THORNSDAY

The sunrise was gorgeous. That orange ball crept above the Gurgling Lake of Sulfur, lazy as a dragon, its half circle illuminating the horizon. Outlined by those long, low rays, a conquering army rose at the Grimhold’s doorstep. Their swords poked at the sky, and one or two of the invaders looked like they were about to relieve themselves. I hoped the orc sentries would miss that last part. It might not have been the most intimidating army, but it WAS an army, and they were almost at the castle doors. The orcs’ eyes went wide.

I saw it from the rocks below the castle wall. We’d rowed across the lake and beached Storey’s little boat alongside the castle moat. The ogres hadn’t come with us. First off, they wouldn’t fit in the boat. Second, they’d done their work and were fast asleep in the forest. This final part would be up to Oggy and me, and that goblin Gorey hired to protect me. As we climbed from the boat, a mighty bell rang out from the Grimhold.

It was the exact sound I’d waited for since we put the stone army in place. The orcs had hit the alarm. No one was allowed to ring that bell unless the castle was under complete and total attack. Once the bell chimed, it was war. I’d ordered the ogres to ring it when Bob and Rats pulled that prank on me. So I knew exactly what would happen when that earth-shattering toll echoed across the lake. I even stopped to give Storey my best I-said-it-would-work look. She scowled at me, but then she nodded a little.

My plan WAS working! The orcs gathered on the castle walls. Their captains cried out orders. The guards cranked up the Fountains of Flame and opened the lava moat.

That last part was the one I’d waited for. See, the lava comes from the Fountains of Flame. That molten rock runs down a stone channel, through a door, and out into the castle moat. But the lava moves slowly. It creeps along like an ogre lost in the woods. This was the essence of my plan. While the lava oozed out of the fountains and rolled toward the moat, I would slip through the open hatch, just ahead of the searing, incredibly dangerous lava flow, and enter the castle.

“You want me to duck through the door where all the lava comes rolling out?” Storey asked. She made it sound like a question, but she was just repeating my own words in a mocking tone. That kind of stuff really gets on my nerves, so I told her she could stay behind if she was TOO scared.

Man, that got her moving.

Oggy was moving too, but he had a different motivation. He was a big guy and worried it might take him a while to squeeze through that door. He didn’t want to get caught in the hatch when the molten rock arrived. Incineration by lava is apparently an unpleasant way to die, so he bolted and so did I.

Every orc had his eyes on the “faire folk army” or was trying to fend off the Roaming Rash. I saw them scratching at the middle of their backs or the insides of their ears. None of them saw us or even paid the three of us any attention. And the moat was empty, so we walked right up to the open hatch.

Unfortunately, the lava was almost at the door. At that point, any rational grimmie would have seen that molten rock, stopped, and come up with a different plan. There was probably another way into the castle. But I had put a lot of WORK into this little scheme. And I wasn’t going to give up just because our lives were on the line.

I mean, actually, that’s a really good reason to give up, but again, I DID NOT give up. My parents had told me I had the strength to be the next Dark Lord, and I believed them. Heck, for once in my life, I believed in myself! We could do this!

I pushed Storey through the hole. Oggy put two hands on the opening. We both held our breath. I imagined my best friend burnt alive, turned to lava-food or flame-supper. Oggy told me this was no time for Ken-things. He’d already climbed through the hole, which was bigger than it looked. He might not have been much of a soldier, but he DID want to live. Oggy also had that pixie in his pocket, and he didn’t want the little guy to get fried. So he’d slipped into the castle. I was the one who was dawdling. I dove for the lava hatch, but the burning, searing, flesh-consuming molten rock hit the door just when I did.

I should have been burned to death, turned to ash, food-for-the-gods, or whatever.

But Storey intervened. Her sword was apparently not just long but also magical, a gift from the goblin queen. That blade could cut straight through iron, and that’s exactly what it did. She sliced the hinges right off the hatch, lifted that big iron square, and threw it down on the lava. Storey had just made a raft.

Unfortunately, it was moving in the wrong direction. In a second it would be gone, out of the castle and into the moat. But I understood what she’d done. I leapt through the lava hatch, up onto the raft, hit it briefly, jumped off, and landed on Oggy. We crashed down in a pile of half orc and warlock. He seemed okay with it. Oggy was just happy I was alive, and I hadn’t even crushed the pixie in his pocket, though I had woken the little guy from a nap. He knocked me on the head.

Aside from the tiny lump the pixie left on my forehead, I was happy to be back inside the Grimhold. But I had to thank Storey for saving my life, which pretty much squashed any joy I had left.

“Thanks for . . . you know,” I said.

“For what?” she asked, face blank, like she had NO IDEA what I was talking about.

“You know, the whole thing,” I said.

“The whole what?” she asked, head shaking, goblin eyes wide with confusion.

“For the raft and saving my life and all that,” I said at last, spelling it all out. I’d thought we’d bonded last night. We’d talked about her art, and I’d gotten to know the REAL Storey. I’d hoped she’d give up on the whole warrior thing—but boy, was I wrong.

She waited until I was done, then she nodded her head, but slowly—as if some realization had at last dawned on her. As if saving me had been some pesky little thing she’d already forgotten about. But I knew it was all an act. She wanted to prove she’d actually done her job for once. I just wished she hadn’t made me thank her for it. If I ever saved someone’s life, I decided I’d be a lot nicer about it.

I was about to say something when I heard a howl from the wall. Up until then, the guards had their eyes on the faire folk “army.” But some orcs had finally figured out that the soldiers were nothing but a bunch of lousy statues. We needed to hide.