A Letter to My Readers

Two years ago I experienced what to-date has been the most excruciating experience of my life. I miscarried after trying for a period of time to get pregnant. To this day, I’m not sure how to answer when people ask how many children we have. I often say three because it’s easier, but each time I whisper in my heart, Our fourth child resides in heaven. This book grows from that experience and from my deep desire to acknowledge the often unspoken pain of that experience.

Prior to my miscarriage, I was one of those who probably said all the wrong things. I also didn’t realize miscarriage occurred in at least 25 percent of recognized pregnancies. To be honest, I had no frame of reference. The pain spun my world on its axis and left me groping for Jesus in the darkness.

The loss from miscarriage—at least for me—is an ongoing pain. Every milestone during pregnancy that was missed. The due date. The anniversary of the loss. The pain is tempered, but present.

One of my friends comforted me most by acknowledging the pain. She said, “When we lose a parent, we lose part of our past. When we lose a spouse, we lose part of our present. But when we lose a child, we lose part of the future.”

My prayer for this book is twofold. If you’ve been blessed to never experience a miscarriage, I hope this will give you a piece of insight so you can better support friends and family in their time of need. And if you’ve experienced this loss, know I grieve with you and pray God will show you He can turn what the enemy intended for evil into something beautiful. And I pray you catch glimpses of that beauty here and now.