GEDEON had never needed sex more in his life. He woke in a sweat, his cock harder than a rock. It was his own damn fault. To tame his fucking leopard, he kept Meiling with him, playing chess or reading to him until she keeled over, so exhausted that she just slept in his bed—his goal all along. He would accuse her of cheating at chess because she moved the pieces on the chess board for them both and he would change the positions deliberately when she got him something to drink.
He liked to hear her laughter. That laugh of hers put absolute steel in his cock. She always laughed when she realized he had moved the pieces when she returned with the drinks. Once she only pretended to leave the room. He called her on it because Slayer was well aware she was lurking in the doorway. Her laughter bubbled up like the finest champagne.
She was small and light, so it was easy to gently guide her to the center of the bed and position her body right next to his. Slayer liked her close. Gedeon told himself he was doing this night after night for his leopard and suffering the hardship of becoming desperate for sex, because his hands couldn’t help finding their way to her soft skin. She had the softest skin he’d ever felt. His legs tangled with hers. Twice his hands cupped her breasts.
He sat up, trying to control his breathing, trying to breathe away the fierce need. He’d always been a sexual man, but the urgency was so much more severe. His cock was a monster, so out of control. He’d always imposed such strict discipline on himself, and he’d wondered if this was the result—the one place he’d been unable to tame.
What was he doing, torturing himself? Why? Why insist Meiling sleep in his bed beside him? Was he really afraid she’d slip away in the middle of the night? He was a hunter. That was what he did—he found people who ran away from their responsibilities. She couldn’t run from him now if she wanted to. He knew her.
At first, she was reluctant to talk too much about herself. The more he disclosed of his past, the more she disclosed small things about herself to him. Not anything of her past, just little things. He knew she liked to cook and watched reality shows and bad movies. They made her laugh. She never watched horror films or anything where someone was bullied.
Beside him she stirred, and he made certain the log that was his burning cock was nowhere near her body. She gave a little groan and sat up next to him, scrubbing her hands down her face. He felt that gesture as one arm slid against his.
“Oh no, I did it again. I fell asleep in your bed, Gedeon. And you’re awake again.” Her hand touched his face. “What is it this time?”
He was tempted to lie again, but she wasn’t believing the lies he fed her. Deliberately, he took her hand and placed it over his bare, hot, swollen cock. The monster jumped and jerked the moment there was contact with that small, soft palm. “I can’t go this long without sex.”
He expected her to pull her hand away and leap out of the bed, but she was Meiling, and she always did the unexpected. “Poor baby. That does give you a problem, doesn’t it?” There was amusement in her voice. She patted his cock a bit irreverently and lifted her hand away.
Women found his cock amazing. Magnificent. She just patted it like he was a schoolboy with his first-time erection. She didn’t seem to understand the dire situation. “I don’t suppose you would want to take care of it?”
“Nice offer, but no thanks.” She was already sliding off the bed.
He couldn’t lose her. She’d go sleep somewhere and he’d sit there alone, losing his mind, in pain, with a useless rock-hard cock that she put there.
“Lotus, give me a break.”
“What do you normally do in this circumstance?”
There was laughter in her voice. He’d give anything to see her facial expression. There was something about just being close to her that got inside of him and turned him inside out.
“I go to the club and find a woman to take care of the problem.”
“At least you agree it is a problem.”
How could he want to laugh when he hurt like hell? More, he was relaxing, and so, damn it, was his cock. “The only thing we can agree on is that you refused to help me when I was in dire straits. I thought you were a generous person.”
“Did you really believe I was just going to give you a blow job?”
“Well . . . yeah. I go to the club and there are a hundred women who vie for the honor. At least a hundred. Maybe more. I don’t have to ask, Lotus, they stand in line.” He was fairly certain he got an eye roll from her.
“Do you have any idea how incredibly spoiled and arrogant you are? I hope you scrub that thing clean after putting it in all those mouths. If you can’t make it to the club and you’re in a bad way, what do you do then?”
“I call Rene and he brings me a woman.”
There was a short silence. “Sheesh, Gedeon. You turned your friend into a pimp. That’s so wrong. Why can’t you pick up the phone and get yourself a woman? Don’t you have a little black book or something? Your contact list is full and then some, but I didn’t find women listed.”
“You snooped in my contacts?”
“Naturally, but you’ll have to reprimand me later. I’m trying to help you here.”
“How? Were you thinking of procuring a woman for me?”
“I considered it, but I think it best if you do it. It’s the manly thing to do. You shouldn’t wake Rene for this. You need to learn to make those calls yourself.”
So much for Meiling pining away for him. That suppressed laughter in her voice was at his expense. He should be annoyed with her, not wanting to laugh with her.
“The doctor said I wasn’t to have sex.”
Meiling must have paused at the door. She sounded as if she was at the door, that distance away, although he hadn’t heard her, not even a whisper of sound. “You sneak. He seriously told you no sex and you’re trying to get me to give you a blow job behind his back.”
“I wouldn’t have let you.”
“You are a bald-faced liar,” she accused.
That was the honest truth—he was. He burst out laughing. “Do you want to go to the Café Du Monde with me? It’s a nice walk. We could grab coffee and sit by river and watch the sun come up.”
“We could grab coffee, sit by the river and I could watch the sun come up. You would have to wear the special glasses sent to you by the doctor. You remember him. And then there’s the other one, the doc who said no sex.”
He took the opportunity to get up and find his clothes. He’d named a local hangout that was a favorite of his in the hopes she would want to go with him.
“You do know you’re physically superb, Gedeon. It isn’t any wonder those women throw themselves at you. At the same time, you seem to think the responsibility is all theirs when it comes to sex with you. They may have certain expectations.”
He paused in the act of pulling up his jeans to look toward the doorway where her voice was coming from, damning the fact that his eyes were useless. “I make it very clear there is no relationship between us. Very clear, Meiling. I’m a shifter. I have a vicious leopard who is always eager to tear them apart should I make one mistake and let my guard down. I’m careful because of him. I don’t spend time with them. I don’t promise to remember them or call for a second round with them. It’s a fuck and nothing more. We both understand that.”
“I’m not being judgmental about your choice of lifestyle, Gedeon.” Her tone was soft. Gentle. “I just want to make certain the women go into their time with you with their eyes wide open. You’re physically gorgeous. You have a mesmerizing quality to your voice. I imagine your eyes would be compelling coupled with your voice.”
He loved all the things she said about him. She was matter-of-fact about it, as if stating facts, not praising him, but that made her compliments all the more sincere.
“It isn’t a lifestyle choice, Lotus,” he objected. “I wish it was that.” He pulled on his favorite pair of jeans and slid his feet into his loafers before staring sightlessly up at the shirts on hangers. “Choose a tee for me to wear.”
“If it isn’t your choice to have three women in a night, what is it?”
She was closer, coming up behind him, her voice sounding curious. Gedeon stepped to the side to give her room to look at the array of shirts. She reached past him to push the shirts to one side.
“I had to find a way to counter the continual need for violence not only in my leopard, but in me. At eighteen, consensual sex seemed harmless enough. In fact, it seemed an exciting alternative. I didn’t realize I was teaching my body to exchange one alarming addiction for another.” He didn’t confess to anyone. Why he told her these things about himself when he wanted her to like and respect him, he couldn’t say, but he seemed to blurt out the truth. “Slayer was just as addicted and in need as I was.”
“I like this burgundy tee.” The hanger rattled and then she thrust the soft T-shirt into his hands. “Do you think Mr. Bojangles is responsible for you needing violence?”
“You are not calling Slayer Mr. Bojangles.” He was horrified at the name. Even if they were in private, he wasn’t allowing her to call his very vicious leopard a street performer’s name, even if that street performer was famous and a bit of an outlaw.
Her laughter bubbled up. “I thought it was better than Mr. Sparkles, or Sparky for short.”
“Woman, you are skating close to being strangled.” He accepted the jacket she handed him and shrugged into it. Out of all the ones hanging in his closet, she’d found his favorite.
“You’re so tough, Leopard Boy. The next time you’re lounging around naked, I’ll call to him and see if he’ll come out. If he does, I’ll be able to come up with a proper name for him.”
“You want me to let out my leopard in the same room with you?” They went out of the master bedroom into the main hall and walked together toward the front door.
“How else will I get to know him?” she asked. “Do you have your dark glasses? And your walking cane?”
He despised that cane. “I think waiting until I have my eyesight back would be a better idea,” he hedged. “And yes on the dark glasses. No on the cane. I can hang on to your arm.”
“Gedeon, you don’t know how long it will take to get your sight back. You can’t count on me being here every time you want to leave the house. You need to learn to walk with the cane. In any case, Decatur Street is a bit of a distance to walk from here.”
“Not tonight,” he said firmly. Conversation closed. If she wanted to refuse to go out with him, so be it. He wouldn’t go. He could accept staying in, even though he was sick of it.
“I understand that. I’d be the same way. I’m a little worried about the stairs, but we managed them when your leg was a mess. If you could do that then, you can manage the stairs now.” She said the last with confidence.
They walked to the front door together and she stepped forward to open it. It was Meiling, not Gedeon, who went out first to ensure that no one was lurking outside to harm either of them. That did set his teeth on edge. He knew the situation wasn’t going to last forever. Two and half weeks had gone by and the infection in his leg was gone.
His eyes were so much better. Already there was a small slit of light beginning to show itself at the bottom of his eyes. Dr. Bouet had told him that was to be expected and to keep putting the thick salve in and wear the darkest possible glasses. Eventually that light would grow until it would be visible throughout his eye.
It was just that—he couldn’t protect Meiling properly. She was always in the position of having to protect him. He didn’t like that. He felt less than a man.
Slayer stirred a little lazily. There is no danger nearby. I would let you know.
Gedeon was moody and bad-tempered. Out of sorts. It sucked that Slayer was calm and unruffled. He couldn’t even blame his bad mood on his leopard. Meiling took his arm and led him to the stairs.
“Seven stairs, Gedeon,” she told him, placing his hand on the wrought-iron guardrail.
He felt for the first step. Meiling didn’t leave his side, stepping down with him. She gave him room, but she stayed close, mirroring his steps. He had never been more aware that she was very small and felt delicate and fragile.
“I don’t want to fall on you, Lotus. You might want to step back and wait to see if I can get to the bottom of the stairs without mishap.” He didn’t mean to sound snarly and growly, but he wasn’t taking chances with her either.
Meiling didn’t give him one of her smart-mouth replies. She stepped back, but she didn’t go up the stairs or down them. She just gave him more room. He made it down the stairs without a problem. That gave him a feeling of triumph. Meiling tucked her hand in the crook of his arm as if he was walking her rather than the other way around. Together they began to make the trek to Decatur Street and the original Café Du Monde.
They weren’t in a hurry. There was no one around at that time of morning and the two of them could appreciate the quiet as they made their way through the streets together. The slight wind was capricious, rushing first one way and then the next, carrying drops from the river toward them to touch their faces with refreshing dew.
Gedeon found he really enjoyed being outside after being cooped up for so long. Stars glittered in the sky. The moon glowed, casting a silvery light that managed to find the slit that lit up the tiny, minuscule area below his eye that he could make out even with his nearly blackout glasses. That gave him a sense of joy.
“There’s a full moon, isn’t there?”
“There is.”
Her voice contained happiness. He knew it was for him. He realized there were so many things he got from her that he’d never had from another human being. Genuine caring. Genuine giving. She rejoiced in his progress—found real happiness in it. She never seemed to take exception when he was out of sorts and yelled at her. More than anything, she became amused at those times. She found a way to make him laugh.
“I can see this little tiny white line at the bottom of each eye,” he admitted. “It isn’t much, but it wasn’t there before.” He poured satisfaction into his voice. “Don’t say you’re proud of me, Lotus, for enduring. I know how you are. You’re going to be sweet and act like I’ve been a great patient.”
She laughed those musical notes that told him she belonged in New Orleans. “You can get testy, but it doesn’t last long. Seriously, Gedeon, you’ve been great about your eyes.”
“Not so much when I began to see progress,” he admitted, because he knew rather than being ashamed of him, she would find his reaction hilarious. He wanted her laughter. “I tried staring at every conceivable object in an effort to widen the space so I could see more. All that did was make my eyes burn to the point I had to put cool cloths on them. I called Bouet and told him it was an emergency, that he needed to come right away. I hung up so he couldn’t ask me questions.”
“That poor man. Leopard Boy in full-blown arrogant get-whatever-you-want mode.”
He nodded, not bothering to deny it. “It gets so much worse, babe.”
She groaned and rubbed her head against his arm. “Why do these people put up with you?”
“Notice I had the Ming vase put away for safety. You’re beginning to rub off on Rene. But I still can intimidate Dr. Bouet. I threatened him.”
“Don’t sound like you’re happy about it.” She punched him hard. “The last thing you need to do is scare off your doctors. You’re going to get a reputation.”
“I have a reputation and you’ve systematically been ruining it.”
“Only with Rene. I cast my eyes down and look appropriately frightened when you roar in front of anyone else.”
“No eye rolling?”
“Only in front of Rene. I’m going to search the house for the Ming vase. If I find it, it’s a goner and so is your head.”
That little note of laughter bubbling up when she threatened him made his stomach clench in all kinds of good ways.
“How did the doc take your threats?”
“He pointed out that I needed him. I had to admit he had a point. He told me to calm down and that it was normal for my eyes to begin to see that way. He said it was a good sign overall, I could look at it as an improvement. The cavalry began to arrive.” There was a little snicker in his voice.
She stiffened. “What does that mean? If that doctor called in a bunch of armed men, we can find someone else to treat your eyes. And where was I?”
“Lotus, I might be blind, but I can still defend myself, especially in my own house. In Bouet’s defense, I did threaten him. He must have been given a little panic button and he hit it when I growled at him. You growl back.” He ruffled her hair.
She had a lot of hair. Most of their kind did. Thick and luxurious. She was born leopard whether hers would ever show itself or not. So far, the creature was elusive, in no hurry to wake up. It occurred to Gedeon that Meiling was so opposed to male shifters and she was so strong-willed that she had inadvertently suppressed her female leopard.
Gedeon’s fingers lingered in her hair. She didn’t protest, but then, she rarely did when he touched her. He was tactile, sometimes needing to bury his face in her hair and inhale the fragrance of her.
“Tell me what happened.”
She could be a fierce little thing. He remembered her putting her life on the line in Venezuela, the guns aimed at her when she stood for him against Jules and Louis. She hadn’t backed down for a second. She risked her life to warn him of the bomb, even knowing he couldn’t afford to leave witnesses. Meiling was as tough as nails, and she had a protective streak a mile wide.
“Drake Donovan owns an international security company. His men are well trained and known to be the best at what they do. He sends them to the hottest spots in the world to hone their skills. A little-known fact is they’re mostly shifters. He is also the head of a lair right here in New Orleans. The lair was one of the worst when he took over and it’s thriving now.”
He found he knew the way to Café Du Monde without anyone guiding him. He’d been so many times—straight from his home, or the club after hours, or taking a client. The historic café was open twenty-four hours a day and was right next to the river. It was a place he could be out in the open at the height of tourist season and still enjoy.
“I take it Bouet’s backup was a group from Donovan’s organization.” Meiling made it a statement. “How many did he send?”
“A full team. Five.” Pure satisfaction swamped him. He’d been more than happy when that team of badasses had arrived.
“How did they get in? The house is self-locking. Unless they snuck in when Bouet came in, and they wouldn’t have had time for all of them to come through. Your phone would have alerted you.”
“My phone didn’t alert me. Donovan sent a couple of men to do the security on the house. I always suspected he left a back door. A way in for his men just in case he’s sent to kill me.”
“Why would Drake Donovan want to kill you?”
Now her voice was pitched very low. Scary low. He could well imagine what his partner looked like when she meant business. Achingly beautiful. Hauntingly gorgeous. His perfect mate. He couldn’t think of her that way. She was his partner and off-limits. He would take their friendship over never seeing her again. She made it perfectly clear there wasn’t going to be sex between them. He had a code of honor. She said no. It was no.
“He didn’t want to kill me, Lotus. He didn’t want me killing the doctor. By the time they arrived and managed to get into the house, Bouet was already just fine. He felt a little sheepish pushing his panic button when I wasn’t going to snap his neck.”
Her breath came out in a long rush. “You knew he had the panic button, didn’t you?” Meiling accused. “Why would you want that?” she mused aloud. “I watched you put your clothes on. I put your weapons out for you. You knew you could disappear and get out of there clean by using one of the passages. You deliberately scared that man until he used the panic button. Why?” She wasn’t asking him; she was trying to puzzle out his actions.
They had walked right up to the large outdoor seating area of Café Du Monde. At the time of night they arrived, few people occupied the tables, and they walked right in and sat down at a table for two. The moment he was seated, he lost all contact with Meiling. Panic crawled up his throat and he fought it back. He would not be dependent on her.
“A café au lait sounds perfect right now.” Her voice accompanied the scrape of her chair as she moved close enough that her thigh brushed his. “Although I hesitate to see what this kind of coffee can do to you.” The laughter was back in her voice, the tone inviting him to share her amusement.
“Slayer loves coffee, especially the coffee here.”
“He would. So, I think I figured out why you wanted Bouet to press his panic button.”
“Are we going to make a wager?” He liked their little bets. For the most part their bets were for silly things, never money. She liked his foot massages and usually asked for that. He liked her scalp massages or for her to stay in his bed.
“Naturally.”
The waiter interrupted them. He ordered a black coffee. She ordered a café au lait. He requested one order of their signature beignets. She changed the order to two, making him laugh.
When the waiter walked away, she propped her head on her hand, elbow on the table. “What diabolical thing do I have to do if I lose?”
“Sleep in my bed every night for a week with only a nightgown or your underwear on.”
“A week. That’s a bit much.”
“Are you turning down the terms of the bet before we even get started?” His voice purred with satisfaction.
“No, just saying it’s over-the-top.” She drummed her fingers on the table and then abruptly pulled the offending hand into her lap with her other hand.
He’d seen her do that before. He found himself fixating on the movement. Scowling, he reached for the hand she’d placed in her lap, soothing it with his strong fingers. There were so many things about her he didn’t know. Little insecurities that made no sense to him.
“If I win,” she said, “you have to say thank you and please to every single person you interact with for a week. No snarling or growling.”
“I can’t afford to lose my reputation. That could get me killed.”
“Do you think being polite means you aren’t tough?”
“Some people think that.”
“That’s such bullshit, Leopard Boy. You like snarling at people. It’s fun for you. Admit it. Own it.”
That teasing note was nearly his undoing, making him come apart inside. But he did think about what she said. “Maybe that is how I get my fun. It’s been a habit for years now. It was necessary when I was young to scare the crap out of everyone. I developed the habit and I guess I just kept it up.”
“Fine, then, I won’t make you say please or thank you to anyone but me.”
“Best guess, then. Why would I want Bouet to hit the panic button?” He really wished he could see her face and read her expression. Everything about Meiling fascinated him, especially the way her mind worked.
“You said Donovan sent a couple of his men to put in the security system at your home. You must have suspected that they left a back door, a way to slip in somehow in case of an emergency. You’re a dangerous shifter and it would stand to reason that Donovan might decide it would be prudent to have a way to get to you just in case you go rogue.”
She was incredible. He didn’t say a word. The waiter put his coffee in front of him and Meiling’s café au lait in front of her, then added the two orders of beignets to the table.
“I love these,” Meiling said. “They are so incredibly good.” There was silence for a moment. “Open your mouth.”
Gedeon wasn’t sure he could allow anyone to feed him like he was three years old, but he was getting all kinds of new experiences with Meiling and he wanted to enjoy every one of them. He opened his mouth. She was gentle, but the beignet was sticky and warm. He bit into it. It tasted like he remembered. The powdered sugar went everywhere. He felt it cascading down onto his clothing. She tried to catch it, leaning into him. Her lips touched the corner of his mouth, her tongue catching some of the sugar. She laughed, and he couldn’t help laughing with her at the absurdity of chasing after beignets.
He felt for the cup of coffee, and she took his hand and wrapped it around the mug as if she’d been doing it for a lifetime.
“It’s hot,” she cautioned. “I got powdered sugar all over you. It’s all over me too. I don’t think I have the hang of eating these things.”
“There isn’t a right way, Lotus. You’re just supposed to enjoy them.”
“It would be impossible not to,” she admitted, still laughing. “I love them. You’ll have to keep me away from this place or I’ll spend my entire time eating. I think I might even give up the idea of becoming partners with you and just work here.”
He caught her face in his hands and leaned into her to flick his tongue along her lower lip. Sure enough, there was a coating of powdered sugar. He took a sip of hot coffee. “That does taste good,” he agreed, pulling back because he was too tempted to actually kiss her. He didn’t kiss women. “But it can’t interfere with our partnership. Finish telling me about your theory. Dr. Bouet and his panic button.”
“Oh, that. You have excellent hearing. You knew they would come to the aid of their poor helpless doctor. All you had to do was mellow him out so he’d be quiet, and you could hear wherever they got in. In this case, you said five of them came. That’s a lot. You had to have figured out where they were slipping in.”
“Up on the third story. The roof. I can pinpoint nearly the exact spot. I’ll be able to close it off and we’ll be entirely secure.”
She burst into laughter again. That sound found its way inside of him and he found himself smiling. Picking up a beignet, he took aim at her mouth. He really tried to be gentle, and he had a good ear, so he was mostly able to get her to take a bite without making too big of a mess. Beignets were messy. That was part of the appeal. He ran the pads of his fingers over the full curves of her lips. “You have powder all over your lips.”
“I do?” She picked up her coffee cup and took a drink. “Did you know there was a time that white lipstick was the ‘in’ thing? The fashion people called it the frosted look.”
“Maybe they got the idea from coming to the Café Du Monde,” he ventured. “It’s been around long enough.”
“You do have a famous perfume company here in New Orleans. Why not start a lipstick company based on beignets? You could call the lipstick Ice. It would be all the rage if you could get a really famous model to be the face of your company.”
He licked his finger, swiped it across her lips and then put it in his mouth to suck the powder from it. “You taste like beignets and café au lait.”
“In other words, yummy.”
“I am not going to say ‘yummy,’ Lotus. That is asking way too much of an alpha leopard.” He drank his coffee slowly, his legs sprawled lazily out in front of him, trusting her to tell him if he was getting in anyone’s way.
“I did win the bet. I think using ‘yummy’ is a good start to making up for the all the times you snarled at me.”
“Are you eating more beignets? You sound like you’re eating and talking at the same time. I believe you ate your entire order already.”
“Your very yummy beignets are getting cold. I can’t see wasting them.” She managed to sound pious.
“I shared one with you.”
“You shared a bite with me. That’s not the same thing. And it was a small bite. I gave you an entire beignet. I was generous.”
“You made certain to get powdered sugar all over my shirt. That was your goal.” He took another sip of coffee. He’d missed the coffee at the Café Du Monde. He’d missed coming here in the middle of the night and listening to the Mississippi River. If he ever lost Meiling, he would forever miss her teasing and laughter.
“What do you think about taking the job, Meiling? Being my partner?”
“You’re making me crazy, Gedeon. I told you we should wait until you can see before we decide. You could easily change your mind.”
“I won’t change my mind and you know it. We’ve talked about what the job entails. What kind of money you would make. The freedom it would give you. The protection you’d have. The carpenters are already working on your private suite. There are so many pluses to you taking the partnership. The only con I see is working with me. Is that the problem? You don’t want to work with me but you’re afraid to tell me?”
There was a long silence. He could tell she was drinking her café au lait and pushing the beignet around on the plate. Hard knots formed in his belly, but he remained silent. Silence revealed so much more if you could just survive it.
“I like you, Gedeon. Too much. I don’t stay around people, especially people I like. Not that there’s been very many. It’s too risky. I don’t know how to be with people. Even Libby. I loved her and I know she loved me, but I didn’t live with her, not after we were kids. It’s just better if I don’t get too involved with anyone.”
There was truth in her tone. Honesty. Trepidation. She was afraid of something. Maybe him. He couldn’t tell. His leopard? Slayer? That was a possibility if she thought her leopard might rise.
“Do you believe you have a leopard, Meiling? Tell me the truth.”
She sighed. “The probability is high. I was surrounded by leopards. The family fostering me was leopard. So, yes, she’s never showed herself, but she most likely is there.”
“You have no family at all? You’re certain?”
“They’re all dead. I do know that much. Libby’s father told her my family was murdered. It seemed too big of a coincidence that Libby’s family was murdered, even though it was some years later. Then the neighbors who took us in. I told Libby it was smarter to live apart. It made it more difficult to pay for things, but I felt it was safer for her—for both of us.”
“You’re certain whoever is stalking you is after you and not Libby. Libby was kidnapped and taken to the jungle camp and eventually murdered.”
“Yes, but I don’t think she was taken by the same people. I had to track her, and the kidnappers didn’t feel the same. In any case, Gedeon, my hesitation isn’t because I don’t like you or because I don’t want to work with you, it’s just the opposite. I wouldn’t know what to do being around you all the time. And I honestly don’t think it’s safe for you or Rene.”
“I’m not going to be blind forever, Meiling,” he said as gently as he could. “You like to tease me and I’ll admit, from you I like it, but from anyone else I wouldn’t take it. I’m not a nice man and I never will be. Whoever these people are that are stalking you, they don’t stand a chance if they come looking for you and you’re with me. You did your homework and looked into me. I know you did. You’re that kind of woman. You have to know what I’m really like. I kill and I do it without much thought if someone deserves it. I’ll protect you, Meiling.”
“Who will protect you, Gedeon?” She whispered the question, her voice dripping with tears.
Gedeon couldn’t help himself. He touched her face with the pads of his fingers, mapping it out like a blind man for the first time. Committing every inch to memory. Feeling for tears along with her delicate bone structure. He’d always known he was broken, and that there was so much damage and trauma done to him, there was no way to fix him or his leopard. There was only one way out for a man like him. But for just a little while Meiling had managed to bring laughter and joy into his world. She’d given him a taste of what it could be like to live and share life with another being.
He realized he wasn’t the only one damaged or traumatized. Just maybe Meiling was broken too. He needed her and he knew it. He acknowledged it. But it was possible she needed him just as much. She was fighting the desire to stay with him, using every excuse possible. She did have a strong protective nature.
Slayer, this is important. Is your mate with Meiling? Is that why you accept Meiling so easily? It was difficult to get the importance of the questions to his leopard in images. Even the questions. This was never something he had discussed with his leopard. Their world had always been one of violence. He had never considered that one day Slayer’s mate would walk into their lives.
I cannot say. When she is close to us, I feel at peace. I do not feel the same with any other human.
The leopard fell silent and Gedeon thought the large cat wouldn’t say anything else, but he stirred again. I reach for her at times, thinking I feel her, but if she is there, she is elusive. I do not find her even when I call to her. Meiling is good for you. She is good for me. We should keep her.
To the leopard, it was that simple. In human terms, the situation was fraught with complication.
Gedeon set down his coffee cup and reached with both hands for Meiling’s hands. “You’ll protect me, Lotus. I have total faith in your abilities. Being with me will only enhance your skills. Mine will grow just being with you. Once I’m better we can work out together on a regular basis. That will bring our physical skills up as well.”
He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands. Her bones were small. Felt fragile for a shifter. He despised not being able to see her. But without sight, he could feel her energy so much more acutely. There was an awareness that hadn’t been there before. He let himself breathe her in. She was struggling with commitment. She wanted it. She just couldn’t make herself give him her word. To her that would be binding.
“Stay with me, Lotus. I’ve never said this to another human being, but I need you. Slayer needs you. We were drowning before you came along. I didn’t want to put that on you, but it’s the truth. I think you were drowning too. Maybe not in the same way, but you need us.”
She let out her breath in a slow exhale. “For six months. A six-month trial.”
“A year, Meiling. It will take that long to get used to each other and work smoothly. You know that.”
She abruptly pulled her hands away and he thought he’d lost her.
“You always push it, Gedeon. You’re never satisfied until you get your way. I’ll agree to a year, but if you say one more word on the subject tonight, I’m out.”
“Fortunately, it’s four o’clock in the morning, so I’m safe.”
She burst out laughing, just the way he knew she would.