might quake and tip the bowl and she might lose a single, precious one. She might trip and fall on her way to her room and squish them. How would she get the berries through the swamp to the Haidra kingdom? At any moment, there might be an attack. An animal might tear open her pack to eat them. Fire could rain out of the sky and burn it all. Her hands began to tremble at the vastness of what she held and her mind went through every possible scenario of what could go wrong. They had suffered too much for things to go right now. Surely, something had to destroy it.
Lars reached out to steady her wrists. "It is all right, Aein," he said, laughing.
She looked into his soft green eyes. His face was both fearful and hopeful, as overwhelmed as she felt, even more so. Now the moment was here, now that they had the chance to set all the wrongness right for him, they were both hesitating.
Kaleo cleared his throat. "If you will pardon me. You are free to partake of this gift at any time, but King Vadim would like to reiterate the second choice. As you know, we have mastered the shift and can change between forms at will. Some of us are even able to choose shapes that were not first given to us. King Vadim would like to offer you the gift of this knowledge."
"What does he want from us?" Aein asked, embarrassed that she was unable to keep the suspicion from her voice.
Kaleo looked at her in confusion. "Nothing. Why would he want something?"
King Vadim had been so kind to them the night before, but Aein's mind balked. It was too much. They were strangers. They were foot soldiers. They were nothing and had done nothing to deserve this generosity. "I have been a pawn of rulers and leaders who tell me they want one thing, only to find out that they want something quite different and it is always something that fits their own purposes."
Kaleo looked back and forth between Aein, Finn, and Lars with curiosity. "Do your people not share knowledge freely with one another?"
"We have apprentices that learn and, in exchange, serve their master for years until they have paid off their debt. And soldiers who learn to serve in the military..." explained Aein.
Kaleo stopped her, waving his hands as if he could not bear to hear another moment about the way things were on the other side of the swamp. "Knowledge is shared here. In learning the wisdom others have gathered, you learn what questions have not been answered. It is how our society grows and becomes strong. You, as outsiders, have brought the knowledge of the mushrooms. We have birds flying across the swamp in search of them. If anything, we are indebted to you. If it makes you uncomfortable, think of this offer as repayment for that gift. But you have suffered because of the shift and it should not be that way. The shift is a blessing. We know how to help. Why would we keep this from you? How does that benefit anyone? Learn from us. Perhaps you will see something we have missed and your viewpoint will find an even better way."
The bowl of berries grew heavy in her hands and she gulped. "It is up to Lars and Finn."
Kaleo looked at both of them. "Would you like this knowledge of the shift?"
Lars looked at the bowl and then at Kaleo. His face became hard as he thought. He glanced only for a moment at Aein and at Finn, as if consulting with them might make him change his mind and he did not want his mind to be changed. But a peace descended upon him. He reached out his freckled hand, took three of the blue, wrinkled berries. "I choose to return to the way I was," he said, and then placed them all in his mouth and chewed.
Kaleo reached out as if to stop him. Aein remember that Kaleo had asked that they eat the berries in a way that his people could study the effects, and Lars had forgotten the one request. But Kaleo did not rebuke him. He nodded in acceptance and turned to Finn.
Finn walked away from Lars and Aein, and sat before Kaleo.
Kaleo reached down and rested his hand on Finn's head as if giving him a benediction. "And so we shall begin."
He folded his hands behind his back and he and Finn walked away, leaving Aein and Lars standing where they were.
"I'm free." His voice cracked and his pale, freckled skin flushed with emotion. He moved to embrace Aein but then pulled back, not wanting to spill the bowl in her hand.
And despite the fact she was glad for her friend, glad that he had lifted this thing he always saw as a curse, there was a part of her that realized his decision meant they were not free. Not free at all.