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Chapter Twenty-Four

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Aein walked down the dingy, unused hall to a distant room on the far end.  She knocked three times and after a few moments, the door swung open to reveal Lars slipping his arms into a tunic.  He smiled when he saw her and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"Sorry, Aein!" he apologized as he yawned.  "It has been a long time since I have been allowed to sleep at night knowing I would not be disturbed.  I was taking advantage of the situation."  He motioned for her to step in.

The room was small.  The exposed stone walls lacked a window.  Inside was a wooden chair and a rumpled, narrow bed.  Lars's clothes were heaped upon the floor.

"I would not have interrupted you except we have a crisis," said Aein.

Lars closed the door behind her.  With concern, he folded his arms to listen to her news.  "What is going on?"

"Lord Arnkell has arrived with his army," she replied.

Lars sighed.  "So the spy was correct."

"He brought the fog with him," continued Aein.

Lars's face drained of all color and suddenly he was awake.  "He did what?"

"He is somehow controlling the fog," Aein replied.  "It surrounds his forces like a shield."

Lars sat on his bed, stunned.  "So all is lost."  He looked up at her, waiting for her to deny his words or say something encouraging.

"Not all," said Aein.  She bit her lower lip.  "I am sending out the werewolves into the city to protect the people.  We are sending criers out to tell everyone to go inside and stay there in the hopes the fog will not be able to find its way in."

"Good!" said Lars.  "That is good..."

"But there are soldiers who have never been in the swamp before," Aein continued, giving Lars a pointed look.  "And we need experienced people to help them."

"Ah..." said Lars.  "My presence is requested?"

Aein apologized.  "We need you."

"How are we going to explain this?" he asked, raising his perfectly human hands.  "We are going to have to explain why I am not covered in fur and walking on four legs."

Aein sat quietly for a moment.  "We're going to tell them you can control the shift," said Aein.  "Just as we were commanded by Queen Gisla."

Lars leaned his head against the wall behind the bed and gently banged his skull against the hard surface.  "Why aren't we telling them the truth?  Why aren't we telling them we have the berries?  Why are you asking me to lie?"

"Queen Gisla—"

"A queen who has never been in the swamp and has never been through what we have been through.  A queen who is not our queen.  You think she has the right to decide?"

Aein didn't say anything in response.  She didn't know what to say.  Her duty was to obey the orders of her queen and that was the end of the story as far as she was concerned.

"You don't know what it was like.  You don't know how horrible it is to not want this shift.  I have to look my former pack members in the eye, people who hate the shift as much as me, and keep from them the fact the berries are right here, right now."

"But we must!" said Aein.  "We need these werewolves.  Soldiers and sailors are drafted every day.  They are brought under conscription with no question as to what they want or don't want.  Lord Arnkell is out there.  He is about to destroy us all.  And I can't tell anyone it is right to abandon their post when our entire kingdom's survival depends on them fighting."

"Trust people to make the decision," Lars said, reaching out to Aein and taking her hands in his.  "Trust that people are strong enough and smart enough to know what they should do in their own best interest."

"But at the sacrifice of everyone else?"

Lars let go of her, his face filled with disappointment.  "I can't tell you what to do, Aein.  I thought you were a different person.  The girl I fell in love with would have never asked people to be something they are not."

"But they ARE this now, Lars," she said.  "Like it or not, they are werewolves.  True, you chose to walk away from this shift.  But we saw there in the Vadim Kingdom what could happen when people used this perceived curse as a blessing, what happened when they took this darkest side of themselves and turned it around to become their greatest strength."

"You don't know," Lars said to Aein, shaking his head.  "You have never stood in our shoes.  You have never experienced the pain of what it is like.  You brought this on us and for us to just accept what we are now would sure make you feel better about yourself and what you have done."

"That's not what I'm saying at all," said Aein, shocked he would come to this conclusion.

"Isn't it?  You've torn yourself apart inside for what you did.  You don't want us to fix it and move on, otherwise, you would have given us the berries.  Instead, you want us to admit you were a part in some grand scheme, some master plan where everything worked out all right in the end.  Well, you know what, Aein?  It didn't.  Nothing that has happened has been for the better.  Nothing that has happened can even remotely be called for the best.  People have died.  Kingdoms have collapsed.  People have been hurt.  And all because of you and that cook."

"Don't lay this at my feet.  I was a pawn."

"That is always your excuse, isn't it, Aein?  A victim?  A helpless soul that someone thrust this fate upon.  Laying it at the feet of Lord Arnkell.  Laying it at the feet of Cook Bolstad.  But if you truly want to be free, you have got to stop defining yourself by what happened and start defining yourself by who you are today.  Who are you today, Aein?  What has all of this added up to?  To a woman who will not allow the people she harmed to make the decision that will help them the best?  To force a fate down their throat without giving them a choice?  I'm sorry, Aein.  That is what you did to us before, and you can see how well that turned out."

Aein turned away, the brutal honesty causing the tears to well in her eyes.  "Stop..." she said.

Lars reached out and grabbed her wrist.  "Aein, whatever went on between us, I am your friend.  I am a human.  And my job is to tell you when you forget.  Because that is what these mushrooms and berries have done to you.  They have made you forget what is important.  When you hurt someone, all they want is for you to ask them what you can do to make it better.  Not justify it.  Not tell them they are wrong.  Just ask them what they need to make it better and then help.  Ask the people that you transformed into werewolves what will make this better for them.  Trust that they might surprise you."

Aein pulled her wrist gently away and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.  She knew that every word he said was true.  She knew he was right.  "I'll... talk to the other wolves. I'll tell them everything."

"That's all I want, Aein," said Lars.

They sat in silence.  And then Lars began putting on his boots.

Aein watched him with surprise.  "You're coming?" she asked.

"Did I ever say I wouldn't?"

"No."

"Did I ever want to hide this part of me and what I had done?"

"No."

He slid his feet into the boots.  "Well, then.  Don't act so surprised that I am coming to fight by your side.  After all, I've been in the fog longer than anyone here at the stronghold.  They're going to need me.  They're going to need me around the clock." 

They walked into the courtyard.  There was a shift in mood from the moment they stepped out.  Those who were wolves looked at Lars. Some bared their teeth and their hackles rose.  Some looked at him in confusion, their large eyes shifting nervously as they whined, not sure what was going on.  Those who were in human form were in bed.  They would learn the truth tomorrow.

Unbidden, every werewolf soldier came flowing down the stairs to Aein and Lars, circling them as if unsure whether to greet them or attack them.

Aein wet her lips.  "We have the cure," she said.